Chapter 2 - Once Upon A Time...

"Allison, I am so so sorry. I never should have pushed you to do something you obviously didn't want to. I'm so sorry," Nellie said, comforting me as I cried ceaselessly in the bathroom.

I tried to stop crying but remembering the fact that Derris called me a bitch brought tears to my eyes again and I found the tears coming even more.

It didn't even bother me that much that he poured my yoghurt on me. What hurt me the most was his behavior. The way he looked at me and spoke to me. Like I was a piece of garbage.

It was so different from how he looked at me last week and that hurt me to the core.

All because I ruined his shirt...

"Allison, I'm sorry. Derris is such a douchebag," Nellie said obviously still trying to comfort me but as silly as I was, I was quick to jump to his defense.

"It wasn't his fault, Nellie. It was mine. I spilled the yoghurt on his shirt so he had every right to be mad," I murmured.

"Allison! You're not seriously blaming yourself, are you?" Nellie exclaimed.

"It was my fault, Nellie. Maybe if I was normal, I wouldn't have yelled and slipped…"

"Allison! Of course you're normal! You were just scared and nervous. And even if you poured yoghurt on his shirt, he had no right to do what he did."

"He did have a right, Nel. Just look, can we stop talking about it? I just want to forget that this nightmare even happened."

At that moment, a girl walked into the bathroom and on seeing me, burst into laughter as she took a picture of me and disappeared into one of the stalls.

I felt my eyes start to water again as I turned to Nellie and hugged her.

My life sucks!

***

"Allison, are you sure you don't want to sleep over?" Nellie asked as we stood by the stairs that led into my house.

I sighed and said, "You're worrying too much, Nellie. It's not like I'm a baby who can't take care of herself. I'll be fine."

Her expression told me she didn't believe me.

"But Allie, you're already in such a bad mood. I just don't want you to get hurt even more."

"I'll be fine, Nellie. You already do so much for me but I can't just run away from my problems. This is my house too. I at least have to stay here sometime."

"But Allison-"

"Nellie, I'll be fine. Don't worry. We'll sleep over tomorrow."

"Okay. Good night, bes."

We hugged each other 'good night' and I watched as she walked away and soon disappeared around the corner.

Steeling myself for whatever came next, I gingerly climbed up the short steps and slowly opened the door, making sure not to make a sound.

I waded through the dark towards the stairs that led to my room on the tip of my toes, being careful not to make a sound. Just when my hand gripped the banister, the room was suddenly illuminated and I found myself shrieking as I turned back to see my dad seated on the sofa, a bottle in hand.

How did I not notice he was there or even smell the booze? I guess I was so used to the smell now that it didn't even bother me again.

Back to my dad, he sat on the chair, staring at me through cloudy eyes that had once resonated love but were now filled with anger and resentment, saying nothing. He brought the bottle in his hand to his lips and took a large gulp.

"Where have you been?" he asked at last.

"At Nellie's," I whispered, scared out of my mind.

"Open your mouth when I talk to you, bitch!" he barked and I shook.

"I was at Nellie's," I answered in a shaky but audible voice.

"Up until this time? Are you lying to me, Allison? Are you?!" he barked.

"No, I'm not. I was at Nellie's place. She escorted me home."

He was silent as he stared at me with an unreadable look in his eyes. I didn't know what to think.

All of a sudden, he yelled "You little slut!"

He rose from the chair and in less than two seconds, he was in front of me, huffing angrily.

I was scared out of my mind as I didn't know what he was planning on doing but I knew he wouldn't hit me. He could hurt me with his words but he never hit me. The one time he did hit me, he had been so remorseful.

As I cried in pain, it was as though the drunken haze he was in cleared and he realized what he'd done. He was sober and remorseful for days and for a while, it was like the old days again but just as quickly as it started, it ended and things went back to the way they were but he never hit me again. It served to reassure me that my dad was still inside there somewhere.

"I came back from work, dog-tired, expecting to find food at home but I didn't meet you at home. Now you come sneaking in at nine o'clock like a damn burglar and you have the audacity to say you were at Nellie's. You know you were at your little boyfriend's house like the slut that you are, you stupid little bitch!"

