“And we also have some gardening to do, Miss E. There’re some basil and tomatoes that we planted before we left that need to be tended to.”“But I wanna go back.”“We will, one day soon,” I told her. “And we’re going to visit so many other places as well. Isn’t that something to be excited about?”“I gu-ess.”I lifted the curls off her neck, twisting them into a messy bun that I secured with an elastic from my wrist. “Remember that list of desserts we came up with that we want to try to re-create?”“Y-esss.”“Well, think of all the desserts we had on this trip that we can add to that list.” I leaned into her ear. “Like those strawberry brownies with chocolate fudge. Remember those?” I wiped the wetness off her face.She nodded, and after several seconds, she replied, “Yum-my.”“And the homemade ice cream we can make.”Her crying subsided, her little brows rising. “With M&M’s?”“Sure, we can try adding M&M’s to our ice cream.”“Mmm.” Her eyes went so wide after she rubbed them with her
“Syd’s my friend, Daddy.”That made me smile, and I said, “I will always be your friend. That will never change. And I’m still your nanny. That won’t change either.”“What do you think about that?” he asked her.She was quiet for a moment and finally responded, “Will we still do fun things together?”“Oh, sweetheart,” I said so softly, “of course we will. We’ll do all the things we’ve done before.”“Yay!”I connected eyes with Ford before he leaned toward Everly.“You understand that means that Sydney is now my girlfriend and she’s going to be at the house a lot more?” He turned her face, locking their eyes. “We’re still going to have our special time together—I want you to know that. But Sydney will join us during some of those occasions, and sometimes, you and I will be alone.”She said nothing.And then, slowly, a devilish grin came across her face. “Daddy, are you gonna smooch Syd like Uncle D smooched Kendall at my birthday party?”This kid.I couldn’t possibly adore her more.An
“You’re going to love it. The air, the scenery, the hotel I’ve chosen for us.” I smiled. “The fact that Gloria has a bakery inside the lobby.”“I die.”I chuckled. “You will.”Her face lit up under the setting sun. Her hair blew in the breeze. Her eyes turned warmer despite how icy they appeared.God, she was gorgeous.I would never stop thinking that.I would never be able to get enough of her.I cleared my mind with another swig of wine and said, “Once Everly starts school and gets settled, I’d like for just the two of us to get away. I want you to choose where we go.”She pointed at her chest. “You want me to pick the location?”I nodded. “Anywhere.”“Oh, that’s tough. There are so many beautiful places I’d like to see.”“We can go to all of them.”“Ford …” She exhaled, and her head dropped. She stayed like that for a moment until she placed her napkin down and got up from her chair. She came over to my side of the table and sat on my lap, wrapping her arm around my neck. “I feel s
Twenty-TwoSydneyI opened the backseat door of Ford’s SUV and said to Everly, “Jump in, my little muffin.”She climbed into her high-back booster seat and got settled. “Syd, I’m pooped.”I laughed, adjusting her placement and securing her in, locking the seat belts in place. “That makes two of us, girlie.” I checked to make sure it was all tight. “Comfy?”“Yep.” She yawned, and once Ford joined us in the doorway, she added, “Daddy, that hike was haaard.”“I was trying to tire you out. Did it work?”I knocked him on the shoulder—for Everly and for me. “It worked. We’re exhausted.”“Exhauuusted,” Everly echoed.I shut the door and giggled to Ford. “That kid,” I said before I went over to the other side of the SUV and climbed into the passenger seat.Ford started up the car and pulled out of the lot. “Are we stopping for ice cream? Or are my girls too tired?”“Ice cream!”“We’re never too tired for that,” I told him.His hand went to my thigh, and I watched him look into the rearview m
Her skin was pale, ghostly.She took in a breath, her lips slowly parting, her eyes filling. “Daddy …” The first tear dripped, followed by many more. “It hurts.” And then, “Help … Daddy.”“I can’t open”—Ford slammed his fist into the door, shaking the SUV—“the fucking door. Get me the fuck out of this car!”“You’re going to hurt yourself even worse,” I cried out to him.“I don’t give a fuck. I need to get to my daughter.”“I’m climbing back there right now.” I slid through the small opening between our seats and landed on the seat beside Everly’s. “Tell me where it hurts.” I gently touched one leg and said, “Here?”She didn’t answer.She just looked at me, confusion filling her eyes.“How about here—”“Ow!” she shouted when I reached her belly.“What’s going on, Sydney?! Tell me what’s wrong!”I lifted her shirt; a large bruise was forming on her abdomen.“Oh God, Ford, there’s a bruise on her side.”What does that mean?I touched her forehead.She was sweaty.Not like when she’d been
“Your arm—”“It’s fine, Sydney.”“It’s not fine,” a woman said, stopping us before we even took a step. Her uniform told me she was also a paramedic. She held his arm with gloved hands. “It’s definitely broken.”He pulled his arm away from her and said, “I need to be with my daughter.”“Then, I’ll look at it when we get in the ambulance.” Her gaze moved over to me. “Were you in the car with them?”I nodded. “Yes.”“Do you need to get checked out as well?”“No, I’m okay.”“You two, follow me,” she said.As I held Ford, we hurried behind the paramedic, weaving around the people who had pulled over to watch or help along with the firemen and police.When we arrived at the back of the ambulance, a paramedic was standing there, gripping the doors.He asked, “Who’s going with her?”“I am,” Ford replied. He looked at me. “Meet us at the hospital.”The hospital.I tried to find my breath, my chest pounding. “How? What hospital?”“Cedars-Sinai,” the paramedic replied.He helped Ford into the b
Ford was walking in.His arm in a sling, a bandage on his forehead, another on his neck.I threw my arms around him. “You’re okay.” I pressed my cheek against his chest. “Thank God you’re okay.” I finally pulled my head back and reached up to his face, holding it, taking him all in. “How is she?”He wrapped his uninjured arm around me and said nothing for a few seconds. “I don’t know. They took her somewhere, and they won’t tell me anything.”“I called your mom. She’s on her way here. She’s going to get in touch with your brothers.”Silence built between us as we stared at each other.An aching quietness that I felt in my gut.“That car”—his head dropped, his hand rubbing across the top of his hair—“it came out of fucking nowhere. I didn’t have time. I couldn’t …”“Ford”—I gripped his good arm, shaking him, making him look at me—“this isn’t your fault.”“But she’s back there. All by her-fucking-self. And she’s hurt. And that’s my fucking fault.”“No, it’s not, do you hear me?” I squee
I continued looking at the nurse, ignoring my father as I tried again to say, “I’m happy to give AB, but I know that won’t be of any help.”She shook her head. “It won’t.”“I can donate,” Sydney said from behind me.I turned to face her as she was pushing herself off the wall, walking toward the nurse and me.“I happen to be O positive,” she added.I glanced at the nurse as she asked, “Are you all right with this? Her blood will be tested before it’s given to Everly.”“Yes,” I replied. “Of course.”The nurse held the door open a little wider and voiced, “Please come with me,” to Sydney.As they disappeared and the door shut, I felt everyone’s eyes on me.Still, I didn’t worry about them.They weren’t important at the moment.I needed my baby out of surgery.I needed her safely in my arms.Where she belonged.I didn’t know what her recovery was going to look like, how long it would take her to heal, but I knew I wasn’t going to leave her side until she was back to being the little girl