I’m so groggy when I wake up after finally passing out when I got home. I have no idea what time it is or what day it is, yet my bedroom is oddly bright. Last night at the hospital feels like a distant dream, and as I toss and turn to get myself out of bed, I catch sight of my alarm clock and pause in a shocked gasp.It’s four pm.I have slept for almost twelve hours. I have no idea how I even did that and Bryan will wonder why no one is there for his waking up. He probably woke up already.“What the fuck?” I shoot up, almost falling off the edge of my bed in sleepy clumsiness, aware that visiting at the hospital is at nine am, and I was sure I had set my reminder to wake me up. I don’t know if I slept through it or if, in my stupor last night, I didn’t save the timer.“Mom!!” I race into the hall, stumbling and banging into the wall because despite my energetic, alert wake-up, my body has yet to catch up. Calling frantically to rouse her, too, as I know she will kick herself for bein
“I’ll go to the pharmacy for some toiletries and bits and pieces while Bryan sleeps. You head off home for now, and I’ll see you this evening.” My mom is up and tidying Bryan’s new private room after we settled him in here, and now I am getting the strong vibes she wants me to leave. I know it’s because Dane is coming. I overheard Mom and Bryan earlier saying Dane would come around eleven after he was on a ward, and it’s almost that time. My mom thinks she’s being sly about the hints that I should go home for lunch but I am not leaving until I at least see him once. I want that face-to-face, that moment of closure.To see the person who vanished from my life so I can put a lid on what we were. I guess a part of me wants to see for myself if he has suffered, too. Because I will know by looking at him, I will be able to tell with one encounter whether he even missed me a little bit. I need it to quieten to anger in my head and the ache in my heart.Just once. Even if we say nothing to o
His eyes lock on mine for a millisecond, registering shock at my presence, halting him to a sudden stop. He averts them to his feet, shuffling slightly backward to block the doorway with his arms outstretched, but whoever is behind him that he’s attempting to hinder shunts him forward with an ouch as they hit him. He doesn’t do a good job of stopping them from getting in.“Ouch…why did you stop? Why are you blocking me?” It’s a young feminine voice, and she slides under his arm and past him, giving him a weirdly confused glance as though questioning the sudden statue-like posture in the open doorway. I catch it from her side view, growing insanely jealous as she places a hand on his arm to bring it down from the door frame.Molten lava spikes in my belly at her very handsy motions.It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out that this teen girl dressed in a similar preppy, neat, and almost upper-class style with a sleek ponytail and fresh face is Hannah. Her color scheme seems to de
“Lunch is served.” I smile brightly as I unpack Monique's food onto Bryan’s bed tray and set them out like a gourmet restaurant, napkins, and fresh cutlery included. Monique has it in her head that despite the hospital supplying him with meals, he will never get better if it’s not her cooking. So it’s my unofficial job to deliver three meals a day.“This looks delicious, thank Monique from the bottom of my heart. Tell her I can feel the effects already. You all spoil me.” Bryan shifts to pull himself higher in his upright position, looking better today with more color on his face. Day by day, a return slowly of the man we love and know so well.I can admit that now he seems more like his old self. That sense of heavy dread weighing on my heart every second has lessened somewhat. He is one less stress for me, one less tragedy of my life. I guess having a truce with my mom is second. We may not be okay by a long run, but not having to spit venom at her any time she gets close has been
Hearing Bryan about to out me is all the push I need, not wanting it to seem like I am hiding, and I yank the curtain back to reveal myself. Plastering on a blank expression cool manner and lift my chin a little higher. Eyes straight to Bryan to ensure I don’t stray their way completely, blanking the two figures lingering closely near his bed.Seeing them in my peripheral is enough. The sickening lurch of pain reminds me that it never goes away, even when I stop noticing it as much.“All done and tidy. My mom won’t moan about me putting them in the wrong place.”I catch the slight movement of surprise out of the corner of my eye and the way Hannah slides back to hide behind Dane at seeing me appear. Dane’s head had jerked my way before he quickly averted it, and I caught the subtle gasp from one of them.“Um…Hi, Kayla. You look pretty.” Hannah whimpers like some terrified child who has just come face to face with the grumpy old witch of the village. Fake compliments to try and befrien
"What do you want, Dane?" I shove his overly heavy arm from my shoulder and elbow him in the ribs to get him off me. I can't stand his lounging on me casually like I'm another one of his endless girlfriends."Can't I walk my sister into school without being accused of ulterior motives?" He smirks down at me from his much taller height, too close for comfort, all bright white teeth, great bone structure, and grey eyes that seem to drive the hormonal teens here crazy. It grinds my eternal gears with irritation."For one, I'm only your sister when you want something. Two … you always have a motive when you are being nice to me." I point out, shrug off his second attempt at slinging an arm around me and bat him with my schoolbag instead. Not caring if I injure him in any way. I’d rather not have him near me on any given day of the week."Kayla, honey….sweetest little step-sibling of mine. You are my favorite sister and always have been. How can you be so untrusting?" he smirks, that devil
