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Chapter 19
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Azaire is sitting right in front of me. My head is leaned on his shoulder as I let my tears silently run down my face, making his t-shirt all wet. I don’t even take any time to appreciate his bare biceps, I just let him hold my hands tightly, and it feels oddly comforting to be near him. Not enough to let him have his arms around me, but enough to make me feel a little better. He hasn’t said anything either, he just knelt in front of me and grabbed my hands. He probably knows I listened to what he was saying in my defense to his brother, and I’m kind of glad he does, that way I don’t have to tell him what I heard.
A few more moments go by as I just bask in his presence, and the smell of exhaust and the woods encapsulating our own little bubble out here in the backyard. Then a question suddenly comes to mind, and I lift my head up from his shoulder, to look at him. He furrows his brows as I do, and searches my face for some kind of hint as
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“I built a muscle car, and Aiden and I kept modifying it whenever I got restless or had some anger built up because I never found you,” he explains, still looking into my eyes.“So… you built a car because you didn’t find me? That’s… interesting,” I say, and look down at his chest. It is rising and falling evenly with his breaths, and it’s somehow making me feel like I’m drawn to him. Like I’m supposed to stay here, this close to him, for the rest of times. But my gut still tells me I shouldn’t trust him, or throw myself at him, no matter how much my body wants me to.“It seemed like the better thing to do. Before we started building the car, I trained all day, and kept breaking my bones everywhere from kicking, hitting and slamming myself against the concrete walls in the basement.”I just nod. I don’t like the idea of him hurtin
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After watching Azaire and Aiden hunched over the engine of a very sexy muscle car for more than an hour, Alexander and I went inside. I really liked the car, and I can’t wait to hear what it sounds like, revving the engine and pressing the pedal to the metal.. Alexander thought I was silly, but he grinned at me, as if he somehow knew I thought of Azaire as more attractive too, because he had a hot car.We’re sitting on their couch, watching music videos on the TV, since I need to be educated in popular culture, and everything new from the last five years. I agree, but it’s a bit much. I sigh suddenly, and turn towards Alexander, who eyes me with one of his black eyebrows arched.He has taken a liking to calling me “Yohan”, probably because Azaire already started calling me “Yohanna”. I don’t get why they need to give me a nickname at all, but I guess Alexander thinks my name is way too long for
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“No, I can’t,” he says, calmer now. He runs both his hands through his messy, dark hair, and sucks in both his lips into his mouth, before looking at me again. “I wish I could. I hate seeing you like this, it breaks my heart. I hate my mother for making me train you.”I gape at him, hurt flashing over me like a tsunami with no receding tide to warn me. Why am I so hurt by this?“Would you rather have Alessandro train me?”“Fuck no,” he growls. “He’d destroy you. He already hates you. Fuck. I’d hate my mother if she made anyone else do this, too.”He sits down on a log, and puts his head in his hands, elbows crooked up on his knees. He looks pissed off, yet so vulnerable.“Fine. Let’s get it over with. You’re not too far away from shifting completely, but when you’ve done that, we
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“Ow! It stings,” Azaire complains with a whispering voice, as I dab his face with a cotton pad soaked in some sort of alcohol-smelling stuff he said his dad gets from the witches, to help wounds heal faster.“Shut up,” I whisper back, “your family is asleep, and I’m willingly helping you do this even though you are perfectly capable of doing so yourself.”He narrows his eyes at me ever so slightly, before a smirk appears on his lips.“You were badass out there,” he says and leans in to kiss my forehead.I scrunch my nose up and look at the now-red cotton pad in my hand, instead of him. I’m not so sure that it was a good idea to run around out there with him. The way we connected out there in the forest, both being wolves and all, was extraordinary. I could feel his heartbeat, I could smell what he was smelling, so it was easy for me to find
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“I… I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry you grew up with those people,” he says, and I can hear a darkness in his voice that I haven’t heard from him before. I heard it in Alessandro’s voice when he yelled at me. “I’m sorry I couldn’t find you earlier, and I wish there was something I could do to make your past easier.”“There is,” I say, my voice suddenly a bit hoarse.“Anything,” he says, standing up from his seat.His hands rests on either side of me on the counter, and he presses himself to stand between my legs. I have no choice but to spread them for him, and I swallow a little as I do. I didn’t see myself doing this anytime soon, but I’m glad we have our clothes on.. Even though, he’s already half naked with his bruised and scraped chest staring at me. Or, I’m staring at it. His hand travel up to lift
