Helena's POVThe chill in my stomach was overwhelming and the rapid beats of my euphoric heartbeat sounded like drums in my ears. I was totally stunned by what had just happened and John looked no different from me as we stared at each other inexpressively, still breathing somewhat erratically. As if awakened by something that restored his consciousness, he stared quickly at my lips one last time and withdrew his hands from me with a slowness that was almost contradictory to his action, which forced me to do the same and stop touching his face and the back of his neck, gathering my own hands. We moved apart a little until the space from which we were separated was considered normal, and John cut off our eye contact. I forced myself to look forward and, squinting, saw him prop his elbows on his knees and run a hand across his neck in a clear sign of confusion."I'm sorry, Helena. I... I don't know what happened. " John spoke up and I immediately looked at him, feeling as if I had taken
"What exactly do you have to explain to me, Ms. Helena? And where is the book?" she asked interested, and I prepared myself for her reaction to what I was going to say next. I bit my lip and stared at her, trying to contain the slight smile that stubbornly wanted to show itself."I forgot the book in the garden last night. "I started, and was urged on by a clearly impatient Sophie. " E...? "" One of two ways. Either Bento destroyed it, or it's with John. " And, as I expected, she blinked several times in pure confusion. "And why would your book be with Carter?" Do you want the full story, or just what matters?""What do you think? " She questioned agitatedly and I laughed. "Okay... "I took a deep breath and continued, "John and I kissed. "I let go all at once.My friend's jaw dropped.And when I say dropped, it's because it definitely could have hit the ground if that were possible.She blinked several times again and stared at me for a long second, totally still and dumbfounded
John's POVWhat the fuck was my problem?The nagging feeling that I had lost all control of the situation with Helena was constant, and I still didn't know how to deal with the fact that some things seemed too strange after the kiss. Maybe I had just let myself get carried away by a moment of weakness and confused a possible friendship with something more, maybe my momentary weakness had made me wish to be closer to her "who is someone whose presence gives me immense comfort", maybe I was fucked up for insisting on wanting to find an explanation for something so unexpected that left me with more doubts than I would have liked. I took action, I longed for her presence, I felt attracted to the girl who, until a few months ago, had gone practically unnoticed by me. In that instant, taken by an eccentric atmosphere, I wanted to know what her tas
"GO TO HELL, DAMN YOU!"Enraged, I threw the phone against the wall and watched it smash to pieces, not caring much about the damage done. My hands were running through my hair in an act of complete restlessness, I was overcome with a warning signal and decided to act. I grabbed my car keys and sped out the door, not caring about the haunted looks from everyone in the office.I got into the vehicle and sped off while I focused on calming myself down and not losing my mind completely. The first thing I needed to do was to get Otto to safety, since he was certainly an easy target due to his importance in the case, both for being a relative of the victim and for his willingness to offer the material from the day of the crime. I parked in front of the entrance to his apartment and rang the bell, soon seeing his confused figure appear in front of
Helena's POVThat Monday was unusually good.I had gotten a great grade on my exam and got a position at a children's shelter in order to start my work. I would make the visits on alternate days as my schedule allowed, since the internship during the week and the part-time job at the record store on Saturdays made it difficult for me to have a free day.John had left as soon as the supervision was over, as I was a nervous wreck about the party at the weekend and the preparations for it. I stayed in the library writing the reports for the day, considering that delays in submitting them to the supervisor would cause my grade to decrease, which would consequently lead me to lose my full scholarship. I gathered the books and notebooks from the table and left the library almost hunchbacked due to the weight of the materials, startling myself as I noticed the dark sky taking the place of the previous brightness. I looked at the bus stop from which I used to wait for
"How awful. "My friend uttered in intimidated intonation. She resumed what I was about to do earlier and switched to music station. "Is John in the middle of it?"" I don't know, I don't follow that kind of news. ", I limited myself to that answer, taking into account that I really wasn't sure of anything." Did you guys talk to each other after it happened?""Yes. He was with my book and went to return it.", I answered and Sophie arched her frown with a minimal smile wanting to emerge from between her tight lips." I know... Return...," She joked mischievously and I laughed, rolling my eyes. "Was it awkward or did you guys stay cool?"" It definitely wasn't normal. At least not for me. It was just a kiss, in theory I should let it go, but practice is pretty hard," I confessed with a resigned sigh, receiving a quick understanding look from my friend next to me."You know he'll probably be a
"Wow, that's so hot. "I said to my friend the moment I stepped into her car. She tossed her hair and blinked, making fun of me."I have to work hard, don't I? I'm the birthday boy's date. "She said vainly and looked at me slightly. "Looks like I'm not the only one who's done a little work here. "Gracejou naughty. I laughed and did a little self-observation, still feeling somewhat insecure due to my choice of dress."Really? 'Cause I'm finding myself a little plain," I said hesitantly."Stop this nonsense! You look beautiful, Lena. "He warned, and I smiled in appreciation."After I drop you off at The Lamps, I'm going to meet Adrian and take him there like it's just any other date. "Sophie said as if mentally writing down the information. "Is it okay for you to stay there until I get back, girlfriend?I waved my hands in a clear sign that I wouldn't mind."Did you get the decorations right?""It's amazing!
