Chapter 5 : Are You My Mate?

*Delilah*

I woke up feeling like I’d barely slept at all the night before. Even after I’d managed to fall asleep, I didn’t sleep well. I tossed and turned and woke covered in sweat like every other day. I went through the normal routine of getting ready for the day and walked into the kitchen to grab something to eat on my way out the door.

Dad was sitting at the table, finishing up his coffee before he left for the day. I didn’t say anything to him, grabbing a banana and a granola bar and heading for the door.

“Have a good day,” he called after me.

I shut the door behind me as a reply. I never had good days it seemed, but he was oblivious to that.

I walked down the familiar path, eating as I went. I didn’t want to be back at the school, but hopefully, Kendra would leave me alone today since it wasn’t my birthday anymore.

I walked out of the woods and up the path to the school. Tossing my banana peel in the trash with the granola wrapper, I pulled the door open.

The poster was gone thankfully, with no sign that it had ever been there.

I didn’t know who took it down, but I was grateful to them either way.

I slunk to the back of my first class, sinking into the seat. Everyone filed in and talked amongst themselves, ignoring me, which I preferred, actually. At least when I was invisible, nobody hurt me.

The professor walked in and everyone quieted.

“Today, we’re going to be talking about mates,” he said, turning to the whiteboard and writing the word across the board.

I listened avidly as he discussed that some shifters never found their mates, no matter how long or far they searched. Some found mates and were rejected, leaving a mark on them that others saw and recognized for what it was.

When shifters reached maturity, they began to be able to smell their mates. If they were lucky, their mate could be in that very room. Everyone looked around without glancing in my direction.

I hoped my mate wasn’t there.

My hand shot into the air before I could stop it.

“Yes?” the teacher asked.

I blushed and almost shook my head never mind before blurting out, “What would they smell like?”

I thought everyone would laugh, but they were all too interested in learning about finding their own mates, so they turned to the front, waiting for the teacher to answer the question.

“Great question, Delilah. Your mate will smell like your favorite scents, mixed with their own unique scent.”

He continued to discuss mates and the importance of the bond, how emotions and thoughts could be shared through it, and what it meant for the Goddess to bless us with such love.

I spaced out, wondering what my mate would smell like. I’d reached maturity yesterday. Could I smell him now?

I closed my eyes and drew in deep, slow breaths through my nose, trying to catch even the slight hint of my mate.

Nothing.

I opened my eyes and saw there were only two people left in class. I must have missed the professor dismissing us. Quickly grabbing my things, I slung my bag over my back, and walked into the hall.

My next class was in a remote hallway, so I quickly made my way there, avoiding the main crowds and managing not to run into Kendra and her friends.

I spent the class trying to smell my mate and learned nothing from the class or my efforts. I smelled sweat, fear, and lust, but not my mate.

Maybe I hadn’t met him yet. Maybe he wasn’t part of this pack. I hoped he wasn’t; then I could escape and find my mate, and he’d never know what my life had been like. It would really be better if I hadn’t met him yet.

When the class was dismissed and everyone was almost gone, I followed the last person out, heading to the cafeteria on campus. It had some of my favorite french fries ever, and I was really craving them right then.

I walked in, looking around to see if Kendra was in there. She had the same schedule as me time-wise, so I wanted to make sure I avoided her if she was there.

I didn’t see her and walked quickly to the counter to order fries and some chicken tenders.

After paying, I stood against the wall opposite the counter waiting for my food to be ready, scrolling on my phone.

“Delilah,” the lady behind the counter called.

I shoved my phone into my pocket and grabbed the food from her. “Thank you.”

I turned around to walk out and saw Kendra coming in across the room. As soon as I saw her, she locked her eyes on me and smiled. Standing beside her was Andrew. He didn’t see me. He never did.

She looped her arm through his and pulled him with her as she walked toward me. I wasn’t close enough to the door to flee, so I just stood there waiting.

“Hey, Del!” Kendra called out, her voice dripping in fake happiness. “I’m glad I got to see you. You left so fast yesterday.”

