-Christian- Full tilt into work and I’ve barely come up for air. I was right about being wary of the rival CEO because we found out he had rats in my company. They were feeding him information, and details about our marketing campaigns, strategies, and who we had in our crosshairs. To say I’m angry is putting it fucking lightly; my company is close to losing everything and the more I fight, the more I get pulled under. Balling my hands into fists, I lean my head against them and breathe out a long sigh - today has been worse than usual. We lost three big clients because of the rival company showing them my marketing campaigns and there’s nothing I can do to prove they were our ideas. Everything is snowballing, and I have no idea what to do. The little voice in the back of my head tells me this wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t go on that vacation with Leia. But even as I think it, guilt grips my heart. There’s no way I can blame this on her when I planned it. How am I going to
-Leia-After weeks of planning this dinner, so excited to finally be spending time together after the busy schedules we had…only for me to constantly look at my watch, wondering where the hell Christian is.It’s our one-year anniversary, and I booked us a table at his mother’s restaurant for 7 pm tonight - it’s 8:30 pm now, and he’s not answering his phone at all. I know I told him about it, I even had his PA write it in his diary, so he cannot pretend he didn’t know.He’s been a mess since his company was on the brink of ruin, but Alexander has been helping him in more ways than one and he started spending less time at the office but more time out of the country. Did he forget about tonight when we just spoke about it two days ago?By 9 PM I realize he’s not coming and with a long sigh, I trudge back upstairs to change into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I grab my keys and head back down, knowing where I’m going after this. There’s no way I’m staying here and waiting for him when I
-Leia- I forgot how therapeutic it can be to just have a good cheesecake with my coffee and company who is not expecting you to say a word. I’ve been listening to Oliver droning on about his boyfriend (I know, right?) but oddly I don’t feel annoyed. It makes me forget about my own problems for a little while and that’s exactly what I need right now. Throughout our chat, he doesn’t ask me about why I broke down, he simply talks my ear off and I am eternally thankful for it. Now I’m on my way back to the penthouse, wondering what I’ll find. My phone died sometime during my visit to the clinic, so I don’t even know if Christian has tried to call me. Has he realized he missed our anniversary? I’m actually terrified of going home only to see he’s not there and as I pull into our designated parking spots, that fear turns into anxiety. He’s here at home, waiting for me. Breathing out a sigh, I make my way to the elevator and wait with bated breath until the door opens. I didn’t know wh
-Christian-I couldn’t afford to cancel these meetings, but if I had to choose between losing Leia and losing these contracts, I would pick the obvious choice.Yes, I almost lost my company a few months ago, but I have learned from it and put things in place so it wouldn’t happen again. I was arrogant in my business dealings and trust me, I have learned my lesson.Now, as I prepare this meal for the one person who loves me without prejudice, I can’t help but think about what I almost lost. This deal I brokered last night could spell the end of my troubles for a long time. It will put me on the map, so I don’t have to worry about anything but keeping this client happy. “Smells good in here,” Leia says as she rounds the corner into the kitchen. She’s just gotten in from seeing her mother, but she’s not looking as stressed as she usually does after the visits. “Whatchu making?”“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait, Mrs. Moore. Go get cleaned up and comfy; everything’s almost ready,” I say, s
-Leia-I wake up and hear the shower running, a slow smile spreading across my face. Last night was mind-blowing; Christian did things to me that had me nearly passing out from pleasure. Then he took care of me afterward, but as soon as I got into bed, I was lights out.We made up without promising the world to each other and I think that is a step closer instead of a step apart. I love that we can talk about things and not argue, how we get each other and appreciate the other’s space. Stretching, I’m about to get up when he saunters out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. He sees me and grins. “Good morning, wild cat,” he says, but just as I want to ask what the hell he means, he turns around and my face feels like a volcano.Scratches and bite marks all over his beautiful skin!“Oh, god! I am so sorry!” I exclaim, but he just chuckles and walks to the closet.“Why? I love being all marked up. Now, when my back stings during my meetings today, I’ll think about you
-Christian-Leia has been taking her own car more lately instead of going with Ben and Lucille has mentioned she’s coming home later, too. I know this shouldn’t bother me since she’s obviously spending more time with her mother before she passes, but she hasn’t even invited me to come along with her, either.Then there’s the gift I found that still bothers me to no end.I don’t want to speak about it with her because I’m sure it’s nothing to be worried about…but why do I feel so shit?Maybe I should try to spend more time with her, too. I don’t exactly initiate our spending time together. She might be thinking that she’ll be a burden to me when it couldn’t be further from the truth.Sighing, I lean back in my Phantom seat and close my eyes. I just got home after working a Saturday and I don’t even feel like heading inside. How did we get here? I mean, I knew starting my own company would take me away from those I love, but I used to be fine with it before I came to love Leia. I shoul