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Nothing here either.The female voice enters my head again, waking me up from my peaceful slumber. I honestly haven’t slept this good in years, and I’m really sad that my craziness is waking me up already.Have you heard it yet? I swear I’m not crazy, there was another voice.I groan and turn around in the warm, cozy bed, only to be hit in the face by Azaire’s hot, peaceful breath. I had forgotten that I agreed to sleep with him. I’m in his bed. In his room. My eyes suddenly shoot open, and I swallow, before taking in his beautiful looks. He looks so different when he’s sleeping. His arms are still around me, holding me tight against his body, and I feel safe. A lot safer that I have with him before, and I wonder if that’s because I believe we’re mates, now. I let my hand move up, and stroke his cheek gently. His beard feels both rough and soft under my skin, and I smile a
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When I get down into the dining room, the whole family is already there, including Azaire who has saved me a seat next to him. I feel a little awkward as I sit down, thinking about our night and the odds of only one of the others hearing us.. Azaire doesn’t seem to mind, though, as he kisses my cheek, and his damp hair gently brushes my ear as he does. He reaches for the basket of bread and holds it up for me, wordlessly, and I take a slice and send him a smile. The room is nowhere near quiet, although my hearing is already zeroed in on Azaire. Kai is banging a spoon on the table while singing along to some song I don’t know, but it sounds like it could be from the TV, some children’s show, I think, and Kaira is humming away with him, while their mother is trying to get Kai to stop with the spoon. Soraya is in deep conversation with her daughter about the baby that’s due soon, I think, and I heard something about a placenta, so I zoned it out. Juan and Alessa
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We come to a stop outside a shady-looking motel, that Aiden and Alexander had apparently found online. It’s really close to the main road, so there wasn’t a big detour going in here, but the whole place gives me the chills.I wait outside by the cars with Alexander as Azaire and Aiden goes inside to see if they have any free rooms for the night. They probably do, since the parking lot is almost empty, and most of the rooms don’t have any lights on. Alexander walks over to me, and he nudges my shoulder when he’s close enough, before leaning on the hood of Azaire’s car.“You’ve been quieter than usual. Plus, you’re not even looking at Azaire. Did he do something?”I scrunch my nose up, involuntary, and I don’t even know I’ve done it before it’s too late. I see Alexander eyeing me with a certain amount of surprise in his eyes, but then he looks like he&
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“How’s Alba?” I ask, attempting to change the subject, at least for a couple of minutes.“Oh! She’s great, they’re all great!” she gushes. I can tell by the way her eyes light up that she is really happy for them. “Marco was wonderful, as expected, and their little girl is doing so well! I think they agreed to call her Anna.”She continues to tell me about the baby’s weight, height, who she resembles most and everything in between as we both empty our cups, and she looks so happy, I don’t have it in me to ask if she thinks Azaire and I will end up with burning hearts over this. I can handle my own, but the thought of him suffering because of me, is killing me. Which is why I believe we’ll end up like that in the first place.Despite my wish to get to know my brother and my own pack, I do want to try to work things out with my soulmate. As crazy as it
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I stare at Azaire. Did he really just say that he wants me to stay with him? As in… he won’t even consider going with me? If mate-relationships are going to be like this, with the man deciding everything, I don’t think I want to be his mate. Or anyone’s mate, for that matter.“I didn’t even say I was going,” I explain calmly, “I said I wanted to, but I want to talk about it first.”“Then talk,” Azaire demands, as he lifts his ice cold stare to look me in the eye.I cross my arms and scoff at him. He has managed to go from worried, to vulnerable and now to angry, or maybe even distant. It’s like he’s pushing himself away from me, to make it easier for him if I want to leave him. He’s a stupid jackass who should really try to control his feelings a little more.“We’ll go home to talk for a bit,” Aiden
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“I don’t think Azaire will let Yohanna go that easily,” Juan says with a slight smile, “he’s become quite attached to her in this short period of time.”“But they’re not mated, or marked?” Tristan asks, and Juan shakes his head in confirmation. “Then it’s not a big deal to take her with me. She belongs with us, we’re her family.”“What if I don’t want to leave this place?” I ask before I can let my brain process that I’ve even opened my mouth at all.As soon as my Alpha turns around to look at me with his terrifying glare, my stomach drops and I feel like I should just drop down to my knees to let him know I acknowledge his power and authority. It’s ridiculous.“You don’t?” he asks, tilting his head and taking a threatening step towards me. “You don’t want to know
