PaigeI stroked the top of Francis’s head in Lauren’s office. For the first time, noonday sun poured in her big windows. Tom rearranged my appointments permanently to line up with when most people at Henley and Stephenson would be taking their lunch so I missed as little as possible. Part of me thought that was sweet. The rest of me had no idea what to think about Tommaso anymore.“So, our longest break yet.” Lauren smiled. “How was your weekend?”In my mind’s eye, Tom cupped my face gently, somehow both in my dream-bedroom and on the back of the snowmobile. I’d been avoiding him since then.“I did the homework we talked about,” I blurted.“Great!” Lauren scribbled a couple notes in a new color of pen. “Tell me a little about it?”I ran her through the steps, through our loose plans for achieving them. Every time she looked like she was about to ask another question, I invented another detail to tell her to avoid it until I finally ran out.“Wow,” she said. “It’s awesome that you were
TommasoI glanced at Paige in the passenger seat next to me. In the shuffle, I hadn’t had a chance to hire my own driver yet, but the little black coupe I’d bought last year for personal driving seemed subtle enough for the trip. She stared out the window, her shoulders still at perfect right angles like they had been since she walked out of Lauren’s office. Something had obviously happened in there. She’d been awkward, even tense since Friday—with the exception of the snowmobile ride—but this seemed different somehow. Maybe they’d finally crossed the line and started dealing with the hard stuff.“You can pick the music,” I said to break the silence.She looked at the radio where soft pop music oozed out of the speakers. I drove myself so rarely I never even bothered to change the presets. I didn’t recognize the melody, but it had the unmistakable cadence of something that would get stuck in my head if I let it.“You like this?” She shook her head. “I mean, this is fine. I don’t care
PaigeI picked at the plate of lasagna in front of me and looked around Tom’s formal dining room. He’d said he tried to keep decoration out of the place so people could focus on the food, but that was only half-working because of the company. Killian and Sera showed up as promised, but they brought along Patrick and Olivia, who were also a couple. The four of them walked in arm-in-arm, already chattering, and I’d instantly felt like an ant. I’d never done well in big group events. Or medium ones. I basically hadn’t been to a party since that last birthday of Sera’s, and I never figured out how everybody else seemed to know when other people were done talking. Even inviting over Killian and Sera had been stupid, but on a whim while trying not to fall asleep last night, I’d bought this white dress covered in pink and green geometric patterns, and I wanted to show Sera Bianchi I still knew how to pick out my own clothes.But now here she sat, completely resplendent in a deep blue designe
TommasoMy brain shut off. Paige’s lips were on mine, moving with that same sinuous grace I’d seen in her body under the sheets. How long had I been dreaming of this? I cupped her face, ran my had through her hair, and she opened her mouth on mine. She tasted like rich, dark fruit and—And wine. Because she’d been drinking at dinner, at least three glasses. On a tolerance so low, she would’ve reacted to a single shot of scotch. I mustered every ounce of willpower I’d ever had and pulled back.Paige blinked at me, hurt in her dark eyes. On the tail of the hurt quickly came the humiliation I’d grown used to. Her pale skin started to turn red.“You’re upset,” I said. “You’ve been drinking.”“I’m upset. I’ve been drinking.” She nodded as though confirming to herself.“I’m gonna go.” I glanced at the door as a burst of laughter floated up the stairs. We—I--still had guests. Even if I didn’t know the wine was making Paige do this, I wouldn’t be able to stay here. “You get some sleep.”“I wi
PaigeI sat back on Lauren’s bright blue couch on Wednesday at lunchtime. Francis sat on the far end, seeming to sense I didn’t want him near me. I didn’t want anyone near me. I’d snapped at Miranda this morning when she accidentally gave me coffee with milk and sugar instead of just sugar, and I’d almost sent a kind of catty email to a client. I just couldn’t stop thinking about that dream, about the fucking kiss, about how close I kept coming to exploding my whole life right when it was maybe starting to become something I could live.Lauren smiled. “So if you want to, there are a lot of ways to try on clothes before you buy them. And if makeup’s a struggle—”“So, are we just never going to talk about what happened to me?” I asked.She swallowed and nodded. I resisted the automatic impulse to wince. I didn’t feel bad. She was supposed to be helping me, and I was just as shitty as I used to be.“Do you want to talk about what happened to you?” Lauren asked.I threw my hands up in the
TommasoI trailed after Paige to my car and unlocked it as she grabbed the handle. She seemed different after therapy today. I’d seen a lot of versions of her walk out of that office, but this one seemed the most at peace. I slid into the leather front seat of my car and turned it on.“How was it?” I asked.She snorted. “You know, that’s really not how therapy works.”I couldn’t help it. I laughed. She looked up at me in surprise.“So, after a week and a half, you’re the expert?” I said.“More than you. You’ve never even been to a session.” She shook her head, still smiling, and stared out the window. The February sun cast her features in sharp relief. “If you’re gonna make me tell you, it was good.”“Good,” I said.She laughed then began adjusting settings on the radio.“What are you doing?” I asked.“You said I was in charge of the music.” She found an old rock-’n-roll station blaring a screaming guitar and turned it up. “I’m tired of pop.”I laughed and pulled out of the parking lo
