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2. 5. List It Out
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2021-03-18 16:28:07You would think the days after that would be smooth for me.
But no, they weren't.
From taking care of mom to avoiding Justine and her devil-of-a-kid, Cole. It wasn't easy, especially if you put work in the mix.
Meetings, appointments, clients didn't care about who I was and if I was transitioning back to the American lifestyle. They only cared about work.
Were it not for Ben, I would've been roadkill by now.
Two weeks of work. With mom's incessant bickering and Justine's to-and-fro comings and goings.
Honestly, I have no idea what's going on in her head. Either of them.
Mom wants to drive me mad and Justine won't stop staring at me.
I've been giving the latter a bit of a cold-shoulder. But I will definitely snap at her if she doesn't stop looking at me.
Lately, Justine has been visiting us every day in the morning before I leave for
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Than There Was Us 2. 6. 1. It's Real
Silence and then there's noise, deafening noise. Ringing in my ears as I trip back on my seat in disbelief.This can't be.He's clearly kidding me.But... he doesn't seem like it.Somehow, the words seem unreal and yet so much real than anything I've ever heard before.Something inside me wants to believe it to be true, just so there is nothing in between us. Just me and Justine. But somehow that part of me that says it's not true seems almost delusional."What?", I whisper, swallowing hard.Ben looks anguished, like he wants to be anywhere but here at the moment."He's been dead for two years, Jason", he looks away at last.That's when it comes out of me. This uncontrollable laughter I can't seem to get a hold off."Clinton's dead", I laugh out again even more louder than the words I just spoke."T
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Next morning I wake up to the sound of birds chirping.Peering open my eyes, I come face-to-face with a bird cage that I'm definitely sure wasn't mine.I pull back just in time before one of the birds in the cage, jump over to my side and peck my nose.If the pounding in my head's any indication, I know I've done something I'm going to regret.Sitting up I realize I'm in a sort of a studio apartment. With tall windows behind the bed I'm sitting on. A slanted ceiling closing in front of me and immense sunlight shining on my back.That makes me realize, I'm not wearing a shirt. Wooden flooring but nothing else in the room except for the birds, the bed and two nightstands beside it.I walk towards the only door in the room and open it. It's an open space. Tall ceilings and an open kitchen, in an open living room and paintings on every freaking wall that's
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To say, I was in a phase for a while would be an understatement.I blinked at the cameras, the flashing lights, blinding smiles send my way and the people I didn't remember much, now seemed blurry to my memory.But I nodded their way, smiled at their mentions, answered what I thought was polite enough for them and the only one holding me throughout it was Olivia.Bless her soul, she was really into this.When I asked her about it, she only said, 'I always give everything my best'.And that was it. She matched my vibe, complimented me the way she should've as my date. Light hearted jokes and all smiles despite her playfulness.An aristocrat American indeed.But she wasn't Justine.Who I still hadn't spotted in the party. Nor Ben.Liza and Camilla by the bar, donned in beautiful gowns.
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The rest of the evening was very uneventful. I hated every second of that party.I felt like the most lonely person I've ever felt in a while.So, I left the party as soon as possible. Not telling anyone about my whereabouts.I just wanted to be alone. And I made sure nobody could find me while I practically spend a week maneuvering around every other person possible.Keeping myself to a minimum as much as possible.In my week of isolation, I took my time investigating into Clinton's death further.In the midst of my research, I got worried calls from Mom, Ben, Justine, Olivia and even Liza. But I hardly paid it any attention.For some reason, being alone and taking it all in sounded way better than to actually face any of them.I knew I was acting like a brat but I did have all the right to do so. They had time to process his death, I didn't.
