It’s times like this that I miss my mom the most — to have a female someone (other than Kiara) to give me advice. But she’s been dead for what feels like ages already.
Eight years, seven months, 21 days, my brain calculates as if by itself.
But no matter how much time passes … the night we found her murdered in our house is not a night I will easily forget for as long as I live.
Neither will I forget the smell of her famous spaghetti bolognese — that’s another secret I keep from everyone … even Kiara. I’ve memorized her recipe and whenever I feel down, I cook myself a bowl of her bolognese. It always does the trick.
It reminds me of the happy moment just as we opened the door, trying to slip in without her noticing ‘cause we were grounded. At that very moment, as I stepped through the door, I was ecstatic — she was making my favorite food and I was starving.
It was a great moment and I wish I could stay right there.
Because, just a second later we froze at the sight of blood on the floor between pieces of broken glass, the room a chaotic mess. I knew something horrible happened … we all knew. Logan grabbed me and we formed a little duo of two scared kids, silently waiting for something we could not even begin to understand. I’m just glad we never followed my older brothers. My memories of her stayed all good, as she was, and were not trashed by images of her dead body.
In one night I lost both parents. Mom died and Dad … I don’t know what happened to him exactly. He could very well be dead too. I never saw him again. But sometimes I imagined him sitting in the back row of our school play, or shouting from the bleachers cheering me on while I was running, or standing proudly in a corner during a prizegiving.
I force my mind back to the present again. Why do I keep recalling the past tonight? But I think I know the answer — Damion. Although we’re talking about Ren my mind keeps drifting.
“If I haven’t fallen in love with him by the end of October, I might dump him and move on,” I eventually answer Kiara.
“Look, you know I don’t believe in the storybook shit … or true love for that matter … but I know you’re looking for that. However, my opinion is that you are looking for it in the wrong place. Or more precisely, with the wrong guy.” Maybe. But the right guy is an asshole. A donkey.
She clicks her tongue when she sees my what-the-fudge frown. What does she know anyway? Ren is my first boyfriend, she knows that. He could turn out to be the right guy … couldn’t he? Maybe my nuclei are just slow. Maybe the BAM moment is still coming.
But I know it doesn’t work that way.
“So are you going to have sex with him?” She seems a little agitated.
“Who? Ren? No.” She rolls her eyes. But she can judge all she wants.
She knows that I want my first time to be special. Yes, I know it’s cheesy, but it’s just who I am. In our senior year, Kiara started dating, Don, and they did it on prom night, like most typical teenagers. But I’m different … I’m waiting for sparks, electricity, love — name it what you want, that special someone who’s going to knock me off my feet.
And Ren is not him. And I don’t think he’ll ever turn out to be my happily ever after.
“That’s rather direct and definite.” Yes. I didn’t even have to think. But if she meant Damion … that I will have to think about for a while … hours … maybe even days. Because of the stupid pumped-up confused hormones — nothing else.
“And it’s got nothing to do with …. oh I don’t know …. some green-eyed bad-ass?”
Now, why would Kiara bring him into the conversation again? I just stopped thinking about him.
“Ug, seriously? He’s like a fungus or something I can’t get rid of. And anyway, he’s bad, mad, and crazy, and I’m officially sure he doesn’t have a heart, at least not a beating one.”
“You’re not still on that vampire train, are you?” I pout. I’m still not convinced that he’s NOT a vampire. I’ve seen TVD more than enough times to know that he has all the makings of one … sexy mysterious guy with alluring not-normal panty-wetting eyes … yeah he checks every vampire box in the book … even the jewelry. No ring. He wears a stud in his left ear — one with some funny blueish stone, that seems to change color. Now if that’s not a magic sun protector thingy, I don’t know what is.
“No, gmf,” I snort out a lie. Kiara is sooo not into fantasy. Like I said … a realist if you’ve ever seen one. She thinks Vampire Diaries is a bunch of crap. She doesn’t like any of my favorite stories. She’s more into stuff like Grey’s Anatomy, The Big Bang Theory, and Suits.
