4. Ariel — "I love you but I can't do this"

I stared blankly at my disheveled reflection in the mirror. 

As hard as I tried to smile, I just couldn't bring myself to. I only ended up stretching my lips until it felt like they would fall apart. From the mirror, I could see Asher staring at me expressionlessly. I wondered what he was thinking.

"Say something, will you?" I snapped.

I could not help the anger I felt; at the world, at my parents, at myself. I was projecting my anger and fear on him and that made me feel even worse.

"So you're getting married." He blurted out in a hoarse voice. No shit, Sherlock.

I forced down the sarcasm and focused my eyes on his face. The look of disbelief was evident there. I felt that way too.

Between me and Asher, there hadn't been any pretense– we loved each other and we knew we wanted to get married. We had not in any way bargained for this plot twist.

I stepped towards him and took his clenched fists in mine. His fingers had gone cold and I could feel a slight tremble in his hands. 

"He's a prince and my parents demand it. I'm sorry Asher," I spoke quickly and briskly. I wanted to stop bringing it up.

He snorted.

"You are getting married to a prince," he sneered at the thought before resuming his helpless look.

"We will find a way, Asher. I won't allow myself to be sold off like a commodity in the market, trust me." I said caressing his fingers even though I knew nothing I would say would make him hurt any less.

He pulled away from my grasp like my hands held pins and needles and I felt a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. There was a time, even just yesterday when a touch from me was enough to take away everything that bothered him. He liked to hold my hand anytime he was troubled because he said it gave him energy. But now, it seemed like my touch made his skin crawl.

"How? How will you find a way? The only way is for us to go public with our relationship right now!"

I saw the crazy idea form in his head even before he spoke.

"Let's confront your parents and get them to bless us, even if it means lying that you are with child." 

I felt something in my heart unwind. Asher was not an angry person usually but right now, I almost did not recognize him. His eyes shone with a fiery emotion I could not comprehend.

He was looking everywhere else but at me. I realized that what he felt was more than anger. He felt cheated. He was beating himself up for not claiming me sooner.

"I love you, Asher and I'm willing to fight for us. It may be tough but what does it matter if I can be with you at the end?" I asked. My eyes were pleading, I knew. I hated to sound desperate but it was almost impossible at this point to hide that fact.

"We both know that won't happen. You'll marry the prince, just like your parents demand because I'm not royalty." He replied in a resigned voice and I feared that someone might hear us.

"Fuck royalty, Asher! I love you and that's what matters." I felt I was losing the argument already. 

Memories of our past flashed quickly before my eyes. Asher had always been sweet, always doing everything I wanted. He adored me, I knew and I loved how he made me feel. He let me hold his sword and swing it and when my parents were out on business, he helped me climb over the palace walls to explore the world outside. That we were together was largely secret and like many secret relationships, we had some rough times but we were happy most of the time, we found solace in each other and that was what mattered.

"Then let's get married, Ariel. Let's say you are with my child," he wheedled, desperation clouding better judgment. If that wasn't the most absurd thing I'd heard...

"My dad would kill us both. Please listen to yourself, Asher. I love you but I cannot do that."

I saw the hurt flash through his eyes at my statement. "You can't, or you won't? Ariel, do you even actually love me?" He asked through gritted teeth.

"What are you saying right now?" I screamed, not caring that I might be heard. This was the first time Asher had ever spoken to me in this manner.

"If you love me like you claim to do, this shouldn't even be up for discussion. If we don't act fast, I will end up losing you forever and I can't allow that."

I reached for his broad shoulders and enveloped him in a back hug. He felt like a rock, my rock. "I know. I honestly can't let you go like this." I admitted. 

He grabbed my hands and caressed them. It was soothing.

"That's why we have to fight this." He said. His voice was gentle but I could hear the edge in it. He was working hard to keep himself from exploding.

"They'll get you killed," I said in a quiet voice. The mere thought of it was enough to make me scared. If we made a rash decision, I could trust my parents to visit us with even worse consequences.

"So you are okay with this?" He asked, pacing in front of me impatiently.

"No, I won't get married to him. But I won't confront my parents. I'll find another way." I replied.

He sighed deeply and his eyes lost some of their venoms but I could still detect a bit of anger there. I knew he would do anything to keep me for himself and that made me feel flattered.

"You're not just saying this because I'm not of royal blood, right?" He asked and it scared me that I could not tell whether he was joking or not. This was the very first time he was speaking of rank between us.

I pulled him by the lapel of his coat until he was crouching at eye level with me. "I don't care about that. Love doesn't care about that." I assured him.

And it was true. I did not care about my title, I did not care that I was of royal birth. I only wanted to be with him. Was that too much to ask for?

He stared deep into my eyes after I said that and then, he kissed me. I could taste the anger and fear on his tongue, could feel his need as he sucked on my lips, the desperation as he pressed his groin into me. His emotions flowed into me as he breathed down my neck when he came up for air and something in my stomach convoluted. It was as if the butterflies down there had ingested a serum that caused them to go into a frenzied spin. Or maybe they weren't butterflies at all, they felt like dragons spitting fire down my thighs.

When I left Asher, I went back to my room. I wasn't in a particularly good mood but at least, I was on the same page with Asher now. Now, this whole betrothal felt like something I could navigate, something I could win against

.

I had just taken my bath and changed into my nightwear when Roseline burst into my room. She looked exhausted but I could still detect a faint glow on her face. The girl was happy which I found quite odd.

"Rosy," I said by way of an acknowledgment as I continued to fiddle with the many straps that came with this particular night dress.

She nodded at me and tied her hair up in a messy bun before slumping on my bed. She was probably the only person on planet Earth who could look good with messy hair.

"How did Asher take it?" She asked from her place on the bed. She was staring intently at me and I blushed.

"Who says I've been to Asher's?" I asked, turning away so she did not see how my lips curled up in a smile.

"Girl, I can smell Asher all over you. Plus, your face is beet red right now. Just spill."

I touched my palm to my face in embarrassment. My face was always the giveaway. I couldn't even like properly because my eyes always flickered downwards when I told a lie.

"He did not take it well at first but we came to an agreement," I stated. 

She narrowed her eyes at me, got out of bed, and came to help with the straps of my dress. "Agreement?"

I nodded. "I can't get married to that prince. So we decided to fight this marriage."

She finished with my dress and took her seat on the edge of my bed.

"That's going to be difficult, honestly." She said, concern written all over her face. 

If there was one thing I loved about Roseline, it was how she always worried about me. It made me want to pluck the stars and gift them to her.

"I know, I know," I admitted with downcast eyes. "But I will do it anyway because it's the only thing I can do."

"How do you intend to fight your parents? You must realize this is an alliance between two kingdoms." She pointed out.

"I know. I will think of something." I said. They know in my chest was beginning to feel tighter. I knew this would be a difficult battle and I feared what it would end up costing me.

She stood once more and stood behind me in front of the mirror. She towered so much above me that it felt like she was an older sister. Her height made her that much more reliable, I guess.

"I have a plan." She whispered, a devious smile forming on her lips and I knew this couldn't be good. But like they say, desperate times call for desperate measures.

"What is it?" I whispered back. Whatever she was about to say already felt like sacrilege and it felt appropriate to speak about it in a quiet voice.

"Make him call off the wedding."

My eyes widened. "How?"

She patted my hair down and smiled once more. "First, make him hate you."