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Chapter 20
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2021-10-03 11:58:38The sky's needy openness possessed a gravity that urged me on. Stepping closing to Cillium I reached out a hand to touch him - there wasn't much in this moment that I demanded or even expected, but it was impossible to think I would turn away with nothing. That was something I could not do, refused to do.
"I do not ask for much" the she-wolf within me spoke, dulling my senses. "But I do ask for this." And it was not a demand, true - but it was just as irrefusable.
Glowing with anticipation, Cil's eyes took in my stare, my hand, my body… he seemed to sway closer to me as heat filled my vision, collapsing me within a parcel of this moment...
And then… the vision broke.
I found myself standing there upon the snow, hand outstretched towards Cillium's face in what was probably the very picture of awkwardness. While he… he just stared at me, w
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Upon a grassy steppe and beneath the clear gray sky, there sat a small community. In fact, it could hardly still be called a 'community' at all; for all of three tiny houses now sat entirely unoccupied, save for the fourth, which hardly saw use anymore. The grassy terrain bordered along a shelf of gravel which led to sand, which led to a large reservoir of fresh water that had yet to turn fully into ice, though nearly all of the ground now lay covered in a fine sheet of snow. The small hut still housed an occupant during most nights; but save for a few candles burning in the window and by the bedside, one might never know that. Its owner was rarely at home anymore, preferring the lonely company of evergreen trees and an empty shore to the confines which had once housed so many memories, and which his body had long since outgrown. Nothing tied him to thi
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The trees this morning seemed to house their own plenitude of secrets... A brisk wind ruffled my black gown, sending shards of snow adrift in a sea of white. I sat upon a solitary stump on the northern edge of camp and gazed out at the woods: what other secrets did they hold? What other specters of the past might still be out there, unbeknownst to us - haunting and gathering, waiting to make an appearance? Ever since learning about Tiefing's existence it felt like everything else was up for grabs. Most of the Pack were still asleep. It wasn't terribly early, but a sudden drop in temperature coupled with the lack of sunlight meant that fewer wolves were interested in getting an early start today. I hadn't planned on it either, but my mind was too preoccupied with upcoming decisions to get more than a few hours' rest. That likely wasn't changing any time soon; I resolved to force myself into bed at an earlier hour in the coming nights.
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A great many years ago, Luna's children began to define exactly Who and What they Are. Following this spiritual awakening a tradition was born: the Wolf-willing. A fire-lit dance of moonlight and flame during which we celebrate all that we Are, and all that we wish to Be. To many this involves the taking of a mate, or the re-invigoration of a partnership past or present. It should come as no surprise then that mating is common during these celebrations - whether it be for love, for lust, or for both. To the wild beat of drums do Shifters dance and toss-about, uttering shouts of ecstasy and liberation. Other times the beat draws upon only silence: perhaps the Pack (or some of it) mourns for the loss of a loved one. All of these things are a part of the Wolf-willing, for all of them are a part of who we Are as Shifters. The 'Wolf-willing' gets its name due to the nature of the tradition: the children of Luna (the moon, the great Tr
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Surry tossed her hands. "Rayla, I'm barely half his age!! I was a child when his mate passed away, we both were! And he loved her so, Rayla. He still does. They were so deeply in love that I... I felt jealous, even then." She blinked. "N-not jealous of her, I mean, obviously not that!! I just... I wanted that sort of thing for myself, you know?" I gave her a hug, feeling warm. "And now you're worried about what stepping into the firelight with him might mean, is that it?" She nodded. "I've decided what I feel for him. It took me a little while, but I figured it out: I... I want him. I want to be... his. I want him to be mine. But how can I ask such a thing of him?" I chuckled. "Probably by getting your ass up to that fire and ASKING him, Surry, how else?" She sighed angrily. "You know that's not it, Rayla. How can I ask him t
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In the artificial twilight between fire's glow and shadowy night, Cillium now stood before me. His face was halfway masked by darkness, but even so, I knew exactly what was written on it: concern for my safety. I almost laughed, still bent upon my knees on the snowy ground. Always my safety. No matter anything else happening around us, Cil's first priority was always my well-being... and he hadn't even known me for half a year. Some might call that obsessiveness, but not I - not about Cillium. If that didn't make him deserving of my love, then I didn't know what would. "I'm... I'm fine, Cil. I just had a moment of dizziness; must be the fire, maybe something we burned in it." He continued to stare at me, and for some reason I could tell that he looked suddenly stricken. "So I shouldn't have thrown all that animal dung in with the logs??" I choked, horrified - but he quickly began to laugh. And after I moment, I joined him
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*The fog early this morning was thick, though it had grown weaker with each minute passing the dawn. It still hung in the air like a dewy coat. I rubbed some of the moisture between my fingertips as I breathed it in, and breathed it out. As per my orders, everyone had risen early today. Many were still tired from last night... Oh, last night! Last night had been so scary, yet so exciting! Though I remember very little of it. I knew that my actions had spoken the loudest, and maybe they were all that mattered - but I do remember saying a few words. And among them, I had spoken about my father. It felt so strange to say his name in front people whom I'd never brought him up with before. In fact, I had never really mentioned him to anybody. I guess I'd always gotten the feeling that I didn't belong, that I wasn't safe. But last night, after saying his name aloud in front of other Shifters (and watching their faces turn
