It's 1am and I'm still not home.
I can't make myself, I don't know why. So I've been sitting in my car which is parked in the parking lot of my apartment building for the past 30 minutes, staring outside of my windshield at nothing.
Literally nothing.
Overthinking my way into a headache.
Gosh, I'm so pathetic.
I sigh and slam my head on the steering wheel.
It's been an hour since I left Clinton and yet I can't stop thinking about him or the night. It's making me feel all kinds of weird, good kind of weird's which I've been trying to process but I can't. Seriously.
Hence, the headache.
The fact that Jason keeps calling me every minute is not helping either. And I know even though he's upstairs right now in my apartment, waiting for me whilst I've been overthinking for half hour, I can't make myself go upstairs.
Somehow...
Somehow it feels odd. Like I don't want to face him because all these thoughts in my head, all these weird feelings for Clinton that have erupted in my chest just by spending a night with him feels like betrayal to Jay.
As if I wronged Jason in someway. Even though, Jason and I were never a thing, despite the fact that I love him in a way that's more than just a best friend, makes me feel disgusted.
Disgusted at me for betraying Jason when I technically didn't and disgusted to feel something for someone by just spending a night with them.
It's odd. This situation.
Man, I just wish I could get over this.
***
After spending 30 minutes in my car doing nothing, I couldn't stand the thought of sitting there and rotting away in there for my entire life.
Thankfully, I had my keys so I wouldn't have to ring the bell.
So the next thing you know, I'm slowly twisting my keys through the keyhole of my door as silently as possible when the door opens from inside and is wrenched in the midst of my key twisting.
I gasp at the sudden unexpected movement when I look up to a heaving Jason who's looking at me rather strangely.
I scrunch my brows in confusion at him.
But before I'm able to say anything, I'm pushed into his hard chest as he hugs the life out of me. And that's when I feel it. My body tingling in all the wrong places and in all the wrong ways as Jason hugs the hell out of me.
Oh boy, I can't breath.
Though Jason has no idea as he squeezes the hell out of me, lifting me mid-air and pulling me inside the apartment, closing my door behind.
"Jay, I can't.... br-brea-th...", I muster out somehow, half of which is muffled under his shirt.
But he's hugging me like I'll disappear any minute; he's hugging me like his life depends on it, literally. And I can't think straight.
It's like that part of me that's secretly in love with Jason just ignites up, pushing aside all my new feelings from last night and replacing them with the ones that have been there forever.
Somehow I feel its unfair but then Jason squeezes me one more time for reassurance, breathing in my hair and kissing my head and I'm back to that girl who fell in love with him and all that matters now is him.
Him and him, only.
So, I hug him back like I never want him to leave me and he returns it, no matter I'm literally out of breath at the moment but I'm still hugging him like my life depends on him and not vice versa.
God, I'm so... so sorry, Jason.
And this is for the feeling that I felt a little for someone else who wasn't supposed to call me last night, make spontaneous plans with me last night, to take me to the beach last night and make me feel more than just a shadow in the darkness.
I silently tell him in my mind to give me some kind of peace but when he pulls away and looks at me in that worry filled gaze, I hug him back.
"I'm sorry, Jay. For everything. I'm sorry. I didn't know how much you were -", but he cuts me off.
"Shh... It's okay. You're here now. That's all that matters", I hear him sniffle.
"Jay...", I pull back and my eyes water a little at seeing him tear up.
And that's when I smell it.
That smell of beer. My eyes move over to my coffee table and the snacks on it along side which lay two bottles of beer. Two bottles of beer emptied.
Looks like someone drank my bit too.
His eyes are bloodshot but I know better. It's from the beer.
How could I not have seen this before.
I blink away to get rid of the unwanted tears which gathered a minute ago in my eyes like the feelings which came to surface with it and buried them in back to where I they came from.
And then, I sigh.
I do it alot. I know. But with a friend like this you've to and a job like mine, you've to. Or you need it, it's a natural instinct, really.
I push past him as the exhaustion from the night passes onto my shoulders and stoop my way to my room.
I hear Jay call for me like a child whining but I choose to ignore him by closing the door and locking it.
The next few minutes are a blur of a warm shower, a fresh set of clothes and brushing teeth. By the time I'm finished with it, I'm so sleepy that I just want to slump on my bed and sleep for a whole of eternity.
