ARII might have done something that I shouldn’t have done.Not yet, at least.Here I am, out in the open facing my duel opponent, Olivia.I didn’t know it would come to this; a duel. When I told her that I could beat her, well, I didn’t know that could be termed as a challenge and an invitation for a duel.I knew I had fallen into some sort of trap when she had only smirked and told me to meet her outside where there was plenty of space to prove that ‘little’ theory correct.Max had stiffened next to me and Zade… well. It's his girlfriend and his fated mate dueling, indeed he could have said something.Anything.He didn’t and he isn't going to, not when he is acting like this whole thing is an inconvenience for him and acting all nonchalant. I want him to go, or do something but he isn't, he is just here, listening to Olivia talk where they are all gathered.The legacies.There aren't any other people around, as the other group is out somewhere doing their assigned tasks it's just us
ARII see white behind my eyes when she throws me on the ground with my back, I think my back might snap in two.Breathing is heavy, I think my lungs are punctured.Something heavy presses on my chest, and I feel like I am choking. I cough up painfully, and something travels on my mouth corners.I think someone is screaming and shouting, and then the pressure is gone.“Ari,” someone is shaking my shoulders. “come on, don’t pass out on me, Ari? Ari!”Max. Max is here.“I don’t think you are allowed to be a part of the duel unless you want penalties.”“And you think killing her is going to be a fair match for you?!”“get out now while I am being nice to you. This is between me and her.”“no more, the duel is over, she is down.”“no, the duel is over when I say it's over.”“This is insane! Zade, come on, don’t you see she is killing her?!”“get out now max, I know I can take you too. If you don’t want me to hurt your friend any longer, step away.”I try getting up but my whole body is in
ZADE“How is she?”Max is furious. She can't even look at me, and I know she would shout and even hit me, but she can't. But I know why, I didn’t do well, and this time, even a cruel person like me understands why I shouldn’t have done what I did.It's not what I did; it's more like what I didn’t do.I watched Olivia being beaten and humiliated like she was nothing. All legacies were there as we watched, not batting an eye even as Olivia tried to choke her and drown her in her blood.I didn’t do anything, not even try to stop the duel that was very unbalanced and unfair, all in the name of wanting to remain impartial. If I showed Olivia that I cared about her, then she would have been I trouble.But … what trouble? She was already going through hell in her hands. Does it go darker or worse than what she got? No.I was juts a shitty person, a cold person like she has told me over and over again.“You don’t have the right to ask me that.”I don’t, but it feels like the right thing to do
ARI“Who are you texting?”I slide my phone into my pocket, just as Max sits next to me on the bench. “Oh, no one.”“It looked serious.”“It wasn’t.” Just my new dad, telling him I might be taking his offers after all. All the things he has been trying to offer me I am finally saying yes to them.Mr. Parker is elated, judging from the numerous thumbs-up emojis he has sent back. He has told me that I will be ready when I get back to school in a few days.I am over this boot camp.“Come on, let's join the others.” I don’t want to but Max takes my hand and we start walking to one of the rooms we will be spending the day in, getting close and all.They are all in, seated at the round table. The room is designed as a circle, to help with the cohesiveness of the people in something about how buildings have different frequencies depending on their structures.I don’t pay anyone attention, not as I put on my earpods and sit by the window, away from them, and take out a book I brought. I have
ZADEShe has changed.It's in the way she is talking and interacting with others, or lack thereof.It's in the way I can't seem to be getting under her skin anymore. Even the way she is looking at me nowadays, like she can see me but not really. As if she is looking right through me. Together and in front of me but not truly with me.It's annoying me.We are back to the academy, thank hells for that because I couldn’t take more of that camp any more. I dont want to be around her, so close yet so far away and I don’t know how to even fix it.She was starting to look at me differently, too. It started as wariness, then to fear and then to something akin to … familiarity. Comfortable.But now it’s something I hadn’t seen from her before. She is looking at me like I don’t matter at al. she can see me and in her mind, I simply don’t matter, don’t hold anything of importance for her to regard me as anything but someone who she has to deal with in the specific moment I am with her.I don’t l
ZADEI don’t move an inch from where I am, exhaling slowly as Olivia sits next to me, shoulder to shoulder. I didn’t hear her coming up.I must have been distracted. Again.“can't sleep?”“When have I ever been able to?”She chuckles, before laying her head on my shoulder. “sorry, I forgot you are an insomniac like me.”When I don’t say anything, she sighs. “Just one of the things we are alike, don’t you agree?”“I guess.” I have been trying to spend less time with her. She must have noticed that he sought me out like this.“You haven’t come to see me for a while. I am starting to think you are ignoring me again.”“I have been busy.”“If its school work, I know you are way ahead and you have already aced the exams even before they are announced.”“I have other duties other than academics.”“I know, I have your full schedule, remember?”Right, I forgot.“Why have you been ignoring me?”“I thought it would be easier if we slowly got out of each other's lives.” Not even my grandpa is sup