“I just mean he’s not exactly the sentimental affectionate type!” I try to correct my error.
“That’s true.”
Kiara is like my sister … well, technically she’s my adopted cousin. She came to live with Uncle John after her alcoholic mother dived from a five-story building when we were 5. And while her father is still alive, he’s been in jail on a murder charge since forever. At least she can occasionally see him … more than I can say about my dad. I don’t even know if he’s still walking among the living.
I get up and pour some coffee from my coffeemaker in the corner, before settling on the couch at this point. I take my time, slowly sipping my caffeine hit while observing Kiara piling more clothes on the already crowded bed. I swear her garments can fill a whole Target store and more — that’s why half of it is hanging in my cupboard. The kid has a serious problem.
There’s a small knock on the door and Axel’s face peeps in.
“I’m so glad you girls are back,” he says in a joyful voice as he collapses onto the sofa beside me. This past year his delicious swimmer’s body packed on even more muscles … in a very attractive way. And somehow his new cropped hairstyle highlights his profile and those hypnotizing eyes even more than before.
“So how’s the firefighting business?” I ask. He’s a fireman at Fire Station 34. Part of their coastal rescue crew. I guess having an Olympic gold medalist swimmer on the team can’t hurt.
“I enjoy it.” Axel’s never been one for many words. He’s always been the mysterious quiet kid in the corner. But it turns out all the rumors were false. He never killed anyone just to eat his liver. Neither does he glitter in the sun or turn into a beast when the moon is full.
All the marks and bruises he tried to hide under those oversized hoodies were from a rough family life instead. One I still know nothing about — except that he has an older sister, and his mom is still alive. And Uncle John helped him to overcome whatever he needed overcoming. A vandalized boy that grew up in a broken home … a child with no childhood. No wonder he and Jackson are so close.
For the past 10 years, he’s become an inseparable part of our family, since the accident at the haunted house.
“Do you guys remember that haunted house?” he asks out of the blue as if reading my mind. It’s kinda creepy how the boys do that — always know what’s in your mind. Kiara thinks it’s because they’re dysfunctional, I think it’s because their souls are broken.
“Yep, how can we forget,” I say calmly. “Been there, done that, got the scars to prove it.” Kiara broke her ankle and my bicep got impaled by an arrow in that house. I’m not sure what made our teacher more upset, the fact that we were able to slip away without her knowing or the fact that she had to drive us to the hospital.
“Well, just last week we got called there for a fire.”
“It burned down?” Kiara gasps. That would actually be a blessing.
“Nah,” Axel elongates his legs over my lap. “It was a small fire … a hobo fell asleep trying to stay warm.” He stretches out some more. “But you’ll never believe what we found.”
“The demon guard?” I shout out. Kiara rolls her eyes again.
“No,” he titters. “The dispenser that shot out the arrow that hit your arm.” I pull wide eyes and stare at him surprised. “It was empty of course … but still rather amazing to see. We also found some more hidden … eh … mm … security risks. It took us minutes to extinguish the fire but hours to clear the place.”
“I told you guys the place was booby-trapped. Jason Steward was the one who triggered it. He stepped on that loose plate.”
“Didn’t you say back then that Cupid shot you?” Axel giggles softly. Yeah, I did. I also thought I saw a unicorn. And a demon.
“Eh, I was in pain … and not thinking straight.” I know there are no such things as unicorns, but I’m still pretty certain I saw a demon. Or at the very least a very ugly man.
He glares at Kiara.
“Your hole is also still there — the one you fell into. The hobo used it as a toilet. It smells disgusting.” He wrinkles his nose.
“Maybe if I looked where I was going instead of my phone screen, I would not have fallen into that hole,” Kiara tops.
“It ruined my whole athletics career,” she continues. Axel snorts out a laugh.