-Leia-Things are weird lately.Christian barely calls me anymore and when I call him, he almost never answers. I understand he’s abroad right now, but ignoring me for no reason? My mother is getting worse - she sees her sister when she looks at me and talks about the good old days. Her cries of pain are etched onto my soul but there’s nothing I can do but watch her wither away. I have no one to turn to, not that I want to worry anyone. Suffering alone used to be a black spot the size of a golf ball, but now it’s grown to a yoga ball size. I’m not sure how long I can keep this up anymore…I just want the pain to go away.Sitting alone in the penthouse with Klaus on my lap, I look at my phone and wondered if I should call Delilah and Lucas. They’ve always been there for me no matter what, and I could use the shoulders. I take a deep breath and blow it out before video-calling them both. They literally answer at the same time and smile when they see me, but the second I see their face
-Leia- I throw down Delilah’s phone and rush to the guest bathroom, where I empty out everything I’ve had today. If I thought things would get better, I was in for a scary surprise, because things look worse than ever now. There’s a picture of Christian sitting at a club with a woman on his lap, he’s also been seen leaving with women and Jasper in tow. All this time I thought he was away on business, he’s actually been in town partying it up with his friend, who is a known womanizer. All this time, he’s fooled me and I’ve been none the wiser. When did this start? When did he stop loving me and what did I do to deserve this? “Leia,” Delilah’s soft voice sounds next to me and I feel her hand rubbing circles on my back. “I’m so sorry, honey.” I shake my head and flush the toilet before leaning my head on my arms. “I’m such a fucking idiot, Del. Why did I think he would stay faithful to me?” “Because men are pigs and you’ve fallen in love with the biggest one?” “Lucas!” Delilah his
-Christian- I watch his face light up as I pin the boutonnière to the lapel of his fitted little tux. “You got me one too!” he exclaims when he sees that we’ll be wearing matching sets. “Of course; we’re two of the most important men in Mommy’s life. We need to match, don’t you think?” I say, before placing my hands on his shoulders. “Now, remember what I said?” He nods sternly and a serious look crosses his tiny face. “Even if I drop your rings, it’s not a bad thing because accidents happen.” I reach up to tousle his hair and shoot him a grin. “Good boy, Mason. Why don’t you go show Mommy and Aunty Del your boutonnière?” He giggles and wraps his arms around my neck before sprinting out of the bedroom. The smile doesn’t leave my face as I’m looking at myself in the mirror. The few grays and smile lines grow by the day and it doesn’t bother me because I want to look my thirty-three years. It’s been five years since Leia agreed to marry me, and we’ve decided that now would be the
-Leia-“A boy? We’re having a boy?” I ask with a choked-up voice as I look at the screen in front of me. “Are you sure?”The doctor nods with a smile on his face and points towards the screen, circling a spot. “Yip, that’s a boy alright. Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Moore.”I don’t bother to correct her and glance up at Christian, noticing his blue eyes are wide and glistening with unshed tears. He takes my hand and kisses the back of it and when he blinks, those tears now slip down his cheeks. “We’re having a little boy, Red,” he murmurs, his voice tight with emotion. “You’re giving me a son.”He says this as if it’s the most wonderful thing in the world and by now I can’t stop my own tears from rolling down my cheeks. And man, do I ugly cry. The rest of the check-up goes by smoothly, and the doctor gives me a revised due date for mid-December. The only issue was that I won’t be able to give birth naturally, so we opted for a c-section.Christian leads me over to his Phantom and we
-Christian- “Oh, my God; Alexander must hate me!” Leia exclaims while we’re driving to my father’s villa. “And Olivia! Did I tell you how awkward she looked when she saw me in the pharmacy? She kept staring at me!”“Yes, love,” I answer, my gaze going to her, then back to the road. “And no, my father absolutely loves you. I think even more than he loves me.”Leia shoots me a look that lets me know she’s going to strangle me and I can’t help but chuckle. It’s been about a month since we’ve made up; a month of nothing but absolute happiness and getting to know each other again.She was right about us not needing to jump right into getting married or living together because then we would simply be love-bombing each other without really working through our problems. Just because we cleared up our misunderstanding, doesn’t mean everything will go back to normal.Besides, there’s no normal now; Leia is pregnant with my child. This is the reason for us meeting with my father and Olivia - we