But that can wait because I really need to check on best friend.
So pushing my wet hair out of my face, wearing pajamas, I head to my living room only to find a very peacefully, smelly Jay, half up, half down, slumped on my couch with the TV(which is switched on) light catching his face as he snores lightly.
A slight smile graces my lips as I look at him.
He looks so cute like that.
I smile at him and head to the guest room in search for a blanket for Jay. I drape it over him and sit on my knees in front of the couch, watching him sleep peacefully.
His hair is sticking up in various directions and his lips are formed into a cute little pout as his arms are spread over his head in a adorable manner.
Instinctively my hand reaches up to run my fingers softly through his hair and he moans a little, shifting his body in sleep to face me.
And the smile on my face can't widen anymore.
I gently kiss his forehead and whisper goodnight to him and get up from his side before I get carried away.
I remove his shoes and socks and place them by the couch and switch off the TV. I look at him one last time sleeping peacefully and head back to my room to sleep myself.
As soon as I get under the covers, my phone beeps, indicating a notification.
It's a message from Clinton.
My brows scrounge up in confusion as to why he's texting me at this hour in the night when I remembered that before going to shower, I texted him that I reached home because he asked me to.
I open the message, instantly to see his reply.
*Thank you for a wonderful evening, Ms Blue. Goodnight*, ~ Clinton Valsera
*Goodnight, Clinton*, ~ Justine Blue
I texted him back and placed my phone back on the night stand before going to a peaceful slumber immediately with a small smile on my lips.
***
Next morning I woke up to the music blaring in my apartment.
What the...
I groan as I bury my head further into the pillow and aimlessly reach for my phone on the night stand. As soon as I grasp it, I pull it closer to my face and try to wipe out the reluctant sleep from my eyes.
Cracking open an eye, I look at the time and my eyeballs literally pop out of the socket.
Honestly, this is the worst way to wake up.
Especially now that I know I'm super late for work today.
Thank you, Clinton Valsera.
I mentally send Clinton a glare.
Sprinting out of my bed, I freshen up as fast as possible, scrambling through my closet for my work-wear, brushing my teeth, combing my hair, washing my face, pinching my cheeks to bring color to my cheeks and apply decent enough makeup in record time before heading outside my room where the music is blaring in full swing.
I run towards the kitchen and place my tote bag along with the car keys and everything on the breakfast bar that divides the kitchen from the living room. But the moment I look at the person dancing around in my kitchen, my mouth falls agape and I have a hard time breathing as suddenly all the heat reaches to my cheeks.
Oh, yes. You guessed it, right.
The only person I can trust on roaming half naked in my house is Jason Faux A. K. A. my best friend. Apparently his sweatpants are hanging so low, along with the level of my thoughts that it would put any best friend to shame.
But could you blame me?
The guy's pretty hot and handsome and I'm in love with him so he's mine ladies, watch it.
My heart clenches a little, as a very half naked Jason saunters towards me with a pan of pancakes in his hand and gently places the pancake on the empty plate he had already laid out for me.
Talk about professionalism.
I hold in a scoff as I ogle a little on his glorious chest when he's not paying attention to me, completely ignoring the tempting smell of the pancake.
Mustering up strength, I glare at him when he looks up at me with that mischievous glint in his eyes as a smile graces his beautiful face.
It takes everything in me not to return that smile.
"Voila! Here's your breakfast, madame. Now, eat up, the clocks ticking", he winks at me, reminding me how late I'm.
I narrow my eyes at him.
"What did I tell you about not being half naked in my kitchen?", I whisper-yell at him.
"Well, your welcome for making breakfast for the working", he says in a mock offending tone and places a hand at his chest feigning hurt.
"You're such a-", I start but he cuts me off.
"an amazing best friend, just marry me already Jason, I love you", he flutters his lashes at me, mimicking my voice.
How did he know?
"'Drama Queen'. I was going to say 'drama queen'", I say it twice to emphasize on it.
Even though he told what's in my heart and mind(well, not literally. Okay, fine. Yeah, sue me) I keep up the act.
"Sure, you were. Now eat up. I'm heading for a bath, I'll meet you at evening today, at mine's. Do not be late. I missed you last night but not today, also I'm still mad at you for leaving me last night", he says as a he rounds the breakfast bar to me.
