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19TH HEARTBEAT
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2023-02-17 17:28:21Related chapters
The Badboy's Heartbeat 20TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSWhatever happened to the hate that I have amassed for Xavier was slowly being drained by his simple apology. And somehow the weirdest part of this plot twist was all me becoming weak on my knees around Xavier when I’m clearly aware that it’s not healthy. Whoever thinks that being all sort of forgiving towards the person who bullied them for quite a long time is an insane person. That’s exactly me, I am an insane person and honestly, I’m okay with it. This seemed to be leading to something that would change the course of my life and to be perfectly blunt with myself, I’m ready for an adventure.I just don’t have any idea if Jane and Nikki would really understand me. Maybe they’re okay with it, maybe they’re not okay with it. It’s really up in the air. If they’re both trying to be their own woke selves, then I’m horribly fucked.I may have my own reasons for accepting Xavier’s apology and I’m going to stick by that. The hate that I used to have for this ginger head was slow
Last Updated : 2023-02-18The Badboy's Heartbeat 21ST HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSI was already under the impression that after a relatively long and giddy day, it’s finally time for me to retreat to bed and dream of Xavier Rockwell. Initially, that was my plan and I know it sounds stupid to admit that but Xavier really did make me feel blissful today. However, the man upstairs seemed to have decided to extend this day when my one and only crush, Zacheus Riley showed up.“It’s already ten-thirty. What are you doing here?” I immediately asked the guy the moment I went down to meet him. I couldn’t risk exchanging words with him from my window as if I’m Rapunzel. While Zacheus does look like a hot prince in this modern world, I definitely do not have a long ass blonde hair and I’m not a princess either.“Honestly, I-I don’t even know why I’m here.” He bantered and the strong smell of alcohol immediately invaded my nostrils.“You’re drunk.” I muttered and if I wasn’t very much sleepy, I’d probably had a heart attack knowing that my crush just showed up out
Last Updated : 2023-02-19The Badboy's Heartbeat 22ND HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELL“I guess this is goodbye then.” Bursting with reluctance on the inside, I opened my mouth and spoke nervously breaking the reign of silence. Little did Jordi know, I’m on the verge of shutting down noting that this was the end of the walk.Things between me and Xavier just went from floating on cloud nine to an awkward state. I genuinely enjoyed walking Jordi home even though he almost got ran over by a school bus when I was chasing him. I don’t know if he could read me but I was kind of hoping this won’t be the end of our day. Unfortunately, Jordi does not look like he’s going to invite me inside their house and I do get why he does not want to. Perhaps to him, I’m probably still an asshole and I’m okay with it. I should really work hard on getting on his good graces.“Goodbye? What in the hell are you talking about, Xavier? We’re still going to see each other at school tomorrow.” Jordi chuckled which sounded adorable. I haven’t heard him release such a mirthful laugh
Last Updated : 2023-02-20The Badboy's Heartbeat 23RD HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELL It’s already past ten-thirty in the evening and I know I should already be asleep by now. I usually don’t get a good night’s rest whenever I’m at home mostly because of all the shitty stuff that’s going around this shitty place. Whenever I’m trying to get some really good sleep, it’s either Hector and my mom are playing loud music or watching TV with loudest volume possible. Sometimes, when they’re not fucking each other’s brains out, they’re fighting and screaming at each other. Now’s probably the time or perhaps to be quite exact, it’s the only time for me to have the rest that I wanted. Not only that Hector’s not here, my mom’s also soundly asleep on the lower bunk. Seconds and minutes have passed and I just can’t put myself to sleep even when I’ve closed my eyes for a while. I don’t even know if I should count a hundred sheep just to get myself to sleep. However, I just keep on seeing Jordi and I’m certainly aware of the fact that I haven’t stopped thinking about
Last Updated : 2023-02-20The Badboy's Heartbeat 24TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELL In light of my already existing fear of getting judged, I ended up putting the folded sketch of Jordi’s face back to my pocket. “Look what we have here!” Nixon’s voice penetrated my eardrums and it did nothing but piss me the fuck off. This was not really the best time for them to show up. I was just about to ask Jordi out and now, it seemed to me that I’m not going to be able to do that and it felt really horrible. “It’s the cocksucker!!!!!” Nixon and Darren both shared a burst of laughter as if calling someone a cocksucker was the funniest thing. “You do realize that not every gay person wants to suck your dick, right?” Jordi bantered back and I was thrillingly surprised that he had the confidence to do so. However, I felt scared at the very same time. Jordi doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into by talking back to Nixon. “He’s talking back, Nixon.” Darren added from behind. “So, you’re talking back now, shithead?” Nixon inched his way closer to Jordi and sl
