Slipping Away

~Merina Pov~

I looked at the breakfast which was laid in front of me. There was no denying it looked sumptuous and if it was any other day, I would have grumbled it down but right now I have no appetite.

I felt exhausted both mentally and physically and I just wished to escape from the eyes of this man who stood rigidly by the door as he fixed his eyes on me as if telling me he wouldn't go if I didn't eat.

“I bet you haven't eaten all day right?” His calm voice asked, jolting me out of my daze.

I rolled my eyes at him and ignored him. I felt so irritated just thinking about how he wouldn't let me leave.

I wonder why mine is always so different. Other people have a one-night stand and forget about it, and some become friends or lovers when they find themselves fit. But in the case of I and Adams, like he had called himself—We don't fit!

He chuckled. Then walked closer to me, “You need to take care of yourself more. Now, eat!” He ordered, but I wasn't focused on that, my eyes were on his god-like face.

I had always thought my ex-boyfriend, Liam, was handsome but now I know the definition of the word.

Thinking of Liam, my heart clenched in pain, I had to force myself not to break down, especially in front of Adams.

“What's wrong?” He asked in a low tone.

I looked at him and finally gave him a response—A shake of my head.

I watched as he frowned, then nodded to the breakfast, “Eat something, and don't think too much. I will be in the study room.” He said then walked out of the room leaving me all alone in this silence.

I managed to finish my breakfast even if I felt nauseous, but I didn't want to waste the effort of the cook. It's been long since someone cooked me a meal and I wouldn't want to act like a brat and not eat it.

I stood up and stretched my body and walked to the window as I looked down. I saw the beautifully designed swimming pool and wondered when was the last time I had a good swim.

My eyes went dazed as I looked on. “Would I continue staying here and inconveniencing a stranger?” I whispered to myself.

I shook my head, No! I need to leave!

I just can't stay here.

It was a hard, cold, final thought.

Adam might have meant well, but I just couldn't possibly take it. People like him didn't fix broken things. They threw them away when they became inconvenient. He might have found me pitiful now, but if I get used to all this, what will I do when I am discarded?

My eyes grew determined the more I thought about it.

But where should I go? I rubbed my head in frustration. Even if I said I was leaving, do I have anywhere to go? But then, a thought popped into my brain as I remembered something.

My eyes lit up as I walked back to the bed in search of my bag. Then I found it on the couch. I opened it and searched through it as I prayed I hadn't lost it.

My hand touched a small rusty key and a smile immediately appeared on my face. I looked at the dusty keys that were given to me by an old nanny who worked in Downtown’s house.

The granny had stuffed the keys into my hands just last month as she said she would be going back to the countryside for her retirement. She had told me the address of this apartment and had advised me that if I couldn't take it anymore I should leave.

I had thought it would never be useful then but life has other plans for me. Since I have a place to stay now, I didn't bother waiting here. I picked up my bag and crept to the door, then opened it and looked around. Seeing the empty space I closed the door after me.

I took a deep breath and slipped out, trying to move quietly. My heart was hammering in my chest as I padded down the long corridor. The house was huge, every hallway was lined with sleek furniture and expensive artwork. It felt cold, and impersonal, telling me how wealthy and powerful he might be and giving me more reason to run.

I scoffed as I looked around. What does he want with a person like me? I thought bitterly. I'm nothing to him. I am just a burden that he will soon wish that he never picked up.

I was glad I made it to the front door and immediately toyed with the lock, my hands shaking. Finally, the click of it disengaging slapped through the morning air—sharp and cold, enough to yank me awake from the trance-like stupor I had been in for months now.

I paused for just a moment, looking back at the house. Then, without another thought, I stepped out into the open air and began to walk.

I walked a long distance before I saw a taxi which I was glad about as I was really about to faint. I told the driver the address of the place according to what I could remember.

By the time I reached the apartment, I felt so weak, and with each step I took, every bone in my body cried out in protest. The dilapidated building standing before me now was so unfamiliar, its chipped paint and cracked windows were somehow a perfect mirror of my life.

I looked on in a daze. So this is where I later found myself? But it suits me, haha! I can spend the rest of my life here without disturbing anyone. Isn't that good?

I smiled bitterly as I climbed up the creaky stairs to the first floor, each step aching in the empty hall. When I got to my door, I fought with the key before I finally managed to push it open.

An old smell hit my face immediately after I opened the door, I frowned and crunched my nose in disgust. The gloomy aura hit me so badly making me want to close the door but I held on.

I took a deep breath and regulated my breathing before entering the house, and I was amazed at the well-arranged space, it was not as bad as I thought which surprised me.

I entered and opened the window, letting sunlight come in, and then I opened the door to let the smell go away.

I briefly cleaned up the house before going to take a bath.

I sat down and looked out of the window which looked like they would break at any moment.

It's been years now, and this battle was going on. What was it about again?

The thought crept in unbidden, and I couldn't shake it. My mind began to wander back to who I used to be, before the diagnosis, before everything fell apart. I wasn't happy then, but at least I felt whole, with people I could care for, people I could trust—people who then had destroyed me.

My gaze fell to my lap, where my hands were trembling. They were such small, useless things, just lying there in my lap like that. I curled them into fists, digging my nails deep into my palms.

I don't want anyone's pity. Not Adam's. Not anyone's.

Tears stung at the corners of my eyes, but I forced them back. I couldn't cry now, not ever.

I gazed out at the gray sky, my heart heavy with all that I had lost. I'll make this right myself, just as I have so many other times before. I don't need him. I don't need anyone.

But Way down deep inside my very core, there was a very tiny, wicked whisper that spoke and taunted me, just perhaps—that this time I may be lying. But How? What will change?