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Chapter 19 : He was so moody
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2022-07-21 14:52:42Related chapters
TROUBLED Chapter 20 : She was so desperate
Eric - I was trying on my tux when my phone started ringing. Hooray, we definitely know who calls around this time because of the prison schedule. You could call me ungrateful because she is the reason why I didn't spend four years max in prison. It wasn't my fault and I won't take the blame for it. I didn't put a gun to her head, she did it because she loves me and that's what happens when you fall inlove kids. You become a fool, might as well dress up as a fucking clown while at it. She did it willingly and I suppose I do owe her. Sometimes I love and care about her and sometimes I'm just extremely annoyed, irritated with her. I haven't seen her in years, totally my fault. I don't like stuffy prisons, if I go there, I know I will feel worse. My conscience will get to me and I don't like having a conscience at all. I like to push that away considering I'm a compulsive liar. I don't like thinking about the consequences my actions may have on people. I only think about me and my back
Last Updated : 2022-07-21TROUBLED Chapter 21 : She was in denial
I purposely woke up earlier than her so i could watch her sleep and feel like the luckiest jerk in the world. She actually wanted me? This beautiful woman wanted me! She had not said it back as in 'Ich liebe dich' or 'I love you' but i respected that. I respected that she was still thinking about this as much as i was and figuring it out. Deep down, i knew this was just an excuse... figuring what out you may ask? I was well aware that i wanted Leona in every way possible but then there was Debby. My feelings for her were mutual maybe when i actually see her all my feelings will just come right back or not. Maybe not, maybe i just want to be with Leona then there's the thought that I felt this way about Leona because I was lonely? Felt needy? I honestly don't know. I was a confused cockroach and i was just dragging Leona into my pit of misfortunes. I am selfish enough to do that... selfish enough to not let her go be with someone who actually wants to stay with her... for as long as i
Last Updated : 2022-07-21TROUBLED Chapter 22 : She was so hurt
"You know Eva right?" I nodded before realizing she couldn't see me, how stupid!"Yes, of course. Dee." I replied trying really hard to be enthusiastic about this conversation but it just wasn't in me. I bailed myself by walking around the pool with one hand in my back pocket, kicking a few stones here and there. From afar, I could see Leona through the sliding door playing with the twins. It was a really cute scene, my heart warmed up to that. It felt like we were our own little family. It was like a trial on how we would somehow act as parents one day. I found it really weird that I was actually opening up to growing up. Growing up, finding my girl... and well-Settling down.Shit yeah, settling down. I suppose when you meet someone who makes you feel a certain way, you just don't want to wait. You want everyone to know that they're with you and for a jealous freak like me; a fucking huge rock on her finger would be the official it, to chase these perverts away."One of the guards
Last Updated : 2022-07-21TROUBLED Chapter 23 : She was distant
I stared-and stared. Looked intently. Leona came back last night, Sam drove her home. I didn't expect her to since she said she wasn't coming home. I got a little more time to talk to her mom, her dad had went straight back to work after their little vacation with Marissa and Frank. She had been giving me a cold shoulder ever since she found out that I was sleeping with her angel. She saw me as a bad guy. I practically was. I explained to her about my past and right there after she understood how and why I felt a certain way about the topic HIV. She was so consoling as she apologized about how ill-formed she had acted towards me. She even suggested a book for me to read, she said something along the lines 'it will give you inner healing to forgive your father and accept the things you couldn't change.' I read it through out the night, I didn't have much to do. She was right, it was actually good. I felt a tad bit better and less angry. I still hated him but this book gave me a dif
Last Updated : 2022-07-21TROUBLED Chapter 24 : she was my everything
Tall.Dark curly hair.Smartly trimmed stubble.Strong built.There was no denying that we were related. Absolutely no way! We both resembled our fathers more than our mothers. "Oh hi Luka!" Leona said but Luka immediately pulled her in for a hug, I felt jealous. I felt uncomfortable."Traffic was just so bad, hope you didn't wait long." She asked with concern, one thing I loved about Leona. She was such a giver, always caring about the next person instead of herself and her own needs. "No no no, I wait ten minutes only now." Luka said excitement clearly vivid in his voice. I was watching their exchange from afar. I leaned against the car with my arms crossed. I didn't want to seem excited. I just wanted to look like 'whatever, I don't care.' "You're so beautiful, I don't think my brother could get such beautiful girl." Luka teased and I held back a sneer. What was that supposed to mean? "Thank you so much Luka." "You're just so glowing almost like you carry-" Leona immediately
Last Updated : 2022-07-21TROUBLED Chapter 25 : He was so special
Why did it feel like my life was falling apart? Was it. Maybe this was the beginning of something good. Something great, something that will change my life forever. There were five things I had learnt during the past two and a half months with Eric or just from being with Eric. 1. Just because you love someone, it doesn't mean they're obligated to love you back. 2. You don't plan, never plan, live as the day goes by. You're in control but never fully in control of your fate. 3. Unplanned pregnancies are not always dreadful, if you have the right support system. 4. You can't and cannot choose who you want to fall in-love with. It's as if your heart has a mind of its own, you just follow the way as it leads. 5. Pushing someone away is harder than it seems. It's true what they say, if you love something set it free..After puking my guts out for the second time this morning , I looked at myself as I brushed my teeth on the mirror. This is really my life? This is really me. I'm going