“Eh, Kiara … you never had any shot at any athletics career … you’ve always been as slow as a sloth,” I sneer. She looks disgustedly at me and then at Axel.
“It’s true … even that fat girl Pink Scarlet won you in each race, and she could not run to save a snail,” he confirms with a big smile.
It’s true. Kiara was the only one slower than that cow — even before she broke her ankle. But Scarlet could wrestle the socks off a bull. Guess everyone has his own thing.
She ponders for a moment.
“Yeah, you’re probably right. I’m more of a brainiac.” She stacks more clothes on the ever-growing heap.
“Come to think of it,” Kiara stops packing, “I still have that video of Jason … where he runs out of the building screaming like a girl, with the rest of our class following suit.”
“It was funny … until it was not,” Axel chimes. “If Damion hadn’t come to help us, you would have been stuck in that hole for a long time.” Until today, I don’t know what he was doing there all by himself. He was not even in the same school. I asked him once, but never got a straight answer — he only said he was visiting. What exactly that means I don’t know. But him visiting a demon would make sense.
“Yeah, he was pretty awesome that day,” I say without thinking, earning me some knowing stares. But it’s true. He jumped into that pit like a ninja, hoisted out Kiara with her broken ankle, and emerged as if he climbed out of holes all the time.
“You had such a crush on him then,” Axel smirks.
“Well, maybe. But I didn’t know back then what an asshole personality he harvested in that beautiful body.” I try to explain. Kiara pulls her eyes at Axel.
Ug, I think I need new friends. Or, at the very least, Logan could definitely do with a new BFF.
“So you didn’t see the gun-wielding demon monster man?” I revert back to the original topic. I‘ve wondered over the years if the ugly face I saw that day still roams around that house. And if he still shoots his shotgun in the air whenever people walk onto his sticky tile floor. I never could figure out what the gluey tacky stuff on the ground was that my sneakers stuck to. And I’m not sure I want to know.
“No ghosts or demons … only the hobo. But he did say he sometimes heard voices on the west side. And he saw flickering lights on the top floor.”
“I knew it!” I shout. “That place really is haunted.” Axel chuckles softly.
“Ug,” Kiara moans, “No matter how much time I put into you, you’ll never change.” She throws the book I was reading at Axel. He stares at the flamboyant romance cover pic.
“Her head is still in the clouds, I see,” he laughs.
Kiara turns her palms up. “Exactly.”
Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes.
“Axel dear, is Damion still such a hunk?” Kiara wiggles her eyebrows at me and I pout.
“Don’t know exactly what a hunk looks like?” Axel’s mouth pulls up to one side.
“Is he still beautiful?” she tries again.
“You don’t get a beautiful man,” he says with a disgusted-sounding voice.
“Ug, never mind. More than nine years of girl talk and you still can’t communicate with your feminine side!” She puts down the lipstick and claps her hands together, making me jump.
“Okay guys, how does this look!” Kiara is wearing a green dress with long sleeves that reaches mid-thigh.
“I think you look great.” I give my honest opinion. Kiara always looks great but she likes to hear someone say it.
“What she said,” Axel sounds rather bored as he stares up at the roof.
“So are you girls ready to be guppy freshmen?” he asks looking as if he’s watching an invisible seventies western, starring Clint Eastwood, on the ceiling.
“I can’t wait,” I answer excitedly. I really can’t. I’m eager to fall back into all the activities I used to do at school. “I need to do stuff again.”
“And what stuff might that be?” he scuffs with big eyes still locked on the ceiling.
“Eh, I want to run again … and dance and ride my horse … maybe join the soccer team … and then there are the frat parties … you know … things students do,” I explain.
“Oh, I see … you’re going to be busy that’s for sure. Are you at least going to have some time for that dimwit boyfriend of yours?” Axel pries. He’s not my boyfriend, not officially, at least. And to tell you the truth, I actually didn’t think about him. I’m not used to dating someone. I just want to experience everything I can while I’m young.
