Chapter 5: Side Effects

With a growing urge to urinate, I slowly opened my eyes, moving my body with care. I dreaded waking Lucas from his peaceful sleep, so I cautiously freed myself from his tight embrace. As I changed positions, I felt a sharp pain between my thighs, causing me to wince. Is this a normal occurrence? My memory fails me.

Last night with Lucas was wild and, for me, the best moment so far as it's been in months. Perhaps our prolonged abstinence contributed to the intensity of it all. That's the only explanation I can conjure at the moment.

Lost in thought, I stared at the bedroom wall for a few minutes. Our bed was huge, but I was pushed to the edge, sandwiched between Lucas and the wall. Behind me, he continued to snore softly, still deep in slumber.

But why am I feeling like this now?

If I didn't take any fever medicine, I was certain I would fall ill.

Is this a normal reaction to being used by him?

Strange as it sounds, it's the only explanation I have. I've been in a daze for the past few months, and maybe my body is deprived of the physical connection it craves.

Shrugging my shoulders, I convinced myself that this was just a side effect of my prolonged unconsciousness. My body was simply reacting to being used after so long.

The events of last night with Lucas continue to consume my thoughts, causing my heart to race, my chest to constrict, and my lower lip to be caught between my teeth as my face flushes with heat. Even now, the mere thought of his touch sets my skin ablaze. The fervor of his caress lingers long after he's gone. My passionate sounds urged him on, and I begged for him to continue, reveling in the tender expression on his face during our intimate encounter. It all felt like happened in a dream.

"Lucas had it all, Adeline. That's why I struggle to comprehend how you could betray and deceive your husband."

I can tell from the way he looks at me in our family portrait that he loves me deeply. And deep down my body, I know I love him just as much. The reason behind my actions remains a perplexing mystery.

What drove you to seek another man?

He is irresistible. I was completely satisfied by his actions and craved more of him. He is also incredibly skilled in the bed. He is the epitome of perfection, and I could ask for nothing more from him. I never felt like anything was lacking in him. I can confidently say that there was a strong motive behind my betrayal of Lucas.

"It's peculiar how you are this constricting tight once more, Adeline."

As his words echoed in my mind, I bit my lower lip harder. Replaying them over and over caused the hair on my body to stand on end. Even though I was fumbling in the dark, I was determined to satisfy him and make up for any deficiencies as his wife from the night before.

It is an injustice, the rarity of the situation. Along with my memories, my body has forgotten how to articulate my emotions while Lucas took me to the bed. And, to avoid appearing foolish, I followed his lead. Our shared moans echoed as I mimicked his every move and gasped in unison. We both indulged in the inferno of our emotions, letting them consume us.

"Adeline, you must relax! You just got out of bed moments ago. What are you thinking now?" I sternly reprimanded my earlier actions in a composed manner.

It was not solely my doing that the blanket was now pulled tight to cover the exposed part of my body. I can no longer hold my need to relieve myself due to my lustful thoughts. My body is heating up and yearning for something different from Lucas.

I turned my attention to Lucas, taking in his sleeping face. If I were to compare it to his face while he was taking me, I would say it exudes the same kindness, innocence, and concern.

"You make a valid point. Lucas, I share your sentiments. Let's restore our family. I am ready to make amends for everything. It is not too late to make a change. I swear to you, from this moment forth, I will do everything in my power to earn your forgiveness for my past transgressions. For now, you and Luke are all that matter."

I carefully got out of bed, being mindful not to wake him up. Today marks the first day of my responsibilities as a mother to Luke and a faithful wife. I reluctantly went to the closet to pick out clothes. After last night's activities with Lucas, I did not have the energy to dress up. Upon surveying the garments within the closet, I hesitated to adorn them. Most of the apparel consisted of luxurious silk gowns, evoking a sense of opulence. This morning, like yesterday, I felt out of place amidst these unfamiliar belongings. Nonetheless, I opted to make a selection from the closet to avoid roaming the mansion in a state of undress, risking a scolding from Lucas.

"Good morning!"

As I entered the kitchen, the maids' expressions quickly changed from smiles to stoic gazes directed towards me. Their demeanor gave the impression that this was my first time performing this duty. Their coldness dampened my spirit, spoiling their own day.

Wait, have I mistreated them in the past?

Are they enduring unfairness from me?

What gives them the right to look at me in such a manner?

Oh, Adeline, these thoughts are perplexing!

"What have you prepared for our breakfast?"

I inquired in a friendly tone, but no one bothered to respond. Are they unable to hear or communicate? Do I seem strange to them? Did my former self feel this way towards them?

"Is it difficult to answer my question?"

Still, no attempt was made to answer, as if I had a history of inappropriate behavior towards the maids.

"Good morning, Mommy!"

Upon hearing Luke's voice, I turned to see him running towards me. Seeing his eager approach, my smile widened even more. Following close behind was his nanny, who seemed worried.

"Take it easy, Luke. You might trip and fall!"

Kneeling, I opened my arms, as Luke rushed into my embrace. Once he was in front of me, I effortlessly picked him up. As he rested his cheek against my shoulder, his delicate arms automatically wrapped around my neck. With great affection, I enveloped him in a warm embrace and gently rubbed his back.

"Did you sleep well, Luke?"

To my surprise, all the onlooker's maids were completely taken aback by my actions. I noticed that they stood still, frozen as if they were statues, while they observed our tender moment. Their expressions betrayed their disbelief as they gazed at Luke and myself.

What is the matter with these people?

Could it be that I have never shown this kind of affection to my son before?

Am I a neglectful mother to him as I was an imperfect wife to Lucas?