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23. Cherish
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56
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The Beta's Prize 24. Ivan
Cherish’s face quickly screws up in confusion but I know what I saw. Her iris, normally a pale sky blue, constantly drawing my vision to bathe in the soft pools of colour had pink flecks. Glinting shards, resembling the beauty of a shattered amethyst. There is no way for a human to produce such an effect, it is the spirit of one’s wolf. I know my own eyes have a strong gold tinge to them. Lust, passion and anger, all call a wolf to the fore. Instead of getting to enjoy the warmth of her in my arms and cover her in gentle loving caresses, Cherish suddenly starts pushing me away and scampering across the mattress.“Don’t be silly Ivan,” she huffed, throwing one of my vests over her, so baggy it acted like a dress as she flew to the mirror and stared. “There’s nothing there!” “Well not now you’re crazy-staring into a mirror, but a minute ago,” I said with a lazy smile, still lying on the bed, the pain in my ribs gradually subsiding from her legs being wrapped around me. Shit, I need a
The Beta's Prize 25. Cherish
After Ivan left, I cried, scalding tears of frustration and sadness. Then I spent an age staring into the mirror. There is nothing there, my eyes are their usual placid blue but that’s not why I lashed out. I cannot understand myself. Why did I get so defensive about the idea I might be part-wolf? Would it really be that horrendous? Apart from the obvious psychopaths and villains in this hellhole, and the ones who raided our villages, Martha, Genevieve and Ivan have been just as kind as any humans I know. After all, I'm seeing woodland and even wolves in dreams and oh my god the sparks. None of it is normal, I know this. I’m in so much denial that I’ve gone and wrecked it with Ivan. After he made me feel like I was on another planet with pleasure I have repaid his kindness by making him feel like scum. The guilt is overwhelming. The way his face changed after I lashed out. “I thought you wanted to die,” was burned into my conscience. That was an appalling thing to say. If I coul
The Beta's Prize 26. Ivan
Amid an uncomfortable silence, I strode across the wooden gym floor finding a seat at the back like a naughty school child, Unfortunately that means I am next to a seething Denton. His long black beard was constantly being stroked, twisted and pulled by his fat fingers. While I tried to listen to Vincent’s stats and financial figures I could feel his head was turned and looking directly at me. “What?” I hissed quietly, keeping my eyes ahead. “You’re fucking dead.” “We all are,” I sighed back, “try something new.” “Xavier should be here instead of you.” “Are you missing your bestie? Didn’t think that was your style Denton, unless he was more than that to you…” I found my chair kicked away and I hit the wooden floor with a crash. Denton was immediately above me, his fists smashing into my face. I hardly had the will to defend myself after leaving things like that with Cherish. Kohl stepped up, the red mist descending over my consciousness. By the time I came back to my senses I wa
The Beta's Prize 27. Cherish
Martha left me in the linen cupboard for most of the day. I can’t stand to be anywhere else. The room is the only area with happy memories. The smell of clean laundry, Genevieve's laugh, the complete absence of shifters. I try to mourn for her but I realise I am mourning a ghost. My grief is for the friendship I imagine we could have had. By the time I came out it was dark and Martha was locking up. She gave me a sad smile and wrapped her arm around me. “Tomorrow you can help me, I am sorry for today, it’s been tough losing her when she fought so hard to get through her first month.” We chatted soberly as we headed back towards my room. Ivan would surely be there so I made sure to pull on my gloves before we got back. Martha noticed, but she said nothing, just absorbed it all with her eager brown eyes. I am sure she thought I would be stripping off for Ivan, not adding layers. It was so late by the time I arrived back at the room Ivan was already in bed asleep. Or at least pretendi
The Beta's Prize 28. Ivan
Kohl had wailed at me the instant I withdrew my lips from her soft skin. He was drunk on the sparks, a whirling frenzy of activity in my mind as I softly roamed from up by her ear down to her collarbone. It felt like falling. The more I gently nuzzled and nipped her the more dangerous it felt. Like a tightrope walk, a few more seconds and I would have spun her around and devoured her where she stood. But I can’t. I won’t. I must master my wolf’s urges. Just because Kohl is desperate for me to get closer to her doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. Even though her eyes have that pink sparkle, and her skin seems to taste of red berries. Her wolf is emerging. Which means she is potentially not herself right now. Leaving her standing there in the room and flinging myself back into bed took serious willpower. Every sinew in my body wanted more, but I did it. I proved my point that she is a shifter and here I am alone in bed. My own eyes are blazing in desire, trying to pretend I di
The Beta's Prize 29. Cherish
I woke up in Ivan’s arms, in his huge white bed. Entwined together the sparks were altogether softer when not driven by pure lust. WIth the bright light of dawn forcing its way through the small window I gazed at his face. When sleeping the firmness, the constant pretence he was someone fearsome was gone. His jaw was chiselled, his lips friendly. I knew he could smile, I needed to see it more. His hair, so russet-red, almost like a fox with coppery fiery tones that shone fascinatingly brightly. His eyes might be shut but they were already imprinted in my memory. His lively green, emerald eyes, full of friendly intentions and kindness. Then when they shimmered with gold and all his desires were laid bare. I shuddered in his arms remembering how I had almost heard his control snap when I finally got into his arms again. His face down there, the hungry way he had taken me, it was an intense combination of Ivan and his wolf. Using my femininity to tease him into action was not somethin