“Talking about Ren, what do you think about this newest relationship?” Kiara asks our friend, ignoring my stare.
“Can you ladies PLEASE keep me out of your love lives?” Axel holds up his hands in defense, “Honestly, I don’t like the dude. But speaking as a completely objective third-party observer with no interest in the matter, I think Ren is a scapegoat because you’re too scared of the devil you secretly want.” Axel pulls an unsatisfying innocent pleading face and Kiara points a finger at him in an I-told-you-so motion.
“What I secretly want is new supportive and sympathetic best friends.”
“With green eyes?” Kiara teases.
“Are you talking about my buddy?” Logan enters the room, followed by the rest of my brothers. I eyeball Kiara for creating a situation before looking into Logan’s gray stare.
“NO!” I say a little too loud, “Eh … why would we be talking about HIM?” Logan shrugs his shoulders.
“Eh … I had a vision that you’re going to fall madly in love with someone with green eyes … " I make up a lie to tease him.
“I don’t fall in love, sis,” my youngest brother smirks and leans his tall quarterback body against the wall. It’s his 21st birthday today and we’re all here to roister with him tonight. But judging by the overly happy expressions, and the smell of alcohol, the boys already started celebrating early.
Luckily there should not be any paparazzi around — Uncle John’s house is like Fort Nox with all the guards outside. Mainly to keep the Blackburn Inc. offices, labs, and production sites safe — they’re on the same property as his home.
Thus, hopefully, for once everyone will avoid controversy and the tabloids. And if we’re lucky, no one will end up in the hospital. Definitely can do without visiting the ER for once. Birthday parties in this family tend to be a little rough and normally end in disaster.
Ilkay’s eyes find mine and I can see he’s worried about something. Nothing new. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty damn sure that one was born worried. He’s responsible, reliable, calm, and clever, and I mean extremely clever, like a certified genius. At the age of 24, he is already finishing his internship, and starting the new year he’ll continue his residency to become a neurosurgeon.
My eyes move over to the twins. Their faces look surreal, opposite carbon copies of the same mold. But as much as they look almost identical, that much do their personalities differ.
Enrique is a super successful international model and actor, who also shares ownership of a nightclub called ‘Inferno’ with Logan. A real playboy and ladies’ man who can wiggle himself out of any situation. He’s a lover and talker who loves to have fun.
Jackson on the other hand, plays hockey for the Sharks — a definite troublemaker badboy with a short fuse — easily pissed off and quick with his fists. And way too observant for his own good.
“We just came to fetch Axel,” Jackson says, “the chef grilled some juicy, fatty, Espetadas.”
Axel jumps up. “Count me in. I haven’t eaten the whole day.”
“Yeah,” Enrique chimes in, “We can go eat and drink while you girls make yourselves pretty for the party.”
“I heard you invited that Ren dude,” Logan pulls a shitty face.
“Yip, and he’s bringing two of his buddies with him, so be nice.” I’m sure one of those buddies will be Jason Steward. And I still don’t like Jason much. Never will.
“I don’t like the guy,” Jackson’s icy cold glare sends a shiver down my spine. I swear he has the devil’s eyes. “He’s an ass.” I stick my tongue out at him. He smirks and winks. It’s so cocky, cute, and unexpected that I’m stunned for a moment.
How do they always do that? It’s as if they know their cheeky cuteness messes up a woman’s clear thinking. Then again, that’s probably exactly why they do it.
Kiara and I have discussed the possibility of there being a secret ‘Hot guy sex training club’ where they teach men how to seduce the opposite sex. Or I suppose the same sex if they’re into that. I wouldn’t be surprised if Boys Educational and Analytical Sex Training — or BEAST for short, in fact, really exists.
