When Alex is looking at me like that, there's only one thing I can think of to say."Thank you," I tell him softly. "For everything." Suddenly, I need him to hear it again. To know how grateful I am for all of this - and for him."I've told you before, Mae," he replies. "You don't need to keep thanking me.""Yes, I do." I twist my hair in my hand. "And I'm sorry for all the times I've teased you about your suits or your cars or about how different your life is now.""Mae," he says, "I've known you a long time. I know when you're actually upset about something and when you're just playing around with me. If I didn't enjoy it, we never would have been friends in the first place.""You're far too understanding.""No, I just need someone to keep me grounded. You were right before - I've come a long way from that Haverton kid.""That's not a bad thing.""It is if the people back home don't recognize me anymore.""They recognize you," I insist. "We recognize you. You don't need to f
Sometime later that night, we're both trying to pretend like everything's normal again."What would you like for dinner?" Alex asks me.I shrug. "I could eat anything.""I don't have much food here. But there are some nice places within walking distance.""What do you mean by ‘nice'?" I ask. I glance down at my T-shirt and jeans. "I'm not sure I brought the proper wardrobe for the restaurants you're used to. I don't suppose you'd be down for ordering a pizza? There must be some good pizza places around here.""Actually, I don't know," he says. "It's been a while since I've had pizza."I eye him suspiciously. "How long is ‘a while'?"He shrugs. "A year or two."I gape at him. "A year? How have you survived that long without pizza?""There are plenty of delicious places - ""Back in high school, I once saw you eat two large pizzas all by yourself. You love pizza. And now you're telling me that you haven't had pizza in a year? When you live in the pizza capital of the world?""
Alex looks at me expectantly. I feel like I need to say something."It's too late for me," I tell him. My hand stills on the guitar strings. "I mean...well, I've made my decision, and I'm fine with it now. I don't think I would have been suited to that sort of life anyway." My eyes drift around the room. "I'm not sure I could have done this.""This?"I gesture at the room around us. "Come to a big city all by myself. Lived in a place like this. Faced the great unknown. I mean, I went to college thirty miles from the town where I grew up. And moved back within a mile of my parents the moment I graduated. I can't imagine myself doing what you did. Not everyone is that brave."His eyes search mine, but I can't tell what he's thinking. I used to always know what he was thinking, but not anymore."You're brave too, Mae," he says finally.I snort a laugh. "Not this kind of brave." I mean, the main reason I'm even here right now is that I'm not brave enough to face the people back home.
The tension stretches between us, strange and thick. Abruptly, Alex stands up."I was thinking I might shower while we're waiting for the pizza," he says. "You're welcome to use the guest bath if you'd like.""Thanks," I say, both stunned by and a little grateful for the sudden end of our conversation.Alex goes to his room, and a few minutes later, I hear the shower come on.So much for pretending that everything's fine, I think. One minute we're the best of friends, and the next, everything gets weird again.I should probably shower, too. The drive here took only a few hours, but I still have a bit of road trip stink on me. Before I clean up, though, I need to call my parents. I promised I'd check in when I got to New York safely.I reach into my pocket for my phone, but there's nothing there.Hm. I could have sworn it was in my pocket. I set my guitar aside and go over to my purse, but my cell isn't in there either.I frown, scanning the apartment. Have I used my phone since
For a moment, neither Alex nor I move. I think we're both too stunned - and I'm still gasping for breath. When I begin to feel the pain in my side, though, I twist, and that only makes things worse. I end up on my back, with him still on top of me.Instantly, thoughts of the Night That Shall Never Be Mentioned - which, I suppose, should now be called the Night We Had to Talk About but I'd Like to Forget Now - come rushing back. He was on top of me just like this. His muscles were pressed against me just like this. His breath washed across my cheek just like this.On that night, though, at least he was wearing boxers and an undershirt. Now he's only wearing a towel, a fact that I'm all too aware of. My hands are braced against his damp chest, his skin smooth over the hardness of his muscles. I can feel his heart thumping madly beneath my fingertips.He's staring at me, still looking a little shocked and confused by my appearance outside of his bathroom door, and I realize that I owe
I dart back into the living room and over to the elevator. Next to the doors is a panel with several buttons on it, including one that's flashing and says "Entry" above it. I hit the button, and a moment later I hear the elevator moving, bringing the pizza guy up to us.Not even an hour ago, I was excited about trying some authentic New York pizza. Now, though, I can't even think about food.I saw Alex naked. Felt him naked. Wanted him to stay on top of me and - No. I am not thinking about this.I'm still so stunned by the whole thing that when the elevator doors open, I stare at the pizza guy for a full minute, unable to form a sentence."I, uh, have your pizzas," the guy says. "That'll be thirty-seven sixty."Right - money. I need to find my purse. Need to pay for the pizzas. Need to do anything but think about my best friend's penis.I spin around, trying to remember where I left my purse. But before I can move, Alex emerges from his room, dressed in a T-shirt and jeans with