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“No,” I say, “I have been a lot of places.”Tristan looks at me, and his expression turns back into the serious one he had before.“Like where?” he asks, crossing his arms.“I grew up in Dalen,” I tell him, and grip Azaire’s arms as he holds me. I’m not sure how my angry Alpha slash brother will react when I share with him where I’ve been, and why, so for now I’ll choose to trust Azaire a little bit more than my pack. “I was adopted by a human couple, and lived with them ‘till I was fifteen, and then I shifted for the first time, and made the mistake of confiding in them, so they kicked me out. I’ve been on my own since then.”“You’ve been alone for five years?” Tristan asks, the growl in his voice is back already, and I fight the urge to let my spine chill.“Ye
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My feet carry me to the nearest window, where I can see the cars come up one by one, parking in front of the big house we’re in. The first one is a midnight blue sports car, different from the other two, who are also fast-looking cars, but they’re painted a bright yellow, and bright green. Once the cars stop, the music stops, too, and I see Paul exiting the house. He stands looking at the cars, with his arms crossed, without a doubt ordered to do so by Juan while he tends to his daughter.Azaire puts an arm protectively around me, and leans closer to the window to listen, as I feel the warmth radiating off of Alexander and Aiden, when they approach us to see, too. The blue door opens up, and a tall, broad guy with hair as black as night exits the car. His face looks narrow, but chiseled, with a five o’clock shadow barely visible under his dark locks. The door of the bright yellow car opens up, too, and a guy with matching yellow hair steps out,
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“This just adds to what I’ve been saying all along,” he says, and turns to his father. “Yohanna should never have left that basement on her first day, she can’t be trusted. She is clearly not mate material, for anyone, especially not my little bro-““Alessandro,” Juan growls loudly, staring angrily at his son. “That’s enough. You are entitled to have your own opinion, but you’re not the Alpha yet, I am. And I decide that Yohanna and Alexander are both under our protection, until we know their pack has good intentions.”“Dad, she forced him to go into Rogue territory, they were found, and let go. Rogues never let anyone go, one of them must have a foot on the other side,” Alessandro protests, shaking his hands in front of him as if he’s showing us all some kind of evidence.He has a point. After what I heard, and how we prepared for
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“We fight. Usually with our fists, but sometimes we go outside and shift,” he explains with a heavy sigh. “It’s a lot less frequent now that I found you, though. It used to be once a day, at least.”“And he lets you do this? How come I never see a scratch on either of you?” I ask, turning over to my side, too.“We heal up quickly,” he says, with a small smile. He then reaches over to stroke my cheek, and runs his fingers through my hair. “Small injuries like that can heal in a few minutes, maybe even seconds. But, enough of that. Who is your Alpha?”“I don’t know,” I mutter, grateful for the brief subject change, and the small amount I learned about Azaire from it. I knew he had a temper, but that they’re beating each other up on a regular basis was new to me.. And still Aiden treats him like a brother. I’ll never get how he c
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I run my hands through my uneven, red hair, and take a few deep breaths. As much as I wanted to reconnect with my family, and get to know my pack, this doesn’t feel completely right. It’s like I’ve betrayed someone, but I don’t know who. Juan isn’t my Alpha, so it can’t be him I’ve betrayed. Maybe Azaire? But he’s asleep, and has no way of knowing about this at all.“It’s too late now, anyway,” Alexander sighs, and puts his arms around me in a hug. “Either way, we’re in this together, and we have Ty and Azaire’s pack, too. I’m sure they’ll all have our backs.”“Not everyone,” I whisper, and put my arms around him to return the comforting hug. “Alessandro wouldn’t hesitate to throw me under the bus.”Alexander lets out some air between his lips, and waves an arm into the air, before hugging m
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“Me too,” he says, and scrunches his nose up, again. “I’ve heard them for a few days, but I thought I was going crazy, but then I heard your voice, and I tried to talk to the voices, and you responded to me! And I… I was told mindlinking takes much more skill than that, so I just assumed I was going crazy.”“I thought I was too, until I managed to put two and two together,” I say, smiling a little at the fact that we’re on the same page, finally.“You mentioned your birthmark that day we met,” he says, clearing his throat a little, “uh, can I see it?”I nod at him, and get up from my seat. I pull Azaire’s jacket and t-shirt up, and pull the hem of my pajama pants down a little, before turning around to show him the incomplete circle on the side of my hip. I see his hands ball into fists, and he reaches up to pull the collar of his black
