It's been quite a long time since I've felt such lightheartedness in my heart. Being around Ava Lily Davies has done just that and I don't regret taking up this job. I might look at the pay and think it's good and comment about it, but my time with Ava is above that.
I almost even forgot that I was looking after her as her nanny, earlier on, because of how near natural it felt to be around her. I have been able to observe and confirm that Ava, is quite a shy child and not to mention, that she totally likes when I read to her. I think she actually watches me acting out the book, more then listen to me.
It was the cutest thing when it was her lunch time and she kept on, wanting to share her food with me. I had to show her my own food, so she would be convinced that I was eating too. She simply likes to share.
We've had time to play, read, listen to some music and dance and ofcourse, have a little walk outside in her backyard. The little junglegym at her backyard is the cutest thing, though she not interacting with other kids, or rarely going to the park, is a thing to frown upon. Another thing that made me frown is how Kelly kept changing the subject, about Ava's mom.
What I was able to make sense of, is that Ava's mom didn't live in this house. I just wonder where she is and if she's missing her daughter right now.
I know I would.
" Sky-Sky look." A small voice says, earning my attention.
A smile makes its way onto my face as I watch Ava rising to her feet and coming towards me. The look of excitement on her face as she holds out a paper with a piece of drawing, makes my heart to flutter.
" Wow, you did this?" I say, widening my eyes in an amazement motion.
" Yes." She nods her head, glancing between her drawing and me.
I take the paper and take a good look at the drawing.
" Is it for daddy?"
She shakes her head no and points to me.
" Me?" I gasp dramatically.
" Yes!"
She has scribbled alot of things, so not wanting to disappoint her, I take the paper and kiss it. A big smile takes over her face when I throw a wink her way, I place the paper aside and pick her up, placing her on my lap.
" I love love love it, Ava. Wow, it is so pretty!"
Giggles burst out of her lips when I start peppering kisses on her face, whilst lightly tickling her sides.
My own laugh slips out because her laugh is contagious, finally stopping and not wanting her to lose her breath, I take her small hands and kiss both palms. I chuckle when she picks up my hand and places her own small one, ontop of mine.
" I think yours is very pretty and too tiny."
" Pwetty."
"My hand?"
She turns my hand around and touches my soft pink coloured nails.
" Hmm, maybe one day, we can get our nails done."
She shows me her fingers and I pretend to bite them, but she keeps them away. My moment with Ava gets interrupted when I feel that we are being watched.
Seeing Mr Cullen standing at the living room doorway, watching us, makes me to tense up. As quickly as our eyes meet, I look away, giving my attention back to Ava.
I continue playing with her and ignoring him.
" Buggyboo?" I sigh when I hear him call Ava, diverting her attention.
When she sees him, an excited look takes over her face and I help her get down from my lap. I watch her trudge towards him, her arms already opened wide and ready to be picked up. He meets her halfway and picks her up, a smile threatens to come out as I watch her squeal in joy when Mr Cullen blows raspberries on her chest and tummy, but his eyes glance to me and that smile doesn't come out.
" I missed you Buggyboo."
" Miss you BB."
I quickly drop my eyes to my lap, wanting to contain my smile of amusement from coming out.
I can't believe he let her call him BB, but I get it, one can find themselves caving in for Ava, she just has that effect on people. I mean who can dare to say no to this cutiepie.
" So tell me, how are you doing hmm?"
" Good."
" Well that's good. Were you a good girl?" He raises his brows at her and she nods vigorously.
He looks at me and I hold my breath, waiting for a negative comment or something not nice to be said, but surprisingly he says something different. " Her dad will be home a little later, so I'll stay with her."
I nod and rise to my feet, starting to tidy up around the living room. The whole time I'm busy, I don't look his way, giving them space.
I return to the living room from the kitchen, to see Mr Cullen sitting on the floor, having taken off his suit jacket and now drawing with Ava. I'm supposed to not be touched by the sight, because Mr Cullen is involved but it's so cute to see him give Ava control and let her feel like the teacher, as she teaches him how to draw.
He doesn't look like that man who had been horrible to me, who had insulted me but he looks like a totally different person. He looks so gentle with her and it almost look fatherly?
