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Chapter 39
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2023-04-16 01:20:29After so much time with someone, realizing that you are alone gives you a strange feeling of emptiness. Cassie's words echoed wildly in my mind, and as much as they hurt, knowing that there was truth in what I had been told was uncomfortable. I had done the right thing, but the slight relief on my shoulders was no greater than the weight of the great emotional burden of our discussion.
I started the car in the direction of my house feeling like a nervous wreck.
However, I also felt that a part of me was relieved.
Helena's POV
Too much lighting.
Too little comfort.
I closed my eyes in the brightness and felt a weight
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We left his apartment and went downstairs, but not before Vicenzo stopped me every five seconds to kiss me or make some funny remark. We made our way to the exit, where I quickly grimaced as I saw his motorcycle on the street. Here we go again. "I can still make you lose your fear of my little beauty.""I'm not too sure about that." I spoke uncertainly, putting on my helmet and gripping his waist tightly, suppressing a silly little scream the moment I felt the speed of the bike bounce off my body. I stayed that way the whole way, sighing with relief when Vicenzo stopped the bike in front of the condominium. I took off my helmet and handed it to the singer, who had also taken off his as he got off the bike to help me do the same. "Thanks for last night, I loved it," I smiled half-heartedly. "And thanks for driving me home.""I appreciate it. " he winked. "I'm always available." He moved closer and glued his lips to mine, initiating a kiss that lasted a few seconds. I smiled again an
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"No, no, Carter. I was just saying hello to Helena. " Bryan said, flashing me a skewed smile. I didn't reciprocate. On the contrary, I remained serious. John held his attention on me and analyzed me minutely, as if trying to prove his friend's claim. I said nothing, just started walking towards the exit of the suffocating room.As soon as I passed in front of the two of them, John gently touched my arm, an act that made me stop halfway. "Everything okay?" He questioned, almost making me melt due to his approach to talk to me to make sure things were under control, after all, he knew the friend he had. "Yes... " My voice came out a little shaky. "I just came to get this bottle for Judith." I replied, lifting the wine that was in my hands. Bryan was just watching the whole thing with his arms crossed and his face angry. Asshole. John nodded slowly, his eyes lingering on mine for a few more seconds, until he pulled away. I smiled weakly at him and resumed my steps without looking
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John's POVI sat down on the bar stool next to Bryan and looked at him with an arched eyebrow, wondering about the mood between him and Helena. I knew him well enough and had witnessed scenes of him and his childish pranks directed at her, which I did not like. My friend stared back at me and returned the dubious expression, laughing disdainfully when he noticed my serious expression."What? Are you going to fight me for being around your protégé?" He asked sarcastically and I didn't change my expression."That depends. Have you done something to make me take such action?" I retorted with a cutting tone of voice and he frowned."Careful, Carter. With that reaction yo
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At that moment I felt relieved. Hours had passed since I had left Mr. Feldmann's house and I still hadn't received a single strange phone call. The notes I had been given would be of paramount importance, I was elated and happy that everything was falling into place. If Sandro Averbuck collaborated with us, it would be the icing on the cake. My cell phone beeped and I picked it up, seeing Cassie's name flash on the screen. I rubbed my face in a sign of fatigue and heard my office door open, revealing an imposing Lord Carter, who stared at me expressionlessly."I need the report on the Lee Feldmann case.""Okay. When?""Yesterday." He said dryly and I nodded, gathering some papers on the table. I noticed that the man was still watching me and I stopped
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Helena's POVDistantly, I stared at the door of the store that John had recently left."That was almost like a scene from one of those boring fucking romantic comedies. "Vicenzo said suddenly, making me wake up and look at him in doubt. "What exactly are you talking about? "About you and the fancy playboy. "He replied boredly, and I blinked several times, lost in his recent realization. "Who is it? You look at him like he's going to install world peace." What? NO!" I said exasperated, receiving a wry look from my colleague. I pulled myself together, totally unfazed. "He's just the son of my mom's bosses and we talk sometimes. No big deal.""No big deal. Come on, Helena! You're a terrible disguise." Vicenzo laughed as if I were the funniest joke in the universe, and I continued to stand there staring at him, arms crossed and bewildered. "I knew there was something very strange going on in that little heart of yours that you haven't fallen in love with me yet. My classmate noted and
