My hands shook; my knees didn’t want to hold me up. “That was months ago, I assume. Yet you waited until now to show up. Why? I don’t fucking get it.” I took in the baby’s face, those chunky cheeks and plump, heart-shaped lips. “Why didn’t you tell me the second you found out you were pregnant, Rebecca? Why didn’t you tell me once you went to the doctor and had it confirmed? You’ve had forty weeks”—I sucked in some air—“forty goddamn weeks—and you’re here now? After?”
Does she want money? Is that why she showed up out of nowhere?
Is it something else?
My thoughts weren’t straight.
My head a cloudy mess of questions.
My chest a steady, relentless ache.
Rebecca pressed the baby against my stomach.
I immediately reacted, cupping my arms beneath her, taking the weight of this small, precious bundle, holding her so carefully that I didn’t wake her.
Rebecca took a step back and said, “The truth is, I never intended to tell you about her. I was just going to give her up for adoption, and you would have never even known she was born.”
I held the baby tighter, tilting her toward my chest. “What made you change your mind?”
“The social worker. I didn’t trust her and decided I wanted better for the baby.” She nodded toward my arms. “She wrapped her arms around our daughter, and I took her back.” Her eyes were getting misty. “It wasn’t right.”
“I don’t understand.” My head shook as I tried to process what I was hearing. “What are you saying?”
“I don’t want her, Ford. I want you to have her, raise her. Be the parent she needs. The parent I can’t be to her.” The tears started to well in her eyes. “You’ll be so much better than me.” She placed the bag on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around her still-swollen belly. “After today, you’ll never see me again.”
I glanced between Rebecca and the baby. “Let’s go inside and talk about this. I’m sure you’re just exhausted and—”
“I never wanted her, Ford. My feelings haven’t changed now that she’s born.” She held her hand out as though she was stopping me from coming closer. “Either you take her or I’m calling the social worker in the morning.” With her other hand, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a card. “I kept her information.” Tears now dripped down her cheeks.
“Rebecca, you need to give me a minute to process this.” I looked at the baby again, my brain not computing that I was holding my child in my arms. I tried to connect the pieces of her that resembled me. The eyes? Nose? I couldn’t think; I couldn’t even breathe. “It’s the middle of the night; you woke me out of a dead sleep. You’re leaving me with a baby.” I swallowed. “My baby.” When I looked at Rebecca, the tears were wetting her lips. “I don’t know what to do. What to think. How to care for her. I have questions. I have …”
I wanted to take Rebecca by the arm and bring her into my house and tuck her into the bed in my guest room, giving her the sleep she needed. I would call a therapist in the morning, so we could figure out exactly what was going on here.
But those were just ideas, and all I had in this moment were words. Words that needed to be persuasive enough that I could convince her we could somehow do this—together. So far, it seemed like nothing I’d said was registering. She wasn’t hearing me; she certainly wasn’t listening.
She was just looking at the baby, crying.
“Rebecca, I’m sure it’s been almost impossible to get any sleep. You’re tired, your body is recovering from—”
“Don’t tell me how I’m feeling.” She pulled the sides of her jacket together, the material too small on her to close. “I know exactly what I’ve gone through and what I want, and my mind is made up.”
Our stare broke as she looked at her daughter, using the back of her hand to wipe the newest tears. “I failed you … I’m sorry.” Her voice wasn’t any louder than a whisper. “Your father will be everything you ever need.”
“What? Wait! Rebecca,” I called for her as she turned around and walked toward the gate. “You’re her mother. You can’t just hand her to me and tell me you don’t want her, and she’s suddenly my responsibility.”
Her stare intensified. “You’re her dad. Yes, I can.”
I held the baby toward her mother, trying to close the space between us, but at the same time, she was moving in the opposite direction. “Rebecca, we need to talk about this, rationally. We need—”
“Everything you need is in that bag. Birth certificate; a form from the attorney, giving you all parental rights; formula, bottles, and diapers. Notes for what you need for her and when to feed her.” She turned her back to me, taking several more steps, but looked over her shoulder to add, “Take care of her, Ford.”