ARII shouldn’t have agreed to come here.I don’t trust her, but I couldn’t ignore the call either. I wonder what she wants to say now that she has called me.The location too is very strange. I mean, who call someone up a frooftop in the middle of the night all in the name of talking?Olivia, that’s who.“I thought you wouldn’t come.” Her voice echoes before I see her. She shows herself from the stone she was leaning against, blending in with the shadows.“I was curious as to what you wanted to say to me.” I try not to show that I am intimidated by her. She did try to kill me, so of course I am wary. I would be a fool if I weren’t.“I suppose you would be,” she chuckles, tilting her head to the side. Her long hair slides off her shoulder, making the angle even more alluring. I still cant see her face, as her back is facing where the moon is illimunating from the sky.Soo, talk,” I shrug, hoping she will start already and I can go back to sleep. Not that I was, but she doesn’t need to
ZADE“I did it for you.”Experated sigh, then an eye roll. “I didn’t think you were attached to her like this. Don’t you hate her?”The longer Olivia keeps talking, the angrier I get.“Get out.”She looks at me, surprised. “What?”“Get out.”“You can't be serious,” she huffs, flicking her hair over her shoulder. You can't talk to me like that and tell me to leave just because of her.”I have a feeling if she doesn’t move, I might remove her myself. “I am. Now get out while I am being nice.”She tripped. I am not to blame that she is clumsy! What was I supposed to do when she fell? Jump after her? I called you, that’s enough to show I care.”“you didn’t call me, I found out on my own.” my hands are shaking. I a barely holding myself back from making sure she gets what she has done to ari only worse.“Whatever, all I am saying is, I did it for you. I called you and found you not because of her but for you.”“Olivia.”“You only call me that when you are serious.”“I want you to listen ca
ZADEI stop behind one balding man, I think he is here because he is a legacy. Not the official family but still as important. I can see the sweat trickling down his neck into the stiff, tight suit he is wearing.If I wasn’t so sure before, now standing behind him as he reeks of fear … it's solid. My hand goes through his back, and I touch the organ that’s beating and warm in my palm.Gasps echo around, but no one says a word, as they look at me with horrified expressions, save for my father, of course.“This man,” I turn to Jude, “you missed this man.” My fingers close around the beating organ and pull my hand back. The body shakes, twitching before his head thumps on the table like a log. The scent of blood permeates the air, thickening it with the tension and fear pulsing in the room.I walk over to Jude and let the organ fall on his file, and he looks at it, eyes wide. I am sure he isn't breathing. After all, I just killed a legacy, and he has a lot of mess to clean up.And also,
ZADEWe are back to ignoring each other.Or to be more precise, Ari has gone back to hating my guts and ignoring my existence. And when she sees me, when our eyes meet, those first two seconds, time seems to slow down, and it's only us. The world fades away, and it's us, and I usually get this feeling in my chest, this heavy thing that is threatening to drown me, but in a sweet way.It's only us, as if we know something, just the two of us, and then the moment is snapped and broken, and she is back to scowling at me, rolling her eyes.But I know, those few seconds, where it is only us, when time stops and we only see each other, feel each other… that is the truth of us.She told me she wanted devotion and then proceeded to lock herself in the bedroom before she left early in the morning, even though we did spend the night together.I didn’t sleep, not when she was in the next room and I knew she wasn’t asleep either. I listened to her breathing, every turn and twist in the bed.I list
ARI“What's going on inside this little mind?” his voice is so close to me, nose brushing my temple.I should feel something. A tingle, but I am so damn tired. All I want is to sleep, forget that I exist for a few hours before I start going back to my life. I can't escape it anymore, now can I?“Nothing,” I sigh. “I am just a little sleepy.”Is he expecting more from me tonight?I wish I had the girls with me. They would allow me to be in your space. Maybe I should call them, text them, but I don't have my phone. I remember crashing it in the hotel suite before I walked out into the traffic.Maybe I am not as okay as I think. But getting a grip is important.If I am going to avenge and face the people who ruined me to begin with, I can't let go of the reality. I need to be focused and work hard to make sure they don’t destroy me before I destroy them.I know I am not going to come out of it. The plans I made to go study law as further studies, get out of the pack and live my life as a
ARIMy life is a mess.It’s a fucked life, painful, dry, bland, void of colour.I am ugly too, rotting slowly inside, underserving of anything good because that’s just what is set in stone for me.Despite it all, despite feeling all of that, as Zade looks at me like I mean something, like I matter … I can't help but want to be under that gaze for a longer time.He is looking at me how he used to look at Olivia, like he might love me, like I mean something. He wants to know if I am okay, taking care of me, a gentle, caring touch on my cold, withering soul.I don’t deserve it, and yet.I yearn for it. Crave it. I can't not shudder under it.“Do you want me to ask you?”Yes. I want him to ask me. I want him to push for me to tell him what's going on in my head. For him to fight for me. I am selfish like that. Mother didn’t say anything untrue, because here I am, asking and taking what doesn’t belong to me.I came into this life, took Olivia’s man under fate’s guidance, and yes. It hurt.