As if he knows I am here, he glances up and our eyes meet. Feeling weird for watching like a creep, I cough awkwardly and enter into the living room, walking over to take my bag so I can leave. I make sure to not forget Ava's drawing.
" I have made her something to eat, if she gets hungry." I tell him before crouching down to her level.
" Ava?" She looks at me.
" I have to go now, but I'll see you tomorrow okay?"
She doesn't say anything but just looks at me.
" Ava?" I frown a little when she doesn't answer me.
A soft smile lifts on my face when she leaves her drawing and comes over to me. " Pwomise?"
I hold up my pinky and help her to do the same, before connecting our fingers together. " Pinky Promise."
" Piky pwomise."
I smile at her and she smiles at me.
Relief washes over me when I see that she is convinced by my words and I no longer, see her upset. I kiss her little pinky before pulling her into my arms and kissing her temple.
" I'm going now okay?"
She nods.
" Why don't we walk her out Ava?"
" No, no....It's okay." I quickly say, looking at him. " Ava and I have talked and we understand each other."
It's better if I leave while Ava and me have an understanding.
I take my bag and rise to my feet.
" I should go now." I say, walking past him.
" Miss Grey?"
I stop in my tracks and release a sigh, before glancing over my shoulder to look at him.
" You made the right choice."
I hold myself back from replying, but simply turn around and walk away.
*******
I talked to my mother and now I am relieved. She finally knows about me quitting my job and giving Mr Sanders a piece of my mind. Just like Lucia had said, mom would be very understanding, no, more then understanding, but very proud of me.
I could hear the concern in her tone as I was telling her everything, but then she was relieved to learn that I landed myself another job. At first, I was worried when I mentioned my new job as a nanny to mom, because she would start bringing up the past but thankfully she didn't.
I think she is still under the impression that I can't handle, being around children right now. I can understand her concerns, due to her having watched me go through the toughest change in my life.
Eversince mom and dad seperated, she has been so protective about me and sensitive too. It was hard seeing mom and dad seperating, it was heartbreaking to watch my dad walk out of the house but as time passed, I finally accepted because after he walked out that door, he showed me a different side of him.
I rarely see dad and the time I get to see him, is limited. He's always busy and calling him is like trying to get a hold of the mayor or the president. I've literally stopped trying and I've just focused on my mom more, because she is the only parent who is available.
I love my dad, but if he can't make an effort with me, then I wont do it either. It's sad to admit it, but my dad doesn't even know about me having had a child and giving her up for adoption, he doesn't know this part of my life, the most sensitive part of my life. I don't know how he would react, if he ever found out.
I think it's enough now, that one of my parents knows. I'll just have to see how things unfold, when the other does.
There are a few people who are close to me, who are aware of two years ago and had shown great support to me. One of those people is Lucia's cousin, Jackson. My childhood crush. I think it's far better when I refer to him as my childhood crush. He's a really goodlooking guy with light brown long shouldered hair, dark eyes and I just like how he looks good in jeans.
Just like he is now as he comes my way. I'm currently at a diner that's just a walking distance from my apartment, I've been chilling here for close to 15 minutes now, not that it has been a surprise to see him here because he comes here often, it's that he's hinted that he wants to join me and now, I have to think of something to say and not act weird.
Jackson was an impossible dream when I was young and still, as we are now grown up, he still has that small effect on me. I still don't know why he would even give me the time of day, he's always been the cool guy. The way he carries himself is admirable, he's hardworking, always on the move and he wasn't a player.
To the girls he's dated, he's had long term with them and that just shows that, he puts in the work in a relationship. I know his family and they are very welcoming people. He's closest to his mom and it is the sweetest thing, to watch him fuss over her.
A confused frown takes over my face when a piece of cake is placed infront of me. I look up and Jackson smiles down at me.
"A little something to say congratulations, for your new job."
" Oh, uh thank you." I say, my face warming up.
" I wanted to come by your place so many times -"
" Then why didn't you?" My eyes widen after I cut him off. " Uh I mean, I wouldn't have minded if you came by." I quickly say, dropping my eyes to my lap.
" I wanted to, I just didn't get the chance."
" Oh, that's okay. Thank you again for this." I gesture to the cake before getting started in eating it.
" We should do something more to celebrate your new job." He suggests.
