I didn't feel like listening to another lecture, especially without Mom around to keep things from exploding between my dad and me. I also didn't want to lose the camaraderie my dad and I had tentatively found. He sounded tired and looked drained, but managed to pull on hidden reserves to get him through this.The way he was looking at me wasn't his usual condescending smirking glare, nor was it the demanding drill instructor, the no-nonsense-tolerated, stiff-ass attitude I often got from him when he taught me anything about being one with the wolf.It took me a second to realize he was going to try and speak to me like an adult, someone of equal standing. It's about time, I thought triumphantly. I took a breath and leaned forward a bit myself. I didn't trust myself to say anything other than, "I'm listening."Dad gave me a small, wane smile. I was sure his usual way of talking to me was ready to come out the second I acted immaturely enough, in his opinion, to blow it. His self-depre
"I don't hate you."A partial truth. He was my father, and I loved him. I just hated his ongoing sermons and training. He was a wolf living in a human world.I was a human who merely also happened to be able to live as a wolf. I grew up human, despite our family excursions as wolves. I was part of a deep and cultural human community. I had family beyond just him and mom. I was part of my mom's tribe, a connection with society Dad never had, and possibly, I realized, a connection he couldn't completely comprehend. I had an identity beyond being a wolf. I honestly couldn't see myself having any trouble out in the world.My dad was right about me sharing mom's desire to learn, and his too. Teacher he might be, but in his heart, Dad was an eternal student.Dad gave a little hmph as if he knew what I was thinking. He probably did, as often as we'd yelled it back and forth. But then Dad grinned a bit as he walked over and put his hand behind my head. He pulled on me until our foreheads met.
I took a moment while out of Dad's view to wince and rub my shoulder. I stuffed the very wrinkled bag in the back of my sock drawer without even looking at it. Peeling off the ripped shirt, I threw it in a corner. I had to bend over some to take a look at my shoulder in my dresser mirror. Touching it gingerly, I knew I was going to be sore for the next few days.No clean shirts left in my room, which meant nothing to hide the bruise that was working its way across my shoulder. I resented that grip but knew I wouldn't have stayed if it hadn't been there. And I had promised to listen.I demanded to be treated like a man and got more than I bargained for.His words about possibly becoming a rapist came back to me. He never said he had, only that the struggle in a crowded city was too much for him, how finding mom had been a godsend.I didn't want to ask, but at the same time, I was desperate to ask, to be reassured that my dad was who I always thought he was.It was my turn to try and st
The next day was more of the same, with Dad going out of his way to get me ready to be on my own. The first thing the following day was a long trip into the county seat to get a motorcycle added to my driving license. He insisted on a helmet, and I didn't argue.He also insisted on a trip to the mall while we were in town. He bought me one dress shirt and a few casual shirts so I'd have something other than my usual tees. We had lunch in the food court, where he instructed me to bring the wolf within me closer to the surface. Dad was leaning back, remaining casual, commenting on the various smells and sounds. I was glad it was mid-week and not too crowded.I felt like I was about to panic, freaked out by this new attitude he had. He and I had never really just hung together. It had always been my mom and me who took off to go places. It was hard to match his casual atmosphere and just chat about the wolf. It was hard to push down the rebellious teen I had been. I didn't know if I coul
Wolf.Man.The wolf I had just been was more wolf than I had ever been before. I felt confused and disoriented. I glanced at Dad as he eased the truck back on the freeway.I am a man. I knew I was! But…My body twitched, even though I had completed my transformation. My clothing felt constrictive. I tried to speak, but the words wouldn't form.Dad nudged the water bottle over until it bumped my thigh. I awkwardly managed to unscrew the top and take a sip. I didn't trust myself to put the cap back on. My eyes followed my fingers as they moved. It was like I didn't know my own hand.I automatically turned when Dad sighed."Open the glove box."I pushed the button, and the small compartment door popped open. Inside was the usual assortment of papers for the truck, a small first aid bag from which many a bandaid had come when I was a kid, and the heavy leather pouch Dad called his emergency kit.I knew what was in it, and had seen everything there many times when we went camping. I pulled