That night, unsurprisingly, I find it impossible to sleep. I finally drift off just as the sun is rising, and I don't wake up again until sometime late in the afternoon.Way to waste your first day in New York, I think. I quickly get dressed and head out into the living room, only to find myself alone in the apartment.There's a note from Alex on the fridge:I have a full schedule today, so I probably won't be home until late. Feel free to help yourself to anything in the fridge. If you want to explore, Victor can provide you with some maps and suggestions.Best,AlexGreat - I slept the whole first day away and Alex is avoiding me. My big New York adventure is off to a great start.I heat up some leftover pizza and try to figure out a game plan - anything to take my mind off of what a mess I've made of things. I do end up going downstairs to talk to Victor, but in the end, I decide to save my explorations of the city until tomorrow so I can make a fresh start of things. I use o
In the kitchen, I find a cup in one of the cabinets. I don't dare use the ice dispenser on the door - far too noisy - and instead open the freezer and reach right into the ice machine itself. I grab several ice cubes, dump them in my glass, and quickly close the freezer.Then nearly drop them, because suddenly there's a figure beside me. Alex.He looks just as surprised to see me out here as I do him."Is everything okay?" he asks. "Did you need something?"The first thing I notice in the dim light is that he isn't wearing a shirt. I don't look lower to see if he's wearing pajama bottoms, or at least boxers - it's far too risky, and I'm not sure how I'd react if I found out he slept nude. And then I remember that he asked me a question.Which, I realize as my fingers tighten on the glass in my hand, I can't possibly answer honestly."I...just needed some ice," I say. To help turn me on. So I can touch myself. Oh, God, this is the worst."For your head?" he asks. "Did you need an
Alex doesn't question my feelings any further. Maybe he finally sees the truth in my eyes, or maybe, like me, he's realizing that the time for talking is over. His mouth finds mine again, and then he's moving, thrusting, joining us in the way I believe we were always meant to be joined.My body seems to move with his in perfect harmony, my hips matching his rhythm. My hands dig into his back, spurring him on. I'm sure I moan, and whimper, and beg, but honestly, my whole attention is on him. My entire world has narrowed down to the man inside of me. My entire being seems to cry out for him - body, heart, and soul.It isn't long before I feel the pleasure building inside of me, feel the tightening in my core around him. He must feel it, too. He grabs one of my arms and pushes it back against the pillow beside me. Laces his fingers through mine. His face falls to my neck."Alex," I croak when I feel the peak coming.He seems to know exactly what I need. He pushes himself deep, deep in
As Alex carries me into his bedroom, I smile and kiss the side of his neck. "I hope we'll have plenty of chances to do it everywhere else in this apartment, too."He chuckles, and the sound rumbles through his chest. "Oh, I intend to take advantage of that, I assure you. Maybe we'll try the kitchen counter next - ""Or the rooftop patio?" I offer."Absolutely." His smile is wolfish. "Or maybe the shower - ""Yes," I say breathlessly.When we reach the bed, he lays me gently on the comforter before reaching for his nightstand drawer. I stretch out, looking up at the ceiling. This is it. The point of no return. Alex and I are about to have sex.Needless to say, I don't think our "friendship" will ever fully recover. In fact, I don't know if I'll ever describe Alex as just my friend ever again.I'm not going to lie - part of me is still freaking out about that a little. But it's the good kind of freaking out, the kind that makes me feel like I might burst into a thousand pieces. I
Alex's question dangles there, like a raindrop frozen in midair: "How do you feel, Mae?"How do I feel? How do I even begin to put my answer into words?So instead, I tighten my grip on his shirt and pull his face down to mine.Sensation explodes through me the moment our lips meet. Something must happen for Alex too because I can almost feel the exact moment when his restraint breaks.One moment, we're kissing on the street corner. The next, he's yanked me hard against him. His arms are so tight around me that it hurts, but I don't care. I want to be even closer to him. Want to give myself over completely to the fire burning through me.He crushes his mouth against mine, devouring me. I moan against his kiss, and he sinks his tongue deep between my lips as if he would taste every last bit of me.I cling to him, fighting the wave of emotion that sweeps through me. Alex loves me. Alex loves me and he's kissing me and - He pulls his mouth away from mine."Mae." This time the wor