Last Updated : 2022-07-21TROUBLED Chapter 26 : He was so idk tbh
"How was Eric as a child, Luka?" My mom asked. I finally raised my head from my phone under the table because this was interesting. We were having breakfast outside on the porch. In our backyard, our house was pretty huge, there were often rooms, we hardly even ever used. My mom decided to be spontaneous because Eric's brother was around. It's as if Eric didn't matter because he was already family but Luka mattered. The reason I was staring down at my phone was because of the stupid group chat Laura and Sam had created. To cheer me up and to just make me laugh, I stifled a laugh. Eric was staring beside me, he probably thought it was Nick and it would be best if he thought it was Nick honestly. I turned the light for my phone down down down so I could only read whatever that was on the screen and not anyone else. My parents both sat opposite Eric and I. Luka day on the left side, alone. "Eric very quiet child." Luka said with a chuckle. "I hide my report because always Eric passed ev
Last Updated : 2022-07-21TROUBLED Chapter 27 : He was so good in between
I looked at the fine looking man who slept beside me shirtless. Tracing a few of his tattoos on his chest. I could feel his heart steadily beating, steadily breathing. He had a tight grip on my waist. My naked skin against his, I had told him that I liked sleeping in my underwear because it was more comfortable. We came back home, Luka grinning from side to side.. he congratulated us. We passed by McDonald's, Eric gave into my cravings. I didn't think I would tell him but I did. I only realized I did when it was already done. He was acting so weirdly gently. He didn't want anyone passing by the sidewalk to hit me not even my shoulder. He wanted to ensure, I was comfortable in every given moment and here I was thinking he wouldn't want to be with me. When we came back home, I hid my ring. Intending to surprise everyone today. I felt so overjoyed just looking at it. Eric had done this for me? I had woken up early because my reality was finally better than my dreams. It looked super expe
Last Updated : 2022-07-21
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TROUBLED Chapter 50 : Better together
Happily ever after? Maybe not.Life is about challenges, life is about getting better, life is about constant conflicts to create a stronger bond. Life will not stay perfect but for a moment it can... not for a lifetime. There will come huddles after huddles but what makes it better is having the people you love by your side. Love is being able to put aside and forget your issues because they become irrelevant when you're with a certain person. Leona and Eric weren't perfect either. They tried their best to give their daughter a perfect family. Over the past years, there were moments when they had the worst arguments that would make Eric drive off out of anger leaving Leona worried sick until he returned or when Eric had to sleep on the couch. There were moment when Leona would get jealous of how close Eric was to his female co-workers. Moments when they would be so angry that they felt they were done and it wasn't working but after the anger cooled off they always reconciled with so
TROUBLED Chapter 49 : Ara turns 4 and a half
He was absolutely breathtaking. Not in the physical view but him being a father. It attracted her so much more than before. It built up sexual frustration, for so long she wondered if he would ever split her into two again. His voice was raspy and it made the folds in between her legs water with need. Even knowing she had a boyfriend, she still craved for Eric. She craved for everything he had to offer. He was always able to help her reach some sort of heaven. "Sweetheart, it's time to sleep." Eric told his daughter dismissively switching off the television in front of her. "No no no peaze daddy!" Ara whined. Leona watched Eric calm their daughter down, as soon as he explained that she would be visiting her grandparents. She was way too happy, she forgot about Masha and the bear. Leona felt her breasts swell with so much need under her silk gown, when they had intensely made eye contact. Eric had always been a breath of fresh air to take in but there was just so much more about him
TROUBLED Chapter 48 : Ara turns four
On that faithful night, knowing tomorrow would be his first day. Eric was a nervous-wreck. His girlfriend was sleeping in their bed, snoozing to the sound of peacefulness, snuggled in the comfy blankets while he was sitting on the bathroom floor in his boxers still on what was now a forty-three minutes phone call with the mother of his child. There were so many titles he could call her but only 'mother of my child' seemed fitting. Not baby mama or ex-girlfriend. "What if they don't like me?" Eric asked. He had avoided finally getting into a classroom right after doing his undergraduate he continued into his postgrad with the fear of actually having to be in a classroom. He furthered his studies because he feared, actually having to apply the skills he had acquired."Why wouldn't they like you? If you were my middle school teacher, I would have written a fan fiction about you." Leona snickered trying to lighten up the mood. "Oh yeah?" "Definitely!" Leona smiled even though he couldn
TROUBLED Chapter 47 : Ara turns two