" N-no that's not necessary -"
" Actually it is, you're one of the people that deserves to have something nice done for them. You've been working so hard all your life and you faced so much in the last two years that -" he stops short when I look away.
Being reminded of two years ago is something that's happening way too much now, especially with seeing Mr Cullen and then Ava. I just don't feel like talking about it.
" I'm sorry."
I look at him with a frown. " Why are you apologising."
" I've just dampened your mood."
" N-no no, it's not like that...." I quickly say, reaching out to take his hands but I stop within reach, when I realize what I was about to do.
I pull my hands back to my lap, feeling awkward.
" Lets not talk about two years ago, lets talk about -"
" Do you want to go out?" My eyes almost bulge out of my face after the slip of my tongue.
What the heck did I just say?
*******
A week and a few days has passed now and here I am, still Ava's nanny. In these days, I have already witnessed the cranky Ava and also the upset Ava. I've had to be creative in ways of calming her down and so far, I've succeeded.
Ava is not a difficult toddler to watch over, she just needs someone to be attentive and to make her feel like she's being heard. Listening to her and letting her take the lead, either in a game or just simply give her room to figure things out, has shown me that Ava, will be an independent soul.
In the short space of time, that I've been working for Mr Davies, I still haven't heard much about Ava's mom. She still continues to be a mystery to me and it kind of makes me more nervous then curious, on learning the truth on what happened to her.
Luckily, I have seen what she looks like and to be honest, there is no real similarity between her and Ava, other then her skin colour. I was aware from day one that Ava is a mixed baby, with her dad being caucasian and her mom black. She is a very beautiful woman and with Mr Davies, they make a very goodlooking couple.
What I had taken notice of, in which has warmed my heart, is the daddy and daughter duo, that Ava and Mr Davies makes. Mr Davies is simply a caring dad and he never wants to see his daughter not smiling, whenever Ava excitedly jumps up and down or tries to quickly make her way, to him, his face immediately lights up. It's so sweet.
One of the most relieving parts about these days, is not seeing much of Mr Cullen. Apparently, they've been busy at work and this, I overheard in passing as Mr Davies was over the phone. I have been okay and not seeing the man, has made me way more comfortable in Mr Davies's home.
After that day that, that he had said that I made the right decision, he never really said anything to me the day after. Not talking to each other and simply pretending that he is not there, has worked out great for me and I think I should do that more often.
I should simply ignore Ava's uncle, yes, Mr Cullen is Ava's uncle. It's unfortunate for me but true. Apparently, Mr Cullen is the brother to Ava's mom and Ava's mom was adopted into the Cullen family. Mr Cullen and Mr Davies have been friends for a long time and it just worked out, when Mr Davies fell inlove with Mr Cullen's sister.
I just wonder what Mr Cullen's reaction was, when he learnt that his best friend had fallen inlove with his little sister?
I mean, that man is aggressive and I can't imagine him lasting in a relationship, seriously.
' Gosh, why have I been thinking about that man, it doesn't matter to me if he dates or gets married. As long as he stays away from me and we don't annoy each other, then I'm good.'
I roll my eyes at my thoughts.
' I should be focused on tonight because tonight, I'm hanging out with friends.'
I let out a smile as Lucia comes back to join me at our table. I haven't really gone out to the dancefloor yet and I have no real desire to do so. Infact, I regret even suggesting this.
It's just that I had no other option, then to make the club as sone form of excuse, as to why I was asking Jackson out. When I asked him out, I didn't mean it like that, wanting to go on a date with him, I meant hanging out with friends, and now, for damage control I had to bring in Lucia and Charlie.
I didn't explain anything to her and now I think I'll have to, I just don't want her to think I'm after her cousin. I don't wish that she gets the wrong idea.
" I still can't believe that you wanted to visit this scene again."
I didn't, but I had no choice.
I shrug. " Just wanted to let loose a little, you know!"
She nods, though her eyes are showing suspicion.
" Lets have a drink!" I suggest, already ahead of her in taking a shot.
Her eyes widen before she giggles and follows my lead. I trample any other bothering thought and just let myself be in the present, with my friends. Time passes and before I know it, I am on the dancefloor with Lucia, breaking some serious moves.
I am so into my time of fun that I almost miss it, the feeling of being watched. Someone is watching me, I can feel their gaze on me and it is strong. This pulls me to a stop and now I'm the one searching for the person, responsible.