"Tell me what's wrong," I urge Alex.But he just shakes his head. "I'm fine, Mae."It's clear from the stiff set of his shoulders that he's anything but."Where did you go?" I ask him. "Why did you come out here? I was worried."He runs a hand through his hair. "I just needed to walk. To think.""About what?"He shakes his head. "Don't do this, Mae.""Don't do what? I'm just trying to understand.""There's nothing to understand," he insists. "I'm fine. But we're both getting soaked out here. Come on, let's go." He starts out into the rain again without pausing to see if I might follow."Wait!" I call after him. I catch up with him and grab his arm. "Please, Alex. Please - just tell me what's going on. I want to fix it. I want to make things right between us again." I have to talk pretty loud to hear myself over the rain. "Your friendship is everything to me."He doesn't look at me, but in the glow from the streetlights, I can see him struggle with himself before answering. "T
When I get outside the building, I still don't see Alex.I turn desperately to the doorman. "Did you see where Mr. Grant went?""Just down the block, miss," he says, pointing. "Didn't tell me where he was going, though."I don't stop to think. I just run down the street in the direction he indicated.Even though it's getting late, there are still a lot of people out and about. I try to spot Alex on the sidewalk ahead of me, but I don't see him anywhere.Frantic, I keep searching. I look down side streets. Glance inside the handful of restaurants and convenience stores I pass. After several blocks, there's still no sign of him.Where the hell did you go? I stop on the corner and turn, looking around me in every direction. Would he have jumped into a cab? Walked back into the park? If I'd been smarter, I would have thought to grab my cell phone before running out the door after him. But it's too late for that now.I'm not sure how long I wander the blocks around his building. I wa
I can't even wrap my head around this. One moment Alex was practically feasting on me, and the next he was ready to call the whole thing off. What sort of guy does that - or, more accurately, what sort of guy does that two nights in a row? What horrible, shitty game is he playing?One thing's for sure - I'm not playing along any more. I storm across the room, ready to throw open the door and bring the ceiling down around his head, but I freeze when my hand touches the doorknob.None of this makes sense. As much as I'd like to give him a piece of my mind, what I'd really like to know is why. Why would he tell me he wanted this, bring me to the brink and back - twice - and yet not want to go any further? I mean, unless he's one of those guys who cares only about pleasuring his partner - and let's be real, I'm not even sure those guys exist - something really weird is going on. He seems to very much enjoy having his hands and mouth all over me - hell, he said he'd thought about it a tho
There's something strange in Alex's voice. Something I don't understand."Alex...?" I say, but before I can ask him what's wrong, before I can figure out what he means by that comment, he buries his face between my legs.And sensation explodes through me, overwhelming everything else.He doesn't give me a chance to think. To do anything but react to the sensual prowess of his tongue. I writhe beneath him, moaning, and his hands press down against my thighs, trying to hold me in place.I should tell him to stop. Ask him to tell me what's wrong. But I can't seem to find the words. Everything in my awareness has narrowed down to this: to him, to his warm wet tongue, to the energy passing between us. It's electric, and it makes me dizzy. I can only cry out as the pleasure builds in my core, as Alex brings me quickly over the edge.My fingers grip his hair, tangling in the thick strands. I feel myself unraveling again, feel the whole world crumbling around me. His tongue is everywhere
I can't believe that Alex is calling himself an idiot."What's that supposed to mean?" I ask him, my heart beating in my throat. "Why are you an idiot now?"He straightens his shirt, not seeming to notice that half of his buttons have come undone. "Let's get back to my place. I think I'm ready to clean up and relax for a bit.""You have a real knack for ignoring my questions, you know that?" I say lightly."And you have a real knack for asking questions that are very difficult to answer." He extends his arm to me. "Come on."I hook my hand through his elbow. "I thought you said you like that I always said what I meant."He glances down at me. "That doesn't mean I always have answers for you."I spend most of the way back to his place trying to figure out what he means by that.When we get to his place, he pulls out his phone. "Are you hungry? I can order something.""I'm still stuffed from those cannolis," I say. And so confused about everything that's happened this evening th
My heart stops.Alex pulls his face away from mine, and behind him I can see the dark silhouette of a man."Now!" the man says. "Or I'll shoot!"Oh, God. He has a gun against Alex's back. My stomach tightens and panic wells up in my chest. What do we do? How do we get out of this?I need to call for help. Need to let someone else know that we're down here and that we're being - "Scream and I'll shoot," the man snarls, somehow guessing my thoughts. "One sound and I'll blow out your boyfriend's brains."Oh, God. What do we do? What the hell do we do?Alex still has his fingers laced through mine against the wall, and he squeezes them gently. I have no idea how we're going to get out of this, but somehow, that small gesture calms me."I'm going to reach for my wallet," Alex says, and I can't believe how calm he sounds. "Okay?""Do it fast," the man says. He looks over his shoulder, probably trying to make sure that no one is coming.Alex releases me then drops his hand to his p