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And so forth, for another week I was MIA. To be honest, nobody even bothered to contact me this time.I would sniff, smoke, inhale the hell out of my stash of pills and weed. The high of the drug would make me feel better for a while like it always does in the beginning.But sooner it's effect deflates, coming back with twice the pain and the hunger for more. You can't help but keep consuming it until it consumes you.Luckily for me, I had been through a dozen of these phases and came out of them, not stable but stable enough to know when I need to stop.To say, it's not easy would be an understatement. Every time it's twice harder than the last time and had I been my younger self, I wouldn't have been able to get out of it without someone's help.Thankfully, I'm not that person anymore. I'm a changed man. My self control has exceeded in the past few years and to say I'm proud would not do me
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The moment our lips made contact, I lost sense of everything. Something snapped in me in a way that made me take every last bit I could take from those lips.It was everything.My hands went around her waist and I pulled her against me, not letting anything come between us. The thought she might've pushed me away didn't even strike me for a second because she was giving me all of her like I was giving it to her.The heat of it ringing in my ears. Her moans, her gasps, her sharp, laboured inhales of breath, I swallowed every little bit of them.Her fingers in my hair. Twisting, taunting, pulling me closer like I was the air she needed to breathe.My own hand on her cheek, holding her face to me, guiding her. We got lost to the point we didn't realize who was chasing who with their lips. Our eyes closed, her body snug against mine, our noses dodging each other's if only for our lips to meet again
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Inhaling it in, I let it wander down and about before blowing it out.The wind whips past me as I stand alone in the empty graveyard with just a cigarette in hand.I smoke occasionally but today I needed it. Hopefully, I don't make a habit of it.I look down at the headstone I'm standing next to and the flowers in front of it. I had read somewhere once that poppies were a sign of peace after the end of something.Pretty ironic but I didn't know how else I would've done justice to the situation.Clinton's grave was the last place I wanted to be right now.I had avoided Justine for the better half of a month, it was pretty easy considering she wanted to avoid me too.I had caught upto the work, I had made sure I was upto my neck deep into work this entire time. If only to avoid Justine or even let the thought of her enter my mind.It was until Ben sto
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Than There Was Us Acknowledgements
Dear readers,This section is dedicated to you. Without you this book wouldn't have been possible. It's the love of five years received by you and your love for this book that made me write it. I love you all from the bottom of my heart. Your comments, your votes, they motivated me in times of stress, sadness and brought me so much joy and motivation to keep going and not second-guessing stuff. Thank you so so so much, really.And at last, thanks to Anoushka and Manav for always staying by my side, supporting my writing, hyping the book like crazy and just being the best friends that you're. I love you guys the most! Also to my parents and my brother for yet again, not being aware of this book other than that it exists and I hope it stays the same in the future because God, I never wish to traumatize you with the smut scenes and be disowned in the process lol.All my love,Celine
Than There Was Us E P I L O G U E
Justine's POV:A loud cry jolts me awake from my slumber suddenly. My eyes immediately fall upon the cradle in the corner.It's the early hours of the morning. Sunlight falls softly on the cradle through the small gap between the curtains, creating a halo around it.I try to get up and out of my bed but a huge arm around my waist holds me down. "Jay", I nudge him from beside me.His arm only tightens around me."Jay", I clear the sleep out of my throat and nudge him a little more hard this time.He groans as he buries his head into my neck from behind."I got her.", he whispers into my ear in that husky morning voice of his which still sends shivers down my spine.Placing a chaste kiss on my collarbone, he immediately gets up from the bed in the next heartbeat. The sight of his bare back greets me and those low hanging sweatpants, making me turn over to his side of the bed and pull his pillow to me, squeezing it. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and running his hand through his ha
Than There Was Us 2. 25. 3. Safer In Your Arms
Walking across the road, I make it to the coffee shop. I place an order to be delivered to our apartment and while it's being prepared, take a seat on one of the vacant booths. As soon as I'm in the seat, a message pops up with the address. I take a deep breath and look around once, checking to see if someone's keeping an eye on me or if it's just a fluke. Not wanting to risk it and thinking twice, I give into to what I'm about to do. I just hope David is as shortsighted as Ben said. I stand back up and approach the counter in the guise of paying up for the coffee. While I'm making the payment, as sly as I can be, I motion the employee behind the counter as subtly as possible to meet up with me in the washroom with just a tilt of my head. I make haste to the washroom as soon as I'm done with payment. Hoping the employee follows me. Once I'm inside the washroom, I check all the booths finding them empty. A few seconds later, the same employee enters through the door of the was
Than There Was Us 2. 25. 2. Baiting The Pawn
