ZADEShe has been actively avoiding me.I am not mad that she left me in an almost burning car; that made me get even more turned on because she has the guts to do it and leave me for dead. The more she is cold and ruthless, the more I am getting addicted to her.The more I want.But then she wasn’t around. Not in school, not in class, not in her dorm; I couldn’t find her anywhere. She had blocked me out, too, from even feeling her.For three days, I have been anxious, looking everywhere for her, doing everything to get her location and when I find out she has been in this hotel, one of my father’s … I relax a little.I found out two hours ago, and nothing was keeping me away from her anymore. I have to clamp my tongue down to avoid asking her if she is okay and if she can let me in.Yes, I am standing right outside her door, and I can hear her getting back to sleep again before I send another text threatening to kick her door open if she doesn’t get out.I ache to see her, I want to
ARII can feel eyes on me. Undressing me, caressing my skin painfully so that I shiver and get goosebumps, feeling the phantom touch.He is suffocating me.I wanted to forget, stop thinking, and be distracted until I can't see anything when I close my eyes. He is a perfect distraction tonight.I know it’s a mistake, that I shouldn’t walk into such situations, but I am too far gone to care. I know that it won't mean anything for me other than as a distraction. He is the only person who is eliciting any form of reaction.A feeling I haven’t felt in a long, long time. It feels so good, I want to sink into it and this time, chase and fall into that sweet dark feeling, get high off it and forget whatever demons I am running away from.He is the only boy who makes me feel this way, maybe because he is my mate or whatever, but that doesn’t matter. I want to see if I can feel that way with someone else.I turn and grab the man who has been dancing closely to me and pull him down for a kiss. I
ARII shouldn’t.My body hits the back of the door, as his lips connect to mine again, his entire body pressing on me. Hands roving over clothes, trying to get a feel, skin … get enough but it's not. It's not enough.More.The kiss slows down, no, he slows down when his hands settle on my hips. His lips part from mine slowly, and the wet sound echoes around the hotel room as he looks at me with hooded eyes.He is about to talk. I am not here to talk, I don’t want him to talk to me, not now, not about this. I don’t want either one of us saying something that might break the spell, the bubble that we are in right now.So before he can utter another word, I lean forward and bite his lower lip, making him growl, before his fingers tighten around my waist, before they slowly slide down to my butt, squeezing me right as he kisses me open mouthed, his tongue dipping in my waiting mouth.A moan leaves my lips, shivering before I wrap my arms around him, pulling him closer by his torso. I let
ARII can't deny that in this moment, all I feel, all my world is filled with … is Zade Parker.A whimper leaves my lips as I feel his hand caressing me, his fingers trailing from my thighs, to my hip, going all the way up until he cups my heavy breast, his fingers flicking my nipple before squeezing it, rolling it.His mouth is on my other one, tongue licking and rolling it before he takes it between his teeth, grazing and biting.It's not gentle, pain and pleasure tethering on the edge. It's too much but not enough. He doesn’t take his eyes off me, not even as he pulls the nipple out of his mouth with a pop, watching me watch him.I can't ignore the heavy thing that’s between his legs rubbing on my inner thigh as he moves, leaving a wet trail. He is hung, long, fat, I can see the veins, the weeping head …I swallow, eyes flicking to his face again, only to find that he has been watching me all this time. I want him. It's my first time, but he doesn’t need to know that. All he has to
ARII wake up with a start, feeling heavy but soon realize it's because of the arms and legs all wrapped around me, as if binding me in place.My throat is so dry, and I feel like I have run the whole night, but in a way, instead of being tired, my well has been refilled with clean, sparkling, cool water.Then it all starts coming back.Zade is sleeping next to me, his face pressed on my neck. I start to slowly get out of his hold, and he doesn’t wake up, not when I fall out of the bed and scramble to cover my naked body with a sheet. Tiptoeing to the bathroom and looking back to check if he has woken up, I close the bathroom door and exhale, leaning against it, as I close my eyes.“What the fuck did I do?”I remember getting up and going to meet Zade downstairs. I don’t remember much after that, but I do remember in vivid detail what happened once I stepped back in the room later in the night.I wasn’t alone. Hands, kisses, touches, dark whispers, the pleasure …. Yes. I remember eve
ZADEThe door slams on my face, and I am wide-eyed, looking at it, trying to figure out what is happening.I am only in my boxers, every other piece of clothing on my hands, and I drop them, sighing, before I sit on the floor, my back pressed against the door. I rub my face, shaking my head as I try to get a sense of everything.One minute I am sleeping so peacefully, the best sleep I have had in forever, and the next I am being pushed out of the door, and here I am.She doesn’t want to see me? I thought things changed after yesterday. It was heavenly. I can remember every single second vividly. Everything in me wants to barge in there and try to ask why she has chased me away.But then, just as I am about to do so, I feel it. The bond between us. It's open, clearer, and I feel so close to her. I can even talk to her now if I want to.“Why did you just throw me out?”There is no response, but I can feel her. She is ignoring me on purpose.A door opens down the hall, and a couple gets
ARI“I thought you were going to ignore me until you needed something.”I don’t bother hiding my sigh as I sit down. “Hello, mother.”“Why have you been avoiding me?” She isn't trying to be all nice and sweet today. No, today she is frowning, and I wonder if she knows that she is.“I didn’t feel like talking to you.”“Since when have you not wanted to speak to me?” she chuckles, sitting back. “You are my clingy child, of course, you want to see me and talk to me every time.”My jaw clenches. “Since you started keeping secrets from them, which impacted me.”“Whatever are you talking about?” she takes a sip of tea in the porcelain cup.“You know what I am talking about. I am sure by now, Mr. Parkers has told you what we are doing, what I am doing.”“Yes, and I was hoping that it was all a lie, that perhaps you had forgotten yourself and you are here to apologize and get back to school,” she puts the cup down, not looking at me.“Why would I apologize?” My heart is hammering in my chest.