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After arriving home and taking a relaxing shower, I sat down in front of my bedroom window with a cup of tea in hand, staring at the vast lawn ahead. Night fell and with it the temperature. The weather had closed in, showing that a storm would be here soon. I took a sip of tea and frowned when I heard a knock on the door. My mother was already in her room, so who could it be? I got up and made my way to the entrance of the house, surprising myself by bumping into a distressed John right in front of me. "Sorry to knock here at this hour, Helena, but have you seen Benedict? " He let out at once and I denied it with my head, really finding it strange that I hadn't seen him today. "No, I haven't seen him. He's not inside the house?" "No, I've looked everywhere. I don't know where else to look.", He spoke apprehensively, running his hand through his hair worriedly.Benedict had never done this, he always came excitedly to meet me or John the moment he saw us, which made me strange this
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Two hours walking.Three hours walking. Time went by and my voice was already hoarse from shouting Bento's name together with John, but to no avail. A heavy drizzle began to fall and the temperature must have dropped five degrees, because the coat I was wearing was no longer enough to soften the contact of the icy breeze with my body. Near me, a distraught John rubbed his face, muttering a "damn", venting some of his frustration. I wanted to calm him down, however, I found myself not much different. My hands were shaking and I knew very well that it wasn't due to the cold, but to the fear that something had happened to my everyday companion. Suddenly, I felt my eyes burning. I couldn't cry, after all, that would only make John even more desperate, but I couldn't help it. A tear ran down my icy face and I wiped it away quickly, a move that will not go unnoticed by Carter , who glared at me. I hugged my body in an attempt to warm myself and kept walking, taking a small step the instant
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The sweaters no longer made any difference, but the adrenaline was such that I couldn't feel the cold. I ignored the sneezing session that came out of me just as I ignored Carter's incisive looks. Looks that screamed "I told you so". We walked carefully through the underbrush, our eyes studying the whole place with the help of the flashlight. I had no idea what time it was, nor how I would wake up early the next day, but finding the German Shepherd was the only thing that mattered to me. "BENTO?! "John shouted. I stopped next to him watching intently for any movement that might arise, narrowing my eyes as I noticed something lying further ahead."John, shine the light over there," I asked, pointing at said thing. He obeyed, and I almost cried with relief as I came face to face with Benedict lying under a bush. The dog was sulking, his ears low and his muzzle resting on his front paws showed that something was not right. We ran over to him and John ducked down in front of the dog, wh
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I took his drawing out of my bag and the tears that I had held back throughout the day fell stubbornly down my face. I didn't make a point of holding them back. They flowed uninterruptedly with my full permission, as if the fact that I had omitted them worsened the intensity of the silent weeping.I analyzed the illustration, remembering his proud face as he finished his art. Benedict sprang up in front of me and I gave a start, bringing my attention to the German Shepherd sitting with his tail wagging frantically. I saw that the sash was no longer on his paw and smiled at him."Good boy, you have recovered nicely! "I stroked behind his arched ears.An extremely familiar scent invaded my sense of smell and I looked up only to confirm the veracity of such a characteristic aroma. John stopped in front of me and I quickly tried to wipe the traces of weeping from my face that surely gave away my tears. He moved closer and I cut off eye contact, focus
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"Hold on, I'll get Trish! "He got up quickly and ran to the woman, who had been pulled by the hands to where I was standing. He spoke excitedly, pointing to the two freshly painted cards."Wow, I think we have a great artist here! Tell us about them. "Trish asked kindly."The first one is a dragon and a knight! " He explained, pointing to each stroke made.I noticed heavy lines and a few other details that caught my attention. I studied it and recognized emotional indicators throughout the figure."The second one I made for her! "He pointed at me and I smiled, surprised by his gesture. "It's a boat on the sea with a sailboat and a bunch of flowers! And it has a rainbow! " He demonstrated excitedly."Thank you so much, Archie! I love the present, I'll keep it in a very special place in my room. "I announced with a warm heart, and the little guy's face lit up." You swear?!""I swear! It's beautiful," I said, t
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"Welcome again, Helena. How was your first experience here? We didn't get to talk last week, I'm sorry. I had a meeting and it messed up my schedule. "Magnolia, the director of the shelter, explained, sitting down on the chair behind the desk in her simple living room."I can imagine, don't worry, I loved it, the kids are great! "I said enthusiastically."I'm glad. They have left the class and are finishing their lunch, then they have a play activity*. Trish, our instructor, will tell you more about the whole process. You met her on your first day, didn't you? Any questions?"" No, it's all cleared up. Thank you for your willingness, Magnolia. "I stood up and shook her hand in greeting."Anything you need, you can come to me. "The woman smiled and I reciprocated.I excused myself and left the room, walking to the patio, paying attention to all the rustic details of the orphanage. I spotted a group of children running around in the