He finally releases me, and I spin on him, shoving him hard in the chest, but it does nothing. Not even a step back, all I get is that side smirk and wink as he brushes his hair out of his eye and lounges casually once more."And lose my excuse to cuddle up with my favorite girl? Hell no…. torturing you is my only joy in life. Anyway, why would I want to do a stupid thing like make my dad proud?" He shrugs with one shoulder and swings his backpack from one side to the other in a suave move that has the nearby coven of watchers swooning and probably dampening their panties. I eyeroll and turn on my heel to walk away from him. So done with this conversation and seething that yet again, I caved and agreed to something for this idiot just for a peaceful life. I hate that he knows how to get at me."Your rebellion is getting old and boring. It's been almost a decade, and you are still trying to disappoint him as punishment for marrying my mom…. Grow up. Some of us moved on." I sneer, angri
“Where is he? I told him to be here for six, and it’s twenty past! He always has to defy everything we ask of him.” My mom snaps, slamming her fork down on the table by her plate, making everything rattle despite being solid oak and everyone sits tensely as her voice echoes around the giant dining room. “I am so sick of this.”My mum's shoulder-length blonde highlighted hair falls gracefully over her right eye, so she flicks it back with manicured nails. She still looks like a woman in her young thirties and not her mid-forties. Barely has a wrinkle or blemish on her delicate face. Her cheekbones are rosier than normal, even on her sallow skin, and I watch my mom's beauty and elegance with awe, impressed by it even when she’s pissed off.Elisa withdraws further into her hair, so her fork seems to be delivering food into a veil where food disappears, and my stepfather sighs at the head of the table and checks his watch for the fifth time. It’s only the four of us as we wait for Dane,
Hearing Bryan about to out me is all the push I need, not wanting it to seem like I am hiding, and I yank the curtain back to reveal myself. Plastering on a blank expression cool manner and lift my chin a little higher. Eyes straight to Bryan to ensure I don’t stray their way completely, blanking the two figures lingering closely near his bed.Seeing them in my peripheral is enough. The sickening lurch of pain reminds me that it never goes away, even when I stop noticing it as much.“All done and tidy. My mom won’t moan about me putting them in the wrong place.”I catch the slight movement of surprise out of the corner of my eye and the way Hannah slides back to hide behind Dane at seeing me appear. Dane’s head had jerked my way before he quickly averted it, and I caught the subtle gasp from one of them.“Um…Hi, Kayla. You look pretty.” Hannah whimpers like some terrified child who has just come face to face with the grumpy old witch of the village. Fake compliments to try and befrien
“Lunch is served.” I smile brightly as I unpack Monique's food onto Bryan’s bed tray and set them out like a gourmet restaurant, napkins, and fresh cutlery included. Monique has it in her head that despite the hospital supplying him with meals, he will never get better if it’s not her cooking. So it’s my unofficial job to deliver three meals a day.“This looks delicious, thank Monique from the bottom of my heart. Tell her I can feel the effects already. You all spoil me.” Bryan shifts to pull himself higher in his upright position, looking better today with more color on his face. Day by day, a return slowly of the man we love and know so well.I can admit that now he seems more like his old self. That sense of heavy dread weighing on my heart every second has lessened somewhat. He is one less stress for me, one less tragedy of my life. I guess having a truce with my mom is second. We may not be okay by a long run, but not having to spit venom at her any time she gets close has been
His eyes lock on mine for a millisecond, registering shock at my presence, halting him to a sudden stop. He averts them to his feet, shuffling slightly backward to block the doorway with his arms outstretched, but whoever is behind him that he’s attempting to hinder shunts him forward with an ouch as they hit him. He doesn’t do a good job of stopping them from getting in.“Ouch…why did you stop? Why are you blocking me?” It’s a young feminine voice, and she slides under his arm and past him, giving him a weirdly confused glance as though questioning the sudden statue-like posture in the open doorway. I catch it from her side view, growing insanely jealous as she places a hand on his arm to bring it down from the door frame.Molten lava spikes in my belly at her very handsy motions.It doesn’t take a brain surgeon to figure out that this teen girl dressed in a similar preppy, neat, and almost upper-class style with a sleek ponytail and fresh face is Hannah. Her color scheme seems to de