ARIThe rail is cold in my hand as I ascend the dark stairs.It's raining again, the rain pelting on the window panes, the curtains fluttering as the cold flutters in. There is no one here, save for the one I am headed towards. It’s a quiet house, it should creep me or even make me turn around.This isn't something I should do, not when I am not okay mentally. But it is because I am not okay that I am turning the door knob and pushing the door open, eyes finding the figure that’s laying in the bed, the whole room dark, open windows once again letting in the cold wind.Not that he can feel it.He is looking at me, I can sense that he wants to ask something, so I push out the feeling that I don't want to talk about it. He said that he will make me forget. Does that still stand even tonight?I thought I had outgrown my naivety. Perhaps I had grown up and started knowing a little better. But it seems that I never learn.But I am so tired, so very tired and worn out. I have cried, and ther
ARII don’t think I have ever truly let myself think deeply about Zade, who is becoming, and his birthright. I am not one to attach my identity to the boy I am seeing or crushing on, and in this case, the boy I am mated to.But it's still heavy. I find it … sexy that he is already so mature, powerful too, and it's only going to get even better.Yes, I think I am crushing on Zade, and I can't control choking on my water once that fully hits me.“Are you okay?” he asks me as he rushes to my side, rubbing my back.“Yeah,” I wheeze out. “Guess I am a little surprised.”“Why?” he chuckles as he gets back to cooking.“The first thing someone sees when they see you is how spoiled you are.” That’s not true.The first thing I saw and felt when I first laid my eyes on him was just how magnetic and powerful he was. Yes, you could tell from miles away that he is wealthy, but it wasn’t the kind I got from the rest of the students.No, his was the quiet, generational wealth that just didn’t come fr
ARIIt’s weird.I woke up feeling this gut-wrenching painful reminder that I was still alive, that I am still feeling, and my mind is still as loud as before.I wasn’t ready to face myself, the world, or even reality, so I went back to sleep despite not knowing where I was. I could hear someone, a female, who would come and look after me once in a while. I should have been worried that a stranger was hovering over me.But I didn’t care. That’s how gone I was. I did manage to sleep more until I woke up again, and the tension in my temples was lessening.Someone was touching me like I was so fragile, and I could feel how gentle they were being. I knew it was Zade even before I could open my eyes.It felt better, the chatter, the exhaustion… it all lessened when he was around like this. It’s something I have come to notice, not ready to admit it yet, but it’s there.I could hear his thoughts. They were so unguarded, I wondered if he knew I could hear them, and it’s the first time I've be
ZADEShe is so beautiful.I exhale softly as I sit on the bed, watching her sleep. I can't resist reaching out with gentle fingers as I push back her hair off her face.Her hands are tucked under her chin, pressed to her chest, her body curled in as if she is feeling cold or protecting herself from something.But she isn't feeling cold; her body temperature is higher, too, which prompts me to stand up and walk over to the screen door. I slide it open, and the soft light curtains let the air in, billowing soundlessly.I had this bedroom built with a terrace garden, so it feels like someone is sleeping in a garden. I know she will love it when she wakes up.I sit on the floor, watching her as she exhales softly once cool air hits her skin.She had a massive panic attack, and I wasn’t there to help her. The first one she ever had was when she saw me kill that crush of hers –something I don’t regret, but I do regret triggering it- and she broke down in the bathroom.I knew she didn’t want
ZADEMercy.That word alone makes me hit her at the back of the neck as gently as I can, rendering her unconscious. I hold her limp body, my eyes on her now sleeping face, as I breathe hard.I am scared.I almost lost her a few minutes ago, and then watched her as she almost slipped out of her mind. I stand up as I carry her bridal style to my car, where I am parked. I don’t mind the eyes on me, murmuring bout the girl who almost got run over by walking to the busy highway.I secure Ari on the seat before I get in myself and drive away.I knew something was off, from the moment I saw her mother walking out of the hotel, minutes after I had dropped ari and then the coldness that overcame me like I had been pushed in an extremely icy frozen lake.I don’t think twice, taking her to my private home, somewhere no one knows, not even my father. She is still out cold, and I start to worry that I might have hurt her. Lying her gently on the bed, I clean her up, making sure she is comfortable
