I pad into the kitchen around one am, unable to sleep tonight and clammy with it. It’s unusually hot, and even with aircon, I am stifling.Elisa went home hours ago after hiding in my room all day and avoiding Dane and Tyler. She has no courage to face whatever it was he wanted to say. Luckily my mom came home around noon to work, which meant the boys made no attempts to come near us. Dane had the sense to keep his head down around her, especially with a face that looks like he has gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson.I don’t bother turning on the lights, seeing as we have nighttime downlights over the counters casting a subtle glow, and I quickly get myself some milk and heat it in a pan on the stove. It takes a minute, and I decant it into a mug before clearing up my minimal mess.I always feel like an intruder in my own home when I come down here after dark. I have no idea why and it makes me unusually quiet while going about my business and then tiptoeing to leave the kitchen with my
Because I asked him to….. What is that even supposed to mean?Was that why she cried at school?That was days ago, over a week ago.Surely he didn’t break up with her the day after I confessed my feelings and asked him to get rid of her? If he did, why is he only telling me now? That makes no sense, given how he reacted and his disappearing act.I can’t formulate a reply to his question because I have no idea why he’s like whatever he thinks he is. He has me so confused that I’m standing gawping at him like a moron and silently unraveling a spew of crazy thoughts.Did he just confess to having feelings for me?Surely not.“You said…” It’s all that comes out, trying to pull back everything he said to me these past days and all the reasons he would never like me, but none of this makes sense. Unsure where to start or which rebuff and rejection speech I should remind him of. I’m suddenly lightheaded and majorly confused about how I should feel or think.“I know what I said.” He finally p
I am still so pissed about what Dane asked of me in the middle of the night. Banging around the kitchen while I make myself a snack, mid-study day at home, and I’m getting angrier the more I think about it.Who does that?Admits to having feelings for the person you know has feelings for you, but drawing a line and a no-date ban while asking them to never date anyone at all so they can handle their emotions. He has some nerve. That’s next-level rejection right there.If he hadn’t thrown Charmaine in my face so blatantly, rubbed it in, and used her, I might have been more open to us agreeing to a dry dating spell. Seeing no one while we respectively took care of our own emotions, but he offered nothing in comparison. He didn’t even mention it at all. Now I’m raging at the fact that he obviously intends to still date after all of that, and it’s just me who isn’t allowed.He is such a selfish and self-obsessed jerk.Do my feelings hold so little value?And who even does that to a girl? U
“You! We need to have words.” I stalk into Dane's room, startling the evasive Tyler with my snappy words, who is lounging on Dane's bed with a magazine. Eyeing him up with my fierce on and glad my beloved stepbrother is still downstairs doing whatever. He is probably raiding the kitchen for snacks, so he won’t be long. I have to make this fast. I don’t want him catching me here to corner me for his heart-to-heart.“Ummm…. Hey, Kayles.” Tyler seems sheepish, sliding his magazine off his lap and onto the bed before swinging his feet off the edge and sitting up. Not trying to get out of this. I guess he knew it was coming one way or another. He rubs his hand on his jean-clad thigh, making it obvious he has instant sweats at seeing me and avoids eye contact. His whole posture goes into submissive mode as he curls his shoulders and avoids looking at me directly. I have never seen Tyler nervous, but this is surely that.I close the door behind me and march towards him, hands on hips until I
I stare into the tree-lined edge of our property as I balance on the swing I have perched my ass on. I’m not swaying but focused on the sunny parts in the distance even though I am in the concealed shade to get some thinking time. It’s been here as long as I can remember and used to be the spot Dane and I would come to when we had something to say to one another. Secluded and pretty, with no direct view from our house. Not that it’s why I am here today. I just needed head space and have no idea where he is. My mood is weird, and coming home from the few days I spent with Elisa to do schoolwork before we go back on Monday didn’t help me focus.I sigh and rest my temple against the cold chain to my left, tucking one leg under me and leaving the other to dangle while I pick at the cuff of my sweater. Lost in a nothing trance of not thinking but feeling deflated and depressed with a foggy mind. I had a lot of time the last few days to mull my entire life over, and I am so done with this
“Because I couldn’t.” Dane's words are breathy, and he pushes off the bar and paces forward, so his back faces me. He stops a little away at the opposite leg and sags. “When my mom told me we were going to the UK, I thought this was it…. I could end this, whatever this is, and we could forget each other. Put the mess of our parents, all that shit, and my feelings for you aside. A lot of space and time between us, and it would fade away. We could move on, and I would have an excuse not to come back anymore.”I pause, staring at his tall, muscular form, watching him tense up, and listen intently to the hoarseness developing in his words with every sentence. Killing me with his presence and the topic of this conversation as though we’re merely chatting about the weather. And not our hearts.“But she made you stay….” thus further ruining his life. Making him push harder and colder so I would stop bothering him. Progressively getting wilder and dating more girls as he went. I wonder if tha