She hurried out of the gate, and she was gone.
Fuck.
Me.
As though the little one had heard my thoughts, she started to stir. I instantly froze, having no idea what the fuck to do.
Shit.
Is she going to cry?
Is she hungry?
Does she need to be changed?
“Waaah!” the baby wailed.
I didn’t know how to make her stop or figure out the reason she was crying—I’d never been around a baby before—but she was getting louder.
Much, much louder.
“Rebecca!” I yelled, trying to look through the hedges for a flash of headlights. “Rebecca, come back!”
While I waited for her to return, I rocked my arms, hoping the movement would help, establishing a pattern of swinging forward and back.
She didn’t calm.
She only cried harder, each sway filling my ears with more, “Waaah!”
My eyes shifted between the entrance of the driveway to the baby. But the longer I stood here, expecting Rebecca to round the corner at any second, the more I realized she wasn’t coming back.
“What am I going to do?”
I gazed at the baby as she screamed in my arms. Her lips, so miniscule, were curled, showing her bare gums, her cheeks scrunched and red from all the crying.
“I don’t know what to do,” I told her. “I don’t know how to make you feel better. Until I can figure out what time it is and wake your grandma up and have her come over here, I need to somehow care for you.” I continued to look at her, hoping the answer would come to me. “Are you cold?” I closed the blanket, bunching it up to her neck. “Hungry?”I waited for the answer to hit me.For the realization of what I was actually holding and what my eyes were staring at.For a picture to form in my head of what my life was now going to look like versus the direction I'd believed it was going in.I didn’t know how long I stood there.Frozen.My feet should have been taking us inside, where it was warm, where I could go through the bag and see if there was something in there that could soothe her, see if Rebecca’s notes told me how to stop the baby’s crying.But they weren’t moving.For some reason … I was locked.My knees didn’t want to hold us anymore, and they started to bend until they hit
She grinned, her eyes widening, licking her bottom lip. “I want him to take me to the house on the giant mountain, so we can eat all the s’mores outside by the big fire.”“You want to go to his house in Utah, huh?”Jenner had recently purchased a home in Park City, and it had become one of Everly’s most desired places to visit. Mine too. There was nothing like escaping to the mountains, getting to ski on some fresh powder, and unplugging from our busy life in LA.“Yes, silly.”“I see someone has a new favorite word.” I hugged her against my chest. “I’m afraid of the teenage version of you. It’s a good thing I have quite a few years before we get there. I need to prep myself.”“Daddy, I’m going to be so sassy.”“That’s what I’m afraid of.”We were quiet for a few moments, something unusual for my spunky daughter, and I broke the silence to say, “My little negotiator, I know there’s still a few hours left before you have to go to bed, but in the meantime, let’s not convince Hannah to le
“One day, when you’ve graduated and working with us full-time with a portfolio of clients who’ll be earning you millions, your opinion of him will change.”She glared at me as we reached the bottom of the steps. “I promise, that’s never going to happen.”“Don’t be so sure—” My voice cut off as the smell from the kitchen wafted up my nose, my stomach growling. “You baked? Already?”“I needed to unwind from that monster”—she held up her finger—“the one we don’t name—so I stuck some cookies in the oven. They’re probably done by now.”I followed her into the kitchen, where she took a tray out of the oven. At least a dozen chocolate chip cookies were sitting on top.“Yep. Done.” She looked at me. “Want one?”“One? I want three.”She grabbed a spatula from the drawer and placed the dessert on a napkin. “So you can take them with you,” she said, handing me the bundle.I groaned as the chocolate melted on my tongue. “Man, you make some mean cookies.”“If you find crumbs in her bed tomorrow, d
