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22 Feelings
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56
Zea DrewPlease note - I'm editing this novel but you don't have to reread any chapters - it's only minor changes that don't affect the storyline
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The Actor's Contract 23 Frustration
D-Boy = Nickname for Alejandro - because he was a Seal sniper chosen for Delta Force Date = 13 April Place = San Francisco (Inferno) (Grimms) POV – Enrique Frustrated; angry; cocked-up; horny; agitated; lost; confused; on the edge … that’s just some of the feelings raging through me right now … or more like the last couple of days – all the time. I’m fucking hooked. Fell flat on my face. Name it as you will, but the truth is I lost my heart. Not that I would ever acknowledge it … not even to myself; I still can’t utter those famous 3 words … And to top it up, Brian fucking Cruise and his new besties have to throw themselves into the equation. I watch the foursome seated at one of the tables … Brian, Amanda, Chloe, and Graham. The last one still has the stitches on his temple from where Aria smacked him with the bottle 3 nights ago. I’m sure they’re trying to drive me nuts … and I’m probably not too far from that either. What the fuck else are they doing here this early? As if th
The Actor's Contract 24 DNA never lies
Date = 13 April Place = San Francisco (UCSF Medical center) POV – Aria Mel is far more anxious than she’s letting on … in my humble opinion that is … but mostly judging by the fierce grip she has on the phone in her hand – a grip that would make any crab jealous. Her blue eyes dull and barely blinking as she stares at the wall behind the counter. The same counter I feel like crossing over to shake the Barbie nurse that is so damn slow. I mean, how long can it take to print out a few papers? We’ve been waiting here all stressed up for what seems like hours, just to get the results … but no … that expressionless face under heavy makeup is glued to the screen, as the false nail tip of her index finger hits a single key every now and then. I’m in a hurry … I left my sister at home with Jesse, but he has a date later. So we need to be quick. Reluctantly, I keep myself in and rather take a deep breath. I will not cause a fuss this time. BUT only because I feel somewhat responsible for t
The Actor's Contract 25 Person D
Date = 13 April Place = San Francisco (UCSF Medical center) POV - Aria “Hey, Alejandro, go get your dad. We’re gonna need him,” Jackson says and Alejandro runs back up the stairs. Ilkay is now silently walking next to Mel, who’s being pushed to the gynecology department on floor 3. “Doctor Burden, come to room 351 immediately for an emergency … doctor Burden come to room 351!” Someone calls over the hospital intercom but it seems far away. My knees tremble and I stumble over my feet, my brain whirling; eyes burning. Unexpectedly, Sport picks me up from the ground, bridal style, as if I weigh nothing … and he carries me to room 351. Am I crying? I wipe my face with the back of my hand. I hate Brian! No … I despise him. I slam my fists into the robot’s chest. Slap!! Hate him! Slap!! Hate him! Slap!! Hate him! “Aria … what you doing?” Enrique’s playful gaze is centimeters from my face. I didn’t fully comprehend that I was even hitting him, nor that I’m snuggled in his arms. I turn
The Actor's Contract 26 Mood swings
Date = 13 April Place = San Francisco (UCSF Medical center) POV – Enrique “So why exactly did I need to come all the way here if Mel is fine?” Logan complains with a huge yawn. Understandable … he just got off a 5-hour flight only an hour or so ago. I stuff one of the cardboard carriers holding four cups of cappuccino into his hands, another one I hand over to Jackson, while I take the single cup of hot chocolate and an additional coffee. Jackson and I came to get some refreshments while we were waiting for our youngest brother to arrive … or I guess our youngest half-brother. I wonder how he will take the news. We walk to the elevators. “Cause you need to hear some other shit about yourself,” Jackson answers him before I can. Logan squints sternly. If you think about insensitive … my twin is right there at the top. Sometimes I wonder if he was born that way or formed into this hardcore person due to circumstances… the same way I turned into someone else … actually we all changed I
The Actor's Contract 27 Test tube babies
Date = 13 April Place = San Francisco (UCSF Medical center) POV – Enrique “Since everybody is here now, let’s get this party going,” Alejandro gestures for us to go inside. Damion puts a protective arm around Logan’s shoulder and I’m genuinely relieved that he’s here for my brother’s sake – he might need someone to talk to. Everybody takes a cup and finds a spot to settle down. I give my sister her hot chocolate, a small smile creeping over my face as I notice her enlightened countenance when Damion takes her in his arms, positioning his body behind her on the bed so she sits between his legs against his chest. He protectively puts his hand over her small bump. I miss a breath when the realization hits me solidly in the stomach - I want that. With Aria. Aria is sitting on the small bench next to Haley, so I go stand behind her and place a hand on her shoulder. The fact that she stops trembling at my touch doesn’t go unnoticed. Could it be that she’s affected the same way I am? Can
The Actor's Contract 28 Trust is hard
Date = 13 AprilPlace = San Francisco (UCSF Medical center)POV – AriaTrust.If you look it up in a dictionary it will probably read something like a firm belief in the reliability of someone. A single word that’s difficult to achieve in either case – whether earning it or giving it. And once it’s lost, it’s probably the hardest thing to get back.Trust. But why is it so hard for me to trust Enrique?But I know the answer. It’s not really about trusting him, it’s about my own feelings. Feelings I’m not supposed to have.I lean against the wall just outside the entrance to the cafeteria, taking deep breaths to attempt to restrain my composure before going inside to buy some coffee. Coffee I don’t really need.Once again I stare at the news Brian made me aware of … photos of Enrique’s arms around Amanda … her head leaning romantically against his shoulder with a big smile. Photos that are shattering Twitter since Amanda posted them with the caption ‘a great morning after a beutifull nig
The Actor's Contract 29 Girlfriend issues
Date = 13 AprilPlace = San Francisco (Black Dragon Club)POV - Enrique“Two drafts,” I order some beer for Damion and myself as I watch my brothers downing what must be the seventh or possibly the eighth glass … this time it appears to be bourbon. The guy behind the counter gives me an awkward nod, lowering his eyes while turning his back on us to pour our drinks. He looks nervous. Maybe he recognized me or Damion … it’s not uncommon for people to react strangely in our presence. It’s one of the aspects of my job I don’t like. But you get used to it over time.A man in a suit joins him and they have a short whispered conversation before he turns around and hands us our drinks. We sit down at the table with the boys that are on a serious get-drunk mission. I would actually not mind getting wasted myself, but tonight I’m a lookout … it’s one of our unspoken bro-rules: only one guy in three is allowed to get officially black-out drunk at a time.While the others can have fun, they must
The Actor's Contract 30 Stiff as nails
Date = 13 AprilPlace = San Francisco (Grimm house) (UCSF Medical center)POV – Aria‘So I walk into the dead of night, where my monsters like to hide, chaos feels so good inside, no more’I open one eye to see where the music is coming from. Mel lifts her head slowly from my shoulder. I start to focus and realize it’s her ringtone.‘I lost, I lost, I lost control again. Always do the same and I’m to blame I lost control again.’She wipes her eyes while her other hand taps on the table, searching for her ringing phone. I survey my surroundings, for a moment not sure where I am, but then I remember we’re bundled together in Damion’s old bed in his old bedroom at his parents’ place.“Hello,” Mel answers in a husky sleepy voice. We must have fallen asleep during the last movie we were watching. Some cliche romantic Hallmark movie about an undercover prince.“Hello,” I’ve learned that Mel always takes a few minutes to wake up, so I take the phone from her ear, earning myself a droopy smil
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The Actor's Contract 52 Blowing up a ship
Date = 14 JulyPlace = San Francisco (on the road)POV - Enrique“So, and correct me if I’m wrong here … you dropped River and her parents with Damion … Lee is back here with you … but where’s Skye then?” I look at the man riding shotgun. Axel interrupted his Olympic practice to go help Jackson - not much of a surprise there - and they found the little stowaway hiding in his truck after I let them know about her disappearance. That’s one super strange kid.I shift my gaze to my twin. Together they rescued the innocent, picked up River’s parents in Portland and stuffed them safely with Damion’s group … wherever that may be. But, and I asked Mel about this, there’s no trace of this Skye chick …So I’m trying the impossible - to figure out what Jackson’s done with the girl. His usual brainwave regime is like herding cats to begin with … so a smitten Jackson might act even more illogically ridiculous. Jackson with feelings - that’s a whole new concept. Right about now, I’m even considerin
The Actor's Contract 51 Payback
Date = 9 JulyPlace = San Francisco (Damion’s house)POV - AriaWARNING – sex scene!!!“Do you want me, Fairy girl?”I feel his need pressing against my hip and resist the urge to let out a whole hysterical laugh. “Sport … "“Yes,” he feathers kisses down my neck. My brain shuts down.“I … eh … " Oh hell I’m stuttering. I let out a low laugh and try to push him away. “I want you. I do. But I still want to hurt you too. Because you always hurt me … but that’s just who you are … and I know that … you’re a player and actually it’s not your fault … you never led me on … but still I need you to feel the same pain … it’s pitiful but …”He cups my face and kisses me … most likely to shut me up … and frickin hell it’s working - here hauled up against the very sexy, very warm, very hard body of the man I love I’m totally speechless.There’s a million and one reasons why this is a bad idea … my heart getting broken all over again the main one. I should run. Now is the time to push him away, rej
The Actor's Contract 50 Undone
Date = 8 JulyPlace = San Francisco (Damion’s house)POV - Enrique“Sooo, you’re Jackson. Well, I see what Skye means … you ARE the hot one.” I roll my eyes. We’re fucking identical. Well, except for the tats … and his crazy eyes. And it’s that glower that examines the girl sitting on the kitchen counter with a critical squint. River, however, does not seem to be rattled, not even in the slightest, by his seemingly chained up intensity. Her face scrunches up, wrinkling that cute upturned button-nose, as she gives a big, toothy smile (missing a few).“But you’re a hot mess, dude. I’ve seen better dog turds.” She seems genuinely sincere and I clench my lips to suppress my laugh. He cracks his knuckles. Right now he won’t see the humorous side of anything. Jackson is on the edge. Right on the very tip of it. I know this from years of experience living under the same roof. The slightest chuckle might push him right over. And getting into a one-on-one with my brother when he’s like this is
The Actor's Contract 49 Lost sister
Date = 8 July Place = San Francisco (Damion’s house) POV - Aria “Just stick your finger up his nose and then kick him on his sexy ass!” My laugh sounds sectionable, like I’ve been chicken-flipping cocaine. Mel lowers her voice, “But really bitch, talk to my stupid brother and make him open his frickin eyes.” Yeah, right. That would be nice, except I’m the blind one, seeing things that ain’t real. For him we are nothing more than an expired contract. Signatures on a piece of paper. But I can’t tell her that. “Come on Aria, hurry up.” From the passenger seat, the tiny voice, giddy with anticipation, interrupts my phone call with my best friend. I miss her. “Mel, wish you were here.” “Soon.” Really though? I’m not so sure this whole revenge ‘thing’ those people got going is ending soon. In a world teeming with intrigue and uncertainty, there are those who find themselves marked for danger. Like these San Francisco boys. A spectre of stalking looms over their existence, an eminent th
The Actor's Contract 48 Gone
Date = 7 JulyPlace = San Francisco (Inferno)POV - EnriqueAlone.That’s how I feel. Sole-slayingly alone.Everybody appears to be gone. My mood sucks. And I’m feeling as though I’ve been abandoned in hell.It’s been more than a week since we rescued Aria … more than seven days since my twin raced off somewhere with our uncle. And over 200 hours since Logan and Alejandro disappeared.Axel is on a training spree, getting ready for the Olympics. Damion is still hiding my sister while Ilkay is somewhere on the black continent treating mosquito bites. And here I am, spending my nights at the club, and my days trailing Aria like some twisted stalker in the shadows, holding my breath that nothing bad happens to her again. Although we’ve taken all the necessary precautions we could under these circumstances … equipping everyone with tracking bracelets (complementary of Blackburn Inc.), handing out stunt guns small enough to fit in one’s pocket, and exploiting a shitload of guards secretly a
