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THE ROYALTY OF WOLFES 81
I'm crazy, I decide as I look at the bedroom ceiling.A wolf came earlier and lit half a dozen braziers to keep Arina and I warm, however I know that the heat I feel inside me is not due to that.My sister is sleeping.I can hear her deep, calm breathing right next to me on the big fur-covered bed.I can not sleep.I have a feeling in my chest that feels like a big itch that doesn't want to go away.I change positions several times carefully so as not to disturb my sister's sleep, but I know I won't sleep.I do not want to sleep...I push any rational thoughts to the back of my mind and get out of bed.When several "whys" and "ifs" start to arise I push them away too.It's like I'm in heat again, because I just can't stay still where I am. Not with Miguel right next door. Not with this stupid and intense need messing up my chest.I open the door and look down the hallway.I think it's late.The lights were turned off.I stand still for a moment, feeling the movement of the sea on my f
THE ROYALTY OF WOLFES 82
My sacred parts tremble.I'm completely sore and tender as I roll over onto my stomach and look at Mig.He sleeps next to me with a peace I don't know. The usually tense lines of his face are relaxed. He has never looked so young as he does in this moment, when the sunlight streams in through the open window—just a warm, pearly glow—vaguely brighter than the moon.It's been half an hour since he left my body and he looked at me one last time before taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.I am exhausted.I would like to hug him and get some sleep too, but I know I shouldn't.Arina is alone. I want to be by her side when she wakes up. So I get up and put on my tunic, which is lying in a corner.When I stand up again I feel Miguel's seed running down my legs for all the times he had his climax inside me.I clean myself with the fur blanket and get dressed.I go as quietly as I can to the door and give him a look before leaving.He hadn't moved since lying in that position. His parted
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Arina returns with our evening meal.My sleep is light and I wake up at the same moment she pushes the door.I don't know where she was for so many hours, but I don't worry about her here. Not with Prince Azerai always so close. I know he has feelings for Arina. His golden eyes follow her everywhere, even if he stays away, always keeping some distance between them.I begin to understand these wolves.I've been living among them for a few months now.I know that when a male is interested in a female he becomes an involuntary type of protector for her. It was one of the things Reeina told me. Even if the Prince doesn't agree with how he feels, even if he never goes through with it, he won't be able to stay away from Arina. He won't be able to be indifferent to her. He will protect her. Maybe above your own life.Azerai may feel that you are being too discreet with your interest in my Sister. He may even ignore that he is attracted to her. But I see. I'm not stupid.However, I don't comp
THE ROYALTY OF WOLFES 84
Arina is in our old room.I mentally prepare myself before entering, afraid of finding the bodies of my Sisters on the floor, but there is nothing there but the messy beds and trunks with our shared belongings.The dust from the ground rises to my feet as I step forward.Azerai is in the hallway with his arms crossed over his chest, in a patient waiting attitude. He doesn't look at me. His eyes are on the floor, on the wall, anywhere.I see Arina standing near the bed we shared.She touches the tangled sheet and looks around as if looking for something.— They were here — he murmurs when I approach. — Our Sisters. They died here. Where are? What happened to their sacred bodies?- I don't know…— What if any of them survived? Like us — Arina quickly looks at me. —There's a chance, isn't there? Oh no…I also went through this moment of denial. I thought my Sister had already gotten over our tragedy.I offer you the only thing I think will comfort you.— We can look. It's a small island.