My eyes watered and I choked back a sob as I stared down, his words echoing in my head.

"Now, get your little ass in the kitchen and get me some food before I lose it with you," he said and I was quick to hurry to the kitchen.

I cleaned my tears and hurriedly made dinner; spaghetti and meatballs. I was careful about each little detail as I wanted to avoid another round of insults and name-calling.

Once the meal was done, I dished his portion onto a plate, placed it on a tray and served him.

I could my heart rate increase as I watched take a spoonful of the meal.

"Please like it. Please like it," I chanted inwardly.

He savoured the food in his mouth, swallowed it before saying, "A bit too salty for my liking but it's edible."

I released a huge breath and muttered a prayer to God in thanks. While he ate, I stood beside him quietly waiting until he was done so I could clean the place up.

Halfway through his meal, he turned to me and said, "Where's your food?"

"I haven't served it yet."

"Well what are you waiting? Get in the kitchen, get your food and bring it in here!"

"Okay sir," I answered, trying not to show my surprise.

I did as he said and for the first time in a long time, I found myself eating dinner with my dad. Most times, I just stood quietly beside him like a maid while he ate. He said he found it disrespectful for us to be eating at the same time. But certain times, he made exceptions, just like now.

We ate dinner in silence and finished up at about the same time. I cleared the table of the dishes and took them to the kitchen to be washed.

Maybe due to my happiness at what just happened or due to some cruel work of date, while washing the dishes, one of them slipped from my hand and fell to the floor, breaking as it did.

"What is going on? What's all that racket?" I heard my dad ask from the living room as I heard his large footsteps across the floor heading towards the kitchen.

Before I could react, he was in the kitchen, his huge figure looming over me. His eyes darted to the broken dish on the floor and back to me. I felt like vaporizing into nothing at that point.

"What did you do?" he asked slowly.

"I-I'm s-sorry. I was washing and the p-plate slipped..."

"Shut up!" he yelled.

I gulped and did as he said.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Is it so hard for you to do anything right? Is it? Why do you have to be such a clumsy bitch? Uh, Allison? Why? Your boyfriend must be either blind or as stupid as you are to have you as his girlfriend!

If you don't get rid of that mess on the floor, you'll have only yourself to blame. Stupid piece of shit!"

I watched him go with tears in my eyes. Struggling to hold back my sobs, I got a broom and a dustpan and swept up the pieces of the broken dish. With shaky hands and a shattered heart, I did the rest of the dishes before slipping noiselessly up the stairs to my room.

Without bothering to turn on the light or change out of my clothes, I flopped down on the bed and buried my head into my pillow and cried like never before.

"Why me? Why do bad things always have to happen to me? Am I cursed or what?" I asked myself as my mind went back to a time when things were different.

Once upon a time, things weren't like this. Once upon a time, I had a father who loved me, a mom who cherished and siblings who adored me and I them.

My siblings, Gabriel and Gabrielle, who happened to be twins, were just about the cutest duo in the world and I loved them. When they came, it was as though nothing could ever go wrong again in our family.

I guess that's why when they died, with them went all the joy and love they'd brought with them.

Brie and Gabe died in a car crash on their way home from a birthday party when a drunk driver ran into the car they were in.

After that, everything just felt apart. My once cheerful mom, Joy gradually became a recluse shutting everyone out including my dad and I. Everything only grew worse after she disappeared.

My dad and I haven't heard from her since then.

As for my dad, James, well, there's only so much a man can take. He wasn't done mourning Brie and Gabe yet when my mom disappeared and I guess that was the last straw that broke the camel's back.

He started drinking and became hateful and spiteful to everyone including me. I think he kinda blames me for my mom leaving. She probably couldn't handle seeing a carbon copy of the two children she'd lost, since I and the twins looked so alike, so she left.

My dad and I used to be so close but things changed.

I wish they never did. I wish Brie and Gabe never went to that stupid party in the first place. I wish Mom never left so Dad would never have taken to the bottle in the first place. I wish I could be perfect. I wish I was prettier. I wish... I wish for a lot of things but wishes aren't horses or even beggars would want a ride.

Curling into a ball, I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep...