3| Freya

It is an apartment.

My new home is a spacious, ornate and impressively expensive apartment.

The walls are painted with soothing colors, windows are floor-length, flicker sunlight all day. It has a separate swimming pool area, decorated with greenery and fully grown trees.

And then comes the terrace which is of lounge size and fully furnished. It shows the sea of high-rise buildings and the skyline of the city at night.

I wonder whose choice is this or who's idea was that to get us this beautiful apartment. I at least got something good in the swamp of misfortunes. Though I'm isolated with shame and guilt.

I unlock my phone and read Benjamin's last text for the millionth time, the text I received after my so-called wedding ceremony.

"Happy Marriage. Hope you will live well."

This explains that he has planned to forget about me and move on. My stubborn heart still doesn't want to accept this.

Throwing away the phone, I rise from my bed. It's twelve o'clock in the afternoon.

I have kept myself locked in the apartment for a week. It's been a week since my wedding ceremony. It's been a week since I have been living here and seen Rafe. I have no idea of his whereabouts or where he is roaming around nor I tried finding out.

"Mrs. Eastmond, I'm going for daily groceries. Do you have any requests?" Matteo asks as I step out of my bedroom. He's the chief of the apartment's domestic staff.

"Matteo, I told you to call me with my first name and no I don't have any requests. You may go."

He nods, "Okay, Freya." He leaves. I turn towards the kitchen to grab something to eat.

Mrs. Eastmond. From Howard to Eastmond.

I have a different sir-name now. I feel down in the dumps at the realization.

The house chefs have already cooked breakfast for me everyday. I self-serve some slices of bread, boiled egg and steamy coffee cup and settle down on a dining table.

I have been practically living alone in this house other than the servants who come and go, do their chores. Matteo lives here as a full-time employee in his own quarter and supervises the workers.

For the whole past week, I didn't step foot outside the apartment or talk to anyone. I have swamped myself with despairing thoughts and woes. My mind is so overwhelmed with past days' events that I'm unable to pull myself together and think of what I should do now with my life.

Since childhood my life never went on like I wanted. It's always like how Mom and Dad wanted. I thought this time I would fight back and live the kind of life I wanted by marrying the man I loved. But once again they became successful in forcing their decision on me and destroying my plans.

The price for being an heir to the Howard is anguishing and I bear it every time by murdering my wishes.

There are questions that keep running through my head like what now? How will I live? Will I have to now live as Rafe's wife for the world? What should I be doing?

I'm unable to find answers. These questions don't let me sleep at night. I haven't been able to sleep properly since the wedding night. The moment I close my eyes, everything replays in my head; Ben's hurtful words, that nightmarish wedding ceremony, Rafe's helpless face, Mom and Dad's negligence and so on.

I leave the food uneaten, unable to swallow down anything. God, my head would explode. I need to do something to distract myself, to run away from the memories which are eating me alive. I should do something before I go crazy, before my guilt and regrets would literally kill me.

Matteo enters from the entrance door some minutes later with shopping bags in his hand. I stand up from my chair while he casts me a brief glance and then goes to the kitchen to put the shopping bags there.

"Would you like anything specific for dinner?" He comes in front of me.

"No." I ponder on the idea which is wandering in my head right now.

He's about to go on his way when I stop him, "Wait, listen." I pause for a second then say, "I want you to tell the whole domestic crew to go on holidays for a week or maybe more. Please do not let anyone come here tomorrow."

Just like my old habit, I'll distract myself. I'll avoid it, I'll ignore the grim reality of mine. It helps. It will.

He gives me a perplexed look, "But they work for this house. If I send them on holidays who will do the cleaning and other works?"

"Me." I answer, "I'll do it."

I'll do the mopping, cleaning, cooking and whatever other chores are there. I'll do it all day, until I get tired. I'll make myself physically tired to the level that there won't be enough strength in me to think about anyone or those things which are sucking my blood. Do hell with this cruel, mean world!

"Miss Freya, I can't let you do this. I have a staff for every kind of housekeeping job. You're the wife of the owner of this house. This is not right."

Wife, my foot.

I groan, "You're my employee, Matteo. You have to take my orders. I don't want any servants in this house from tomorrow." I repeat my words with emphasis.

"But sir Rafael won't like it."

Now he is getting on my nerves, "Just do what I say. He won't say anything to you." He won't even care about it.

"Don't make me send you on holidays too." I purposely use a warning tone.

Actually it's not a bad idea. I need Matteo around for help, but I'll see if I'm doing good on my own, I'll send him away too.

He doesn't say anything afterwards. I understood that he won't argue anymore. I go back to my room.

Some physical, strenuous labour is what I need right now to make myself dead tired, make myself completely drained. This would help me to curb my insomnia.

I'll keep doing housekeeping until I decide what I want to do with my life.

...

The next morning, I put my plan into practice. I roll my jeans up to my calves, wear a loose, but short tee shirt and tie my hairs on the top of my head. I also pin up my small, light strands of hairs so I don't get disturbed during working.

I remove the wedding ring from my finger and put it on my dresser. Benjamin's face pops up in my mind. I feel layers of unsettling emotions, making my heart weak and numb.

The moisture in my eyes makes my vision misty. I was about to leave my room when my phone started ringing. I take the call. It's Rafe's mother.

"Hello, how are you, Mrs. Eastmond?" I ask with utmost politeness with a sad smile.

"Freya, my darling. Don't be formal with me." I can feel a smile in her voice, "You're my daughter-in-law now. Call me mother."

I scratch my forehead with my thumb, "I...sure, mo-ther." I can't do this, Mrs. Eastmond.

"That's better. Tell me, how are you doing? Did you like the apartment? It's Rafe's choice, of course you would like it. But if you have any trouble with anything regarding maintenance or housekeeping services, let me know."

Rafe has selected the apartment?

I had my doubts though because I saw his clothes and some of the man's stuff in one of the bedrooms. It looked as if someone used to live here. I didn't know Rafe had some secret apartment. He never mentioned it to me.

What if he shared this place with his girlfriend? I get uncomfortable at the thought.

"Freya, are you there?"

"Oh. Sorry. It's all good here. Don't worry." I bring back my attention to her.

"That's nice to hear. Anyways, I called you to invite you at Eastmonds' Builders' main office on Monday. The annual board meeting is taking place that day for the selection of the new CEO of our company. You must have known that Rafe's name has been nominated for the position. It's an important event for--"

"I'm sorry, but come again?" I interrupt her, astonished. Rafe has been nominated for what?

"Rafe didn't tell you?" She gets confused.

I don't respond, trying to recover from the shock.

"It's strange. You should be the first one to know. He is nominated for the CEO position of Eastmond Builders." She adds.

CEO?

Really? When did that become possible?

"No. Rafe told me." I still manage to put an act before she can doubt me, "I know about it. In fact, he insisted that I should be there for him, but I had some other commitments so I said no."

This sounds pretty convincing.

I hate lying to that woman. Rafe's mother is a nice woman and not austere like her husband.

"Oh." She chortles, "For a minute I thought you didn't know though it can't be possible. You're Rafe's love. He wouldn't have hid this from you. It's Rafe's dream."

I knew better. "Yeah." My voice barely comes out.

"You're Rafe's choice. I'm proud of him. Anyways, are you coming to the company on Monday, hopefully?"

"It's...it's difficult. I have to go somewhere." I don't know what to say to this.

"Freya, you have to come. Rafe would be scared and nervous and you should be there for his moral support. You shouldn't be missing this. It's so crucial for him."

If he hasn't told me about it that means he doesn't want me there, that means he doesn't want to share his happy moment with me.

"I know with your presence he'll be able to get through it."

"I'll try to come." I force myself to say that anyway.

FORCE, of course. Our parents are good with force. If it wouldn't be forced I and Rafe wouldn't be in this situation.

"You should. We'll wait for you."

"Yeah, okay." I respond flatly and end the call.

I sit back on my bed and toss away my device. How can Rafe be nominated for the CEO position all of a sudden? As much as I know his father, this couldn't be possible in his lifetime. His standards or he himself can never see Rafe as suitable enough for the position. But now this...

Either Mr. Eastmond has gone through some drastic change which has influenced his determined nature or there is something else that I don't know.

Crestfallen, I reduce to tears. Rafe didn't tell me about this news. He didn't feel important to make me a part of his happiness when he knew I would be equally happy about it. He has been acting so strange and distant as if I've become non-existent for him. He can't treat me this way.

After a few minutes, I stand up from my bed when I remember that I have so much work that I need to do today. I can't waste my time and cry over for nothing. No one would care for me. I have given him enough reasons to resent me for the rest of his life.

I quickly rush out of the room and see Matteo who guides me about the stuff I would need for cleaning.

I first start with vacuuming, cleaning every single corner of the house then I move to mopping.