TommasoI pulled my coat a little tighter around myself to ward off the early spring chill wafting in through the open bay door of my main warehouse and watched my men load wooden crates of guns onto the back of an eighteen-wheeler. For the first time since I’d returned from Egypt, I was happy with the number of subordinates I was sure were loyal to me. Carp, Stan, and I had been working hard on weeding out the motherfuckers who’d turn a second time, and damn near everyone nodded at me when they noticed me standing against a shelf now.Not that I’d shown up for the nods. No, I’d dragged myself out of bed in the middle of the goddamn night because Tony was doing another fucking pickup. And because, in the handful of weeks since Paige drunkenly kissed me, any and all nighttime visits had stopped. Part of me missed it. Another part of me was glad my own willpower wasn’t being tested like that. I couldn’t stop dreaming about the taste of her lips.Tony wandered out of the cab of the truck
PaigeI picked at my waffles and listened half-heartedly to Miranda chatter about some new reality dating show she couldn’t stop watching. I had a virtual lunch meeting today, so a morning therapy session. They always made it easier to wake up earlier and spend more time on breakfast, which didn’t exactly help my workflow, but made empty small talk about television easier.“…and then Amanda kissed him. Can you believe that sh—oh! Tommaso!” Miranda said. “Omelet?”I glanced up as Tom walked in wearing his shirt-half buttoned and his tie slung loosely around his collar, with his jacket draped over one arm. His curly hair looked rumpled, and dark bags sagged under his eyes. I almost gaped at him. I’d seen him in a lot of different outfits now, but I’d almost never seen him look disheveled.He dropped into the seat next to me. “Yeah.”Miranda whirled for the stove and the egg mixture she had ready next to it.“What’s up?” I said.“Late night.” He shook his head.After living with the man
PaigeI stood in the vestibule outside of the chapel, clutching my flowers, my heart hammering in my chest. Organ music belted through the doors, and I was just waiting for my cue.We all were. My two bridesmaids, in simple maroon dresses, stood ahead of me. Like she could feel my eyes, Lauren turned back and winked. I smiled. The dress looked spectacular on her, and I’d promised up and down that Tom would invite enough handsome men for her to go home with a date. This, of course, had been complicated by Tom choosing Killian and Stan as his two groomsmen. While I liked the older man, and he kept Lauren laughing, I didn’t exactly see the two of them as a couple.Mom stepped up next to me with a smile. Her mother-of-the-bride dress, a deep burgundy gown with gold accents, caught the light and sent it dancing. “Are you excited?”I inhaled sharply. “I kind of can’t stop thinking about the seating chart for the reception. Who have I become?”She laughed. “Your father.”Tears beaded in my e
KillianI sat behind my desk and looked out over my men. Tommaso took his usual seat. Adrian hovered in the corner like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself yet, just like he had at the beginning. Patrick was still laughing about spilling his wine. Just like old times. I stood and started pouring everyone drinks.“So,” I said, “do you have an update on the warehouses, Adrian?”He started toward my desk, then paused. An odd moment passed. It wasn’t really my desk anymore. I’d left the hunk of wood behind because I had no need for it on the island, and he’d loaded it down with computers in my absence. Despite that, I’d never seen anyone sit behind it but my father besides me.I offered Adrian a drink. “Sit.”He nodded. “Didn’t want to step on your toes. The situation is pretty simple, all told, but I can tell there’s a certain amount of grace I’m supposed to be handling this foreman with, and I don’t—”Tommaso joined me at the bar to pour. “Do you remember that foreman in the so
PaigeI tucked my arm through Tom’s and straightened my long, floral romper. He kissed me on the cheek, then knocked on the door. Joyce swung it open.“Hello!” She welcomed us both in with hugs. “Mr. and Mrs. Ricci are in the drawing room. Please, come in.”We let ourselves be bustled through the door, the wine we’d brought carried off to the kitchen, and our coats taken to some closet somewhere in the mansion. Adrian used it as a base of operations when Killian and Sera weren’t home, so I’d been here a few times since the wedding, but I’d never felt comfortable here. Finally, we were led to the closed doors of the drawing room, and Tom opened them with a smile.Inside, we found not only “Mr. and Mrs. Ricci,” but also Olivia and Patrick, Adrian and Penny—who still wouldn’t even talk about their dance at the wedding—and Sera’s mother and brother, as well as Lauren. Sera leapt up to greet us, and Killian followed a few paces behind. I threw myself into the hug just as much as Sera did—I