Last Updated : 2023-02-23The Badboy's Heartbeat 25TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINS No one would’ve prevented the dazzling smile that’s blatantly painted on my face when I saw Xavier waiting for me at my own locker. I have been thinking about him throughout the entire day. No one noticed but the inner gay Jordi hidden inside the abyss of my soul would’ve done anything that’s there to do just to find some time to spend with Xavier. “Hey, how was your day?” Xavier inquired the moment I strut my way towards him. I tried not to look at him and proceeded to unlocking my locker. “Good. Nikki’s still pissed but overall, I had a good day.” I replied and I was greatly hoping to be subtle with everything that’s going to happen from this point onward. I’m perfectly aware that I’m already squirming in great ecstasy deep inside but I’m still the sane Jordi that I am. I know better than wearing my true emotions on my shoulder. I have to be calm even though I could smell Xavier’s scent. “I’m sure she’ll come around at some point.” Xavier trailed off. “Yeah, she’s j
Last Updated : 2023-02-26The Badboy's Heartbeat 26TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINS“You saw us?” I almost barked out loud. Thankfully, there’s no one out of earshot by the bleachers and I was able to make all of the shocked sound and expression that I would’ve normally do. Hearing the confession come out of Nikki’s mouth was the only thing that I needed to make an actual conclusion. It’s most definitely the reason why she called me a liar in the first place.“Yup, by the locker. I was just on my way to find you and I didn’t mean to pry but I saw everything and when I say everything, I saw you kissing him back.” Nikki continued. “Oh my god, Jordi!!! Is that actually your first kiss?” She squealed.“Nikki—”“Or maybe there’s something else that you’re not telling me about. Hhmmm?!!.”“No, it is. It is my first kiss.” I nodded in utter defeat and I just realized that I needed to tell Nikki everything. I know we just had a fight and perhaps this was also the right time to finally tell her about me and Xavier.“Xavier’s your first kiss? That fucking bastard!
Last Updated : 2023-02-27The Badboy's Heartbeat 27TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSThe current reign of silence inside my room has never been deafening. Usually, when I’m all by myself, I play some loud ass music just so I wouldn’t have this feeling that I’m all alone. However, having Xavier’s unwanted presence here, I really thought I don’t need to play anything but to add to my already existing disappointment, he’s been quiet the entire time ever since I pulled him here. He was just sitting at the edge of my bed with his mouth tightly shut and for the most part, I was just sitting on my swivel chair pretending as if I’m doing something on my laptop. Billie was just displayed on one corner and the eyes the Xavier drew on her looked like she’s been watching me the entire time.“Okay, I’m going to have to throw the towel here.” I began finally deciding to break the reign of silence myself. I said I don’t want to start the c
Last Updated : 2023-02-28
Latest chapter
The Badboy's Heartbeat THE 100TH AND FINAL HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSThe stars have gone out their way to align just for Xavier and I. That’s how I’ve been thinking for the past week ever since he agreed to be my prom date. Recovering our relationship wasn’t as easy as eating a slice of a fraudulently healthy carrot cake or travelling a path where you have already traveled before but it did happen. Xavier just lost his mom but it ended up becoming the reason for us to reconnect and come back even stronger. We bonded over losing one of the person that we love the most in the milky way.For him, it was his own mother and for me, it was my own grandmother. It’s clearly not a similar situation but there’s a clear path where it converges at the very center and it a very endearing moment where we just talked about how life is short and that you should live like there’s no tomorrow. Live like there’s no tomorrow, love intensely as if you don’t have anything else to give and laugh hard to your heart’s content; that’s what Xavier taught me.“Oh my
The Badboy's Heartbeat 99TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSEver since the unfortunate passing of Xavier’s mom, he has been such a fun type of lad to hang out with quite surprisingly. It was initially difficult and confusing for me to adjust from this new whole new Xavier but I will admit, I am loving it as much as how I fell in love with the old Xavier.When my grandma passed away, I was in the longest state of shock and sorrow but eventually, I ultimately I learned how to recover from such loss. Xavier on the other hand, while I’m aware that he had cried a lot during his mother’s passing, he bizarrely took a hard left in probably the most positive way that I’ve seen of him. He said he’s going to live his best life and I don’t even have anything bad to say about his decisions in life.I took the ride with him and it has been the most fun and carefree adventure that I’ve ever had in my life. Initially, I had lots of doubts and confusions about Xavier’s intensely positive behavior but ultimately, as time passed by, I ended up falli
The Badboy's Heartbeat 98TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLThe day of the funeral came just as quickly as I lost my own mother and honestly speaking, I wasn’t, in any means, ready to get up from my bed and slip unto something somber and black. I only had a two hours of sleep because I spent the entire night quietly sobbing inside my room. After all, it is the only time that I could cry and cry and really cry hard without thinking about nobody.I couldn’t stop thinking about my mom and how I should’ve been present for her. I am absolutely aware of the lingering fact that she was struggling and I was entirely glad that she finally decided to checked herself into a rehab. However, you don’t really know what’s going on inside people’s mind even if they say they’re fine and they say they’re ready for a change. I don’t really have any sort of idea if my mom just gave into the temptation of the outside world or if Hector somehow managed to talk her out if or even possibly bribed her with something or if she just missed sniffing powde
