The walk back to my department was considerably more torturous than the walk from it. New resolve solidified, there was only the problem of learning how to become a block of ice. It shouldn’t be that had, considering the fact that I had perfected the art of smiling through pain in my childhood. I just hard to shift unflinching smile to a straight face. My head reels just from thinking back to him dismissing me without do much as a glance. ‘This is much harder than I thought, I wonder how he does it' My mind stops it's unsteady movement when it comes to rest on Mr. Wright. The middle aged man treated me well unlike Simon. He had helped me get through my few months of marriage with his boss, much to his chagrin. He couldn’t fathom what his something of a father figure saw in me. He never openly criticized the way Simon treated me, but he helped me get by, like instructing the maids on my food preferences after asking me, or telling the maids to keep me company when Simon left me i
The door clicks shut and I sigh in relief as the embarrassment died down, i turn to Ajax with a stern look, he was already hoping to the bathroom for a shower.‘Come here' he shakes his head no and was about to rush into the bathroom still fully clothed when I grab him.‘Ahhhhh’ his shrieks as his little feet get suspended in the air and I bring him to the sofa.‘No, Ajax, let’s have a serious conversation’ he looks at me with that smug smile on his face.‘I wanted to get you a husband' he pouts and I refuse to be fazed by his somber look.‘I didn't tell you I wanted a husband, did I' I stare into his black orbs that had a striking familiarity to Simon's.I had expected to be taken aback or be angry anytime I stared into something so similar to eyes I hated, but instead I was happyWhen I saw the eyes in the sockets of a face that was chubby, frown lines not yet etched into his forehead or cheeks I felt relief.At least Ajax had not inherited the fathomless depths that seemed to suck
Relief wakes with me the next morning as I remember dealing with Adam’s suspected feelings. Although I was a little harsh with my words, it was better than ignoring unrequited feelings and letting them blossom into something more fearsome. He looked somber after our conversation so I made sure to ask him if he still wanted to accompany me to pick Ajax up. He looked at me with incredulity ‘don’t be ridiculous, why won’t I be comfortable, we are still friends right’. His words were contradictory to how he looked considering the fact that he looked continuously somber throughout us picking Ajax up and going home. He was even oblivious to Ajax’s attempts at matchmaking. My little darling, he was unrelentless in his mission at freeing me from loneliness as he had so adamantly stated the night before as I was tucking him into bed. Back to the subject of Adam, despite that he seemed none to happy with my declaration; at least I had made it clear that nothing was happening betwe
What’s with this guy and his ability to turn my insides with anger, set my nerve endings on fire, with so little words? I bristle at his words and punch the air in anger, grabbing and wringing someone’s invisible neck. ‘So he was capable of acknowledging that fact’ I huff and stand up. ‘I thought he treated our past with no more than a cold- shoulder’ ‘He could acknowledge that I was once a part of SM and keep a straight face while doing it’ I pace about his office in a march and I notice the scent of his cologne lingering in the air. The musky scent, tinged with notes of pinewood and just a dash of mint was part alluring and part overpowering. The scent takes me back to that fateful night, the night when Simon broke character for the first time in our marriage. The alluring scent was tainted with the strong smell of alcohol but I didn’t refuse him when he stumbled into my room or when his hands went to the strings of my nightgown crashing his beer stained lips on mine in
My mind reeled back and forth as I take the elevator down, ‘How could Adam do this,’ I didn’t understand where his rage came from, ‘This rage that consumes everything in it’s path and blinds his eyes to friendship, to those that are for him and actually care about him' My thought goes back to his words about the necklace, ‘I mean, what was the point in defending me in front of others when he didn’t actually believe me. I think back to how quickly he jumped in to defend me when the accusation came forth and I had still being speechless in shock. My reeling thoughts were actually a way to distract me from his last words that hit too close to home. I had been acutely aware of the absence of positive feelings of Simon for me, yet I held on to my feelings for him all throughout our marriage, I help on hoping that there would suddenly be a change, a turning point where he would suddenly begin to like me. The fact that Adam mentioned that was uncomfortable to say the least. ‘But tha
Simon POV Weekend had me staring through the clear glass window of my hotel room and looking at the homey restaurant that was on the other side of the street. It brought thoughts of grey eyes lingering at the edge of my memory but I shove it back forcefully. It had happened one time too many, Tina lingering at the edge of my memory and me pushing said memory back. My vision shifts to something closer, the dulled glint even in brilliant sunlight showed it was of lesser quality. Dangling it from my index finger, I rolled the silver teardrop necklace into my grip, then released it back into a dangle like the movement of a yoyo. The metallic rustle it gave as it got enclosed in my grip together with the sharp but subdued clank it gave once dangling vertical was sort of calming to my ears as my mind pondered over the madness of last week If it wasn’t madness, there was nothing else to call it, seeing as I had halted Mr. Wright on his way to Trove on that Friday afternoon. I halted hi
