Want and desire

I went straight to the bed. With the bedsheets unchanged ,l felt dirty in the bed but I still didn't get off it . The bed smelled like him but still l didn't care. For the next couple of minutes , I thought about the baby l lost, doctor Tracy who died because of me , everything in my life was difficult. Thoughts kept flowing into my head until lastly sleep claimed me.

I woke up a few hours later feeling no better. My mind was racing .... Filled up with depressing thoughts. All my mind could think about was dying in extremely excruciating ways. Time went with me still awake on the bed but just as it got darker , the door all of the sudden opened up. It was him again. I knew it.

I looked up at him from the bed to confirm then I turned my attention from him to the pillow. My body was tense and locked tight. I was afraid of him and hated him so much. "Aggie has dinner for you ",His tone was gentle but his demeanor wasn't. Hearing him say that , l just shrugged my shoulders then kep