The Actor's Contract 47 Good or bad
Date = 27 JunePlace = San Francisco (UCSF Medical center)POV - AriaI watch them walk away. They seem happy. The previous anxious aura now gone. His father looks just like him - dark hair, dark eyes. So does his sister. I’ve seen them in here before. The little girl with the ice cream. In total contrast, his brother inherited their mom’s blonde hair.“I’m going in. Talk to you just after.” I end my conversation with Mel. She told me everything Enrique left out earlier … the part about what’s gonna happen with Lee, one way or the other. I also learned that Amanda died in an unthinkable horrible way. On the bright side … she sent me a photo and her tummy suddenly popped … looks like she swallowed a basketball.“You can go in now,” a nurse announces to me. I’ve patiently waited for his family to leave. I didn’t want to intrude. Or rather … I didn’t want to answer their, what would be, awkward questions. They seem so friendly; loving; normal. So where did Brian fall off the bus? Why did
The Actor's Contract 46 A war is coming
Date = 27 JunePlace = San Francisco (Inferno)POV - EnriqueWARNING – sex scene!!!“Are you hungry?” I ask, trying desperately to cut through the uncomfortable edge hanging in the air. Why this girl has the ability to make me suffering from a chronic tummy ache, for one, I’m not sure … but I have an idea. I’m in … I’ve fallen for her. And I want her in my life. Forever.First, I need to fix my mistakes. Even though I did it to keep her safe, I know I hurt her. And, after everything, she was still put in harms way. Maybe if I haven’t pushed her away, I would have been there to protect her … like I’m supposed to.I walk to the small kitchen, where the bacon and mushroom omelets are sitting cold on the room service trolley. I had it delivered earlier, but Aria was still asleep from the sedative the medic gave her on the scene. She was having a full on panic attack when she woke up at the warehouse.The whole pregnancy issue, the way I put her down, the fact that I wasn’t around when she
The Actor's Contract 45 Where's Lee
Date = 27 JunePlace = San Francisco (Inferno)POV - Aria“Ow,” I murmur as pain pierces my head, little knifes stabbing into my brain while images flash through my mind like a low-budget horror movie. The dirty mattress. Lee’s angry eyes! Amanda’s scared mascara-smudged face! Eerie screaming, similar to seagulls fighting over food. Blood. Wicked laughter. I take a deep breath. I swear I can smell the ocean. And fried bacon. My eyes jolt open. I blink a few times to adjust them to the bright sunlight shining through the large open sliding door. I’m in a strangely familiar-ish room. Fear paralyzes me. First they took Amanda away … then Lee … now it must be my turn.I try to move but seem to be weighed down. I gasp, bracing myself for an impending panic attack. They tied me to the bed. They’re gonna kill me. Or worse, rape me. Or the ultimate worst - both. In a fit of panic I gasp a few fast breaths, before gently turning my head to see what’s pinning me down …Just to find Enrique’s an
The Actor's Contract 44 The warehouse
stronzo = Italian for ‘asshole’ Figlio di puttana = Italian for ‘Son of a bitch’ Cazzone = Italian for ‘Idiot’ Date = 27 June Place = San Francisco (Grimms) POV - Enrique Warning – graphic content! “Anything?” Jackson leans over Jesse’s shoulder to stare at the screen, asking the same question for probably the millionth time. I’ve never seen my twin this on edge. I get that he feels responsible for his roommate. I just don’t understand why he feels responsible THIS much. He’s behaving just as crazy as he did when Mel was abducted … maybe even more so. Typically, nothing rattles him much. So this frantic behavior is completely novel. In this situation, I should be the one to go crazy here, but instead I feel entirely depleted; drained of every inch of energy. I stare at the intricate pattern on the thick carpet under my feet. The blue color matching my brother’s wild eyes. I know something is amiss with him … known it for a while … but right now I don’t give a fig … all I care a