“Thought you weren’t going to show,” he said as he patted me on the back.“Jenner bitched about the same thing,” I said. “You guys know I wouldn’t ever bail. But once you knock up Kendall, you’ll learn that it isn’t always easy to get out the door on time.”He pulled away and walked with me toward the tables they’d reserved. “Slow your roll. There’s no knocking up. We’re just getting in a shit-ton of practice.”“Then, maybe it’s Jenner’s turn,” I said, moving over to my middle brother, hugging him the same way.“What are we talking about?” Jenner asked.“You and Jo having kids,” I replied.“Please don’t put that into the universe,” he shot back. “We’re staying in the engaged phase for a while. If Jo gets the baby bug, we’ll steal Everly for a few days.”“According to Eve, she’s no longer a baby.”“That’s my girl, full of sass,” Dominick said.I shook hands with Brett, one of our best friends, who happened to be the top entertainment agent in the country. I then moved on to his partner
Her hair fell into her face, and she instantly pushed it back, exposing both shoulders. Shoulders and a collarbone that showed the tan line of a thin bikini strap.Damn it, that was sexy.“One drink should hopefully get me over this jet lag,” she said.“Let me guess …” My words were only an excuse for me to stare harder, acting as though I could see through her. “Europe?”Her smile was sensual, beautiful. “London … how did you know?”“Call me intuitive.”“Ohhh, then you already know I only just got back this afternoon.”“Of course I do. But keep talking.”She laughed. “I was there this time for three months, so to be honest, I’m not sure if it’s today or tomorrow or if my feet are on the ground or still in the air.” She sucked in a mouthful of air. “But your eyes are telling me I’m very much here …”“You’re here.” I ran my thumb over my lips, wishing they were covered in her scent. “And this isn’t a dream … even if it feels like one.”First, she gave me a smile, then a slow bite of he
I laughed. My best friend was so over the top sometimes. “Ford is extra swoony—I can’t deny that. But I assure you, the only thing growing inside me is a heavy case of jet lag and a wicked need to take off these heels and find myself a pillow.”“His pillow.” She put her arm around my shoulders and turned me toward him, saying in my ear, “Even his name is sexy.”My eyes briefly closed. “I know.”“Do you know what I see when I look at him?”“I can’t wait to hear this.”She squeezed my shoulder. “Handcuffs. Dirty sex. Waking up in the morning with his face between your legs.” She lowered her voice, finally whispering, “That man has dominance written all over him.”I wondered if she could sense how sweaty I was getting.How it only added to the hotness Ford had already built.“You can tell that just by looking at him?”“I possess that talent. You should know this by now.”I’d only seen my best friend a handful of times over the last four years. All of our conversations had taken place ove
The combination of the martini and shots was slowly dropping my inhibitions, especially as I glanced toward Gabby, who had moved to the other side of the table, closer to Natasha and Carrie, her facial expression urging me on.“I don’t know.” I glanced down; all of this was too much. “I guess I like the way you sound.”“My voice?”I nodded as I was fixed on him again. “Yes.”“No one’s ever commented on that before.”I took a drink even though I didn’t need it. “It matches you—I mean, it fits your face, your …” I couldn’t think of what I wanted to say. Nothing was coming to me. I didn’t even feel like I was breathing. “Exterior.”The corner of his lips lifted, a half-smile so devilishly attractive. “Exterior, huh?”“If power had a sound, it’s you.”He was sitting between both tables but chose to lean his elbow on the one closest to me. “My voice isn’t where I hold my power, Sydney. At least, not in my personal life. But I’ll tell you, it wasn’t a bad guess.”My brain was spiraling.My
“What I’m thinking about is your mouth.” He ran his thumb over my bottom lip and then the top. “What it would taste like. What it would feel like.” His gaze was there, on the spot he was speaking about, making those same lips part. “And I don’t know how much longer I can wait to find out.”ThreeFord“You want to kiss me”—her voice was soft, breathless—“in the middle of the bar?”With my hand still on her cheek, I aimed her mouth up to mine. “It’s not just that I want to.” I lowered my face until we were only inches apart. “It’s that I have to.” The feeling inside me was so brutally overwhelming that I couldn’t leave this bar until I had her taste on my tongue. Until I was satisfied with the feel of her lips. That was why I’d moved my seat next to hers. To have this moment between us, to re-create the fire that I’d felt before. “If you don’t want this, Sydney, tell me to stop.”I waited.And just as I was about to close the space between us, she whispered, “Ford …” She swallowed. “I