‘Not in this lifetime', I remembered Bella's words as I took the bus to work the next morning, refusing the advice adamantly even in my head, The imposing logo of Trove didn’t look as imposing to me as I walked through the glass doors inside, ‘It's magnificence wore out, probably because I was seeing it every time', this thought was on m mind as I walked into the elevator heading to Simon's floor. ‘Why then did this feeling not wear out', I look at myself in the reflective walls of the elevator through weary eyes. ‘Why did this feeling of impending doom, mixed together with that school girl excitement, splashes of tremor inducing anxiety and that lingering feeling of longing refuse to tire out', my face stares right at me, unmoved in it’s hard set, a total opposite from the raging furnace that was my mind, ‘Why did these feelings always put me in a chokehold whenever I was on my way to Simon's office' the elevator door slid open and my heels dug into the floor, trying to delay fac
‘Tina, stay, please, eat with me, don’t leave!’My eyes sweep in the direction of his voice, drawn to the magnetic pull of his voice,I find myself lost as my eyes lands on his.‘His eyes!’ my heart beats funny in my chest,They were whirlpools of sadness, longing etched unto the swirls of his magnetic gaze,I tried to utter an excuse, to spit out words rehearsed, words that always lay at the tip of my tongue, ready to be used in swift rejection, should Simon breach the terms of our contract.‘I…I’m not hungry’, I mentally face palm at the sorry excuse for rejection,My stomach rumbled, loudly, and I cringe at the resounding sound, my face heating from embarrassment,‘What the hell happened to ‘I’m not obligated to eat with you’ or, ‘an employer and his employee are not meant to eat together’’, I chide myself further, taking a few steps towards the door to flee Simon’s hypnotic gaze and my increasingly reddening face,My steps falter in their hurried movement when Simon stand
I find myself at the rooftop again, after dumping the bag of overturned pasta in the trash.The breeze from the rooftop did little to quell the building hollow in my heart, the hollow that always found it’s way to me after heated conversations with Simon.A hollow that left me with a deep-seated cold after blood boiling conversations with him.Afternoon sun beating down on my head, light breeze blowing across my face, I try to focus on the birds in flight in the sky and not the cold in my heart.A strand from my hair comes loose and I brush it back, feeling a greasy stain on my forehead,I glance at my hands and see it stained brown from sauce, folding it together to avoid staining my clothes I make a mental note to remember to wash off my forehead.My stomach growls again at the slight sight of food, it grumbles loudly, protesting my blatant disrespect for food.‘Right, right, I got it, never throwing food away again, even if that ass got it for me’, I smile looking down at my
‘Where were we’, Simon walks into his office the next morning, adjusting the cufflinks on his sleeve, suit in hand, dark orbs on me,The clipped, hurried sound of his footsteps as he walked towards his desk had my head in a spin.The morning sun shining through the window and beautiful morning weather did nothing to quell the storm brewing in my heart,I try to push it down remembering the day before.‘Mom!!’, Ajax had rewarded me with an excited squeal and a hug when I picked him up early,‘Let’s eat out, let’s eat out’, with that same excited voice, he bugged me till I found a small restaurant secluded enough for our dinner,Spending extra hours with my son helped to reduce the hollow building in my heart to something inconsiderable,But now, Simon is bringing everything up again, unearthing conflicting feelings best left buried.A deep sigh exhales my lips,‘Good morning to you too’, I eye him annoyed,‘Sir’, I add honorifics after second thought,‘Didn’t want to start t
Taking deep breaths, our eyes still rest on each other and my hands fumble for the phone in my pocket, not eager to break this tiny slip in time.That loud ringing again and my eyes flutter close as I try to ground myself in reality, my chest rising and falling as I take in calming breaths,Sliding my eyes open, I peer at my phone screen seeing an alarm for Simon’s first schedule of the day.I close my eyes again, taking another long breath, making sure my voice won’t crack when I try to speak,‘You have a meeting with the CEO in ten minutes’, my voice sounds a little above a whisper, despite all my calming breaths,I turn my eyes back to him, seeing him close his eyes and take a deep breath, running his hands through his hair again,He stands abruptly, not saying a word to me, slicking his hair back with his hands, aiming for that semi-perfect look from earlier.Walking towards his desk he grabs his suit from it, sliding it on, adjusting his collar.I stand up to, trying my b
My eyes stared, unblinking at the white ceiling,I was left pondering, as I had always been the last 8 days.The grays of my eyes, fastening on the very grains of the white paint coating the ceiling of my bedroom,Even in the dull light my eyes had grown accustomed to every dip, every rise in the rough paint.It was surely due to the fact that my eyes kept wandering to said ceiling in the early hours of every morning, when I lay awake in bed, sleep eluding me from overthinking.My eyes find the areas where the paint strokes were brighter, the areas where they had faded from oldness,My eyes find the lone bulb in my room, its light turned low the night before, counting the seconds till I could nudge Ajax awake,Dawn found me awake, thin tendrils of faded light crawling across my bedroom floor, with every dance of the curtains at my window,Like I had been doing for the past 8 days, I watch as the tendrils become longer, brighter, spilling across my bedroom floor as morning arrived fast