Tina's POV ‘Ding', my doorbell rings and I turn stretching lazily in bed. It’s early, I think hoping the person would get tired and leave. ‘Ding, ping, ding' it rings insistently and blink my eyes open, sighing in frustration. ‘It's Saturday for Christ sake, can’t I sleep in peace' I roll over and sit up. Ajax stirs beside me and I try my best to get up as silently as possible Throwing a robe over my night gown, I trudge begrudgingly to the door. ‘Who's there, what do you want', I wipe sleep from my eyes and yawn again. He person at the door clears his throat, sounding hoarse, ‘it’s Adam'. I open the door quickly, surprise tainting my features. ‘Adam, what are you doing here, it's so early'. I tighten the robe around and come out into the hallway, closing the door behind me. My back resting on the closed door, I fold my arms and look at him through hooded eyes, I guess I was still bristling from his insult. ‘I'm sorry Tina, I was so stupid’ he stares at me pleadingly a s
We all alight at the bus stop and Ajax, cream buns in hand runs over to Lisa,Bella's daughter and gives her a hug, he halves his buns immediately handing one to her. ‘That’s my son', I think pride spreading through me at the interaction. I had gotten it for him when he kept complaining of hunger on our way to the restaurant. I hug Bella too and she glances at Adam at my back giving me a wink. Rolling my eyes, I introduce them while Ajax was already walking to the restaurant with Lisa in tow. ‘So you’re the guy that insulted my friend, huh' Bella skewers him with a cold look and I giggle in the background, ‘Um, huh, wh…’, Adam stammers and Bella burst out laughing. She claps his back, hitting him hard and spurring him into a cough ‘it’s all good, you apologised, I also happen to know that you are the only one that supports her in that large place of work’ Adam stops coughing and sighs in relief his face becoming composed. ‘But such insults will no longer be tolerated, I was on t
Then I’m marching away from him, stomping back inside, away from cool evening air and the ellipse pool that reminded me of our stolen moments together,With relief I find that Simon doesn’t follow as I hear no footsteps from behind me.As I move back up the stairs, my stomp gradually reduces into a walk, red clearing from my vision,My shoulders are slumped again when I get to the room that had my son in it,Unbelief crowds into my head, realization dawning on me.I push open the door, to see Ajax occupied with one of the numerous action figures on the shelves, ‘Let’s go home', his face falls, but he gets up, lifting toy Spiderman with him,I walk in, picking up his bag, and hitching it on my shoulder then I hold his hand in mine,‘Aren’t we going to say bye to dad', Ajax pauses and looks up at me as we walk out of the room,‘I said bye to him already’, I pull at his hand and he follows nodding.We walk down the stairs and my heart stops when I see Simon standing at the foo
‘Your son', I scoff loudly, repeating his words.‘And what gave you the notion that he your son',‘What makes you so sure', my soles scuff tiles as I start pacing the length of the yard, letting some of my pent up anger leak out through my steps,‘Really Tina', he calls my name, and the displeasure in his words match mine,‘Are we really going to sit here and debate Ajax's paternity’, his voice is gruff, dropping lower with each word,‘He’s not', I shake my head from left to right as I pass Simon’s front repeatedly in my pacing,‘You told him yourself’, it rises again, ‘Ajax confirmed it', he grabs my hand again, forcing me to look at him.‘Even a child!!’, his face is all hardness, jaw clenched and grinding, as he punctuates the word,‘Even a child can see that we're father and son', his voice is gruff, as he finishes and his eyes darken, stormy orbs in a face of fury.I try to turn away from him, to turn away from his fury that infuriated me further, and continue pacing.
The door swings shut behind me, The noise of my sneakers hitting cement as I rushed along the driveway echoed in my ears,Drowning out the sound of the grass swaying gently in the evening breeze, louder than the sound of birds chirping from the trees,I side step the water fountain without so much as a glance at its sculpted glory,My eyes rests on those large double doors, that separated me from my son, willing it to disintegrate,Instead it does something different, swinging open, parting slowly, revealing Simon as I stomp up tiled steps.The large smile on his face was nonexistent to me, his arms open wide in greeting a momentary confusion as I sidestep him, pushing into the mansion, My heart was beating too fast in my chest, my footsteps echoing too loud in my ears for me too even regard him,To even do the simple task of asking his reason,So I ignore him, turning laser-like focus on finding my son and getting out of this largeness that had me feeling like I was drowni
Air got sucked from my lungs, like I just received a strike to the gut,‘No', I shake my head as my grip on my phone tightens,‘That can’t be true', my head keeps turning from left to right in unbelief as the click of the call ending sounded.I take the phone off my ear, bring it to the front of my face,‘That can’t be possible’, my brain felt waterlogged, my ears clogged as the noise of school children fades out.The only sound around was my heart, beating like the tick of a clock, resounding in my ears, echoing in my head,‘No', I shake my head again and call his school teacher,‘She’s probably mistaken’,‘There was no way he could be with Simon', My fingers shake against my screen as I scroll through my contacts,The first call goes to voicemail, ‘Pick up for Christ sake’, I swear under my breathe, dialing her number again,‘Could it be Adam?’‘But he would never refer to himself as Ajax’s father’, my mind swirls as the phone rings on, no sign of it being picked up.