“I’ll go to the pharmacy for some toiletries and bits and pieces while Bryan sleeps. You head off home for now, and I’ll see you this evening.” My mom is up and tidying Bryan’s new private room after we settled him in here, and now I am getting the strong vibes she wants me to leave. I know it’s because Dane is coming. I overheard Mom and Bryan earlier saying Dane would come around eleven after he was on a ward, and it’s almost that time. My mom thinks she’s being sly about the hints that I should go home for lunch but I am not leaving until I at least see him once. I want that face-to-face, that moment of closure.To see the person who vanished from my life so I can put a lid on what we were. I guess a part of me wants to see for myself if he has suffered, too. Because I will know by looking at him, I will be able to tell with one encounter whether he even missed me a little bit. I need it to quieten to anger in my head and the ache in my heart.Just once. Even if we say nothing to o
I’m so groggy when I wake up after finally passing out when I got home. I have no idea what time it is or what day it is, yet my bedroom is oddly bright. Last night at the hospital feels like a distant dream, and as I toss and turn to get myself out of bed, I catch sight of my alarm clock and pause in a shocked gasp.It’s four pm.I have slept for almost twelve hours. I have no idea how I even did that and Bryan will wonder why no one is there for his waking up. He probably woke up already.“What the fuck?” I shoot up, almost falling off the edge of my bed in sleepy clumsiness, aware that visiting at the hospital is at nine am, and I was sure I had set my reminder to wake me up. I don’t know if I slept through it or if, in my stupor last night, I didn’t save the timer.“Mom!!” I race into the hall, stumbling and banging into the wall because despite my energetic, alert wake-up, my body has yet to catch up. Calling frantically to rouse her, too, as I know she will kick herself for bein
“Here, drink something.” Tyler's gentle coaxing as he presses a warm cup into my hand snaps me out of my zombie state of staring at the blank hospital wall, and I blink back into reality. I wasn't even aware I was zoned out on another plain, as I don’t recall any thoughts. I don’t even know how long I was sitting immobile like this, unaware of the people around me.He's crouching in front of me, assessing my mental state, appearance, and expression and nods off towards my mom and Monique in the chairs across the room where they are now silent. My mom had been crying for the first hour here, but it seems she, too, has hit the silent numb. Waiting endlessly like we are. My mom looks shellshocked, pale, and lifeless as Monique cradles her in like she’s the child in this. Sitting a few feet away because of a gap in the chair layout.I wouldn’t expect anything else from my mom. I have always parented myself. Whenever I needed someone to lean on, it was him we should not name.“You all look
I don’t know what brought me in here or even remember walking in or climbing the stairs. But as Dane’s old room stretches out emptily in front of me, I spot the discarded hoody on the bare mattress where I threw it and idle slowly to retrieve it. It seems symbolic, lying here.An unloved, unwanted heap of fabric, left in here to exist alone in the nothingness of what he left behind.The hoody is me.Pulling it into my lap as I slide my butt onto the edge of the mattress with more effort than warranted, given I feel dead on my feet. Scanning the walls and furniture and the sheer emptiness of this room without anything of his. A naked shell, a box without personality. Everything is gone just like he is, and it fills me with a deeper, darker ache all the way down to my toes. Every day, a new wave of confusing feelings comes at me, always different from the one before, and each time, I am no more prepared to navigate it.I guess it’s like going through the steps of grief, and I am finally
“Are you sure it’s okay? Your mom won’t mind, given the weird atmosphere?” Elise looks borderline terrified as I lead her into the house after school and shrug it off. Not caring one iota if my mom minds. It’s been weeks since I had my friend home for dinner, and I want to get some sense of normal back in my life while it’s still in self-destruct mode.Home feels weirdly warm and inviting today as the delicious smells of baking bread hit us in the face as we yank off our school jackets and kick off our shoes. I guess Monique is in the mood to spend the afternoon in the kitchen, and I thank her mentally for the years she always made this fele like home. Her small touches, her constant presence, and today, the smell of her pouring love into our food has been the only thing to comfort me lately.“Kayla, you’re home. Elise…are you staying for dinner?” I don’t get to answer as my mom appears in the hallway as though she’s been waiting for the door to open and answers for me. She is seeming
Here I am, wallowing in pain and heartbreak, thinking that he, too, must be having a really hard time. It’s the only comfort I have been able to give myself in all of this, and yet it’s not even true. He’s over there living it up with another girl, making friends, and even going to school with her. The fact no one wants to tell me means it’s far from innocent, and I don’t want to believe he would move on so fast, yet something tells me this is his style.This is exactly the kind of shit Dane of the past would pull.Didn’t he try throwing all in with that shrew Charmaigne in an attempt to dislodge my feelings for him? Maybe knowing we can never be together, he has gone down the route of replacing me as fast as he can. Don’t they say the faster way to get over someone is to get under someone new?He slept with other girls in his past to try and forget me, and now here he has a ready-made wannabe girlfriend living in his new home. If he really wanted to get over me, she is the perfect st