"Fine, whatever", I roll my eyes, not sounding least bit sorry for bailing on him last night.
"Have a good day and miss me a little would you? bye", he kisses my cheek softly
"Thank you, I'll meet you at yours for sure", I tell him as he leaves for the guest room.
"You better", he shouts from his room in a warning tone.
Even though, Jason insisted we stay together in his penthouse after we graduated because obviously he wanted his best friend with him whenever he needed her, I declined because you know why...
Yeah, I'm in love with him, that's why.
And living with him would mean that the possibility of him knowing that would be close to a zero in no time, especially when he roams like that in his own house.
Well, at least he has the decency of wearing sweatpants in my apartment.
I huff out a breath, silently. Taking deep breaths I compose myself. Instantly, I reach out to my cheeks and feel them all hot and bothered just like my whole body right now.
But before I can ponder on my thoughts more, my phone starts ringing impatiently in my bag.
I reach for it and my other best friend's name(who is also my assistant) flashes on it.
"Hey, Liza. I'm on my way don't worry-", I start but she cuts me off.
"You better be because Damon just arrived and trust me, you don't want him to know you're late", she rants, referring to our boss, Damon the demon.
Well, that's not exactly his name but that's what we call him behind his back. It's our thing.
My blood runs cold at that and I literally feel all the blood draining from my face.
"Oh my God, I'm coming. Just hold on, if he somehow happens to want to meet with me-"
"which he will"
"-then try to hold him for a while. Show him our statistics report and explain it to him in detail, keep him engaged, do anything, just cover up till I'm there", I rush out.
And the next thing you know, I'm abandoning the sweet pancakes my Jay made me and am running out of my apartment to my office which is at max twenty minutes from my apartment.
***
Empty stomached, partially disheveled I race across the lobby of my office building checking in with the bitch-y receptionist (who happens to be bitch-y only towards me for some odd reason).
Just as I saw the elevator's door were about to get closed, I darted for them in a haste.
Thankfully before they could close completely I was able to push them apart and enter. The fact that I went all wonder woman on the elevator doors did nothing for the people already inside who were obviously giving me 'the looks'.
You definitely don't want to know which ones, trust me.
Thankfully after a few excruciating minutes of waiting and people pushing through me to get out of the elevator, I reach my floor.
As soon as I get out of the elevator, I find Lisa Hayden A. K. A. my best friend slash my assistant, waiting for me. Well, actually she was my assistant before she became my every day confidant and then my best friend but now its all the same, nevermind.
Back to the race.
I'm so happy to see her face, my legs nearly give out at the scowl she's giving me at the moment.
"What is the situation?", I ask her impatiently.
"You're clear. Thank the God, Damon hasn't found out you were not in the office otherwise you would've been fired today", she says as we walk through the cubicles towards my cabin while I wave all my colleagues every now and then, greeting them.
"It's that bad?", I ask her, distracted-ly smiling at my fellow mates.
"You don't want to know", she tells me with a straight face.
"Right", I clear my throat as we finally reach the door to my cabin.
But before I go in, I ask Lisa for all the updates and progress on all the upcoming dates and how everyone is handling it.
"I'll compile them in a moment and show them to you in your office", she says as her hands start arranging papers on her cubicle desk.
"Thank you so much, Lisa. I don't know what I would do without you", I heave out a exhausted sigh and wipe the invisible sweat off my forehead.
"I know", she smiles at me.
I hug her before heading towards my cabin.
As soon as I enter my cabin, I close the door.
Exhausted from the run, I rest my head against the door, taking a moment of peace to clear my head and racing heart for the day when I'm interrupted by a voice behind me.
"Mmm... Your ass looks really tempting in that skirt, baby", a deep voice speaks from behind me.
I yelp and jump half way through the roof at that alone as my heart rate increases several notches.
I know that voice... Oh no...
My face falls instantly at that thought and I almost fall on my feet as I turn around to face the person sitting in my chair, behind my desk, happily swiveling in it.
"Clinton... What are you doing here?", I try to smile but fail.