The Beta's Prize 30. Cherish
I am back in my dreams, travelling through the woodland. Everything is bright and fresh, the air smells like it has rained. That deeply earthy, pure scent that warms your soul. I notice my feet are bare as I ascend the path, a plain white cotton dress down to my ankles. I have never owned such an item before, yet it seems so familiar. I am walking towards the sun, still low in the morning sky. Unlike my other dreams I can take in every detail. There is a delicate gold bangle on my wrist, it moves along my arm as I walk. Climbing further up the hill I find myself breathing harder, taking in lungs full of the crisp air, but I am not tired. Every breath seems to recharge my energy. Finally, the last few tall pine trees are cleared, and I reach the top of the hill. The grassy space that I have returned to almost every night since being given to Ivan. Ahead of me are pine trees to the west, huge expanses of lakes and valleys to the east. The small brown and white wolf is there too, patie
The Beta's Prize 31. Ivan
I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive myself. Or Martha for that matter. Why the hell was Cherish out there alone? Has everyone lost their minds and forgotten the depraved, psychotic people that lurk around every single door? The guards work here because they are frustrated drunks with gambling debts, the men fight to death here because they have no choice. The ones who do like fighting such as Denton, Shay, Maxwell, and Philo are deviants of the worst kind. Denton appears to have gathered himself a crew of like-minded bastards. He strokes his black beard and tells them the best way to torture an opponent, man or woman and they look on like he is a deity. Death holds no meaning for them anymore, their kicks come only from causing pain to others. All of them are hugely fearsome men, eager to build further muscles through over-eager grunting and lifting in the gymnasium. Seeing as nearly every prize is already dead after less than a week, they have only exercise to vent thei
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The Beta's Prize Epilogue 6: White Forest Ball (Cillian)
Without thinking I shouted “Stop!” causing the cloaked person to sprint. “GUARDS!” I screeched, unable to mind-link members outside of my pack. Why was the entire fucking castle asleep! Sprinting after the cloaked figure I saw nobody else, no guards, not even a servant to help me catch the stranger. Arriving at the huge foyer of the castle, surrounded by flickering torches, hanging tapestries and miserable grey stone walls I had nothing to follow. They had vanished into thin air. All I knew from the build around the cloak was that they were a man, a man wearing long black trousers. Giving up the chase, I headed back to my room, flights of stairs, leading me to nothing but duplicating corridors of arched doorways, presumably student accommodation. The door to my parents’ suite remained open. “Papa?” I knocked softly to no answer. /Cillian, I am so sorry/ Vez said, realising before I did that my world had been knocked from its axis, shattered like porcelain. On the double bed, wrappe
The Beta's Prize Epilogue 5: White Forest Ball (Cillian)
I understood immediately why Papa never took us to many of these charades. Standing there in a pompous white shirt, on display like a prize pig at a fair I was happy to escape with Genevieve into the masses. I wasn’t so happy about Nikolai. We had only met briefly during a few childhood meetings but as a man he oozed anger and resentment. What for, I have no idea, but my sister and her wide eyes clearly thought it was the hottest thing she had ever seen. Silently, from my chosen distance, I watched his charisma overwhelm her, my own heckles rising. /She asked you to let her be an adult, to make her own choices/ Vez urged. Ever since first shifting and Vez came into my world it has been like having two fathers, both eager for me to prosper as Alpha. Our wolf fur was as red and fiery as my hair. I cringed, remembering how Jackson had laughingly called me the Infant Inferno, leaving me furious. Vez however, despite our fiery colour was sage, calming and fair. My papa tried to downpl
The Beta's Prize Epilogue 4: White Forest Ball (Genevieve)
Having to walk in behind my parents I felt like a child amongst women. Despite the stunning dress, the styled hair and jewels I’d been given, the ballroom had a strange feel about it. I felt watched ,studied, but not in the usual way, like at home in Cragstone when crowds gathered. One person’s gaze had me flustered. The smell of burning spice made my eyes widen in fear, urgently seeking out the owner. As though we were in danger of attack, then I saw Nikolai Romanov. He headed up towards our little royal enclosure furtively, as though he was breaking in. He was just as entitled to be there as the rest of us and yet his fearsomely dark eyes were stuck on me. He offered no greetings to anyone else, not even his parents. My heart flipped, what do you do when someone looks so blatantly at you? He wasn’t undressing me with his eyes or anything crude like the silly Kharkov boys. Instead, he was seriously, steadily looking at me as a person. Almost the same age as me, already nineteen and
The Beta's Prize Epilogue 3: White Forest Ball (Ivan)