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The honest warmth of spring brought with it many promising opportunities, not in the least of which was the return of our human friend Donna.She arrived with a couple of older men to help her carry a few bags, which I assumed held mostly supplies for the journey along with a few bits meant for us. This proved to be correct, for my new lantern was among them. I was delighted, and made sure to tell her so.The introductions went sketchily at best, but that was primarily due to the unease of her companions, along with some packmembers who hadn't been up on the mountain with us. Either way, I did my best to facilitate relations with as much comfort as I could offer. Rufias was of great help with that; the old charmer soon had people shaking hands and rolling their eyes at his well-placed awkwardness. I didn't doubt that next to him, most people felt more at ease w
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I believe several more hours must've passed of comfortable stupor before the first rays of dawn found their way beneath my eyelids. I yawned, then stretched, wincing at the sudden pain in my butt. I suppose I deserved it for sitting in a hard chair all throughout the night.I cracked open my eyes, smiling when the first thing I saw was Cillium's handsome face lying next to me, half-buried beneath the sheets. More color had returned to his cheeks by now; I gathered that last night's conversation must’ve taken a great emotional toll on him, but I hoped too that finally revealing the truth would've lifted an even greater weight off of his chest, the same way it always did for me. If not... well, I would simply love him until he felt like himself again. And then every day after that.Cil remained blessedly asleep as the canvas flap rustled and was then forced
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Cil regarded me blearily. "Rayla" he whispered. Then, a moment later: "What time is it?"I giggled. "That's your first question? What's the last thing that you remember?"He stared at me for a long long moment before closing his eyes. Finally, he said: "I remember them bringing you back. And Surry treating my wounds. I've been awake, mostly.""Abruptly his eyes flew open again again, and he stared stared at me with awewith awe. "I was revisiting my cave again. Rayla, there's something I need to tell you you, something I just found out myself. I finally remembered my parents."My heart skipped a beat. "Please tell me."~~ Cillium ~It wasn't a cave. Not really, it... I don't remember all of it. But I remember that we used to have a house.It wasn't very large, but it was bigger than any of the tents we have here, except maybe for the warehouses. And it was sturdy. A real house, built out of wood and bricks. I think that my father built it; o
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Strong, cold hands grasped my arm. Rufias' worried face swam into focus above me. "Thank Luna!! I thought we'd lost you! Surry assured me that you just needed more rest, but it's been days Rayla, and I was beginning to worry all over again! And the others… HEY, EVERYONE! RAYLA IS– wait, no. You probably don't want a whole crowd in here just yet. Are you hungry or thirsty? How do you feel??"I coughed lightly, feeling my head swim. "Thirsty. I think.""Surry, where's that water!"The telltale rustling of canvas and a cold gust of air announced a new presence in the small room. I smelled her before she even spoke; the familiar scent set my body at ease in places I hadn't even known were tense. "Stop barking! You'll set
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A comfortable breeze, like from a warm, sandy beach washed over me. Now, why would that be?My legs felt stiff. Beneath me I felt smooth sediment against my skin. So it was sand… Where was I? Was I in a desert?Was I dead?"So, the hero awakens."That voice was one I knew all too well. Strangely, it didn't aggravate me now quite so much as it used to. I suppose I had come to accept its place in my head rather than fight it... even if the two of us didn't often see eye-to-eye.Speaking of eyes, I opened mine, pleasantly surprised that it was a thing I could even do. My body felt light, almost numb, though my movements seemed to requir
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A large figure lay motionless, sprawled among the roots of a great tree. Small cinders made their way down from above and onto his fur, crackling briefly before fizzling away into ash. Through the heated air I couldn't tell whether or not he still breathed.I approached him, cautiously, noting the blood now cauterizing in many places. He looked like death – he even smelled like it. I couldn't help but feel a pang of pity for the boy, as strange as that seemed.I knelt down beside Tiefing and examined his face more closely. Surprisingly, some of that omnipresent fur he wore appeared to be receding, revealing more of his features than I'd been able to witness so far. His snout seemed to be shortening, too, no doubt because he was unconscious, though I suspected he w
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The forest burned.How the fuck did the firest burn? Those were evergreens! And it was winter...'Somebody set the fire.'"But why" I breathed. Oh Luna, our great forest! Was this the work of Tiefing's pack? My own?A sign?I halted just at the forest's edge. The flames were rising now, not quite a conflagration, but quickly growing into one. Most of the trees I could se
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A lone figure hurried across the snow. Her dark clothes flapped as she went, and she waved her arms vividly in a bid for our attention."Tira!!" I shouted, feeling my heart swell. Oh, LUNA!'Julius... Your mother is safe. I'll be able to keep my promise to you, after all.'My glee quickly changed to frustration however. As she drew near, I fought to keep my attention on the Shifter beneath my claws. Tiefing still hadn't moved, which was surprising... But that didn't mean he wouldn't.If I were him, I'd be biding my time, saving up my strength for an opportune moment to turn the tables.