“I’m tired.” I sigh and slump down into my seat in English class. Our first lesson on the first day back from break, but my usual energy for school is absent. It feels like I haven’t slept in days. I don’t want to be here for once, and I have a growing dread and subtle anxiety about seeing Jordan and his friends again. It's been quiet for a few days, but I know it will be awkward when he arrives.“You spent the last two days of the break at the animal shelter working like a slave and then still staying up to cram in extra study time. You need to take more downtime, Koala. It’s not good for you to occupy your waking hours with constant work.” Elisa pats me on the shoulder before sliding out her books and pencil case, and I stretch my arms up over my head, yawning and trying to loosen my stiff body. Closing my eyes to savor the exquisite sensation of relaxing all my muscles.“You sound like my mom…. I know, okay. It’s hard to relax when downtime gives you too much thinking space.” I kno
“Coming. Practicing his apology speech in the bathroom mirror for the fiftieth time.” Dane smirks when I glance back his way, and he subtly nods at the back of Elisa’s skull.“Ahh.” I haven’t said a word to her since I talked to Tyler because I want it to come from him before I figure out how to console her. Not screw up whatever it is he ends up saying by telling her too much. I turn back and go back to flicking through the papers.“You two look cozy.” Charmaine's bitchy tone in front of me makes me bristle all over and lift my chin in time to see her slamming by. Obvious hostile bad mood as she glares at Dane in passing and then throws her hair extensions over her shoulder before hobbling to a seat further back. All seduction and kissing up to him are gone now she’s on his dumped list.I flicker another glance back at him, but he’s looking down at the notes I handed him and seems oblivious to her. Disinterested in her attitude, and it gives me a weird sense of calm.I get a slight s
Dane almost catapults out of the bed. Grips my shoulder with one hand as I move in and suck the tip into my mouth and lets out a groan that almost makes me climax. Its so primal and raw and empowering.He tastes slightly salty, smooth, hard, and yet also good. Hard and thick, and I can barely get comfortable around him with my lips as this is such an alien sensation for me. Not sure if I should be doing anything else except sucking him like a lollipop. It’s not like I have ever watched it be done and only heard girls at school talking about it.How hard can it be?“Kayla….you don’t have…oh fuck…” His words die off as I find my way around what I'm doing, having no clue if it's even right. I suck him some more, explore him with my tongue and lips and take moments to experience this new feeling. Mentally wondering how far into my mouth he should be because I don’t want to end up gagging and throwing up all over him. Better to play it safe and keep only the first inch of him in there and
“You’re scarily quiet. What are you thinking about?” Dane and I are lying face to face in the dark, under the sheets in bed, and curled up together so we’re nose to nose. It’s been maybe twenty minutes of this, and I’m frustrated that I don’t feel any better.It’s like my confidence and security have taken a knock, and my heart is yearning for some extreme way to feel back to how I was an hour ago. Some deep emotional need to have him wipe away my hurt.“I’m fine…just…” I exhale heavily and curl into his body some more, resting my temple against his neck and inhaling his familiar scent. I can’t put into words the weird residual melancholy that tonight has left me. Maybe it was the realization that Dane alone has the power to destroy my heart should he ever actually betray me like that, and it’s made me feel small and vulnerable. Trusting someone with your soul in that way.Maybe it's being slapped with the reality that he has had sex with girls before, had some connection and relation
I mean, she’s smaller than me and tiny in frame, so there’s no way she was able to attack him to the extent of leaving kisses on his body and opening his clothes without his being able to stop her. I was in the bathroom for like ten minutes, so I'm sure he had plenty of time to get something started before I came out. Maybe he heard me coming, and that’s why he was cooling it off again.What am I thinking?Do I really think he would cheat on me?I don’t know anymore, not after seeing that.He’s been acting weird with that girl all night and has been actively avoiding her without any explanation about who she is. She's the one person he never introduced me to. Maybe those should have been the warning signs from the first minute she arrived. Maybe his distance and avoidance were to hide something between them and not that he didn’t want to see her.“Kayla, stop.” Dane tries to grab me from behind a second time as I get up into the room and twist out of his grip. I push him away as hard
