Substitue Despair

A strange sense of shame flowed through me, after spending so many years as this woman’s “substitute”. Tara walked up and smiled gently. “You’re an assistant in the CEO’s office, right? Was it Taya?” I tried to calm my pounding heart, lowered my head, and nodded. “Yes, that’s right, Ms. Thorin. Nice to meet you, Taya.” Tara looked at the time on her watch. “ I’m going to hold a board meeting in half an hour.

Can you make me a coffee and bring it to my office? I need a little pick-me-up.” I was a little hesitant. Griffon was still there, after all. But I hadn’t resigned yet, so I had to do whatever Tara asked. I had no choice but to nod, thinking I would ask Brielle to bring the coffee to my place. “Thank you. Tara walked out with her head held high, the textbook image of a confident, powerful she-wolf. Her self-assurance and brilliance were a stark contrast to me. I was a counterfeit Tara. Useless, something to be discarded once the real thing was attainable. I stood there motionless for a while before I collected myself, exited the bathroom, and went straight to the break room. I made a coffee and went to ask one of the others to take it to Tara’s office. However, they had already been called upon to perform other tasks, so I had to deliver them myself. Timidly, I knocked on the office door. “Come in, please.” Tara’s gentle voice came from inside.

After taking a deep breath, I summoned the courage to enter. When I opened the door, I saw Tara sitting on Griffon’s lap. Although I was mentally prepared to see Griffon, I hadn’t expected this sight. My hands trembled, and I struggled not to spill the coffee all over the floor. Afraid that the two of them would notice my discomfort, I quickly lowered my eyes and pretended nothing was wrong. Ms. Thorin, here is your coffee.” “Just leave it here, thank you.” Nodding, I put the coffee on Tara’s desk, then turned to walk out. I managed not to look at Griffon once the whole time. After leaving the office, my legs buckled. I leaned against the wall to regain my balance. The way Tara sat so comfortably in his lap… It reminded me of how Griffon would pull me into his lap the same way, how he would position me like that when we had sex. Although Griffon and Tara weren’t doing anything explicit, my mind was flooded with images of them together before, moaning and grinding and making love to each other. I imagined Griffon’s hands touching Tara’s body while she sat in his lap, the same way Griffon had touched me first. No… that wasn’t correct. It wasn’t me that Griffon touched first.

He had definitely made love to Tara in that position, and so many more, long before I ever came along. Because I was just his replacement lover. I pressed a fist against my chest, trying to force my heartbeat to slow, fearful that my weak, human heart would stop. I struggled to return to my desk, wanting to quit as soon as possible. There was no way I could bear to see the two of them so happily in love in front of me every day. My few remaining days on Earth would not be spent watching that. I was afraid I might even lose it and walk right up to Griffon in front of everyone in the office, weeping and asking him why he couldn’t love me like I loved him. After I finished writing my resignation letter, I went to ask Lila to approve it. Lila had never really liked me. She didn’t try that challenging to convince me to stay, and only said a few words before agreeing to approve my resignation.

The whole process would take a month, and I couldn’t leave immediately, so I had to take two weeks of annual leave first. I worked at the Midwest Packs Association for five years, and the annual leave I had was fifteen days. It would make sense for me to take a break before resigning. Seeing that I was rushing, Lila couldn’t help rolling her eyes. “I can approve your leave, but as soon as it’s over you’d better come back and finish your work before your last day.” “Okay,” I replied. Then, I picked up my bag and left. As I hurried out of the company, I saw Roman Starke, Beta of the Starke Pack. He was a well-known creep in Arcadia, and he loved to play with women-regardless of whether they wanted to play, too. I was scared when I saw him walking toward me, a wolfish smile on his face, so I quickly turned around. But Roman was quicker. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his arms. “Where are you going in such a rush, baby?” He lowered his head, leaned close to my ear, and gently blew against me. His warm breath in my ear made goosebumps rise, and I shivered in disgust. I pushed Roman away desperately before I could think about any possible repercussions of resisting a Beta in public, but he held my waist tight. “You smell so good…” He pushed his nose into my hair and inhaled deeply, his hands moving upward to my breasts .While Griffon had always wanted me to smell nothing like myself, Roman’s wolf was the opposite.

Had Roman not been such a creep, I might have actually appreciated that Roman wasn’t trying to make me something else to be attracted to me. I pressed down on his hand and hissed out, “beta Starke, please behave yourself.” “Behave? Why should I? That defeats the purpose of being an Alpha,” Roman said mischievously, nibbling on my earlobe. Roman may have looked unassuming, nothing like most of the other gruff Alphas and Betas in the Midwest region, but he was far worse. I turned my head, disgust shining in my eyes as I looked at him. But Roman didn’t care. In fact, it excited him even more. The more a woman resisted, the more his wolf wanted to conquer her. And the fact that I was so resistant to him turned him on even more.

Everyone knew this about Beta Starke. Though, the fact that I had no wolf to bow down to the dominance of an Beta was probably why it was easier for me to tell him no, although he could kill me with one slash of his paw. Roman lifted my chin with one hand and caressed my cheek with his fingers, letting his claws come out just slightly. “Beta Starke, please. We hardly know each other.” I dipped my head, shying away from his touch. Roman had first targeted me when I went to deliver documents to the Starke Pack a month ago. Since then, he has often come to the Midwest Packs Association offices to harass me under the guise of business. Whenever he met me, he touched me inappropriately or harassment set me with rude words. I needed this job, needed to keep the Alphas and Betas as happy as possible due to my lack of wolf. I couldn’t afford to offend Roman, and so I’d always endured his harassment. But now that I had nothing left to lose, I was no longer afraid of him. Unexpectedly, although I treated him coldly, Roman was not fazed. He gripped my face. Maybe we aren’t close,” he growled, “but if you accepted my Offer to spend the night with me. We could get to know each other much better.” He was persistent, I had to give him that. I pushed him away. The more I resisted, the tighter his grip became. I was sure that the points of his claws would be indents in my skin; hard enough to leave a mark, but not hard enough to bleed. He kissed my cheek, forcefully. The feel of his ice-cold lips on my skin almost made me puke. Just as I was about to punch Roman in the face, I heard a voice behind me. “Griffon?”