Andrew stood, staring at me with disinterest, but not malice.

“Kendra, I really don’t want to deal with this today. Can you please just leave me alone?”

She sneered at me, letting go of Andrew’s arm to get close to me. I was standing near the bottles of ketchup, mustard, and mayo that sat on a table waiting for anyone that wanted them.

She reached behind me, grabbing a ketchup bottle.

“I just thought you needed some ketchup for your fries, I know you love them together.”

She smiled at me wickedly and started to lift the bottle over my head.

Just then, I got the strongest scent of fresh rain, amber, and a smell I couldn’t place. I dropped my basket of chicken and fries, causing Kednra to leap back.

“What the hell?” she asked.

I didn’t hear anything else though, so I took off in a run, following the scent. I raced down the hall, passed different classrooms, and eventually outside.

I stopped on the large soccer field and turned in a circle, closing my eyes and breathing deeply.

I’d lost it. I kicked the ground in frustration and walked back into the school to finish out the day.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, and I kept off Kendra’s radar by some miracle.

I spent most of my time that day wondering about my plan to run off. The semester was almost over, and things weren’t getting better. I’d saved up a stash of money, and I was ready now. I could run to the next pack and find a place to live and then find a job. I wouldn’t be a rogue, so they might take me to be a lone wolf.

Anything would be better than staying with this pack that didn’t want me.

But then I thought about smelling my mate. I knew I’d smelled him, even if I couldn’t find him afterward. Did I want to leave without finding him? What would it mean to have a mate?

“Okay, class dismissed. Don’t forget, we have a quiz tomorrow,” my last professor of the day said.

Everyone gathered their things and left. I tried to stick to the middle of the crowd this time. It helped at the end of the day because everyone just left. Once I was outside, I could outrun anyone.

I pushed the door open and walked into the fresh air. I breathed deeply hoping to catch my mate’s scent one more time, but I only smelled outdoors and the other normal smells from those around me.

I sighed and walked toward my path, deciding I’d hang out in the woods for a little while and read on my way home.

There was a spot I loved to sit. There were a few fallen logs that had softened just enough that they weren’t hard to lay on.

My mind was drawn back to my mate as I walked.

Could I really find someone who was destined to love me? It seemed so far-fetched after the life I’d had in that pack. I couldn’t believe that there was someone there that would love me the way they said mates loved each other.

But I couldn’t deny to myself that I desperately wanted it. I wanted someone to hug me, someone to say they loved me, someone to kiss.

I was brought back to my nightmares of chasing down Kendra for trying to steal my kids. The thought terrified me, but I also had to admit, it intrigued me. I wanted kids. I wanted the life I never thought I’d have.

I thought about the various guys in the pack who were around my age–not that he had to be. Mates could be any age. There was a couple where the woman was fifty and the man was in his late thirties. Anything could happen.

I thought of Brad, my first crush when I was a child. We’d been friends until Kendra stole him from me. She quickly turned him against me, and I tried not to think about him after that.

Reluctantly, I thought of Andrew standing in front of me, watching as Kendra planned to pour ketchup on me. He didn’t help her, but he didn’t stop her either. The best I could say was that he looked uncomfortable.

He definitely couldn’t be my mate, especially with how attractive he was.

I continued running through the list of people but quickly gave up, crossing every guy off my imaginary list as impossible.

I made it to my spot and tossed my bag on the ground, laying on the log with my book across my chest.

I stared up at the sky, watching birds fly and clouds slowly drift along. I tried to find shapes in the clouds to distract my mind, but it just ran on an endless loop, picking apart every aspect of the mate bond it could.

I opened my new book to chapter one and got three pages in before I tossed it on my bag, giving up. It was pointless. My mind wasn’t going to stop. I put my hands behind my head, staring at the tips of the trees swaying in the wind. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply through my nose like I had so many times that day.

The smell of the forest overtook my senses, and I smiled at the familiar smell of rain on the ground. There must have been a small shower last night. I didn’t catch a hint of the mystery smell from earlier, and opened my eyes disappointed.

Would it be so bad if my mate was part of this pack?