-Leia-“I’ll be right out here if you need me; text me when you’re done,” Delilah says when we’re in Christian’s underground parking the following evening and I give her a quick nod and hug before getting out of her car.Tonight I’m dressed in a pair of stretchy maternity jeans that stretch around my belly and a blouse that covers my bump. I’m still telling Christian about Bean tonight, but I first need to hear what he has to say.I walk towards the elevator and it opens before I can call Christian, and out he walks wearing a shy smile that gets my heart pumping in an awful way. His baby blues are shining with excitement and when he walks towards me, he places a kiss on my cheek.“Hey,” I greeted him awkwardly again.“Hey,” he responds, still wearing that smile as I get into the elevator with him.We ride in awkward silence with Christian’s delicious cologne making me float on a happy cloud. I will always associate Tom Ford with this man - God, he wears it so well.The doors open into
-Christian-My father’s eyes widen when I walk into his study at his home and he stands up to greet me. “Oh, this is certainly unexpected,” he says as we embrace. “What brings you around?”He gestures to the bourbon and I shake my head. “Nothing for me, thank you. I’ve actually come to seek your council,” I say and he gives me another raise of his eyebrows.“Again, unexpected but most definitely welcomed. Come, let’s sit next to the fireplace,” he says and we walk over to the entertainment section of his study.He pours himself a glass of the amber liquid and sits down next to me on the plush sofa. “Is this about Leia?”I chuckle at his ability to suss me out and I nod. “What gave it away?”The corner of his mouth lifts in amusement and he leans back on the sofa. “Well, you’re no longer looking as if you have the entire world on your shoulders, for one. And that determined spark is back in your eye,” he says, then he takes a sip of his glass.I heave out a sigh and lean back on the so
-Leia-I hear Delilah sneaking into the bedroom and feel as she wraps her arms around me. I have no idea when Christian eventually left the apartment because I’ve been crying in here non-stop ever since. The last time I cried was when I found out I was pregnant and I’ve refused to shed another tear ever since. There was only me and my life with my baby. No one else will come close.Or so I thought - the second I saw how broken Christian was, all my defenses crumbled to dust. He was hurting as much as I was, I could see it in his eyes. He knows what he did was wrong, how he treated me was wrong, and thought an apology would take away weeks of pain.I love him, but I am not naïve.“Are you gonna be okay?” Delilah asks behind me. “Need me to go beat him up for you?”I laugh through my sobs and clasp her arm closer to me. “No, I’ll be okay. I needed him to hear me say that…It had to come from me. Hopefully, he moves on as I will,” I say.If anything, this will probably make Christian try
-Leia-I’m laying on Delilah’s couch with my hand over my belly, stroking it gently. Ever since I started eating better, the hectic nausea went away, and I started filling out nicely. You can just make out my bump now, almost four months later. “Aww, is he moving again? Damn it, I always seem to miss it!” Delilah says as she sits down on the floor next to me and leans her head on my stomach. “When are you going to move for me, Bean?”I can’t help but chuckle at her pout. “It’s not full-on movements, you know; it feels like tickles at times,” I say for the tenth time, but she just grumbles and crosses her arms. “So unfair-”A knock at the front door silences her and when I look at her expectantly, she shrugs and moves over to the door. I immediately see her stiffen up when she looks through the peephole, then she turns to me with wide eyes, scoops Klaus up next to her, and puts him in my arms. “I need you to go to the bedroom,” she hisses I look at her questioningly and she sighs. “
-Christian-Life is moving in slow motion, everything is still happening as if I didn’t lose my purpose for living. The morning after I kicked Leia out, it took everything in me not to call her back or answer her calls. I wanted to beg her to come back, that I’ll put everything behind us if she forgave me and still loved me.But my pride stopped that.Her scent was still all over my penthouse so I immediately had her things packed up and taken away. I wanted no sign that she lived here, I wanted every trace of her removed from my life. But I couldn’t be an asshole and have her things left outside, so I had them pack it all away. Now my penthouse is an empty shell once again; it doesn’t even smell like Leia anymore.It’s been two months since I saw Leia last, two months since I removed her from my life, and two months since I’ve touched alcohol. The smell of it reminds me of the ugly things I said to her, and I am already stewing in my guilt as it is.I’m never home anymore. I always
-Leia-Rain.The weather matches my mood perfectly as I watch my mother’s casket being lowered. I haven’t cried all day; I’m not sure if it’s because I have already cried so much already; right now that numb feeling has settled in my heart and I don’t think it’s going to move at all.I didn’t bother to let my father or siblings know our mother had passed away; what would be the point? They sucked her inheritance dry and then left without another word, so no I do not owe them this message.Another person I didn’t tell was Alexander and Christian - again, what’s the point?Walking forward, I throw a single white rose onto her casket and it lands with a gentle thud, then I walk towards my car even as my friends call for me. There will be no ‘after-tears’, no well-wishing, or anything of the sort. I didn’t want any of that, I just want to go home and curl up into a ball with my cat.Thankfully they all accept my privacy, but I know it will only be for so long. I haven’t told Delilah or Lu