With a piercing look he stared, hand neatly folded together on top of the laptop I expected him to be occupied with,He stared at me with a forlorn look, something akin to longing etched unto his face.‘But that was impossible, wasn’t it’, I tell myself, writing it off as something else.‘I might as well get this over with’, standing up from my comfort, I walk closer to this man with a confusing face, whipping my phone out of my handbag,‘Good morning Mr. Valero’, my head downturned to the light of my phone screen, I look anywhere but his eyes, lest my mind gets taken back to impossible soft gazes of days before, Lest those whirlpools of sadness draw me straight to defeat.‘Good morning’, he replies me with that distractingly soft voice,I clear my throat.‘You have your final suit fitting in twenty minutes’, I relay his first schedules for the day,‘We should leave now if you’re to meet up’A huff of disbelief leaves my lips,‘He was supposed to be out of his chair by now, wrestling
‘We’re here’, I announce before he was able to reply to my question, parking and turning off the engine.He eyes stays on me for a long time before he pulls open his door and slides out,I pull open mine too attempting to follow him, but he stops me, leaning in and grabbing his briefcase.‘Wait here, I won’t be long’,Closing back the door, I fold my arms together and watch him walk into the building.A scoff pass through my lips again, as I roll the question in my head.‘What stupid question’, I push it to the back of my mind hoping he’d forget the ridiculous question in the process of conversation.I hoped he’d get consumed by his usual ridiculous anger at everyone affiliated with his mother and forget this attempt at reconciliation,‘I didn’t want it, I didn’t want to reconcile with someone who doesn’t even see he’s at fault’Staring unblinkingly at the silent landscape I count reasons why reconciliation was not needed.I just needed to hold out for one more day and Simon would be
Air got sucked from my lungs, like I just received a strike to the gut,‘No', I shake my head as my grip on my phone tightens,‘That can’t be true', my head keeps turning from left to right in unbelief as the click of the call ending sounded.I take the phone off my ear, bring it to the front of my face,‘That can’t be possible’, my brain felt waterlogged, my ears clogged as the noise of school children fades out.The only sound around was my heart, beating like the tick of a clock, resounding in my ears, echoing in my head,‘No', I shake my head again and call his school teacher,‘She’s probably mistaken’,‘There was no way he could be with Simon', My fingers shake against my screen as I scroll through my contacts,The first call goes to voicemail, ‘Pick up for Christ sake’, I swear under my breathe, dialing her number again,‘Could it be Adam?’‘But he would never refer to himself as Ajax’s father’, my mind swirls as the phone rings on, no sign of it being picked up.
By the time it was lunch my head was on a spin, on a whirlpool of frustration, I sat still, my hands folded in my lap,but my heart was on fire, my mouth burned like I was chewing on hot gum.The heat bled onto my palms, drawing sweat, that I wiped repeatedly against ash-gray pants, ‘At this point, I will never be able to tell him', I mused as I stared at the dark streaks my hands created, the creases from repeatedly fisting it's fabric in my hands.‘If only he didn’t smile those face splitting smiles whenever our eyes met’‘If only he didn’t look at me with such affection in his eyes'‘Maybe it would be easier to tell him if I wasn’t risk….’,‘Where should we eat today’, my musings get interrupted and I look up at him.We’d been so absorbed with each other the last week yet anytime my eyes met those ones shining with affection, a wave of unfamiliarity courses through me, a war between elation and fear ensues.‘Let’s just order in', I hide my surprise, the battle raging in
Time moved slowly, sluggishly, like my heart,It's sound, a turbid rhythm in my chest, like wading in mud water, dragging my head through varying degrees of shock,Of all things I anticipated, expected, planned for, this was the least of them.I didn't even think it possible, it was not a scenario I saw happening, My eyes watch, sluggishly, same as my heart at the teardrop that track Ajax's cheek trailing onto his lap.‘He's dad, isn’t he?’, he says it again, and my head rears back in a whiplash.The fact that he repeated it, a statement this time, proved the extent of the situation, it was a testament to how much of a mess I was in.‘Why is he not here with us?'‘Did he do something bad?', ‘Is dad a bad man?’, with each question, his voice raises, bordering on hysterics, fat tears rolling down his cheeks.‘Why don’t you want me to meet him?', he asks again, yet my mind travels, trying to pinpoint what could have given it away,I had been very careful to never mention the