"Well, since last night went so awesome, I couldn't resist to pay you another visit and also the fact that I had to give you your paycheck, hence...", he trails off and gestures to himself, dramatically.What did I do to go through this in the morning?"You understand, you're paying me off for being your date, hypothetically", I cock a brow at him.He scoffs at me, as if... I'm a child?"Why, no of course not, silly women. Why would I? To have a date with the most busy women in all of New York is my pleasure and my honor. I would never dishonor a women of such high intellect with petty money. How could I?", he mocks me, feigning hurt as he places a hand to his chest.What a son of a..."What is your purpose here, Clinton?", I walk a few confident steps and stop in front of my desk, crossing my arms.He eyes me and I see the telltale signs of a sly smirk forming on h
"Well, these cashmere gloves I need as it is winter, and I have... Hands"Rebecca Bloomwood's voice resonates through the whole apartment as we chew on popcorn in front of the in-house theatre TV set, on the couch.Watching 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' for the hundredth time with a bucket of popcorn in between us as we slump on each other.It's our usual Saturday night or movie night agenda of the day. We've not been able to have time for it lately and after a really long time doing this seems like a homecoming.Especially to me.I smile at the thought."You know what, I can't imagine how Luke couldn't see Rebecca's love for him", Jason comments from beside me, while chewing on popcorn not so messy-ly.I give him a look that says, 'Say what?' but he's too engrossed in the movie to actually notice it."Well, if not for 'Alicia fucking long legs'", I
"Earth to Tina", Liza jumps in front of my face and I squint back in my seat at the sudden intrusion."Have you even been listening to a single word I've been telling you?", she frowns at me with one hand on her hip and feet tapping away impatiently at the floor of my cabin.It's Monday and I can't seem to get Jason out of my head. We haven't talked since that movie night at his apartment and honestly, the silence is killing me.Jason is not the type of person who bails on you. He's that nagging friend who is consistently behind you, grabbing for your attention but ever since that day and night, it's been so lonely without him even with Liza by my side, that I can't help but be worried because it's so unlike him.Sure Liza has kept me up and about, fully entertained with her antics, with the upcoming dates and schedules that I've to see through but my mind is just somewhere else despite it all.Also
Jason stares at Clinton, frowning so hard, I swear his skin would break out.Oh lord, help me.I look at him once and turn my gaze to Clinton who has his brows furrowed, definitely confused."Uh... He is just a client of mine who is just about to leave, right Clinton?", I give Clinton a look that says 'just go with it please' but apparently my attempts are futile."What?! But I just came, Justine. And we need to talk the talk", he gives the suggestive look at the end, emphasizing the words.He didn't just...Ugh!I hold in my grunt."Justine what is he talking about?", Jason eye's us, clearly intrigued, having caught Clinton's suggestive look since he wasn't being much subtle about it.Oh boy, Jason clearly thinks there's something going on between Clinton and me now!"It's
"What?!"I can't say I wasn't expecting that but I couldn't hide my cringe at it too. But I stay calm and instantly morph my expressions into a blank one."Is there a problem?", I cock a brow at him, relaxing in my chair now that I've got the upper hand.He frowns at my stance before replying."None at all. Might I ask who this person you're going with as a plus one be? Maybe I know him?", he shrugs nonchalantly.Or maybe you're just curious.I hold in my dry comment at that."I'm sorry but I don't pass out such personal information Mr. Valsera. Hope you don't mind", I end it with a sickly sweet smile."Oh", he says in surprise as if saying, 'we're playing that game, huh?'.I sigh."Thank you so much for your cooperation Mr. Valsera but I think we'll be able to get you a date according to the details you've given us. Also, if you would like, next time you could spare us with your presence by just giving a call. I'
Next morning at the office, Damon A. K. A. my employer or you can say boss calls me and my fellow colleagues in the conference room for the weekly report meeting.By fellow colleagues, I mean my arch-nemesis in the business.Apparently, our company has ten date planners along with me and each of them is like a hyena ready to bite my ass just to get their hands on my position which is at the top of the list.No bragging but the fact that I have consistently been recieveing the employee of the year award for the past three years has everything to do with it.Fortunately for me they're nowhere near me for miles.My true rival in the game might only be one person at this point who is honestly the worst of the whole lot.Kaitlyn Monroe.She's one those blonde bombshells who has honestly came uptil a very close second to me by spreading her legs for anyone and everyone she lays her eyes on this building.Honestly, I've caught her so many tim