Crawling, walking, running, jumping with both feet. Jumping tantrums in many shops when her parents wouldn't buy her what she wanted. Pulling and carrying toys... misplacing them and making the house a mess. Crying for the toys she misplaced. Climbing on furniture, almost giving her mother a heart attack afraid she would fall. Throwing and kicking a ball towards her dad or grandpa or Uncle Sam. Walking up the stairs while holding the rail. Daddy teaching her how to brush her teeth and hair. Mommy doesn't have to help her pull up her pants anymore. She claims to be a big girl. Turning on the faucet and leaving the bathroom a mess. How did she even reach there? Holding up utensils and crayons with her fingers instead of a fist. Repeating every word she hears. 'Fuck you, Sam!' Araceli repeating what her aunt had said while on the phone. 'Fudge-you-same'. "No no bad word Ara." She would simple giggle at her pregnant aunt scolding her. Recently she had started using words like 'why daddy
TROUBLED Chapter 46 : They were so at peace
They stood stagnant in their position for what seemed like the longest time when it had only been merely been a few minutes. Eric felt patient, he knew it wouldn't be that easy but at least he was trying. Leona let out a sigh and stared back at him with her eyes just waiting to burst the dam of tears. She looked so vulnerable. "I can't—" she sniveled when a tear fell. "I don't want this anymore. It's not going to work. We always try and you always promise that it will but as soon as something comes up. You push me away and the only person you want is Debby. It hurts because whenever I feel down and sad... the only person I want is you but you don't want me. You don't love me. If you did you wouldn't have said what you said the last time we talked." She paused. Eric could feel the physical ache in his chest. A part of him didn't know if he should let her be from here on or if he continued pursuing her that would be some sort of harassment. "You told me that you wanted a new start and
TROUBLED Chapter 45 : She was so cold
Feeling left out.Eric stood in his corner. It was seven in the evening, Leona had merely woken up a few hours ago but her room was filled with flowers and gifts. It wasn't just Leona's parents who had came to see her. It was her whole family, her aunts, uncles and so on. Eric watched how Leona little nephews and nieces crowded her near the bed. She didn't seem to mind. Every time she smiled, he felt jittery in and out. So jittery, he was forced to lowly clear his throat. She wasn't smiling at him though. Eric was concerned, with how many people were coming in and out of Leona's room. If he wasn't mistaken, he had seen almost half of the church fellowship in the hallways. Happiness radiated all across the room. It made Eric realize that Leona was such a good person so much that everyone loved her. No one had anything horrible to say about her... if there was it would have to be Robbie. He wanted to stay in his place and not invade her space like everyone was. "Araceli is awake now, I
TROUBLED Chapter 44 : It felt so surreal
13:56 There was a sharp smell of disinfect invading her nostrils, a metallic tang from stainless steel in the open air. The room silent with void except for the beeping sound that indicated she is alive. Her eyes flew wide open, her lashes like a curtain blinding her vision. Confusion passed through her mind... 'Where am I?' Out of instinct her hand immediately reached for her stomach. Her other other reached for her stomach yet again feeling nothing over the hospital gown. Her brain started to register what was happening when she saw the blue color scheme surrounding the room. Shutting her eyes she remembered bleeding... on her way—"My baby!" She said hoarsely, her throat dry. She sat up straight from the bed. Her joints cracking into place after not having moved for over a month. She did not know that, infact everything in her mind had happened yesterday. She was about to get out of bed when a nurse came in and gasped. "Oh my Leona..." She rushed, making Leona stay back in bed.
TROUBLED Chapter 43 : He was trying
"She has this thing right?" Eric chuckled lightly thinking about it. "Where she burps out milk and most of the time it's always on my shirt. I haven't showered in two days. She is going home today so I might have to book a hotel or something.." "Ew Ricky, she is extra sensitive and you might give her infections with your filth, for fucksake go shower and maybe shave... it's weird seeing you with stubble." Debby replied referring to the pictures Eric had sent. The focus was supposed to be on Araceli not him. He rolled his eyes at her response but admitted to the fact that he could really use a shower."Damnit Debby! I cant leave her sight knowing Robbie works here.." he added. "Yeah... he seems so spiteful. Leona told me what he said on her last appointment." That I should have been at. Eric thought cautiously. It bothered him that if she passes, that would mean they left everything off on a very bad note and absolutely nothing could change that. He would have to live with that guil
TROUBLED Chapter 42 : She was so perfect
- I am by no means forcing Christianity on anyone. I think we all knew what we were getting into when the story read 'Christian boyfriend'. I'm not the most religious person but I'm just glad I get to show people of God's works even in the most distinct way, where ever I can. It's also okay to skip if it offends or makes you feel uncomfortable. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion :D —Faith. Putting faith in God would mean we believe that even though things look tangled up, God is able to untangle them. When tragic things happen, putting faith in God means we believe, no matter how bad things look, that God will work them together for good. (Romans 8:28) When God says he will work all things for good, there is no exception. Too often, we look at what we are experiencing and can not fathom how it will work out, but that's exactly when we need to place that situation into his capable hands. God is not stunned by our struggles or trials. We get a call from the doctor with res