ARII don’t think I have ever truly let myself think deeply about Zade, who is becoming, and his birthright. I am not one to attach my identity to the boy I am seeing or crushing on, and in this case, the boy I am mated to.But it's still heavy. I find it … sexy that he is already so mature, powerful too, and it's only going to get even better.Yes, I think I am crushing on Zade, and I can't control choking on my water once that fully hits me.“Are you okay?” he asks me as he rushes to my side, rubbing my back.“Yeah,” I wheeze out. “Guess I am a little surprised.”“Why?” he chuckles as he gets back to cooking.“The first thing someone sees when they see you is how spoiled you are.” That’s not true.The first thing I saw and felt when I first laid my eyes on him was just how magnetic and powerful he was. Yes, you could tell from miles away that he is wealthy, but it wasn’t the kind I got from the rest of the students.No, his was the quiet, generational wealth that just didn’t come fr
ARIIt’s weird.I woke up feeling this gut-wrenching painful reminder that I was still alive, that I am still feeling, and my mind is still as loud as before.I wasn’t ready to face myself, the world, or even reality, so I went back to sleep despite not knowing where I was. I could hear someone, a female, who would come and look after me once in a while. I should have been worried that a stranger was hovering over me.But I didn’t care. That’s how gone I was. I did manage to sleep more until I woke up again, and the tension in my temples was lessening.Someone was touching me like I was so fragile, and I could feel how gentle they were being. I knew it was Zade even before I could open my eyes.It felt better, the chatter, the exhaustion… it all lessened when he was around like this. It’s something I have come to notice, not ready to admit it yet, but it’s there.I could hear his thoughts. They were so unguarded, I wondered if he knew I could hear them, and it’s the first time I've be
ZADEShe is so beautiful.I exhale softly as I sit on the bed, watching her sleep. I can't resist reaching out with gentle fingers as I push back her hair off her face.Her hands are tucked under her chin, pressed to her chest, her body curled in as if she is feeling cold or protecting herself from something.But she isn't feeling cold; her body temperature is higher, too, which prompts me to stand up and walk over to the screen door. I slide it open, and the soft light curtains let the air in, billowing soundlessly.I had this bedroom built with a terrace garden, so it feels like someone is sleeping in a garden. I know she will love it when she wakes up.I sit on the floor, watching her as she exhales softly once cool air hits her skin.She had a massive panic attack, and I wasn’t there to help her. The first one she ever had was when she saw me kill that crush of hers –something I don’t regret, but I do regret triggering it- and she broke down in the bathroom.I knew she didn’t want
ZADEMercy.That word alone makes me hit her at the back of the neck as gently as I can, rendering her unconscious. I hold her limp body, my eyes on her now sleeping face, as I breathe hard.I am scared.I almost lost her a few minutes ago, and then watched her as she almost slipped out of her mind. I stand up as I carry her bridal style to my car, where I am parked. I don’t mind the eyes on me, murmuring bout the girl who almost got run over by walking to the busy highway.I secure Ari on the seat before I get in myself and drive away.I knew something was off, from the moment I saw her mother walking out of the hotel, minutes after I had dropped ari and then the coldness that overcame me like I had been pushed in an extremely icy frozen lake.I don’t think twice, taking her to my private home, somewhere no one knows, not even my father. She is still out cold, and I start to worry that I might have hurt her. Lying her gently on the bed, I clean her up, making sure she is comfortable
ARISomething is breaking inside me.I can’t feel my touch, even as I touch my chest. I have gone numb, nothing truly registering as I sit on the floor, remaining in a state of static as she has left me.What you are doing is not worth it.Not worth it.Nothing is worth it.What do I do now?A murderer. A misguided child. Doing things that I shouldn’t, wrecking her life.A broken wail escapes my lips as I hunch down, feeling like I am taking my first breath.This is not how it was supposed to go. How can this happen? I killed someone, but I don’t know why. I don’t know why I keep getting angry, like I am in a cage, and when I am let out, I lash out at the first person closest.I wish I could stop, remember myself, and stop getting so angry, to stop my actions before they are thrown back at me, like I am going crazy and need to be put down.Everything I am doing feels wrong. Everyone keeps telling me that I am doing the wrong thing the wrong way.I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’