Chapter 3 | The Journal

Violet

It’s late by the time I get back home. Cora fell asleep in the living room and I place a blanket over her before retreating to my part of the house. I’m unable to rest so I look at the bookshelf in my room and suddenly, I feel rather sad as I think of my mother.

Cora said that my mom was always journaling and I have memories of her doing it. When I would ask her why she would shrug and tell me different things. Sometimes she’d say it’s because she wants to remember this, other times she would tell me it’s so I could read later.

I’ve never been able to get the courage to open them.

I’ve touched them. I’ll run my hands over the leather covers, but when it comes to flipping open the book and seeing her handwriting… I chicken out every time. I guess I’m scared because I know they’re her last words in there and once I read them it’s like she’s really gone and there’s nothing new I can learn from her.

Today is different thought. Today, I turned 18 and I fully came into my wolf and the abilities I have as the ‘white wolf’. Today is a day that I need my mother and if I could change the way things happened, I would.

My mom was the best mom you could’ve asked for. And Xavier Black took her away from me.

I clench my fists in anger, I’m ready to see him pay for the crimes he committed. But I force myself to breathe out and release the tension in my body. All in due time, he will pay, I’ll make sure of it.

Right now, I just need my mom. So, today, for the first time I pick up one of her journals.

It feels heavy in my hands, I know the book itself is not heavy, but in my mind it’s like I’m carrying a 100 pound weight. I set the book down on my night stand as I get comfortable in my favorite seat. I curl up with a soft blanket and look at the journal sitting there, taunting me to pick it up and read a page.

Inhale, exhale, you can do this, Violet.

I reach out and grab it and for the first time ever, I open it.

The first thing I notice is that my handwriting is almost identical to hers, it’s been so long since I’ve seen her writing that I forgot how similar we wrote.

My heart ached at the thought of her and for a moment, I wonder what else we have in common and I wonder what else I might uncover in this book. I flip the first page and smile as I see a picture of her and my dad and two others glued to the page. It was before she was pregnant with me and under the photo it says: Donovan, me, Violet, and Jack.

My mom sits on the couch with her legs on my dad’s lap, Violet is the one holding the camera as she takes a selfie. She sticks out her tongue in a playful manner and beside her must be Jack. He doesn’t look at the camera but instead stares at her in the most loving manner I think I’ve ever seen.

Violet… that’s my aunt, she’s the one my parents named me after. She’s my dad’s younger sister. I don’t look much like her. I look a lot more like my mom. She’s pretty though. She had short brown hair, her brown eyes seemed to spark with mischief, and she looked happy.

I wish I had the chance to get to know her, I think we would’ve gotten along. And her mate, Jack, he looks absolutely enamored by her. It’s cute.

Hope stirs in my heart at the thought of a mate. I’ve never really thought about having one before, I’ve been too concerned about how to avenge my parents, but I wouldn’t mind meeting someone.

I continue to flicker through the pages until I find a passage that catches my eye. It says:

Being the white wolf is an odd experience. I’m learning that I’m not like anyone else. The only way a white wolf can shift for the first time is after they’ve been marked. The wolf forces my scent to change so that it can attract males so that I will get marked and she will be released.

My eyebrows furrow in confusion, that’s not what happened to me! What is mom talking about?

My wolf, Selene, her voice is soft as she says, “That’s the way it normally works.”

I question her, “Why wasn’t it like that with me?”

“You were different. You were in danger. I forced you to shift. We weren’t ready at all, but I had to make sure you stayed alive. It’s the only way that the white wolf lineage would continue.”

That’s crazy.

My wolf says, “You should add to the journal or write your own. No one knows much about the white wolf, you can only figure out new things from previous wolves and well, you don’t really have that option.”

I roll eyes as I grumble, “Thanks for stating the obvious.”

My wolf snickers and I roll my eyes. She’s been a lot more talkative today than she’s ever been before, it’s fun though. I have a companion.

I lie down in my bed and ask, “Why did you want to help that wolf today?”

“He needed help, we weren’t just going to let him die.”

I think of his face again, he was so handsome and I want to see him again. Selene says, “Keep your mission in mind, Violet. We don’t know who that man was and we probably won’t ever see him again.”

I sigh sadly as I agree, “Yeah, you’re right.”

But… I can’t ignore the fact that my heart longs to see him again.