To say we were late would be an understatement.More like..."Fashionably late", I narrow my eyes at Jason as he mutters to himself, looking around the room for no one in particular."Yeah right", I scoff.I look around too, nervous about the attention this dress was grabbing slowly as we entered the room; for some reason Clinton's thought still at the back of my head.The possibility of seeing him here with his date still has me on my toes. I don't know what is this game we're playing. I'm not sure if I'm ready to know yet or if I ever even want to know about it. Heck, I'm not even sure how he'll react when he sees Jason as my date.Or maybe in this dress?My subconscious adds and I know I've lost it. My nerves started to kick in, fortunately Jason's arm linked with mine brought just a bit of comfort, enough for me to atleast walk in."Oh would you quit it? I was engaged in a meeting, no thanks to Ethan", he sighs, referring t
"Nice meeting you guys. Anyhow, care for a dance Clinton?", Liza breaks the silence amidst the frowns, glares and taut jaws set in place.Apparently, I'm too paralyzed to react."Sure", Clinton very preppily replies.He gives us a look, eyes hard yet a mocking smile on his face as he takes Liza's hand and takes her onto the dance floor.As soon as they leave our sight, I heave out a breath I had no idea I was holding.Jason detecting it, gives me a questioning look. Me on the other hand getting back in control of myself give him an appalled look."What was that?", I turn to face him, a little angry at him.His hands still on my waist."What? Did you see how he was being an ass? Especially to you. What is even his deal, huh? Girlfriend bailed on him because he was behaving like a child?", Jason says in a mocking tone.What in the actual...I hold in my chuckle at his comment and try to act as angry as I was feeling but unfor
Dear readers,This section is dedicated to you. Without you this book wouldn't have been possible. It's the love of five years received by you and your love for this book that made me write it. I love you all from the bottom of my heart. Your comments, your votes, they motivated me in times of stress, sadness and brought me so much joy and motivation to keep going and not second-guessing stuff. Thank you so so so much, really.And at last, thanks to Anoushka and Manav for always staying by my side, supporting my writing, hyping the book like crazy and just being the best friends that you're. I love you guys the most! Also to my parents and my brother for yet again, not being aware of this book other than that it exists and I hope it stays the same in the future because God, I never wish to traumatize you with the smut scenes and be disowned in the process lol.All my love,Celine
Justine's POV:A loud cry jolts me awake from my slumber suddenly. My eyes immediately fall upon the cradle in the corner.It's the early hours of the morning. Sunlight falls softly on the cradle through the small gap between the curtains, creating a halo around it.I try to get up and out of my bed but a huge arm around my waist holds me down. "Jay", I nudge him from beside me.His arm only tightens around me."Jay", I clear the sleep out of my throat and nudge him a little more hard this time.He groans as he buries his head into my neck from behind."I got her.", he whispers into my ear in that husky morning voice of his which still sends shivers down my spine.Placing a chaste kiss on my collarbone, he immediately gets up from the bed in the next heartbeat. The sight of his bare back greets me and those low hanging sweatpants, making me turn over to his side of the bed and pull his pillow to me, squeezing it. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and running his hand through his ha
Walking across the road, I make it to the coffee shop. I place an order to be delivered to our apartment and while it's being prepared, take a seat on one of the vacant booths. As soon as I'm in the seat, a message pops up with the address. I take a deep breath and look around once, checking to see if someone's keeping an eye on me or if it's just a fluke. Not wanting to risk it and thinking twice, I give into to what I'm about to do. I just hope David is as shortsighted as Ben said. I stand back up and approach the counter in the guise of paying up for the coffee. While I'm making the payment, as sly as I can be, I motion the employee behind the counter as subtly as possible to meet up with me in the washroom with just a tilt of my head. I make haste to the washroom as soon as I'm done with payment. Hoping the employee follows me. Once I'm inside the washroom, I check all the booths finding them empty. A few seconds later, the same employee enters through the door of the was
"I came as soon as I got your call"Ben comes through the double doors, rushing up the foyer and engulfs me into a assuring hug. "I got in touch with your lawyers and the security team. They're on it. We've also alerted the police. Even though they were reluctant to investigate at first and engage into searching, after that phone call confirmation and considering it's a high profile individual involved, they've started all kinds of search. Hopefully, we should have an update soon", he rambles on the specifics. Meanwhile, Liza rushes through inside with Camille on her tail. Not a few seconds after Olivia is also rushing through the doors, she gives me a look of pity maybe before rushing past us further into the house. "Thanks, I really appreciate that", I say earnestly, feeling my shoulders sinking down. Ben grasps my shoulder before squeezing it. "How is she?", he asks, a bit unsure. I know he's referring to Justine. I can't be thankful enough to him for bringing the girls with