The party is in full swing now it’s late, and despite my earlier weirdness over that girl, I am enjoying myself even if I have kept her in my peripheral way more than I should have. These people are easy to get along with, and despite this idea that I was walking into a frat party and bracing myself for it kicking off, it ended up being way more of a hang-out and chill session. It made so much more sense to me why Dane and Tyler frequently hang out with them because it’s nothing like teen boy chaos and wild orgies that I expected. Given Dane admitted most of his image was fake I can now see how he got away with it for so long without creating more mayhem. IF taking off for a party weekend was coming here to do this, then he’s way less rebellious than he pretended to be.Tyler, on the other hand, saying these parties get wild…was clearly joking.We started on the beach with food, music, and volleyball for a few hours. Laughing and getting sand in places that didn’t feel all that great
“Do I look okay?” Elisa blinks at me, the sweet, doe-eyed return of insecurity about her looks as I make her give me a twirl in front of my jeep. Admiring my goddess with the pride of a mother who may as well of birthed her myself.“Gorgeous, baby….. absolutely radiant.” Beaming, I take in the short and tailored dark green dress we picked for her. It’s flat, smooth satin, but the little cap sleeves and scooped neckline are green velvet in a shade a tad darker than the rest. Simple, elegant, and showcases her tall, lean figure and ample bust with curves in all the right places. Her red hair is a satin curtain of softness, held back from her face with a simple dark green velvet Alice band she chose, and her makeup is the trademark vintage I gave her. Tyler almost had an instant orgasm when he laid eyes on my beauty earlier, so I don’t know why she’s doubting her look now we’re here.“I don’t look immature?” She flushes a darker shade of pink and gets a hip nudge from me before looping h
“What about…Happy eighteenth, Kayla….Happy birthday, Baby. I was adamanet I wouldn’t stay longer than today.” He pecks me on the lips as the realization hits me that he’s right. It’s four am and my birthday. I went to bed, not even thinking about that, only seeing him and completely blanked midnight passing us by. I’m again the same age as he is and technically a legal adult.I think it’s the first birthday of my life. I wasn't sitting watching for my dad’s text in hopes he remembered or eagerly counting the minutes until I turned a year older. I didn't even think about it at all.“I am.” Even I sound surprised.“You are…we both are, and I have something for you.” Dane leans away further, forcing me to drop my hands back down onto the bed to let him go as he kneels up over the top of me. Legs on either side of mine but he puts no weight on me. Instead he unzips his leather jacket and crosses his arms in a cute little way so he points at each pocket on the sides. Seeing him with a litt
‘We’re in our street so I won’t be long. As soon as I get in, I’ll take my luggage to my room to give my dad time to go to bed, and then I’ll hop your balcony. Can’t wait to see you xxx.’It’s four am, and I have been dozing on and off for hours while watching my cell and waiting for Dane’s text. Unable to let myself fall asleep fully in case he thinks I’m not eager to see him, and I don’t want to miss his moment of getting home. I’m half asleep, and the vibration makes me jump, scanning the words twice and blinking as it sinks in that he’s here. He’s home or will be in a few minutes.Three weeks of endless waiting and my boy is finally back.I can’t wait. Scooting out of bed, I grab my short, baby pink lightweight robe to cover my skimpy vest and shorts and hightail it across my room. Open the door as quietly as possible because my mom is in bed across the hall and slide out before closing it tight. My nerves are hitched, which makes me weirdly breathless, and even though my heart is
I have a boyfriend to impress. I can’t have every other girl there look sexy for him and me being a frump in some boring outfit.“I’ll figure it out. What are you wearing?” I let it go for now, watching the two about fifteen feet away setting up for a new game with less interest and waving my hand in the air. I am so over playing now we’ve been here for hours.“Don’t add me in this time…. I’ll sit one out and watch you too,” I yell to them to catch Tyler’s attention and get a nod of okay. Dane calling me meant they took my turns the last few shots to leave me over here, so it’s not a shock. I want to sit one out and spend more time talking to him. I feel like a third wheel anyway, with how cutesy they are today. If I stay out of their way, they can forget I am here and have an actual one-on-one date. Something Elisa has been weirdly evasive of, so I guess her training wheels have not come off all the way yet. She likes me there as security even though she obviously doesn’t need me her
“Hey, Babycakes, what are you doing?” Dane’s honey-laden voice croons down the cell to me, a sign he’s not with his mom, seeing he's not trying to be quiet and sounds relaxed, probably in his hotel room.“Watching my best friend pretend she can’t throw a bowling ball so her boyfriend manhandles her while giving a lesson. I swear she’s not the same girl who beats me at this game every time we come.” Focusing on Elisa's play pretend inability is amusing, even if I am shocked she had the gall to put on the pitiful act to get cuddly.She sure is learning fast how to wind Tyler around her little finger.It's only mid-afternoon, but the ten-pin bowling alley is relatively busy, although we managed to blag a corner alley so I could hide in the shadows on the seats here. We’ve been here a while, on our third or fourth game, and I'm happy to sit back and let those two treat it as a date.“You should take tips from her…it wouldn’t hurt to have you soften up and act helpless occasionally to brin