My search leads me upstairs, where VIP usually is and there stands a tall man, looking down at me. He holds me captive with his gaze and now, we are in a staring match. I might not get much of detail on his features, due to the change of lights on the dancefloor.
My breath gets stuck in my throat when he starts moving, he is coming down the stairs and every now and then, he glances my way. It hits me them and it hits me so strong, when he glances at me for the third time and the bright light passes by the stairs, that I know him.
I know him well because I'm taken back to years ago, 2 years to be exact. I was at the club and this happened, I'm in some form of deja vu right now.
He is the man who swooped in and made me fall weak to my knees, he pursued and I gave in, until the next few days, where he showed me his true nature. He is that same man, that broke pieces of my heart amd now he is coming to me, I know it, I can feel it.
Reece Cullen is coming.
" So, will you tell me what happened back there?" Jackson asks, after 5 minutes of silence in his car.I couldn't remain in that place anymore, I couldn't watch him come close to me and insult me. I felt like I was reliving two years ago but only this time, I could foresee him insulting me infront of everyone. No, I couldn't take that chance and so, all I could think of doing was running away. I didn't even say anything to Lucia, it was an advantage for me to slip away when Charlie came to the dancefloor and distracted Lucia. I had no idea that Jackson had been watching and he chased after me, no matter how many times I told him that he need not worry and that I would call a cab, he insisted on taking me home.Now here we are, seated in his car, inside the premesis of the apartment complex. I don't know how to really answer his question, because I don't want to start revealing about Mr Cullen being th
" Will you come with me?" He says and I nod, since I'm feeling way too tongue tied and emotional to think straight.He takes the lead and I feel his hand against my back, softly guiding me to where ever, he wishes for us to go. I take notice of his car and this makes my footsteps to slow down. " Where are we going?" I finally ask." Somewhere far from here, maybe the park?" He says before heading to the driver's side, to take something.When he returns infront of me, I see him hold out something and glancing down to his hand, my face warms up because it's his handkerchief.I'm so embarassed to be seen in this vulnerable state, I'm literally crying infront of Mr Davies and there is no way to hide this fact." T-thank you." I say with a soft voice, recieving it.I look away from him as I wipe at my eyes. " Would you li
" I already ate." I say, turning around and walking away, leaving the door open.I've just invited them in, though I shouldn't because I'm still upset with Lucia. She pushed too much and now I can't stop thinking about what happened. I've worked so hard to atleast, to make peace with everything and move on, but she keeps pulling me back to that placr of always talking about it. I gave my baby away, she is with a nice family and being taken care of by people who love her. " Well you can eat later, but just know that we're not taking all this food back." She says as they enter.I head on to the kitchen, taking a seat on a chair. Lucia follows suit, sitting opposite me while Charlie remains standing by the doorway. A moment of silence takes passes with neither of us attempting to say anything, for a while I don't look at them but when I feel a gaze on me, I let out a sigh and glance at Charlie.
Shoot." Miss Grey." He calls me again and I sigh, turning around slowly and preparing for something to say.When I finally face him, he says, " Were you running away?" " N-no, I wasn't." I quickly answer, feeling like I've been caught red handed.A smirk takes over his face and he steps forward, but I take a step back, wanting to maintain as much distance between us as possible.His eyes are quick to notice what I just did but I don't care. I just don't want him to be near me, distance between us is best." Oh you weren't?" He raises his brow at me and the tone he uses, tells me that he neither believes me and is enjoying this, as if he has an upper hand or something." No I wasn't." I say cheekily." Okay then, why were you leaving just now?" " I don't see anything I like here." Why am I even explaining myself to him rig
I definitely feel like a mother right now with Ava. Tonight, her father is late and because his phone has been switched off, I couldn't find it in me to leave Ava alone. Well, not that she would be alone because Kelly and the others would be here, but it just felt right if I do stay.Besides, Ava wanted me to stay.I had the opportunity to see how Ava was during the evening, whether she gets cranky or not when sleepy by this time of night. Surprisingly, she wasn't difficult at all or maybe it's because she was tired. I fed and bathed her and before I knew it, I was seated on the rocking chair with her on my lap, pretty much reading a story to her.This felt nice, to have her head resting against my chest. A smile makes its way onto my face when I feel her snuggle into my chest and a small sigh releases from her lips. My heart surely flutters because to me, this says that she is content and she has found comfort in my arms.