"Well, since you're getting along fine here, I'm going to play my part as the birthday boy's family member and bring order to the party. Sophie will be here soon. "He warned, pulling away without giving us time to answer him.I took a sip of my forgotten drink and crossed my arms, fully aware that this act meant restraint, but I only wanted to comfort myself. I would like " very much " for John to come close, however, I knew that my wish was unlikely to be fulfilled. He grabbed a drink and, like me, faced the other people at the party, now fuller, taking into account that Paolo had warned about Sophie and Adrian's arrival." How are you?" He broke the silence. We didn't dare to look at each other."Fine. Pretty busy... And you?"" Same. " He replied and I mumbled a "hm". A man in a small social circle called out to John, who nodded and stared at me."No, I don't mind if you go over there. I'm fine here, you don't have to feel obli
I took his drawing out of my bag and the tears that I had held back throughout the day fell stubbornly down my face. I didn't make a point of holding them back. They flowed uninterruptedly with my full permission, as if the fact that I had omitted them worsened the intensity of the silent weeping.I analyzed the illustration, remembering his proud face as he finished his art. Benedict sprang up in front of me and I gave a start, bringing my attention to the German Shepherd sitting with his tail wagging frantically. I saw that the sash was no longer on his paw and smiled at him."Good boy, you have recovered nicely! "I stroked behind his arched ears.An extremely familiar scent invaded my sense of smell and I looked up only to confirm the veracity of such a characteristic aroma. John stopped in front of me and I quickly tried to wipe the traces of weeping from my face that surely gave away my tears. He moved closer and I cut off eye contact, focus
"Hold on, I'll get Trish! "He got up quickly and ran to the woman, who had been pulled by the hands to where I was standing. He spoke excitedly, pointing to the two freshly painted cards."Wow, I think we have a great artist here! Tell us about them. "Trish asked kindly."The first one is a dragon and a knight! " He explained, pointing to each stroke made.I noticed heavy lines and a few other details that caught my attention. I studied it and recognized emotional indicators throughout the figure."The second one I made for her! "He pointed at me and I smiled, surprised by his gesture. "It's a boat on the sea with a sailboat and a bunch of flowers! And it has a rainbow! " He demonstrated excitedly."Thank you so much, Archie! I love the present, I'll keep it in a very special place in my room. "I announced with a warm heart, and the little guy's face lit up." You swear?!""I swear! It's beautiful," I said, t
"Welcome again, Helena. How was your first experience here? We didn't get to talk last week, I'm sorry. I had a meeting and it messed up my schedule. "Magnolia, the director of the shelter, explained, sitting down on the chair behind the desk in her simple living room."I can imagine, don't worry, I loved it, the kids are great! "I said enthusiastically."I'm glad. They have left the class and are finishing their lunch, then they have a play activity*. Trish, our instructor, will tell you more about the whole process. You met her on your first day, didn't you? Any questions?"" No, it's all cleared up. Thank you for your willingness, Magnolia. "I stood up and shook her hand in greeting."Anything you need, you can come to me. "The woman smiled and I reciprocated.I excused myself and left the room, walking to the patio, paying attention to all the rustic details of the orphanage. I spotted a group of children running around in the
" He said, "I'm fucking with his head! " I exclaimed falteringly. The sentence in question was making my mind go round and round endlessly towards nowhere."Wow... "" And there's more! We almost... Well, we made out today. "I said, trying to sound as unassuming as possible, but ended up sounding stammering."My friend practically screamed, and again I had to hold the cell phone away from my ear with a grimace on my face. " Everything we talk about becomes ambiguous, it's like we can't stay close to each other without a weird vibe arising, you know?"" I usually call it sexual tension." Sophie deduced and I laughed, finding the term very fitting to the circumstance."Whatever it is, it's driving us crazy. We only didn't go all the way because, guess what? Bryan showed up. " I said, allowing boredom to take over my sentence."I can't believe it! What was that asshole doing there?"" He went to get something, I didn't qu
