Chapter 4

Zara's POV.

I knock on the Edwards door and wait for someone to answer. The door opens revealing Aunt Melissa- Lucy's mum. She is looking beautiful as usual. She had her hair down, her hair is red in color and it is bum length. I wish I can let my hair grow out like that but... I really can't go through the stress of combing it out.

"Hi Aunt. Is Lucy home? " I ask her, my voice hoarse from crying.

"No, she went for a shoot. Is everything okay, Zara?" She asks her hazel eyes filled with worry.

I open my mouth to answer her but I let out a sob instead. 

"Oh Zara, come in." She grabs my hand and we walk inside together. We enter the kitchen and she pulls out a chair for me to sit. She then started preparing a cup of hot chocolate. I know that because that is like a routine here. She always make me hot chocolate anytime I come around.

She place the cup in my front when she finished making it. 

"What is going on, Zara?" She asks taking the seat beside me.

"I am getting married Aunt." I whisper.

"Uhmm... That is a good thing right?" She asks unsure and I shake my head.

"It is not a good thing aunt. I don't love him and... He...he doesn't even love me too. I don't know his...his likes and dislikes... I don't even know how he takes his coffee, I don't know which side of the bed he prefers, I don't know what makes him ticks...I..I don't know anything about him aunt.." 

Apart from the fact that he likes sex.

I bury my face in my palm and then cue in the waterworks. I barely register the sound of the chair scraping against the tiled kitchen floor until Aunt Melissa pulls me into her arms. I rest my head on her shoulders and let it all out. 

"You will be okay, Zara. Everything will be fine." She whispers patting my back soothingly. 

Everything won't be fine.

I stop crying after a while. I feel like o have cried my eyes dry and I am pretty sure I have no tears left to shed. I pick the glass of hot chocolate and take a gulp.

"Do you want me to talk to your father, Zara? " Aunt Melissa asks after a minute of silence.

I shake my head. My dad doesn't like when we involve other people in our family matters, it makes him mad and I really don't want to make him mad at me. The Edwards are like family to us but still.

"You don't have to worry aunt. I will be fine." I say and she nods her head.

"If you ever need someone to talk to or if you need help with anything at all, remember that I will always be here for you." She says squeezing my hands firmly. 

I smile at her "Thank you Aunt."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I push the door to my house open and walk in with Neo walking behind me. He has been keeping his distance since I came out of the hotel with tears in my eyes. I remember the panic in his eyes when he saw me crying. I know I am not supposed to show any form of vulnerability in front of my bodyguard but I was far too gone at that moment and I couldn't hold my tears. 

"Where have you been, Zara? I was so so worried..." My mum says.

"Worried that I would run away too?" I ask her and her face drops. I know I wasn't supposed to say that but I just can't help it. 

"That is not it, Zara... " She starts.

"I won't be able to run away even if I tried." I tell her.

She takes in a deep breath and nod her head slowly.

"Dinner is ready." She whispers before leaving me standing by the door.

I sigh and follow her to the kitchen. I shouldn't have said what I said but it feels like I don't have control over myself anymore.

"I'm sorry ma. I didn't mean to...hurt you." I say wrapping my hands around her waist and rest my head on her shoulder. 

"I'm just stressed, worried, sad, everything. I am so sorry for taking my frustration out on you. Please forgive me Ma." I apologize. 

"It's fine Zara. I totally understand and I am so sorry that I can't be of any help. I feel like I have failed you as your mother, I can't even do anything to stop the wedding and I..." She says while running her fingers through my hair.

"You don't have to apologize ma. I know you would have stopped this marriage from happening if you could." I reply nuzzling her stomach. 

"I feel so powerless, Zara. I can't even help my own daughter and I... I feel so useless." She mutters the last part but I heard her anyway. 

I pull away from her and cup her face in my hands. I kiss her cheeks and then her forehead.

"Don't call yourself useless ma. You are not useless, you are my mum and whether you are able to stop the wedding or not... You are still my mother and I love a whole lot. Nothing could ever change that." I tell her and I can see the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Oh come on ma, don't cry. I don't want to see tears in your eyes ma." I tell her wiping away the tears that had managed to escape. 

"I love you too, Zara and I am not crying. I think something got in my eyes." She says chuckling lightly. 

"So... What is for dinner?" I ask her.

"Guess." She says her eyes twinkling with mischief. 

We do this all the time.

"Did you make my favorite?" I ask her  grinning from ear to ear. 

She nods "Yes, I did." 

"You made Naan?" I ask even though I already know the answer.

"Yes and Chutney." She says smiling at me. I throw my hands around her and hug her tightly, squeezing the hell out of her.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you so much Mummy." I squeal. I always call her mummy anytime I get overly excited. 

What? I love foood.

"I expected you to be happy but I didn't think you will be so..." She says.

I pull away from her and smile at her before smacking a kiss on her cheeks.

"I am just going to freshen up real quick and I will be down here before you know it." I tell her before running up the stairs to my room. I could hear my mum laughing at me but I really didn't care.

We are talking about frigging Naan.

After crying my eyes out this afternoon, I finally decided that I wouldn't shed any more tears over getting married. I came to the conclusion that I would just have to marry Jason. It doesn't matter whether I am married or not, I will still do the things that make me happy. I don't have to be unhappy just because I am married.

I shed off my black gown and pull on my Mickey mouse pyjamas.

Yes Mickey mouse. I might be twenty two but I still love Mickey mouse.

I walk into the bathroom and wash my already smeared makeup off then I remove the pins holding my hair together. I finger comb my hair and rest my hands on the sink looking into the mirror.

You gat this Zara. What is the worse thing that could happen after getting married to Jason?