If I had to be granted one wish, it would be that I don't see Mr Cullen ever again, but I know that it's near impossible because he's Ava's uncle and he's basically family, so it's unlikely he'd stay away.Quitting wouldn't be as easier as I had initially thought, I mean I signed a contract and I'd have to give my notice, not to mention that I'd have to look for another job.Gosh, job hunting is exhausting seriously, but necessary. The most important part that is holding me firm from even thinking about quitting, is little Ava. It's just hard to even think about leaving and never seeing her again. She has become a part of my life just like I have in hers.In such a short time, I've grown familiar to being around that little girl, so that's why I can't leave. Though I'm not saying I never will, because Mr Cullen is just doing everything he can to push me towards that decision, Ava always seems to come to mind and every o
To think that the mention of my father wanting to see me, would surprise me but it didn't. I think I've outgrown waiting for him to make contact.It's been years since we've spoken and I can't help but wonder what the real reason behind him wanting to see me, might be. I mean we've never lasted days of being around each other when he actually came to see me, he's always been busy and now that I am, he makes contact.Back then, I had thought of confronting him on his actions towards me and how he broke his promises each time, but then I'd thought better of it. This time if ever the time allowed me to see him again, maybe I might just tell him how I've felt all these years.I ended last night's call with my mother, having not given her a definite answer about meeting him, I really feel undecided about this. It's a little confusing on why this time, he actually bothered mom if he wanted to talk to me so badly.
The only time I believe my eyes truly connected with his hazel ones, was the time I was in surrender to him. His eyes had been sincere and held truth with hints of desire in them, but right now, as I stare into the very same eyes that have shown indifference, intimidation and always a scary warning, tonight everything in them is different.Different in the sense that he is looking at me differently. Something familiar sparks in them, he's not looking at me as a stranger but as someone he knows. This makes my heart to pick up and I pull my arm back, taking a step back and creating space between us.My lips part in surprise of his next move, when he takes a step forward with intended intention to close the already open gap.' What is this man doing? - Why is he trying to come close to me?' I'm already an emotional mess and this man's actions are not helping the situation, not to mention that the ra
4 Years later.... " Mommy!" I turn around at the sound of that sweet voice. I watch in anticipation as she runs to me, her long hair falling behind her. The moment I capture her in my arms, I bury my face in her hair, loving her sweet smell. " Hello my cutie pie." I say, double pecking her cheeks. Kissing her cheeks is still one of my favorite things to do. " Hi Mommy, look what I got." I place her back down on her feet, crouching down to her level, so we can look at what she has in hand together. " Oh, a gold star!" I gasp, widening my eyes in a surprised manner. " Ms Martin said my drawing is pretty." " I agree, it is so pretty. So tell me, who did you draw?" " My family." " Ooh, I see mommy, daddy, daddy C, granny and grandp
" Mrs Cullen." He says, pulling me close." Mr Cullen." I smile at him." My breathtakingly beautiful bride." He says, touching his forehead with mine.He leans back with a smile, his eyes expressing so much love for me, that it causes my heart to do weird flips.A laugh bubbles out of me, when he twirls me around and ends with a dip, bringing me back up and not giving me a chance to breathe, when he whispers those three beautiful words, that never fail to make me blush like crazy." I love you."My breath catches in my throat, when he kisses me behind my ear." I can't wait for us to be alone." He says." You know, I didn't think you'd last for these couple of months." I say teasingly." I'm glad I did, now I can rub it in your face that I'm a man of my word."" Careful Mr Cullen, or I might think I'm not
I either must be naive or stupid, for even giving him the go ahead, for him to even talk to her.She is a really attractive woman, I'll give her that, but she, showing up here announced and not to mention the fact that she found a way, to get information of where Reece is, now that does not sit well with me.I can't say I am sitting calmly right now, because I've been biting on my nails and glancing at the door, for the last 5 minutes or so. It hasn't been long since he stepped out to talk to her.It had not been a simple agreement, for them to talk, but Reece actually asked if I was okay with it, and I said yes.Oh gosh, I was totally lying.I could only think of him as I said yes, I wanted him to finally face her and not have to continue living with what ifs. I know that the present has been good on us so far, our family and our engagement, but it's only fair for him, to finally say his