And no, I’m not googling over my brother, but I’m not blind and I know that my brothers are far from ugly. They’re all carved from the same block as our father — tall, lean, and perfectly muscled with sexy manly faces, and definitely VIP members of said club. So are their friends.
“Let’s go eat. I’m frickin starving,” Enrique says as they walk away.
“I’m starving too,” I shout after them but they just laugh while disappearing down the stairs.
“It’s good to be a man,” one comments and I fall back onto the sofa. I think I’m really starting to hate men. Or at least the ones I have in my life.
Date = 5 SeptemberPlace = San Francisco (Uncle John’s house)POV - DamionShit, she is even prettier than I remembered, if that’s possible.My eyes immediately found her in the crowd … like they always do. She’s standing between her uncle and Kiara, just mere meters away from me, wearing distressed jeggings that make those sporty legs pop.Combine that with a barely-not-see-through, silky, dirty-pink, off-shoulder shirt, showing just the hint of a slinky black bra that flatters her C-cup cleavage and she’s demanding me to stand up and pay fucking attention.She has great tits. The best I’ve ever seen — full and stiff and just big enough without looking unproportional. I bet they will feel like heaven in my hands.Fuck. I move a little to compensate for the blood flooding a part south of my navel and seriously try to reprimand my cock down before it gets embarrassing. This girl is making it fucking hard not to act on my impulses. Very fucking hard.Her hair hangs loose in soft curls do
Date = 5 SeptemberPlace = San Francisco (Uncle John’s house)POV – MelaenaNot as they seem? Is he trying to claim innocence? How can his affairs, which are plastered over the news every week, by the way, be anything different? I look at his confronting emerald eyes and start throwing ideas through my mind. Did he just tell me not to judge his affairs? Does it look like I’m the judgy type?“I’m not accusing you, but your shenanigans with the female species make for a very convincing closing argument. You could object that I don’t have all the facts, and that’s true, but everybody can witness the evidence of so-called flings in the tabloids and social media. Your face is plastered at least weekly, all over the internet, each time with a different BRUNETTE smiling at your side.”I suddenly wonder what it is with him and dark-haired girls. It’s definitely his type. And I’m definitely not.He rubs his jaw as he studies me from under spiky black eyelashes. He has a hint of stubble like may
Date = 5 SeptemberPlace = San Francisco (Uncle John’s house)POV - MelaenaNot for one moment have I suspected him to be the cause of my curse.Why did Damion do that? Why mess up my life all the time? I swear he’s frozen on the inside … cause no one with a warm heart can be that cruel.I need to get to the bottom of this. He needs to explain.My phone vibrates and I look at the screen in anticipation, hoping just for a second that it’s Damion, before realizing that he doesn’t even have my number. I want to tell him exactly what I think of his threats. Who the fuck does he think he is? I frown when I see a message from an unknown number. I swipe the screen.Private number: Hi Melaena, hope you’re enjoying the partyMel: Who is this?Private number: Call me DMel: What do you want?Private number: Revenge. But mostly I want you!Mel: What?Private number: You belong to me, babe!Mel: Fudge off!Private number: Oh baby, I’m not going anywhere. You are mine.I blink, wondering if maybe t
Date = 5 SeptemberPlace = San Francisco (Uncle John’s house)POV - DamionI glare at the message on her phone. Is this a prank? I dig deep to think of anyone — except me — whose name starts with a D. Fuck. And I’m going away for a few successional races soon, but if she has a stalker I need to do something.Knock. Knock.Someone’s at the door. Fuck. I don’t want to get up. Mel is sleeping peacefully on my chest, making the sweetest sexiest little snoring sound. Almost like a tiny kitten.KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.The person is getting impatient. Fiddling with the handle. I shift Mel gently to the side so I can get up.“Mel?” A voice sounds through the door. “Are you in there?” I cringe on my teeth. It’s the bastardly boyfriend. I unlock the door and swing it open.“What do you want?” I don’t even try to sound halfway friendly. His face contorts. He doesn’t seem to like me very much. Well, the feeling is mutual.“I’m looking for Mel.” He tries to push past me, but I fill the doorway pretty