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" He said, "I'm fucking with his head! " I exclaimed falteringly. The sentence in question was making my mind go round and round endlessly towards nowhere."Wow... "" And there's more! We almost... Well, we made out today. "I said, trying to sound as unassuming as possible, but ended up sounding stammering."My friend practically screamed, and again I had to hold the cell phone away from my ear with a grimace on my face. " Everything we talk about becomes ambiguous, it's like we can't stay close to each other without a weird vibe arising, you know?"" I usually call it sexual tension." Sophie deduced and I laughed, finding the term very fitting to the circumstance."Whatever it is, it's driving us crazy. We only didn't go all the way because, guess what? Bryan showed up. " I said, allowing boredom to take over my sentence."I can't believe it! What was that asshole doing there?"" He went to get something, I didn't qu
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"He really knows how to give a welcome. " I commented, laughing at Benedict's indecision as he looked at John and me, not knowing who to play with. " His paw is fine now."" Yes. I'm taking him to the vet before he rips the band off by himself."" I'm surprised that hasn't happened yet. " I said laughing."I'm glad he's spending some of his energy on you. " She spoke with the serene smile that remained after her succession of giggles."And I always end up on the floor. John stood up and took my hands, helping me up. We stared at each other for a few seconds and I decided it was time to go home. "Thanks again for yesterday," I smiled crookedly and he denied it with his head."Not at all. "I stroked Benedict's fur one last time and nodded, seeing the dog and his owner standing side by side looking at me.I turned my back and hurried out of the garage, running through a thunderstorm that did not cease for a moment.The
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It was all so unbelievable, I had never even considered the possibility that one day I would be in the situation I was in: confused about getting involved with John beyond what could be considered normal, if you keep in mind the fact that he had always seemed unattainable to me. I didn't know whether to enjoy the moment, or rationalize about the problems that this unusual involvement would bring. I hardly knew if I could risk calling...this involvement.As much as it hurt to admit, Bryan was right. John had just gotten out of a long relationship, and although I did not know what had occurred for the breakup to take place, I knew that getting rid of the fragments of a relationship was not usually that easy. A few minutes later, John reappeared in the room with damp hair, and the unmistakable scent of his perfume wafted into the room before he had even finished coming down the stairs as he shook out his newly wet hair. He raised his eyes and found me staring like a perfect
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"I think you'd better... " I began, bewildered." É. I'll get that. "He added visibly stunned, releasing my thighs and helping me down from his lap.The feeling of incompleteness hit me full force and I was thankful that John was still supporting me, for my wobbly legs were not enough to support my trembling body, which was extremely vulnerable to the touch of the man, who was staring at me seriously. I withdrew my hands from the back of his neck and he turned away, walking to the door.I ran my trembling hands over my face with my heart racing to the point that I forced myself to breathe in and out several times in order to calm him at least a little, not believing what was happening. What was about to happen. John pulled the knob and ruffled his hair, greeting the person in front of him and I immediately closed my eyes and wished I didn't hear what I heard at that minute.It couldn't be true.Bryan's voice resonated a
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"And what would that context be, John?" I asked, forcing naivety.He finished his cigarette and left it in an ashtray nearby, all in the utmost tranquility. He turned his shameless eyes to my cynically innocent figure and ran them through mine to the point of sparking. A strong gust of wind hit us, and I cringed, though I felt warm inside. John stood up without saying a word and nodded for me to follow him; I did so. He gave me room to pass first, and then walked into the room, closing the window. I was already feeling like a complete jerk for playing his game, but when his presence was felt just behind me, a warning bell sounded that this was not going to be left out in the open like the situations between John and me used to be."I'm not sure I'm good at explaining. "The deep voice sounded too close. His warm breath bumped against my ear and I shuddered. I turned and faced him, who was watching me precisely."I'm good at understan
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"Good afternoon. "I replied, totally dull, standing there like a mummy."Are you feeling well?" he asked.I wrinkled my nose and moved uncomfortably, nodding even though I was certain that my face revealed my deplorable state. As I expected, John made an expression of not believing a word I said."You're greener than this plant, Helena. You're greener than that plant, Helena," he said, referring to the fern located near the barbecue grill.He stood up, and I stopped myself from biting my lip at seeing it all revealed like that, just after waking up. His pants were just a few fingers below his waist, leaving the bar of his black underwear showing as if it were an underwear commercial or one of those mindless advertisements for imported perfumes, in which the beautiful people only play the role of embellishing the scene, which, to my mind, made no sense at all."I'm fine," I remembered saying when I saw him a few ste