" You look so happy." My mother says." Do I?"" Yes, and I love seeing this look on you. It's been a long time, since I've seen it." She says, touching my hair." I must look good then, huh?" I wiggle my brows, making her smile.My own smile wavers and it is replaced by a frown , where I worry about what I see." I think someone isn't as happy, as you say I do." I comment, gesturing to the sight of both my dad and Reece, who look too serious in conversation, from a distance." I've been talking to your dad, and from what I have observed, I can tell that he is opening up. He understands that Reece will always be in your life, because Ava is what bonds you two, together."" I hear you mom and thank you for talking to him." I say, glancing at her.She nods, with a small smile." I think if I hesitated for too long, we wouldn
I'm not one to watch people like a creep, but this morning, I find myself doing it with Reece. He's sleeping so soundly and looking so handsomely boyish, it's cute.He looks like someone with no heavy burdens on his shoulders, and the sight of him sleeping so soundly, tempts me to plant kisses on his face.I realize while watching him, that my heart is speaking. It's even making notes and claiming him as mine.The beautiful man before me is mine and that keeps my heart, skipping beats, in acknowledgment. As I watch him sleep, images of us being together even in the future, with years gone by, play beauty in a slide show. I see a future with this man and I see happiness, with my family.After all that we have been through, the past is just a dim light, that can't overthrow us, but the future looks ever bright and something to have strong faith in.I've had a taste of many circles, hurdles,
WEEKS LATER....' Custody, will be granted to the biological mother, Skylar Grey, as of today.' These are the words that have brought a smile onto my face, for the past weeks.Hearing it being declared and being made official, that Ava is supposed to be with me, as her mother. So much worry had gripped me, standing there and waiting for the verdict.I had worried that because I was in contact with an adoption agency, and that financially, I'm not in the level of the Cullen family, it would be used against me, and would be the main factor, which would make me lose the possibility of having custody of Ava, but no.Custody has been granted to me and she has been with me, ever since.With her being so young, the solution came from the discussion that happened, between me, Reece and Colton, one time, on the days approaching the day for court. The solu
" Thank you for bringing her over." I say to Jane." Anytime you need me to bring her to you, just call me."I nod." Hopefully, I won't need to do that anymore, soon." I say, looking at Ava.I'd asked Jane to bring Ava, so I could spend the whole afternoon with her. Two days have passed, since I last saw everyone, except Ava of course.At first, I'd asked Kelly to bring her over but then, I later considered asking Jane, since I didnt want to be the cause for a disturbance, at her workplace." How have you been holding up?" She asks me, after some minutes of silence between us, passes." Better than the last time you saw me."" That's good. At least, you've had some time to yourself, and some time to think."" Not enough, unfortunately. All that keeps coming back, is Ava, and the time I lost out with her."
I've been having a hard time, taking my eyes off of her. I know that we have spent time together, but it feels like the first time, now that I know who Ava is in my life.Oh gosh, she is my daughter.My own daughter, who I carried in my womb for nine months.With it being late, we decided to return back to Colton's home and I won't lie, and say that I didn't wish to take her back to my place immediately.I had to remind myself that this was not just about me, but Ava, and the changes, that would befall her as time goes.There is so much that will need for us to adjust to, and as difficult as some things may be, but Ava is the most important.I'm a mother, and as a mother, I have to put my daughter first.Gosh, my daughter, it hasn't sunk in totally. It's like a dream, that I wish to not wake up from.Being seated on the rug, against the so
" Do you ever think about the future?" He asks me." Sometimes, why?" I say.He doesn't answer for a few seconds as we are walking, until at some point, he does." I haven't been able to think of me alone in the future. It's not possible anymore." He glances to me and days, " I see you in it."My heart skips a beat, when I hear this coming from him." I think about you a lot."" Does this mean, there's a possibility of seeing me in your future?"I smile at him.Pulling his arm around my shoulders, I wrap my own arm around his middle and we continue on.When we finally reach my apartment complex, we turn to each other." Well, this is me." I say.He reaches out his hand, to gently push back my hair behind my ear." I want to take you away, for a while."" Y