CHAPTER 4

Harley's POV

I can't believe the doctor fired me because of the idiot guy. I never thought the doctor would do that. I thought he liked me. I could see the look of defeat on the so-called Billionaire's face and a look of pity on his friend's face and Anita's.

I picked up my things and left the hospital. 

As soon as I get home, I walk into the house to see my grandmother knitting another cardigan for me in the living room. The last one she did was for Jim. 

Seeing her in the wheelchair makes the reality of what happened dawn on me. I have lost my job, I can no longer save up for her surgery which is in a few months. 

I hug her and go into my room quickly so she won't see the tears streaming down my eyes. When I get to my room, I begin to cry. I am frustrated. 

How can I handle all of this alone without Jim by my side? How will I get grandma's leg surgery done? Why does my past have to come haunting me now?

I cry harder, remembering how I lost my parents. The memories are still fresh in my head like they just happened. It happened when I was 12 and ever since then, I barely sleep at night. Even when I sleep, my sleep doesn't exceed two hours, I will wake up with sweats all over me because I have a nightmare. I am always scared of sleeping at night until Jim came along.

Jim understands my silence even when I don't say anything to him, even when I did not tell him about my fears and pains at first. He knew something was wrong with me. I was traumatized by my parent's death. It instills fear of the unknown in me, fears that I might also die and join them. 

Years later, I felt like joining my parents but when I fell in love with Jim, I knew there was something to hold on to, so I stopped wishing for death.

The first day Jim and I spent the night together, I had a nightmare and I scared the shit out of him with my screams. When I realized he was beside me, I was scared he would run away because of what I did but I was surprised when he pulled me closer and consoled me as I burst into tears. He told me everything was going to be fine, I did not want to believe him until I noticed everything was going fine with him by my side. 

Jim and I spend most of the night together and whenever he has something to do, he slips away in the dead of the night when I am fast asleep.

I find comfort in sleeping in his arms, on his chest, or beside him. I find peace and happiness with him. But now that he is gone, I wonder how I will cope with everything happening to me. Grandma is the only one I have now.

I feel I can't cope without him. Jim needs to come back home. I need to make him come back. I don't care whether he has the money he is desperately looking for or not, all I want is him alone. 

We can live our lives without money, can't we?

I pick up my phone without thinking and dial his number. My hands are shaking and my body is trembling with excitement that Jim will listen to whatever I say to him and he will be back for me.

The phone rings continuously but he doesn't pick up. I almost get tired of calling as I stare at his number going into voicemail. I stop calling and went to check our pictures together. Some of the pictures are making me laugh with tears streaming down my eyes. 

I am still checking the pictures when his call comes in. I hastily pick.

"Jim", I cry. He keeps quiet, as more tears trickle down my cheeks.

"Are you crying?" He finally ask with a calm voice.

I shake my head as if he is here watching me. "No."

"You are crying, Harley. You need to stop this. You are making this hard for us. I will be home soon, Harley."

"I love you, Jim. Please come back home."

Silence creeps in.

"I lost my job", I mutter with deep wrenching sobs.

"What? What happened?" He questions but I did not answer.

"Harley", he calls.

"Please come back home, I need you back home Jim", my eyes are tightly closed.

He is silent for a while as if contemplating whether to come back like I want or not. I am hoping he will say yes and come back to me. This is the only way I can survive all of this. I may be strong on the outside but I am emotionally sensitive when it comes to things like this.

"No."

"What?" My eyes open impulsively.

"I can't, Harley. I'm sorry."

"What? Are you crazy?"

"Harley, you need to understand me......"

"What is there to understand, you idiot?" I question angrily.

He sighs deeply. "I am doing this for us. Grandma needs money for surgery....."

"Did I tell you I can't pay for her surgery?"

"Even now that you've lost your job?"  I didn't reply. He is mocking me for losing my job and it angers me more.

"Now that you are jobless, how do you want to save up for grandma's surgery? Have you thought of that? We have to be realistic with each other."

"I don't need your goddamn money," I scream.

I hear him sigh.

"Are you coming home or not? I don't need your money. You are only doing this for your stupid ego." I am losing my patience. I can't help but shout again.

"I am not coming home now. I think we should breakup, you are not letting me concentrate with all of these. I'm sorry, Harley but I need a break.

I can't believe he just broke up with me. I am filled with a pang of disappointment. I don't know why I am expecting so much from Jim when it's obvious he is not man enough. I should have known he will choose to stay wherever he is than come back for me.

"Fuck you. I hate you, get the fuck off my phone." I yell and disconnect the call without waiting for a response from him.

I start to cry again but I am cut short by the ringing sound of my phone. 

Thinking it is Jim, I ignore. The ringing persist and I grab the phone to tell him to fuck off when I see the Doctor's name flash across my screen and I wipe my tears, thinking he is calling me to apologize. I am hoping he will ask me to come back to work and I don't need to worry about finding another job.

I pick up and glue the phone to my ears.

"Doc."

"Harley, the Billionaire is still insisting on sueing us", he informs me. He isn't sounding like the man who fired me angrily a few hours ago.

I squeeze my eyes shut in dismay.

"Harley, are you there?"

"Yes", I reply. 

Maybe I should swallow my pride and apologize to him. I want to be selfless. If he sues the hospital, I know it will be hard for the hospital to get back on its feet once again. I want to be selfless so Anita and the others won't lose their job. 

Perhaps, I might be called back to work if I apologize and that will stop me from worrying and wallowing in self-pity.

"He isn't demanding an apology anymore", he declares, as if reading my mind and I arch a brow in confusion.

If he doesn't want an apology, then what does he want?

"What does he want?" I find myself voicing out my thoughts.

Silence ensues and I am about to ask him again about what the egoistic man wants when he blurts out.

"He wants you to…" He trails off.

I hear noises from the background and within minutes, I hear the arrogant man's voice.

"I want you to be my personal nurse to pay for your crazy acts", he proclaims arrogantly.

It takes a while for the announcement to process fully and when it does, I exclaim loudly in disbelief.

 "What the hell!"