I know exactly why she is nervous. It’s not ideal and we’ve put it off for so long that it’s brought the formal gold bordered letter from Alexander to force our attendance. They are so young, the twins are barely even adults. If they find their mates tonight there it is more complicated than they realise. For Kharkov’s girls, or Lyon’s boys, when they make their match it will be a simple case of falling in love and finding a place to live and be happy together. Our children, should it be from a rival pack, will see alliances drawn up, decisions taken out of their hands as their parents become a tangle of wants and wishes. Should my beautiful, delicate little Genevieve be drawn in with that dark-haired lout Nikolai, what then? He is the future Alpha of White Forest, as Freya is to live in Rising Star. I would lose my darling girl. I know it is just the mindset of a scared father. I am a proud, happy man, terrified of nothing the world can throw at me. Except for damaging my family'
The Beta's Prize Epilogue 2: White Forest Ball (Cherish)
I gasped at the sight of our intruder. Cillian, my beautiful boy, had somehow transformed into a powerful, charismatic man, his white shirt open at the top showing the sculpted chest he inherited from his father. His coppery red hair had an even fierier tone than Ivan’s, almost sheer red, whilst his eyes had eventually turned blue like my own, despite starting green. He had a strong, masculine jaw and his figure had developed over the past year. He had trained like a beast with Kharkov and Jackson, as if preparing for his mate by getting into perfect shape. “Are we ready to do this parade then?” he grumbled, fiddling with his cufflink, the rasping depth of his manly voice still making me wistful even after years of it breaking. “How has a white shirt made you look this grown up,” I said softly, adjusting the collar of his shirt whilst he towered over me and his father. The squidgy faced little boy who hid behind my skirts clutching stacks of buns he had stolen from Martha was no m
The Beta's Prize Epilogue 1: White Forest Ball (Cherish)
** TWENTY YEARS LATER ** “I cannot believe it has truly been so long since we were last at White Forest,” I murmured, standing in the same suite we had used so many years ago. Back when I shouted at Helena and suggested she had failed Ivan. The four-poster bed and stained glass windows were unchanged. As if we had simply stepped back in time. The sight of the balcony, where I had once stood in only a black cloak for Ivan to devour under the pale blue moonlight made me smile and Halo purr in remembrance. “You are as amazing now as you were then,” Ivan murmured, approaching me with a grin. In his late forties he was getting somehow even more handsome with age. His hair remained the stunning copper beacon I looked for first in every room whilst his frame remained strong, tall and muscular. Although my heart had two other beacons to contend with in Genevieve and Cillian, Ivan’s strength was the tree which my roots had grown around. They had turned eighteen last winter, Ivan insiste
The Beta's Prize 106. Cherish
Although Ivan’s silly trick with the balcony made me laugh, we were soon back in the same glum mood we had left the dinner party with last night. The stone walls around us swirled with confusion, the footsteps of unknown servants constantly pattering by made me feel watched, edgy. At home, in Cragstone we knew exactly who roamed our smaller world. “We should just ask Helena outright,” I snapped in frustration, “they’re discussing us and our babies so why shouldn’t we know.” Ultimately we had the matter taken out of our hands. A small, elderly male servant summoned us for breakfast with Alpha Brandon and Luna Hollie down in the dining hall. Kissing the babies and leaving them with Kharkov and Penelope we made our way for attempt Day Two of the so-called Conference. As expected the four of them were already there. Brandon raised his hand as soon as he saw us enter and saw Ivan assessing the situation. Alpha Alexander for once looked distressed. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes wer
The Beta's Prize 105. Ivan
My worst fears were confirmed. This wasn’t a proper conference, there was no respect for our attendance as the leaders of the Shadowlands pack, it was some ridiculous notion by Helena to try and fix her own ego. Kissing Cherish softly as she tended to the babies with Penelope I informed Kharkov I was heading for a stroll, he could stay with the women and enjoy some breakfast. His face lit up at the prospect, whether it was breakfast or the company of the women I could not tell which thrilled him more. I loved the fact he had such a bond with Cherish. Having someone in your corner like that, it’s how I used to see myself and Helena. Different but the same. /If everything had stayed the same, we would have been dead in a ditch long ago. Some things have to change/ Kohl murmured sagely. I agreed with him, but I still regretted my lost friendship. Heading out of the huge double doored stone archway I found myself looking down upon a splendid view of the surrounding forest. It was so
The Beta's Prize 104. Cherish
When the servant brought us into the dining hall it was just as grand as I expected. Huge golden candelabras and chandeliers lit up a picture perfect room. The usual tapestries and war scenes I had grown used to seeing at White Forest were not present here. Rising Star was a gallery of landscapes. The valleys, lakes and forests depicted everywhere gave the castle a softer feeling than I had expected this pile of stones to provide. Even the soft rugs were welcomely eyed by Halo, my feet still not fully healed made me want to jump to the nearest chair. I preferred this castle to White Forest, though as Halo warned me, that may just be because I had lingering reservations about Luna Helena and her knowledge of Fate. Ivan, bless him, knew my feet were not fully healed yet and made sure to have me seated comfortably before anything else. Alpha Brandon and Luna Hollie were kind and gracious hosts. They clearly adored Helena and Alexander, a cosy coupling that we were on the outside of.