SeraI folded a T-shirt and put it into Killian’s suitcase. “Are you sure we need to leave so soon?”He chuckled and took the T-shirt back out, then replaced it with a suit shirt. “Very, unfortunately. Adrian is in the middle of a difficult situation with one of the warehouses, and he needs a steady hand to guide him through.”My stomach churned at the thought of leaving the villa. We’d only been here for a couple of months, and we’d promised everyone we’d return, but dammit, I wasn’t ready yet. Lazing around the villa and having sex whenever the mood took us was way too fun to stop after only a few months.“But we’ll be back soon, right?” I asked like I didn’t already know.“Cara mia.” Killian took my hands. “What is happening in that head of yours?”I sighed. “I don’t know. The thought of leaving just make me kind of sick. We just got away from all that. I don’t want to be scared again.”He studied me for a long moment. “You do look a little pale. How sick is this making you exactly
PaigeI squeezed Tom’s hand in the car on the way to the airport.“Sad to be leaving?” he asked.I smiled. “Always. It’s so magical here.”He laughed. “Not just saying that because we’ve spent most of the vacation in bed?”I ran my free hand up his leg. “No, we have weekends for that at home.”“Fair enough.” He kissed the back of my hand. “I do like going on these little vacations, though. It’s a nice escape for a few days.”I nodded. I really was going to miss Paris, but I wouldn’t have wanted to stay much longer anyway. Lauren had been texting me updates about the shelter, especially the new one as women settled in. I kept thinking about how much I was missing, how much they needed me there. And I knew Tom was feeling the same. Apparently, Lyle had his sights set on someone new, and Tom was itching to pull the trigger. Anybody else would probably think we were freaks, desperate to leave a luxury vacation to get back to our grueling jobs. But those people didn’t realize just how much
TommasoWhen I told Paige I’d set everything up for another two days in Paris, she’d immediately insisted we spend a day shopping. I put up a cursory front of complaints, but in truth, I was perfectly happy following her from store to store and carrying her bags. Even better, she loved it when I made jokes about some of the worst, frilliest, most French things we came across. She laughed and joined in. For years, I’d heard men complaining about shopping with their girlfriends—fiancées—saying it was the most boring thing in the world, but even if we weren’t laughing up a storm as we paid our way through the most expensive boutiques in Paris, I still would’ve been having a ball. The sun was shining, she kept looking at the ring I’d put on her finger with a soft wonderment I’d never seen in her eyes anymore, and my face hurt from smiling. Paige and I could’ve made a hell of an afternoon out of reading the phone book.“Stop!” she said.I froze, my free hand twitching toward the gun I’d hi
PaigeI didn’t know how long Tom and I lay there, listening to the fireworks and seeing the very top of their arcs through the sliver of windows accessible from the floor. I pillowed my head on his chest and enjoyed the steady beat of his heart. Engaged. The last time I was here, I’d been on the cusp of recovery, just starting to make strides toward the person I was today. Now, I wasn’t done—I didn’t know if there was a done for traumatized people or people in general—but I was so much better, stronger, happier than I had been.The last time Tom and I were in Paris, I’d thrown myself at him and chickened out. As much as I could stay at a private view of the Eiffel Tower, I wanted to show him just how much had changed. Just how much I meant the “yes” that had fallen so easily from my lips. I rolled on top of him.“What do you say we take this back to that hotel room you picked out?”Tom grinned and pulled me down for a kiss. I pressed myself against him, feeling every line of his body.
PaigeI sat across from Tom in an empty, stunning restaurant in the middle of the Eiffel Tower with my head spinning like the three sips of wine I’d had with the appetizer were enough to make me drunk. He’d really rented out the Eiffel Tower. And not one floor, the whole thing. We’d ridden an empty elevator, the two-Michelin-star chef kept coming out to tell us why he’d selected particular dishes based on the information Tom had given him about our preferences, and I couldn’t hear anything but the soft classical music over the speakers. It felt like a dream.Tom took my hand. “So?”“So what?” I asked.“Was the surprise worth it?” He grinned.I looked over his suit, a forest green that brought out his eyes, worn without a tie. His dark curls tumbled into his face. I’d never seen him look so perfectly put together and so casual. He looked…well, he looked exactly like the man I’d fallen in love with. Nothing like the one who’d scared me so badly all those months ago in Cairo.“I get the
TommasoDespite how much I wanted Paige to keep that little black dress on, we had a few hours before the Tower officially emptied out for our use. I talked her into putting on something a little more walkable and keeping the lingerie on. As if to punish me for my restraint, she picked a pair of tiny, wide-legged shorts that showed the tops of the garters attached to her stockings every time she moved and a fitted blouse. I changed and somehow convinced myself to leave the hotel room instead of stripping everything off her and spending the hours in bed.She took my hand as we stepped into the lobby. “I should’ve known. When you plan a surprise, it’s never just one thing. Where are we off to first?”“So nosy.” I smiled.“You’re right, I’ll stop asking.” She slid the room key out of her pocket and fiddled with it for a second, then dropped it. With a small smile, she bent at the waist to pick it up, exposing those garter straps again.I grabbed her waist and hurried her the final few st