ARISomething is breaking inside me.I can’t feel my touch, even as I touch my chest. I have gone numb, nothing truly registering as I sit on the floor, remaining in a state of static as she has left me.What you are doing is not worth it.Not worth it.Nothing is worth it.What do I do now?A murderer. A misguided child. Doing things that I shouldn’t, wrecking her life.A broken wail escapes my lips as I hunch down, feeling like I am taking my first breath.This is not how it was supposed to go. How can this happen? I killed someone, but I don’t know why. I don’t know why I keep getting angry, like I am in a cage, and when I am let out, I lash out at the first person closest.I wish I could stop, remember myself, and stop getting so angry, to stop my actions before they are thrown back at me, like I am going crazy and need to be put down.Everything I am doing feels wrong. Everyone keeps telling me that I am doing the wrong thing the wrong way.I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’
ARIMy phone starts to vibrate incessantly, but I choose to ignore it.Everything is overwhelming. From this car ride, to the boy sitting next to me. I just want to be alone, maybe stare at the wall in silence for hours until I feel like I am coming back to myself.But it won't stop, now starting to ring nonstop. I sigh, picking it up and seeing that my mother has sent me a bunch of texts, starting calm, asking if she can talk to me until they all progress, calm evolving to anger.“Stop calling me,” I say as soon as I answer the tenth call.“Where are you?”“Why?”“I need to speak to you,” she sounds like she is out of breath.For a second, I thought the bad guys who had been chasing us had come back, and she was in danger.“Are you okay?” I sit up, alert. “Are you in danger?”“No, but we need to talk immediately. If not, I will go to your dorm and then we can talk there, but I am sure you don't want people to eavesdrop on this conversation.”My heart is hammering, and I can feel the
ZADEI don’t think twice, swerving the car by the side of the road and killing the engine. It happens all too fast, and Ari is heaving fast, palm pressed on her chest as she looks at me like I have lost my mind.Maybe I have, but I can't have this conversation while driving.“Why did you stop? Let’s get going, I need to get my car back and go on about my day.”“I am sorry.” It comes out in a whisper, where I bow my head, forehead pressed on the wheel.“Call it even, I left you for dead anyway,” she says, sitting back.“I am sorry,” I repeat, this time a little louder. When she doesn’t say anything, I turn my head to her. She is looking anywhere but at me.She knows what I mean, it’s the very thing that has been hanging above us, the thing that has been suffocating us both. The unspoken thing.“I don’t know what you are apologizing for.” She can't even look at me.“I am sorry for rejecting you, Ari.”The silence that stretches between us is deafening.Until she breaks it with a word th
ZADE“I think we should be honest with each other.”“I have been honest with you from the get-go.”“No, no, you haven’t been,” I exhale, as I clench my fingers around the wheel. “We haven’t both been honest. At least one of you is going to hate me, let it be when you and I have no miscommunication or misunderstandings between us.”Ari only shakes her head, arms crossing. “I don’t know what you are getting at.”“I will go first.” I want us to have at least a less explosive relationship. Bickering every time and throwing each other glares and snide comments whenever we are together is starting to get old for me.Because I am starting to wonder if she will ever look at me with anything but hate, disdain when we are outside the bed. If she ever smiles at me genuinely, and if we ever are in silence, even hold hands without wanting to kill each other.I am starting to wonder how it would feel for Ari silvers to smile at me. How her eyes crinkle, of they do when she is smiling, what her laug
ARI“You thought I would forgive you after you reported me to my father that I am not a good mate?”I almost choke on the cake, and I have to glare at him. “I don’t care what you think, but I didn’t go to your father to complain about our lack of a good relationship.”He sits back as he crosses his arms and those damn muscled arms that I remember touching … holding onto …I clear my throat, shrugging. “Are you mad at me for your father approaching you, or are you just being petty?”“I am not going to forget about you paying for the damages if that’s what you are hoping for, Silvers.” He leans forward as he stands up, our faces so close that his breath fans on my face. “But I can be petty too, and you know it.”“How can I forget one of your redeeming qualities?” I ask, raising my eyebrows and closing the distance between us, and I don’t miss the way his nose flares in surprise.“If you are not by the parking lot after your last class, I will hunt you down, and it won't be pretty. You w