2. SINS PAID IN BLOOD

ADIRA

“Princess.”

I sighed at Roselyn’s plea. The water had turned cold. I would bear through sitting in cold water than what was to come after my bath.

My eyes ran to the guard that stood by the main door of the room, staring dead at me. As much as I went through this every single day I could not get used to it. A shiver took over my body and I clenched my teeth. The room had an open concept. Everything was open to view and everything was bolted or cemented down.

Roselyn came with the towel held wide open for me. She tried to stand with her body to cover my rise but what was the point? Nearly every warrior in the pack had already seen my body. I swallowed the lump stuck in my throat from that thought.

I pushed up, Roselyn quickly hiding my body away and I swear the guard hissed. Roselyn quickly wrapped the towel around me and it was the most decent thing I had worn in months. My stomach turned at the thought and I thought I would vomit.

The water was drained away as I waited for Roselyn to be done. As she cleaned the tub I oiled my skin as best as I could and put on deodorant. The towel was so warm. I clutched onto it, wishing I would not have to take it off. I followed Roselyn with my eyes as she picked up what I would wear. It was a two-piece red lingerie. My heart dropped to the darkest part of my belly.

“Roselyn.” It was more of a cry, my eyes swimming in warm tears before they disappeared back in.

Roselyn was as pale as me. The thing hid nothing at all. I wanted to scream and cry out loud, shrinking more into myself.

We went through this every single day. Instead of it getting better, it was getting worse to bear.

“Please.” I did not even know who I was begging at that point. Roselyn’s tears fell, pulling me from my own grief. I swallowed my emotions and just stared at the strings that could not even be called underwear.

I took a step forward, my hand shaking as I took it in hand. I pulled the underwear up until it sat where it was supposed to. Next was the bra. My hands shook so hard I thought they would fall off. The towel had to be dropped at that point. There was no going around it.

It flew down and kissed the floor. The cold air attacked as I shivered. I did not dare stare at the guard but I could feel his disgusting eyes devour every part of my body. I pulled the bra up as quickly as I could but what was the point because my nipples were the only thing barely hidden? My breast poked through the satin strips, threatening to spill out.

Roselyn held out a flimsy satin long gown that I pulled over, tying it at my center but it did not close.

The silence was heavy, sitting on both of our chests.

I was led to the table right by the small window. My lunch sat, the first meal I had for the day. Starving myself would never change my situation so I ate. The food was tasteless as everything else in my life. Everything was grey—no color before my eyes. I swallowed as much as I could before I pushed the plate forward and passed my thanks.

“Princess.” Roselyn bowed.

“Thank you, Roselyn. I will see you tomorrow.”

She sadly smiled and as always, the words she wanted to utter lay heavy on her tongue before she bowed again and walked to the door.

I watched as the guard opened the door and they followed each other out. The door was closed after them, the key turning as the guard locked me in. I took a deep breath, turning around to stare at the only view of the world I had.

I picked up my worn-out book, sitting on the window seal. I pulled my leg up, the large gold chain clanking against the wall. It hung heavy as I rested my leg on the soft cushion. My eyes went to stare at the kids playing on the green grass. I found myself trapped in their game, my eyes not able to tear away.

The other option was reading the words I had for the past sixteen years. The book was worn out as my soul yet still I clutched onto it. I finally forced myself to open the cover and run my eyes through the words. None stuck as much as I tried but I pushed on because I would never forgive myself if I forgot even a single word in it.

A scream suddenly tore through the air. It was such a painful scream. My eyes flew to my small dusty window, eyes literally stuck on it as they moved from each inch it allowed me to see yet nothing was amiss. The children still played, paying no mind to anything else. I stared for as long as I could, desperate for change, for anything to happen.

My breath was finally let out and I sank back in my seat before another scream tore through the air.

A woman came out running from the forest, blood covering her. Her body crumbled right before the children and chaos erupted all around.

My heart was beating from the very edge of my throat. Everyone was running back and forth, not knowing where to go. My hands lay flat on the window, literally breathing on it. A few warriors ran into the forest then more.

None cared for the children, all for themselves as they ran for safety.

What was happening?

Mothers grabbed their children and ran.

My eyes went wider and instinct kicked. I jumped down from the seat to pause.

There was no running for me, I was already hidden. My heart sank but I crawled back up as the screams got louder. From my line of sight, no one was in view yet still I heard the horror. My gut twisted and turned, fear nearly engulfing me. My breath came in rapid pants from the overtime my heart was working. My adrenaline pumped, begging us to run.

A few men ran out of the forest, blood all over their bodies.

My eyes would fall out from how wide they were.

A large black wolf jumped out and tore one of the warriors from behind. I shook as if to splatter, watching the impalement. It felt as if the claws were running through my own back.

I wanted to scream but I couldn’t.

My body ran cold as I froze. More foreign wolves came out and suddenly, a lot of our people were being thrown and torn apart right before my eyes. It was horrifying yet I could not tear my eyes away. I did not realize I had been silently crying until my hands fell on my face, finding it wet.

My door suddenly shook with such force. I jumped with a scream pulling from my lips as I turned to stare at it in horror. It seemed my eyes themselves were suddenly pumping as my heart.

“Princess!”

I should have been relieved but the horror poured even more.

“Princess!”

A silent sob broke through me. My hands stopped the sound from escaping as my shoulders shook back and forth.

“Princess!” Tyme screamed out so loud, pounding with such desperation.

“Princess we need to run!”

I ran to the door but my chain jerked me back as I was about to reach it. It brought me down to my reality. I stared back at it, the sting of it digging into my ankle.

There was no saving me.

“No Tyme. You need to leave!” I tried to stay as firm as I could.

“Princess no, please!”  She wept so hard it brought more tears down my eyes.

“Tyme. Go! Save yourself, please. Take everyone else and leave!”

I wanted to rush to the door and scream through as if that would make her move faster.

“Princess no, I can’t leave you please.”

“Tyme. Go!” I screamed with much determination. I hoped Roselyn was already out. I could not take losing them. This day was bound to happen. The day where we would pay for our sins.

“Tyme. This is a command. Go!” I enforced, something that should have been easy for me to do but I was stripped of my power.

“Please.” I added, hearing her break down before she heaved over and over again.

“May you find your way to the moon goddess Princess. May she bathe you in her white light and heal you princess. I love you my princess. May the goddess be with you.” She forced the words out as fresh tears fell from my eyes.

“May the goddess be with you too Tyme.” I whispered out but I knew she heard me.

Her cries got loud before I heard her run away.

My arms fell around my body, hugging myself. I tried to hold it together but I was miserably failing. Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe I would finally pay for my sins with my own blood. I deserved this. I deserved all that was coming.