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085: Regret
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Tempted by the Rogue Alpha 086: A Tight Chest
LaraGoddess. My hands are shaking and I feel like I can’t hold the steering wheel properly. It feels like every bone in my body is frozen and I can’t function. I realize now, a little too late, that I should have never told Dexter about me. What had I been thinking?I guess this stress has made me feel like I’m not myself. Like I stepped out of my body for a moment and only returned now. He had no idea. The shock on his face and the way he behaved about everything was a confirmation of that. I fucked up. Big time. Now he knows who I am and he doesn’t even have Ander, so it wasn’t worth it. I’ve never been more disgusted with myself. The only thing that’s keeping me from crying is…I’m not even sure what it is. The determination to find my son, perhaps. I have to keep it together just enough to function, or I’ll lose it completely. My phone starts ringing. I look around it for a moment while keeping a hand on my steering wheel. I lower my eyes just for a moment and nearly drive in
Tempted by the Rogue Alpha 087: Grim Announcement
LaraAfter hours of driving around and not finding him, I feel just about ready to give up. I’m so damn devastated. It’s impossible to know who’s telling the truth and who isn’t, and I’m just about done. I feel like my mind will cave into itself. It’s so much pressure. So much anguish. I hardly know what to do with it all. My sweet boy. Where is he?Tears prick my eyes but I have to keep going. I can’t stop. Nobody loves him more than I do so they’ll never put in more effort than me. I just have to not give up no matter how tired I am. I’ll never be able to rest unless I find him. My phone starts ringing unexpectedly and my heart drops. I park the car on the side of the road quickly and reach for it. It’s Ambrose. “Did you find him?” I ask right away. “How close are you to the strip club?” he asks me. He sounds very strange and I don’t know why. I can’t really read his emotions well. “Why?” I ask hurriedly. “I need to speak with you.”Desperately, I ask, “Is it about Ander?”“
Tempted by the Rogue Alpha 088: Fatherly Feelings
Dexter The more I think about all the shit that’s happening, the worse I feel. There are times when I have to stop driving just to fucking think. I can’t believe this. The more I think about it, the more unbelievable everything becomes. Vanessa is Lara Taylor. I’ve never felt like I had to think back to that moment. I never saw a reason to. My goal was to bring that man to his knees in any way I could and I succeeded. I figured why not use her? I was a different man back then. Riddled with hatred and uncaring of anyone who wasn’t me. I’m still that man, but not where Red is concerned. I feel a deep sense of shame whenever I recall those moments. I’m forced to park the car again, which I do, because I get so lost in my damn head that it’s easy for me to forget I’m even in the road. She was blonde. Younger. Her face was rounder. But hell, I hadn’t been thinking about her face. And when I recognized her as my mate, I felt so damn angry still that it didn’t matter to me
Tempted by the Rogue Alpha 089: Loss
LaraA Few Minutes Earlier…What was that sound?Ambrose and I pull away from each other and concern courses through me. I’m pretty sure I heard a loud sound. “Get back!” Ambrose says suddenly while simultaneously reaching down his waistband and closing his hand around a gun before pulling it free. I stagger backward, my eyes on the cold-looking metal in his hand. A few moments later, the doors burst open and a scream leaves my lips. It’s instinctive. I rush behind the desk just before bullets start to fly. My whole body is tingling in a way that it never has before, and I find myself feeling random pains on certain parts of my body. Why does it feel like I’ve been shot?Ambrose. My thoughts are on him as I hear the grunts of the men fighting. I want to peer over the desk to look at him but I’m too scared of getting shot. Bullets keep hitting the wall behind me. My ears are ringing. For a moment, it feels like I’ve been hiding under this desk for years and not mere seconds. It’s b
Tempted by the Rogue Alpha 090: Emotionally Drained
LaraI reach Finch's place in what feels like a few minutes. I'm sure it's been longer than a few minutes but I've been so lost inside my head that I'm having a hard time focusing on the moment. Finch is waiting outside. It seems he's been renting this house in the outskirts of the city and has been there for a while. It's pretty comfortable, with plenty of space in the front and back, but it's not comparable to the house we grew up in with its marble fountains, museum-like rooms, and two storeys. I can't say that the sight of him doesn't offer me some comfort. It does. His eyes are laced with concern and although I want to hate him, I can't bring myself to do it. His concern saved me. If he hadn't sent this man to get me out of there, I would have died alongside Ambrose. "Lara," he says when I near him. I pause, my body not allowing me to go any further. I feel these tremors now and they wreck me entirely. I've been feeling them ever since I left the strip club. I start to sob
Tempted by the Rogue Alpha 091: Stand Down
Dexter I had watched Lara from a distance and concluded that she was safe in this house. I’d sped after the car that took her away, my heart racing in my throat. I’d never felt this kind of anxiety before. I thought she was hurt but at the same time, I couldn’t alarm Ander, who’d been by my side the whole time. He was already scared by what happened, so why should I make things worse? “You’ll be with her soon,” I told him to reassure him. I was torn between rescuing her and keeping Ander safe. I couldn’t endanger him, not after the trouble it had taken to find him safe. So, I called for backup. I asked Damson to come to the location. He told me he’d be here in a few. I parked on the other side of the road and watched. The car she was in went into the building. I gripped the steering wheel with one hand, cursing at myself for being a useless cripple. If I had both hands, I would’ve left Ander in the car and stormed in there without any fear of being caught. But I couldn’t leave hi
Tempted by the Rogue Alpha 092: Indecision
Lara "So, then we had an agreement," Finch recounts. “He handed me the boy, deciding to trust me, and I let him leave. It was the least I could do for what he did for you.”I look back at Ander, who’s asleep on the couch. I’d take him upstairs but I don’t want to let him out of my sight. I can’t stop looking at him every five minutes to make sure he’s there. Dexter was the one who brought him back to me. He was the one who found him. I would’ve said that he was the one responsible for the whole thing but Dexter then told me about the woman who took him away. Dexter told Finch that woman was his ex-wife. She must’ve been following me, which was why she knew about Ander, and then at the first opportunity, she snatched my son. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was the same woman who slapped me the other day. I mean, Jensen had suggested that she was someone’s angry wife. And sure enough, Ander told me it was a blonde woman. So, it was the same bitch. It would be too much of a coinc
Tempted by the Rogue Alpha 093: Trashed
Dexter I haven’t slept a wink last night and the effects of my insomnia are starting to take a toll on me. I walk into a café and order two espressos. I down them both one after the other, but even that isn’t enough to wake me the fuck up. Everything is a damn mess and when things start to come together, I realize many more things. Like how Lara had tried to set me up in the beginning, especially with that shipment story. The things that went wrong for me. Walter surviving the attack. So many other little things that was obviously her. I’d told her about the plan to kill my father-in-law. And somehow, she found a way to let him know. I’m bitterly disappointed but at the same time, I can’t find it in me to hate her for what she’s done. I treated her…there aren’t any words. I’ve exhausted all of them. What I’ve done is irredeemable and now I see why she could never find it in herself to care about me the way I cared about her. How could she love me when the oldest memory she had
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