༺RAYNE༻ Where's Liam? Why hasn't he come back for me yet? I'm tired of sitting in this cold, almost empty windowless room filled with strangers with guns and uniforms. This place is basically a fortress of steel and stone. I should be safe, I should feel comfortable but I'm not. And that's because it's missing the one person I need. The one person I always turn to, the one person that makes me feel truly safe and loved. When I'm with him, I'm at peace and everything feels right, like I'm home, like I'm exactly where I'm meant to be. The world outside recedes when he's by my side. And in his arms, nothing else matters, no harm can come to me when he's near. I love him so much and I miss him. He's been gone the whole day, it's eating away at me. I don't even know what the time is but I can tell it's late in the night. Where could he have gone? Where is he? I'm getting worried sick! The doors open abruptly and I stand up, my heart leaping. I was hoping to find Liam striding in but
༺RAYNE༻ “Not for long.” “Not for long.” “Not for long.” With just these three words, Liam ripped out a chunk of my soul and delivered an icy blow that has left me stunned for almost an hour. We've arrived at the penthouse in Manhattan but all I can think about is what Liam meant by those words. When I asked him about it, he didn't respond. He just kept driving and driving until we got here. I couldn't press on. I just felt numb, so numb I was afraid if I opened my mouth again I'd have broken down right there and then. And I didn't want that. It's bad enough that Liam's giving me the cold shoulder, no, the frozen tundra of indifference. The last thing I want is to break down in front of him and let him think that I'm fragile and completely dependent on him emotionally. Even though it might be the truth and that terrifies me. “Go take a shower,” Liam gruffs. It sounded like an order rather than a gentle suggestion. This is getting too much for me to bear. I stride in front of
༺RAYNE༻ Last night, I had a dream, a nightmare. I was tied to a crumbling, old throne in a dark, foggy room, with Liam and Vesper standing on opposite sides of me. They both had cruel smiles on their faces and they took turns whispering in my ears. “You'll never be mine,” Liam sneered over and over, clutching and tugging at my hair. Vesper, on the other hand, repeatedly caressed my arm and fondled my boobs. “You'll always be mine,” he chuckled. My skin prickled at his touch and I struggled against my bindings, trying to break free. But the more I fought, the tighter the ropes around my wrists seemed to become. When Vesper ripped my dress off me and slipped his hand in between my thighs, the room shifted and I suddenly ended up in a maze. I saw Liam standing afar off so I rushed to him but he started running. I chased after him, my bare feet pounding the cold, damp ground. But no matter how fast I ran, Liam's figure remained out of reach. He kept disappearing around the next corne
༺RAYNE༻ This is even worse than my nightmare! Liam is asking me to leave? As in, pack my bags and get out of his life? For good? Is he actually suggesting that I walk away from him, from us, from everything we've been through together? Is he really asking me to give up on us, on our love? To leave behind the only home I've known with him, the only place where I've felt truly loved and accepted? The mere thought of it is suffocating and unbearable. I can't imagine it. “You're... You're asking me to leave?” I repeat in a breathy stutter. “Liam, you know that's not what I want. Why are you doing this?” Liam dips his hands in his pockets and looks away for a brief moment. “You're the one who said you couldn't take it anymore. What did you expect me to say? You want me to beg you to stay? I won't do that, Rayne. This is who I am. This is how I am. You either accept that or you walk away.” “No!” I shake my head. “This isn't how you are! This isn't you! You're the man who held me all ni
༺RAYNE༻ We've been seeing about that, all right. Weeks have passed and I thought Liam was going to get over his guilt or whatever demons that drove him to push me away, to ask me to leave. But no, this has continued for weeks, with no signs of stopping. He’s tried almost everything in his book to make me leave, from silent treatments to harsh, hurtful words. But each time I held my ground. And then, he decided to do something really unexpected: he started making himself unavailable to me. Whenever I tried to touch Liam, he would dodge away from my touch as if I were carrying a plague. It was as if I had suddenly become invisible to him. He would spend most of his days in the study—a place I’m no longer allowed to go to—locked away, working on God knows what. But I kept persisting and stole a kiss from him when I managed to catch him in the hallway that led to our bedroom one morning. I snuck up on him, pressing my lips against his in a soft, delicate kiss. For a split second, I fe
༺LIAM༻ Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I curse under my breath and punch the door as soon as Rayne walks out of the study. God, why is it so hard to let her go? Why does it kill me every time I push her away despite knowing it's for her own good? Why does the thought of her leaving me feels like a fate worse than death? Every ounce of my being screams for me to go after her, to take her into my arms and never let go. But I have to fight this feeling. I have to make her believe that I don't want her, that she's better off without me. She needs to hate me. It's the only way to keep her safe. But the more I drive her farther away, the more I wonder: Am I doing the right thing? Keeping her safe is the right thing to do but is pushing her away really the only way to keep her safe, or am I just using it as an excuse to punish myself for my past failures? Every moment without Rayne is torture and every second I spend not holding her in my arms is like a dagger to the heart. And the worst part? I kno
༺LIAM༻ It's been a whole day since Rayne caught me with that woman and I've been expecting her to pack her bags and leave or confront me again. But the silence from her side of the mansion is deafening and it's driving me mad. Is she okay? I wonder if she's even eaten or slept properly since. The last thing I want is her health to be compromised because of my actions. I can’t stand the thought that she’s not taking care of herself or that she’s suffering physically because of the emotional pain I’ve caused her. I've already damaged her so much already. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I broke her completely or beyond repair for the sake of keeping her safe. The irony stings; my desire to protect her has only brought her pain—something I'm trying so hard to spare her from. Tired of sitting around in my study and waiting for Rayne to make her next move or for some sign that she's okay, I get up and make my way to our bedroom. Well, it's her bedroom now. I need to see her,
༺RAYNE༻ “I have a date!” I make sure Liam hears the excitement and smugness in my voice, letting him know I'm moving on and he's the last thing on my mind. Yup, I'll keep telling myself that until I believe it. And maybe one day, I will. I notice how Liam's mouth hangs slightly open and he struggles to seal it back. For once, he looks like a fish out of water. It's good to know that I caught him off guard by my sudden move, a move that I bet he never saw coming. Let's see how he reacts when he finds out who my date is. “A date?” Liam's tone is bitter as his eyes inspect the car. “Who's the unlucky bastard?” Oh, that's the best part! I reply with a deliberate sweetness, revelling in his obvious discomfort, “I could tell you but I'm sure you wouldn't like the answer.” And he sure doesn't. The minute the chauffeur I've been expecting steps out of the car, Liam grits his teeth and his face turns into a lovely shade of livid. He recognizes him. Good. Now, I don't have to spell it ou