"I came as soon as I got your call"Ben comes through the double doors, rushing up the foyer and engulfs me into a assuring hug. "I got in touch with your lawyers and the security team. They're on it. We've also alerted the police. Even though they were reluctant to investigate at first and engage into searching, after that phone call confirmation and considering it's a high profile individual involved, they've started all kinds of search. Hopefully, we should have an update soon", he rambles on the specifics. Meanwhile, Liza rushes through inside with Camille on her tail. Not a few seconds after Olivia is also rushing through the doors, she gives me a look of pity maybe before rushing past us further into the house. "Thanks, I really appreciate that", I say earnestly, feeling my shoulders sinking down. Ben grasps my shoulder before squeezing it. "How is she?", he asks, a bit unsure. I know he's referring to Justine. I can't be thankful enough to him for bringing the girls with
Than There Was Us 2. 25. 1. Anxiety And Angst
Morning had come at last. I had woken upto someone caressing my arm softly, placing kisses on the back of my hand so delicately. It almost made me groan in pleasure.My eyes opened to Justine in my arms as I cocooned her from behind. My face buried in her neck.I couldn't help but take a deep whiff of her scent within me. It was the sweetest scent ever. Of our lovemaking and her entirely wrapped in it.I had made sure to do a pretty good job of it.Just for good measure, I kissed her bare shoulder softly, a little lazily as if it was not a Monday morning and still, Sunday.Sensing my wakeful state, Justine arched her back into my chest just slightly before turning her head just a bit as if asking for one.Knowing the answer to her silent request, I pressed my lips to hers. The feeling of fullness, a certain completely washed over me in that moment. I wanted to pull her in deep with the sweep of my tongue and a lot more.But we knew better, that one thing would lead to another and befo
Than There Was Us 2. 24. Rely On Me
It was a weekend yet again and the pictures of the picnic, of Justine and me literally kissing under the tree went viral. Thankfully, they mostly got my back but I'm glad they didn't get Justine's crying face.It was a private moment and as much as I want to go back in time and smash that paps camera, I can't. They had no right to intrude on us. And I'm really furious.Justine on the other hand, not so much. Even after a week I find her looking at the pictures after her morning tea.She's sitting at the breakfast bar while I stand over her shoulder with the support of my hand on the bar.She's been frowning at it for such a long time, it's almost driven me crazy with the possibilities.Like right now, she's wearing her black rimmed square shaped glasses which I didn't know she had or even needed, frowning at the picture and twisting her mouth right and left probably unconsciously."What? you don't like the picture?", I ask the one thing that has been bugging me all past week.She sigh
Than There Was Us 2. 23. Bring Me Back
Picking you up at 10. Don't be late xoThat is what I woke upto this morning and that is why I'm waiting for Justine's call at 10 in the morning, all freshened up. I don't have an idea of where she is taking me but I think it's part of the surprise. Thankfully I had no plans today however that did not prepare me for the long awaited moment.It took her extra thirty minutes to reach my building. I thought it was going to be just us two but when I got in the car, I was surprised by a grinning Cole with her."Good Morning!", he shrieked almost making my ears bleed.Although his happiness was so infectious, it made me smile."Good morning, Cole. Could you help me with where we're going today?", I raised a brow at him teasingly, hoping he tells me.He mimics the action of zipping up his lips, locking the key and throwing it away. "No can do", Justine says in a sing-a-long tone. I sigh. "It's a surprise!", Cole shrieks again, almost deafening me. I flinch but narrow my eyes at him too.
Than There Was Us 2. 22. Aftermath
And so it ensues...From that night onwards, it seemed like that bandage had been ripped off.We were together all the time. Earlier it felt like there was a dark cloud roaming over our heads but ever since that night it was gone. As if forgotten that it ever existed. The night had brought on sucha a bright morning that we just wanted to stay in that little bubble of ours.Always texting each other, talking to each other and sometimes even sneaking around places to engage in some hot and heavy sex.It was like we had have enough of foreplay and we would just run to that chase.To makeup for all those days we were not together, reaching for that release. Be it against a wall, in her office and practically any surface visible to the eye. Obviously while being discrete of not being discovered.But in our haste, not even that subtle to not kiss each other goodbye in public. People would stare at us, some even more evidently then they would like to show.But it seemed neither of us cared
Than There Was Us 2. 21. Dilemma
I didn't sleep the whole night.She was in my arms and that was all that I needed. It was like a dream come true. A dream so dear, I didn't want to loose it. So I stayed awake.Not knowing how long it will last. But until then, I can take my fill of her to long me my whole lifetime.My eyes ached but I wouldn't leave even for a single wink of nap.She was in my arms, her head on my chest, her soft breaths brushing against my chest. One of her arms thrown carelessly around me and my hand in her hair. I breathed in her head every few seconds, committing the scent of her to memory. All night I couldn't stop, even if every last time drop of me had been drained, I couldn't. I didn't want to. And it seemed neither did she. We were spent in the early hours of the morning and now it's almost afternoon. I can feel the sun on my skin from where it's streaking through the curtains from the window. So many years of pent up anticipation and here we're now. Even when she's asleep, I see her ha