Date = 10 SeptemberPlace = San Francisco (Paws and Claws Center)POV - Damion“What’s your name?” I ask pushing the frat boy into the tree.“Ben.”“Why were you following that girl?” His brows flip up to his hairline.“Seriously?” he shouts out. “I’m a dude and she’s hot.” I eyeball him, scrutinizing his face for any sign that he might be the D man I’m looking for. He goes bleak and swallows.“I’m sorry. I just wanted to get her phone number,” I let go of the guy’s shirt. He steps away from me. “Fuck. No need to go all psycho crazy, dude.” His tough-boy image cracked, he puffs out his chest a little in the hope of regaining some pride.“Are you going to beat up every guy on campus that looks at her?” Yeah. No. Maybe. I stuff my hands into my pockets and sigh.“You’re going to be busy then, ‘cause she’s one sexy chick.” Suddenly I feel like going all neanderthal again, but I don’t. He’s right. He’s the fourth guy in just an hour. And none of them had a D name. There was Tom, Charles, B
Date = 31 OctoberPlace = San Francisco (paintball place)POV – MelaenaAnother birthday party. Damion’s birthday. 31 October.I wonder who will get hurt this time. At Logan’s party, all my brothers got sick from the STROH rum. But at least no one ended up in hospital.A message comes through just as I’m tying my hair into a braid.D Stalker: Mayday! Mayday! A little actor is dying!I’ve changed his caller ID on my phone so I know when it’s him. I put away my phone. I’m not going to let one crazy coward ruin my life. He’s been sending me messages non-stop since that first time at Logan’s party. Mostly I just ignore them, but it’s starting to creep me out a little. He knows stuff … as if he’s watching me all the time.However, this ‘mayday’ shit is something new. Usually, he just rants on about how I belong to him and that soon we’ll be together.What does he mean by dying … could someone be after Enrique? Would this D guy go as far as to try and kill my brother? He did say that he want
Date = 31 OctoberPlace = San Francisco (paintball place)POV - MelaenaA loud noise judders me to close my ears with my hands. It’s the siren signaling a win. Somebody grabbed a flag. I quickly look over, and then a big smile spreads across my face. Luke is jumping up and down, wildly waving the green flag through the air. I remove my hands slowly, letting them fall down my sides.We won!Jackson stops shooting his brother and Ilkay jumps up from his hiding place and slowly walks over to us with Enrique in tow.“Congratulations.” He intentionally hits Damion on his back, knowing it must hurt like shit. Then he sees the paint marks covering my front and his eyes turn dark. A cameraman is standing close by, recording our win. It must be the one lucky dude Kiara was talking about.“Who the bloody hell shot you like that?” Enrique seems angry and it’s ironic because just a few moments ago he was the one shooting at me.“Chloe went all out killer crazy … emptied her gun on her,” Kiara expl
Date = 31 OctoberPlace = San Francisco (Reaper venue)POV - DamionI think I fucked up again.How is it that I could swirl on two wheels at over 220 miles an hour around a track, but I can’t scrape together enough courage to speak to the one person who means the most to me?“We’re very proud of you, son,” Dad says. Mom just smiles.“Thanks. I love you guys to bits.”“Right back at you, champ.” My father winks at me and leads his wife to their table. They’re sitting with Uncle John, Dean, and some other high-and-mighties that in one way or another, form part of our team.I throw back the cloak of my grim reaper suit, feeling the material scrape against my bruised back, and sit down at my assigned spot at our table, next to Ilkay, all dressed up in bloody scrubs as a mad doctor.“Hey, dude,” Axel, a werewolf, opposite me says, “Nice body paint.” I look down at my exposed torso, professionally painted along with my face, to look like a skeleton, up to where it disappears into some black