By the time it was lunch my head was on a spin, on a whirlpool of frustration, I sat still, my hands folded in my lap,but my heart was on fire, my mouth burned like I was chewing on hot gum.The heat bled onto my palms, drawing sweat, that I wiped repeatedly against ash-gray pants, ‘At this point, I will never be able to tell him', I mused as I stared at the dark streaks my hands created, the creases from repeatedly fisting it's fabric in my hands.‘If only he didn’t smile those face splitting smiles whenever our eyes met’‘If only he didn’t look at me with such affection in his eyes'‘Maybe it would be easier to tell him if I wasn’t risk….’,‘Where should we eat today’, my musings get interrupted and I look up at him.We’d been so absorbed with each other the last week yet anytime my eyes met those ones shining with affection, a wave of unfamiliarity courses through me, a war between elation and fear ensues.‘Let’s just order in', I hide my surprise, the battle raging in
Time moved slowly, sluggishly, like my heart,It's sound, a turbid rhythm in my chest, like wading in mud water, dragging my head through varying degrees of shock,Of all things I anticipated, expected, planned for, this was the least of them.I didn't even think it possible, it was not a scenario I saw happening, My eyes watch, sluggishly, same as my heart at the teardrop that track Ajax's cheek trailing onto his lap.‘He's dad, isn’t he?’, he says it again, and my head rears back in a whiplash.The fact that he repeated it, a statement this time, proved the extent of the situation, it was a testament to how much of a mess I was in.‘Why is he not here with us?'‘Did he do something bad?', ‘Is dad a bad man?’, with each question, his voice raises, bordering on hysterics, fat tears rolling down his cheeks.‘Why don’t you want me to meet him?', he asks again, yet my mind travels, trying to pinpoint what could have given it away,I had been very careful to never mention the
For a moment I considered coming clean, telling him the truth of a son he never knew about, but the fear in my heart was stronger,So I chew slowly, bidding my time to formulate something believable, something that wouldn’t allow the serious expression his face had taken into something darker.I tried to formulate something that would allow me to keep this warm bubble we had built around ourselves,A bubble I was not keen on letting go off so soon.My head was a mess, strung between telling the truth and fumbling for lies,I had thought I was over this, relief had filled me when I found that he didn’t hear Ajax’s name fro Lisa's lips.I finish chewing and keep the smile on my face, deciding on the easy way out,‘He’s no one you should be bothered about', it was hard, dismissing my son as someone unimportant, yet it was easier than risking him taking Ajax away from me.I hoped it would be enough for him, my reassurance would be enough to quell questions he was suddenly keen on
Relief floods my insides and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in as the bell jangled, signifying their exit.‘I’ll be back in a minute', standing up, I head to the table they just left, clearing the pile of coloring books and crayons.Head chef had been so nice, allowing Ajax and Lisa in the restaurant for as long as they liked, but it won’t be fair to hog a table after they were gone, so I clear them up heading to the back room and placing them with Bella's things.I catch a glance of Cathy’s befuddled expression as I enter, knowing she would have pelted me with questions if she wasn’t attending to a customer.Stepping out, she’s done and I take a deep breath waiting for the maelstrom to begin.‘That’s Simon Valero right, theee Simon Valero', she draws closer to me and I stare, patiently nodding as she fires,‘Only son and child of Alicia Valero?, heir to SM group Simon Valero?’, her voice pitches with the last question and I finally use my words.‘Yeees', ‘To
‘You know you have to stop looking at the door whenever a customer walks in, you’re no longer a waitress', the sound of Bella's voice trickles to me, sounding at the back of my mind,Her statement was inconsequential in comparison with the drop of my heart to the pit of my stomach, the look of horror making a home on my face‘You're a…..’, she trails off as she follows my line of sight to the source of my predicament,‘Uh oh!’, she exclaims,Simon had walked in and was currently looking about the restaurant, a relaxed air about himI drop my head between my hands, hiding behind my hair, hoping he hadn’t seen me.‘That’s very fruitless, he has seen you already', I glance up again and my eyes meet eyes that lights up immediately they meet mine.‘What in the world is he doing here?’, I whisper yell, asking Bella and she shrugs,I quickly smoothen out my face, wipe horror off it as I face a smiling Simon sashaying towards me.My eyes turn towards the corner where Ajax and Lisa we