"He really knows how to give a welcome. " I commented, laughing at Benedict's indecision as he looked at John and me, not knowing who to play with. " His paw is fine now."" Yes. I'm taking him to the vet before he rips the band off by himself."" I'm surprised that hasn't happened yet. " I said laughing."I'm glad he's spending some of his energy on you. " She spoke with the serene smile that remained after her succession of giggles."And I always end up on the floor. John stood up and took my hands, helping me up. We stared at each other for a few seconds and I decided it was time to go home. "Thanks again for yesterday," I smiled crookedly and he denied it with his head."Not at all. "I stroked Benedict's fur one last time and nodded, seeing the dog and his owner standing side by side looking at me.I turned my back and hurried out of the garage, running through a thunderstorm that did not cease for a moment.The
It was all so unbelievable, I had never even considered the possibility that one day I would be in the situation I was in: confused about getting involved with John beyond what could be considered normal, if you keep in mind the fact that he had always seemed unattainable to me. I didn't know whether to enjoy the moment, or rationalize about the problems that this unusual involvement would bring. I hardly knew if I could risk calling...this involvement.As much as it hurt to admit, Bryan was right. John had just gotten out of a long relationship, and although I did not know what had occurred for the breakup to take place, I knew that getting rid of the fragments of a relationship was not usually that easy. A few minutes later, John reappeared in the room with damp hair, and the unmistakable scent of his perfume wafted into the room before he had even finished coming down the stairs as he shook out his newly wet hair. He raised his eyes and found me staring like a perfect
"I think you'd better... " I began, bewildered." É. I'll get that. "He added visibly stunned, releasing my thighs and helping me down from his lap.The feeling of incompleteness hit me full force and I was thankful that John was still supporting me, for my wobbly legs were not enough to support my trembling body, which was extremely vulnerable to the touch of the man, who was staring at me seriously. I withdrew my hands from the back of his neck and he turned away, walking to the door.I ran my trembling hands over my face with my heart racing to the point that I forced myself to breathe in and out several times in order to calm him at least a little, not believing what was happening. What was about to happen. John pulled the knob and ruffled his hair, greeting the person in front of him and I immediately closed my eyes and wished I didn't hear what I heard at that minute.It couldn't be true.Bryan's voice resonated a
"And what would that context be, John?" I asked, forcing naivety.He finished his cigarette and left it in an ashtray nearby, all in the utmost tranquility. He turned his shameless eyes to my cynically innocent figure and ran them through mine to the point of sparking. A strong gust of wind hit us, and I cringed, though I felt warm inside. John stood up without saying a word and nodded for me to follow him; I did so. He gave me room to pass first, and then walked into the room, closing the window. I was already feeling like a complete jerk for playing his game, but when his presence was felt just behind me, a warning bell sounded that this was not going to be left out in the open like the situations between John and me used to be."I'm not sure I'm good at explaining. "The deep voice sounded too close. His warm breath bumped against my ear and I shuddered. I turned and faced him, who was watching me precisely."I'm good at understan
"Good afternoon. "I replied, totally dull, standing there like a mummy."Are you feeling well?" he asked.I wrinkled my nose and moved uncomfortably, nodding even though I was certain that my face revealed my deplorable state. As I expected, John made an expression of not believing a word I said."You're greener than this plant, Helena. You're greener than that plant, Helena," he said, referring to the fern located near the barbecue grill.He stood up, and I stopped myself from biting my lip at seeing it all revealed like that, just after waking up. His pants were just a few fingers below his waist, leaving the bar of his black underwear showing as if it were an underwear commercial or one of those mindless advertisements for imported perfumes, in which the beautiful people only play the role of embellishing the scene, which, to my mind, made no sense at all."I'm fine," I remembered saying when I saw him a few ste