For a moment I considered coming clean, telling him the truth of a son he never knew about, but the fear in my heart was stronger,So I chew slowly, bidding my time to formulate something believable, something that wouldn’t allow the serious expression his face had taken into something darker.I tried to formulate something that would allow me to keep this warm bubble we had built around ourselves,A bubble I was not keen on letting go off so soon.My head was a mess, strung between telling the truth and fumbling for lies,I had thought I was over this, relief had filled me when I found that he didn’t hear Ajax’s name fro Lisa's lips.I finish chewing and keep the smile on my face, deciding on the easy way out,‘He’s no one you should be bothered about', it was hard, dismissing my son as someone unimportant, yet it was easier than risking him taking Ajax away from me.I hoped it would be enough for him, my reassurance would be enough to quell questions he was suddenly keen on
Relief floods my insides and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in as the bell jangled, signifying their exit.‘I’ll be back in a minute', standing up, I head to the table they just left, clearing the pile of coloring books and crayons.Head chef had been so nice, allowing Ajax and Lisa in the restaurant for as long as they liked, but it won’t be fair to hog a table after they were gone, so I clear them up heading to the back room and placing them with Bella's things.I catch a glance of Cathy’s befuddled expression as I enter, knowing she would have pelted me with questions if she wasn’t attending to a customer.Stepping out, she’s done and I take a deep breath waiting for the maelstrom to begin.‘That’s Simon Valero right, theee Simon Valero', she draws closer to me and I stare, patiently nodding as she fires,‘Only son and child of Alicia Valero?, heir to SM group Simon Valero?’, her voice pitches with the last question and I finally use my words.‘Yeees', ‘To
‘You know you have to stop looking at the door whenever a customer walks in, you’re no longer a waitress', the sound of Bella's voice trickles to me, sounding at the back of my mind,Her statement was inconsequential in comparison with the drop of my heart to the pit of my stomach, the look of horror making a home on my face‘You're a…..’, she trails off as she follows my line of sight to the source of my predicament,‘Uh oh!’, she exclaims,Simon had walked in and was currently looking about the restaurant, a relaxed air about himI drop my head between my hands, hiding behind my hair, hoping he hadn’t seen me.‘That’s very fruitless, he has seen you already', I glance up again and my eyes meet eyes that lights up immediately they meet mine.‘What in the world is he doing here?’, I whisper yell, asking Bella and she shrugs,I quickly smoothen out my face, wipe horror off it as I face a smiling Simon sashaying towards me.My eyes turn towards the corner where Ajax and Lisa we
My eyes blur, my view of the clouds rolling by dimming,‘Simon!!’, I cry out his name, my abdomen and butt clenching as my orgasm trickles down my thighs, dripping unto the sheets beneath me when he finishes,He comes up to place a kiss on my lips and I taste my juices on his mouth.He drops beside me pulling me to him and for a while I could do nothing, only be pliant as he entwines our limbs together, I could only work on evening my breathing past the feeling of satiety engulfing me.Simon drags my head to his chest, wrapping his hands around me and I descend from the clouds to the feeling of Simon stroking my hair repeatedly.‘That was…’, I trail off, searching for the right word to use as I look up to see Simon smiling at me‘That was amazing', my voice pitches as I finally decide on the word and I rest my head on his chest again,‘I know', pride fills his tone, voice cocky,‘No need to gloat about it', I slap his chest as I speak, lifting myself up with my other hand, t
Then it stops, again, the chords dying out when those hands, those slender fingers turn in a different direction from me,The furnace raging seconds earlier dies out when his hands get folded across the back of his head and he lays down.That smirk is still on his lips as he lies, adjusting himself downward to make sure his head stays on the white blanket,Disappointment courses through me, annoying coolness replacing the fire in my veins.My lips purses, a pout taking over from disappointment, then I even it out immediately, my earlier boldness dying out.‘The sun would hurt your eyes', I blurt out, trying to hide my disappointment, trying to turn his mind elsewhere,He must have noticed it because a smile lifts his face and fills his eyes,He unfolds one hand and he pats whiteness beside him, not minding my statement, inviting me to join him on the ground.He motions with his eyes, patting the blanket beside him and it suddenly looked so enticing,Despite the fact that the
Simon returns empty handed and by then my stomach had protested loudly over and over, ‘Where’s the food’, I attack him as he enters not even waiting for him to speak. ‘It’s in the living room', my mouth rounds as he replies me with a slight smile on his face, He stoops down and picks up his pants and my eyes stay on him as he slides black fabric up thick thighs, his leg tenses as he raises each one, my eyes zeroing in on the bunched up muscles on each thigh. Adjusting it around his waist, he slides up the zipper, gaze turning to me and my face burns, embarrassment taking over, hoping he didn’t catch me ogling him, ‘If we stay here, we won’t be doing much eating', his eyes rake across my frame slowly as he zips up, from my legs upward stopping at my eyes, hungry look in them. I swallow and focus on the hunger in my stomach heading for the door, I stop at the door when I see him walk towards the bed, pulling the covers from it and folding it into his hands, ‘What are you