The Badboy's Heartbeat 97TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLHugging Jordi Adkins for the first time in a very long while was just the thing that I needed at this point in my life. At first, Jordi was clearly astounded when I first yanked him over into a desperate hug but eventually, he returned the favor and it was just as soothing as I expected it to be. It’s the kind of embrace that I’ve been longing for and I’m finally having it. It felt good to be here with Jordi because I don’t know if I could take what’s happening around in my life anymore.It’s been a while since I’ve been treating Jordi like he does not exist in my very own universe. I tried to fix it with him when I met the couple Dominic and Valentine but since then, I haven’t really had the best time to even focus on getting Jordi back. When I went to Jordi’s house, I felt super disappointed by the fact that he’s already going out with someone else just a few weeks after I ended things with him. It was mindboggling to be perfectly honest. And when I got back home, th
The Badboy's Heartbeat 96TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINS“X-xavier?” Nikki was taken by a huge surprise just as she recognized the guy inside the yellow sports car.“Oh my god, it’s Xavier.” Jane whispered behind my ears but I was already having a lot of mixed emotions swirling up inside of me.My heart began to beat twice as fast and I don’t know if I was ready to see Xavier just as early as now. It’s true that I missed him so badly and I don’t even want to admit that to myself because I’m trying to get past him. Apparently, I have a long way to go now that I saw him today. I feel like I’m about to throw up but I also feel like I’m about to pass out at the very same time.Xavier looked amazingly different and that was the part of me who’s still hoping that we could fix this speaking on my behalf. He dyed his hair black and he looked bizarrely different but still hot as ever. I felt a slight pang on my chest and it seemed that my tongue got cut off.“I’m sorry, Nikki.” Xavier uttered.“Oh, shit. You dyed your hair black?” Nikki
The Badboy's Heartbeat 95TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSI woke up with the slow golden light of midday filtering through my window. I forgot how many days it has been until I walked out of my room and then I realized today was already the twenty-fourth. It seemed to me like it was just a blink of an eye but I guess that’s all because the days were pretty much uninteresting. I’m doing nothing but showing up for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’ve been sleeping for so long that it became an underlying concern for my protective mother. She said that sleeping for more than eight hours was a simple sign of sorrow that could lead to depression. I guess she was right about it. I am really that much depressed and she completely knows why. I don’t even know why I’m getting so mopey when I’ve been trying my best to block Xavier’s unrelenting presence off of my mind.It was just a few hours left before Christmas and this year, one thing is for sure, I’m not much excited as I was last year or the year before that and the year before that ye
The Badboy's Heartbeat 94TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSIt was the smell of alcohol evaporating from my body mixed with a banging headache that got me running towards the toilet when I woke up from going to that house party Nikki invited us into. I was throwing up so badly that I almost felt like I’m going to start barfing all of my insides. I was hugging the toilet bowl as if it was the only friend I have in this trying times.I spent almost half an hour on the bathroom floor thinking I’m dying up until the moment my mom knocked on the door. I instantly felt good when I heard her screaming out my name. There seemed to be some sort of a healing power coming from her voice that made me stand up from hugging the toilet seat.“Jordi, Are you okay in there, sweetie?”“Yes, mom. I’m just throwing up, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” I yelled back.“Oh, I’m not worried about you, sweetie. I’m just knocking to remind you that you need to clean up your mess up in there. That’s what you get for overdrinking. I told you to drink moderat
The Badboy's Heartbeat 93RD HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLXander’s birthday party was well prepared for and it was as grand as the MET gala that there’s even a photoshoot at the gate for every person arriving. I was just taking a peek on my window but I could see everything. I don’t think I’ve celebrated a birthday like this in my life. Though, to me, the way I see things panning out, this was going to be the last birthday that Xander was ever going to celebrate in this household. Xander mentioned that he’s going to be kicked out of the house once this party was over and I felt slightly bothered and sad by that.The outfit that was given to me to wear was draped on the bed and it was just waiting for me to slip on them for the entire hour. It was a yellow suit with touches of black and a few sparkling stones. I don’t even want to be invited to this party and that’s all because I’m developing such laziness. I’m very lazy to go out there and meet new people.Right after slipping on the suit that was provided for me, I looked ov
The Badboy's Heartbeat 92ND HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLThe dinner with my dad’s family did not go well just as I was expecting it. The tension within the family was very much evident from the get go. I may have unconsciously observed everything.My dad and his wife Rachel doesn’t have the best relationship of husband and wife and anyone could’ve guessed that right away. They weren’t very subtle with how they’re treating each other even right in front of their children. In fact, I do remember my dad somehow loved my mother in a very different sense than what I just witnessed between him and his original wife and the mother of his three children. In this world, while it’s very much common that patriarchy is ruling, I have sensed Rachel was also after the money.Xiomara was that one member of the family who just doesn’t know how to adjust and is charged up with built-up anger and some nasty attitude. She hated everything and everyone. I’m personally giving her the benefit of the doubt because I don’t have any idea of the thin
