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Five: Dear Theo
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Five: Dear Theo
Dear Theo,
I really don't know what's the point of this ... but here goes ...
I love you ... I'm obsessed with you ... I'm crazy for you ...
There ... I said it, and it feels really good
Now you know. Although you don't know who I am, that's beside the point.
I'm doing this for me.
I've been holding on to these feelings for you and I'm tired because I know nothing is ever going to happen between you and me. Ever.
I realize even though we sometimes feel so deeply about someone, it doesn't mean the feelings will be returned. It sucks and I'm learning how to accept that. So thank you for the lesson. I hope someday I will find someone that I feel this way about and he feels the same about me too. How wonderful would that be?
I guess this is my confession letter and also my goodbye. It's been a long and wonderful journey of unrequited love for me. I don't think a guy like you would ever know how it feels but when you do, I hope it'll make you think of me.
You are special to me, you will always be special, and I'm sure I will never forget you and how you made me feel.
XOXO
She rewritten it 6 times before she finally wrote it on her favorite pink notepad, stuck a flower sticker on it, and sealed it in an envelope. She kept it in her drawer. She thought she will give herself time to change her mind before Valentine's day. If she decides to submit it, she will do it secretly, no one should ever know about it.
It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She threw herself back on her bed and finally have the rest of the night to stroll on Lee's Tik-Tok account.
He's got over 10 thousand followers on Tik-Tok and thousands of likes on each of his posts. It was very impressive.
He's a huge BTS fan, he danced to all of their choreography by heart. Most of his posts were side-by-side frames of himself dancing to BTS songs next to it. He nailed all the moves almost as if he was the 8th member of the group.
He danced to other artists from Michael Jackson to Justin Bieber. It was obvious he was really invested in his dancing, it was embedded in his soul. And it was something Hazel found really attractive when someone is really good at doing what they love the most.
"Are you stalking on Lee's Tik-Tok?" A text from Jan came.
"I'm liking his posts ... he's really good."
"Ikr? You should see his abs (Tongue Out Emoji)"
"Where?"
"You'll see it ... wait ..."
Jan went offline for about a minute and then she sent a l**k to Lee's post.
"Thank me later ... go to bed! See you tomorrow."
"K ... bye."
She clicked on the l**k Jan sent her. Lee was dancing to a Billie Eilish song and he lifted his shirt a few times. She covered her mouth and rolled over the bed.
"Oh ... my God ..." she muttered to herself.
She could see his abs peeking behind his shirt. She giggled under the blanket. Before she knew it, she found herself watching the post over and over again. Then she gasped, will he know how many times she watched his post?
She closed the app, put her phone on the side table, and turned off her lights. Right before she closed her eyes, she thought to herself, she couldn't wait to see him practice after school.
She fidgeted on her seat in the last class of the day. The day couldn't drag on even longer when she looked out the window and saw Theo and Peyton K.I.S.S.I.N.G. under the tree. She looked away.
She bolted out of the classroom when the bell rang, put all her books in her locker, and waited for Jan. She kept glancing at the clock even though she still has time.
"What's taking you so long?" she snapped at Jan when she finally showed up.
"Whoa ... hold your unicorn, Princess, I'm guessing you've binged watched his abs last night before bed?" she laughed at her.
Hazel rolled her eyes, "Yeah ... but that's not why ... I don't wanna be late."
"We're not late ... it's a longer practice today, they're not using the court for basketball, so just the dancers ... you'll have plenty of time to look at other abs than Theo's."
She ignored that comment completely and dragged Jan to the sports hall. When they arrived, the dancers were already in their formation to start their first routine.
Lee was wearing dark grey hip-hop dance pants, an oversized T-shirt, and a denim jacket. He put on a large black bandana over his head, it seemed he was more comfortable keeping his hair back when he dances.
He was already focused on his performance, she thought, he didn't know she was there. As if he could hear her thoughts, he looked in her direction and immediately met her gaze. A wide smile bloomed across his face, he raised an eyebrow and winked at her right before the music started.
The moment the routine started, everyone in the hall was screaming in excitement. He was definitely popular among the dance enthusiasts, he was the star dancer. He will be one of the 7 star dancers at the upcoming sports tournament. The other 6 were top dancers from other schools. In a few days, he will have to go to another school for joint rehearsals with the other dancers, but for the next few days, Hazel knew exactly where she will be after school hours.
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