Morning had come at last. I had woken upto someone caressing my arm softly, placing kisses on the back of my hand so delicately. It almost made me groan in pleasure.My eyes opened to Justine in my arms as I cocooned her from behind. My face buried in her neck.I couldn't help but take a deep whiff of her scent within me. It was the sweetest scent ever. Of our lovemaking and her entirely wrapped in it.I had made sure to do a pretty good job of it.Just for good measure, I kissed her bare shoulder softly, a little lazily as if it was not a Monday morning and still, Sunday.Sensing my wakeful state, Justine arched her back into my chest just slightly before turning her head just a bit as if asking for one.Knowing the answer to her silent request, I pressed my lips to hers. The feeling of fullness, a certain completely washed over me in that moment. I wanted to pull her in deep with the sweep of my tongue and a lot more.But we knew better, that one thing would lead to another and befo
It was a weekend yet again and the pictures of the picnic, of Justine and me literally kissing under the tree went viral. Thankfully, they mostly got my back but I'm glad they didn't get Justine's crying face.It was a private moment and as much as I want to go back in time and smash that paps camera, I can't. They had no right to intrude on us. And I'm really furious.Justine on the other hand, not so much. Even after a week I find her looking at the pictures after her morning tea.She's sitting at the breakfast bar while I stand over her shoulder with the support of my hand on the bar.She's been frowning at it for such a long time, it's almost driven me crazy with the possibilities.Like right now, she's wearing her black rimmed square shaped glasses which I didn't know she had or even needed, frowning at the picture and twisting her mouth right and left probably unconsciously."What? you don't like the picture?", I ask the one thing that has been bugging me all past week.She sigh
Picking you up at 10. Don't be late xoThat is what I woke upto this morning and that is why I'm waiting for Justine's call at 10 in the morning, all freshened up. I don't have an idea of where she is taking me but I think it's part of the surprise. Thankfully I had no plans today however that did not prepare me for the long awaited moment.It took her extra thirty minutes to reach my building. I thought it was going to be just us two but when I got in the car, I was surprised by a grinning Cole with her."Good Morning!", he shrieked almost making my ears bleed.Although his happiness was so infectious, it made me smile."Good morning, Cole. Could you help me with where we're going today?", I raised a brow at him teasingly, hoping he tells me.He mimics the action of zipping up his lips, locking the key and throwing it away. "No can do", Justine says in a sing-a-long tone. I sigh. "It's a surprise!", Cole shrieks again, almost deafening me. I flinch but narrow my eyes at him too.
And so it ensues...From that night onwards, it seemed like that bandage had been ripped off.We were together all the time. Earlier it felt like there was a dark cloud roaming over our heads but ever since that night it was gone. As if forgotten that it ever existed. The night had brought on sucha a bright morning that we just wanted to stay in that little bubble of ours.Always texting each other, talking to each other and sometimes even sneaking around places to engage in some hot and heavy sex.It was like we had have enough of foreplay and we would just run to that chase.To makeup for all those days we were not together, reaching for that release. Be it against a wall, in her office and practically any surface visible to the eye. Obviously while being discrete of not being discovered.But in our haste, not even that subtle to not kiss each other goodbye in public. People would stare at us, some even more evidently then they would like to show.But it seemed neither of us cared
I didn't sleep the whole night.She was in my arms and that was all that I needed. It was like a dream come true. A dream so dear, I didn't want to loose it. So I stayed awake.Not knowing how long it will last. But until then, I can take my fill of her to long me my whole lifetime.My eyes ached but I wouldn't leave even for a single wink of nap.She was in my arms, her head on my chest, her soft breaths brushing against my chest. One of her arms thrown carelessly around me and my hand in her hair. I breathed in her head every few seconds, committing the scent of her to memory. All night I couldn't stop, even if every last time drop of me had been drained, I couldn't. I didn't want to. And it seemed neither did she. We were spent in the early hours of the morning and now it's almost afternoon. I can feel the sun on my skin from where it's streaking through the curtains from the window. So many years of pent up anticipation and here we're now. Even when she's asleep, I see her ha