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I don't know what time it is, but I had to get more candles because the ones I brought were already running low.I'm not hungry, thirsty or tired.All I feel is fear for the conclusions I'm coming to.All the diaries that Miguel and I read do not clearly mention the forbidden pregnancies of the Servants of the Goddess who went to the continent, but they do mention sex with men from Agreis. Tribal leaders, mainly. Lots of sex.Imagine that; young, beautiful and healthy women, raised in a strict discipline of prayers, rituals and purity, released on an unknown continent, serving powerful men who feel attracted to them without the constant vigil of a strict Mother.The temptation is right there, and from what I've been reading in the last few hours, all the Handmaids took a good sip from that cup.I wouldn't be so paranoid if I didn't come across so many pages ripped out.Someone thought it was okay to keep the sex-forbidden parts, but something else was too horrible to keep and was ripp
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Arina is just a little surprised by my hypotheses. She didn't imagine this, but she seems to understand that it is plausible.— Yes, I think I read something about that somewhere. About the Servants who were on the mainland returning to the Island. But if they were pregnant, what happened to these children? — my sister questions out loud. — Servants of the Goddess only give birth to other Servants. Women. That's it? Her Daughters stayed here on the Island and were raised as Servants?I shake my shoulders.I'm still disturbed by the conversation I had with Mig, but I try to stick to what Arina and I said.— The Mothers had their own archive on their floor, didn't they? Is there any chance the answers are there? I ask.— There's a file up there, it's true. I saw him. It's in a small room at the back. But everything was under lock and key. How will we get in?— Let's look for the key. It must be here somewhere and-… — What are you doing there?The hoarse voice so close startles us.My si
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There were no children on the island…It's been a long time since a Mother gave birth to a Daughter...I don't remember who said Hani was younger than me, but it was said at some point. Why would the order we were born into be important enough to change? And how would it be possible to know that I was the last Daughter of the Goddess to be born on the Island?A forecast?Were we doomed to disappear?Why would the Goddess do this to us, her favorites?I sit on the floor for a second.Now I have even more doubts.I reach for the book with my name on it and take another look.My first steps were recorded. My first words too. Nothing too extraordinary. There is an attention to detail in my growth that is noticeable. And then I come across the following sentence:"No power was realized until that age. She failed every test. We believe the Goddess is among us." I don't understand what you mean.I reread it, over and over again."The Goddess is among us."Is my lack of gift a sign from the G
THE ROYALTY OF WOLFES 88
I can see sunlight streaming in through one of the hallway windows as I stretch, tired yet full of energy.I discovered several things in the last few hours. One of them; Arina is the daughter of Mother Heste. This surprises me very, very much, but I don't think it's relevant to my Sister. Nowhere was the one who brought me into the world mentioned. Either this, in fact, was never written, or someone tried very hard to hide it.Another thing; The arrival of Miguel and the wolves on our island was predicted many, many years ago before Ceisa made that prediction. A Sister called Iyo predicted the arrival of wolves on our beaches even before the Break with men.There are a hundred predictions that have not yet come true, but that have been cataloged and stored here. I can't handle half of it. And I'm also more interested in those involving the past.I'm almost giving up when I think I finally find what I'm looking for.It is the prediction of a Sister called Zaine.She talks about the "l
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THE ROYALTY OF WOLFES 97
My chest hurts.My entire body hurts.I cannot conceive the idea that Miguel will, of his own free will, die for his people, instead of staying with me.He prefers death. The honor. The duty.I prefer love, and that's why a part of me will die when it's gone.— We have gold — Arina says suddenly with her lips pressed to my forehead. — Let's help them. Let's help the Wolf King and Prince Azerai take back the throne.— Arina, don’t talk nonsense…—Their army is within the walls of Tarus'dei, is it not? — she continues, inflamed by a determination I don't know. — Let's help them get there. There must be a chance. At least a chance to win. It is not?— Arina, all the wolves are against them...— And the people of the continent?We stared at each other in silence for a long moment, mentally debating the possibilities.Is it possible that there is any hope?— This is insane! — Azerai doesn't even bother to hide his offensive tone of voice, and is looking at me. — The people of Agreis would
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— Is there a need for a reason to cause harm to another, Kim?I bite my lips.Miguel looks away. To the sea.His expression is a mystery to me, but I imagine how he must be feeling; betrayed, furious, unhappy. He barely had time to be king to his people before they unfairly took that away from him.I would like to hug him, but I just stand there next to him, my hands nervous, not knowing what to do.— The Great Houses consider the people of the continent inferior. The causes of our exile. I heard that a million times growing up — Miguel says. — Many wolves think they must die to pay for the sins of their ancestors. It was a grudge nurtured by our kings over the centuries.— Did your father believe that too?There is a long hesitation before responding.- He believed. For a long time. But he got here and didn't find the monsters he imagined. They were just… people. Like us. He wrote this in letters to me over the years. He wanted me to forget my grudge and be a king different from the
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An hour passes and nothing happens.Then two and three.Arina looks out the window of our cabin all the time, trying to see something, anything, but there is nothing, just the angry sea, full of threatening ice shards the size of ships.Is our idea really good?Dock, go down to the mainland and from there try to reach Pontis Maari?The wolves would be idiots if they didn't have soldiers on land too, waiting for us. Arina and I are small women. Of course, we have white hair and that attracts attention, but a good thick fabric cap would solve the problem. But Miguel and Azerai? They are big wolves. Much larger than common iberiis. This is not easy to disguise. A wolf with one red eye and one with gold eyes? Yes, they would go unnoticed very easily…I know that the Great Houses were trying to reach the throne of the Tarus before. I know it. But I can't help but suffer knowing that I was the trigger. Without me they would have nothing against Mig.Oh, Mother. Protect us.I don't know if p
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I tilt my face and kiss her wrist reverently.My Wolf King...— No — he pulls my face back, realizing what I'm doing. - No…We kiss as Miguel possesses my body for the last time.Our lips tremble.I can not stop crying.He cums in silence. Without blinking. His blood red eye stuck in mine. His hips push me against the wooden floor and I feel him filling me inside. The hot, thick jets, the smell of spices and the sea, running down my legs, wetting the tunic beneath me.I'm the first to look away, push away the hand that holds my face.Miguel walks away.I sit down and try to tidy up the destroyed clothes.He stays behind me.I see the movements in my peripheral vision and I guess that he is fastening his pants, his belt.He finished.His seed covers my legs. My body shudders with pleasure as I see the remains of what we did still on me. My pussy pulses like it wants some more. As if I want him back, even though I'm sore from the ferocity with which he took me.— This will be the last t
THE ROYALTY OF WOLFES 93
When we board the ship it is almost lunch time. I don't know exactly how many boxes were shipped with books, but seventeen of them are full of gold that was taken from our Mothers' secret room. Everything that wasn't secured in some way was boxed up. The rest will be picked up later.We were lucky that the ship was returning empty to Agreis after its business trip to the Salt Walls. Now its holds are cluttered with books and gold. Arina and I remain silent.I don't know what she thinks, but I believe there shouldn't be silence and reflection between us. We have gold to be free. We don't even need to go back to Tarus'dei. No one can force us to go. We can ask the ship to dock anywhere on the coast and go live our lives. People on the mainland don't know us. We can use the gold to hire a guard, buy a house. Never see wolves again in my life.But I don't say anything. Neither does she.We eat meals together, then I go down to the ship's hold and read as many books as I can.Sailors don't
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We dressed in silence. Each with their own thoughts. And by looking at Miguel's distraught face I can get the idea that his thoughts are even more chaotic than mine.Was your mother a Servant of the Goddess?How is this possible?That's not possible.It is not.He is mistaken...You have to be mistaken.We returned together to the tower through the front door. We go side by side, but still in silence.I need to talk to Arina.Sleep plans were cancelled. There is no possibility of sleeping a wink with this new information before us.Azerai is near the kitchen door, talking to the Iberii. He looks at us and his gold eyes narrow in irritation, but he doesn't say anything. Miguel makes a gesture with his face and he moves away from the guards.I don't look back.I push open the kitchen door and call for Arina.She's at the sink, washing the pots and dishes from dinner, and when she looks up and sees me, her relaxed expression cools.- And now? — he asks softly.Before I can speak the door
THE ROYALTY OF WOLFES 91
There is a silent climb to the upper floors. Each one entangled in their own thoughts. I don't know what's going on in each of their heads, but in mine there is absolute disbelief.Am I the reincarnation of our Mother Goddess? Mirsai?If that were true, I'm supposed to be special in some way, right? I don't feel special. I don't feel any different knowing these things. I'm just myself still. Same Kim as always. Maybe a little more tired and beaten down by the events of the last few days, but definitely myself.I still don't know exactly what my place is in this world. I don't know what I'll do tomorrow. Or today.Arina and I go to the kitchen and get busy preparing the last meal of the day. Miguel and Azerai leave together, talking quietly to each other. The Iberiis are nowhere to be seen, and I try, if only for the last minute, not to think about anything we've just discovered.**We ate bread, fried vegetables, and meat from the deer that Miguel hunted and Azerai cooked over a fire
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— Are you saying that our Mother Goddess is… somehow… a goddess of your culture? — my Sister frowns at the Prince, almost offended.I understand your irritation. We had very strict discipline over our Mother Goddess and what this wolf says actually seems like a type of blasphemy, but I place a hand on my Sister's arm and ask her for patience with a look.Let's let these wolves talk.— I think it's worth going deeper into this — Azerai continues. — Maybe it will enlighten us about the prophecy and everything else.I nod.Arina maintains her irritated expression.— Do you have any paintings or drawings of your Goddess? — Miguel asks more politely. — If she looks like any of our cannis goddesses, I'll recognize her.Lightning passes through me.A hundred memories hitting me hard.Oh no…— You said I look like your goddess of lust — I murmur hoarsely, unaware of my next voice.Miguel looks at me for the first time in the last few hours, and his red eye opens wider with surprise, understan
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— This one — I show Arina the forecast as soon as we sit together on the floor.Miguel and Azerai approach, but only the Wolf King seems interested in what we say. The Prince stands closer to the door, like a guard.My Sister tilts her delicate face to read, but it doesn't take long.- What does that mean? "Party power"?I shrug.— And this "wolf in the sky" thing?I shake my face.- I don't know-...- What did you say? — Miguel extends his hand so I can pass him the tome with the prediction.I casually look for his gaze, but he denies it. He's focused on the book, his brow furrowed in question.— I think it's related to the other prophecy — I say to Arina. — Our Sisters predicted the arrival of wolves on our beaches long before it happened. Ceisa wasn't the only one to see them coming.A brief expression of disgust crosses Arina's face, but she shakes it off with a deep breath. She opens her mouth, but Miguel talks over her.— This is a prediction from my people.We all looked at him
