Four

SKY POV

I took the stairs slowly; thanks to the wine, my legs were a little more shaky than I would have liked. 'Lightweight', I teased myself as I reached the top floor and had to use a wall to steady myself feeling weak from the lack of food, sleep and long ass drive. Approaching my old room, I took a deep breath and paused before entering.

"I am not sure what to expect anymore," I admitted to Evie, not expecting an answer; after all, I had been horrid of late. I didn't want to come home, but now I am..." I let the sentence drift off because I wasn't sure I wanted to admit that I found myself caught up in a mix of emotions. I was enjoying the nostalgia, but with it came the pain of betrayal and doubt.

"Maybe Neo has turned my room into a gym. Or a sex dungeon." I mused with a scoff.

"Lord knows he needs some kind of relief," Evie added with a grunt herself.

"Did you just crack a joke?" I asked my usually shy wolf, amusement lacing my question.

"No. I was being serious." She laughed, the sound somewhat comforting in this shit storm I was wading through. Pushing the door open, I was surprised at what I witnessed. No gym, no sex dungeon but a teenagers bedroom. It was like stepping back in time. The dark purple walls were still covered in posters of punk bands I liked back then and still do now. The Sex Pistols, The Clash, Ramones—they all stared back at me, unchanged. My old desk sat cluttered with trinkets and memorabilia, a graveyard of teenage angst. 

"Think I would have preferred the sex dungeon." Evie muttered playfully.

"When did you get a sense of humour?" I asked, looking around as regret washed through my wolf bond. I am teasing Evie." I added, noticing the bedding was new, at least, and the window was open like they were expecting me. Otherwise, it looked like the typical grungy teenager's room.

Collapsing down on the bed, I sighed, trying to shake off the overwhelming sense of nostalgia. But images of Z floated through my head. 

"He is damn hot. I would like to lick him." Evie admitted sincerely, letting me know that this time, she was not joking. 

"Really?" I asked, amused at her quirkiness.

"Yep, I bet he tastes of sugar and honey." She moaned needily.

"I guarantee he is saltier than that." I laughed as filthy memories of me on my knees, tasting him for myself, floated through my mind. "I will admit I am surprised at how attractive he is." I sighed, running my hands over the soft sheets.

"He was fit when you left—he liked to run and hit the gym—but now, Mmmm", Evie droned off. 

"Now he is seriously ripped. 

"Doesn't he remind you of a superhero from one of those Marvel films?" she asked, excited and youthfully flirtatious. 

"Except those guys were good, Evie. Z is no good guy. He is the villain in our story.. remember that." I snapped a little too harshly. With a whine, she disappeared, leaving me to daydream about my villain.

His short-cropped hair was still the same, but his body was a whole different story. Muscles rippled under his tanned skin, and his tattoos, some new and some old, seemed to accentuate his robust frame. The white T-shirt he wore clung to his chest and arms, showing off his biceps and the veins that snaked down to his forearms. His jaw was set, his eyes piercing, and there was a certain ruggedness to him that hadn't been there before. He looked like someone who had been through battles, someone who had fought and won, but at a cost.

"He looks.." I started to admit but found myself cut off by a horny wolf.

"fuckable?" She bounced excitedly.

"No!" I growled, pouting my lips. I could hear her laughter and shake my head; she was my wolf; she knew me well enough to know exactly how I was feeling. "Well, yes... okay.. fuckable.. but I would rather pluck every pube from my pussy than fuck him." I admitted.. or rather lied.

"Okkkkay." Evie laughed before vanishing.

I tried to relax, but I couldn't get the image of him out of my head. Every time I closed my eyes, there he was, looking like a goddamn sexy beast. My mind wandered to the way his mix-matched eyes had lingered on me in the kitchen, the intensity behind them. I hated him for how he made me feel, for the confusion and longing that twisted in my stomach.

"Damn it," I muttered, sitting up. I needed a distraction, something to take my mind off Zeke and everything else. But as I looked around my old room, it felt like there was no escape from the past. Everything here was a reminder of what used to be, of what I'd tried so hard to leave behind.

I stood up and walked over to the window, looking out at the familiar view of the forest and the fields. The packhouse was beautiful, I had to admit that, but it felt like a gilded cage. I was back, whether I liked it or not, and I had to face everything I had run from.

"You know... you could just own it."  Evie laughed, the sound so sweet against the chaos eating at me.

"Own what?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest as I watched the sun cast the fields in a beautiful glow.

"Own that he turns you on... you don't have to want to forgive him, to find him attractive, you know.. he is just a means to an end." 

"You mean?" I asked, my cheeks blushing red from a mixture of anger and embarrassment at her proposition. 

"Scratch that itch, girl. Goddess knows it's been a long day. He has caught you off guard, and that's okay."

"Fuck it, your right." I laughed, knowing I would regret this later.