The whoops and hollers we could hear had Dad smiling as we got out of the truck. When we were close enough to see the bonfire, he laughed and gave me a push to join my friends. It was the last all-out gathering before school resumed, and probably the last time I would see my friends for a while. I was leaving tomorrow.It had been strange with Dad; good, but strange. We had talked, really talked, long into the night after we got home. I asked him all those questions I wasn't going to ask, and heard all the answers I wasn't sure I needed.It didn't stop there. Early in the mornings, we talked about food and finances, domestic household stuff. Every day after we ran together in the woods, and often during our runs, we'd discuss the wolf. During workouts, we shared ideas about fighting and shifting. I found myself motivated to work out with him. I didn't mind the soreness or the fact I had more bruises than our workouts had ever given me.We filled our nights with stories of Mom from befo
The wind whipped at me as I indulged myself for a few miles. I had taken my helmet off and allowed myself to be as much wolf as I could while controlling the motorcycle. This is the sort of brainless thing my dad would chew me out over, and something I'd always dreamt about doing. Right now, I couldn't resist. I had a clear, empty stretch of back road with no parent in sight.I couldn't wait to start my first day of work. I was looking forward to putting my education to good use. My new job suited me. There was an extensive range of chores involved. I'd enjoyed doing most of them at one time or another around the reservation.Dealing with the public is something that was also part of the job description. I worked seasonally at the old lava tubes back home and often did tours there; that's probably one of the things that helped me get this job. Being a Forest Ranger wasn't the highest paying or most glamorous job in the world, but it was hard to be a wolf and not appreciate the beauty
We took Derrick's car into town the following night after work. The two of us seemed to be working out well. It didn't take long before the new microwave was in the back seat; we stowed the mower in the trunk.Derrick pulled in at a coffee shop that had some tables outside. "One of my favorite haunts," he grinned. When I ordered a cup of tea, Derrick shook his head. "Aww, come on, Rick. Tea? Honestly? Real men drink coffee," he teased.The way he ogled the barista gave me an idea of why he liked the place. We sat down and got a bit of background on each other."The one thing I can't find around here is stuffed flounder," Derrick complained. "I could always find a decent seafood dinner in Maryland.""I'll have to catch you some mountain trout. Otherwise, it's elk for me," I told him."Elk? Don't tell me- mighty hunters, right?"We both laughed as I nodded."You got siblings?" Derrick asked. "I have two younger brothers and a sister. My brothers were happy when I moved out; it meant they
Jacob hung around for a while. When I had a few moments he and I would discuss the different moves the fighters used. We were interrupted by some shouts from upstairs.Someone opened the door to the basement to holler for Mac when a big dog snuck down. I had to laugh when I saw the yellow wolf with the black back. He sniffed around, easily avoiding the hands that tried to nab him."My fault," I laughed, "I bet he heard me howl earlier. I'll get rid of him for you Mac.""If you can catch him," said Jacob as he watched the four legged intruder make a circuit around the basement."Easily done," I said. "Clear the steps please," I hollered out, "and every one hushed."I stalked him, giving some playful whines and barks, acting like I did at storytime. I huffed, moved toward the steps, then added some more wolf sounds. Lobo came over and I herded him up the steps with another playful growl."I'm surprised to see you here," I told him once we were outside and out of view. He shifted in the
I was going through life with a permanent smile on my face these days.Winter had set in. Everyone had gone home during the holidays, spending vacation with their respective families.Derrick had flown home to Maine, complaining because he wouldn't be able to bring back a suitcase full of seafood. I think he was getting tired of elk. I did laugh helplessly when two big boxes full of frozen seafood arrived. We split the cost of a small chest freezer as a Christmas gift to each other. He was looking forward to a clam bake in the fire pit.The wolves had long gone their separate ways. They stayed in contact. Arctic was now the proud father to a set of twins, one boy and one girl, the mother doing fine. Old Grey often came to visit dad. Our living room became his winter home when he wasn't out and about. Lobo ranged around, unable to not travel. Businessman had left us his card, and I had promised to come visit him in the spring.Cherokee actually invited dad and I to come to their pow-wo
I stirred from my spot stretched out in the back of Mahina's car. Derrick was driving my bike back."Hey, how are you doing up there?""Good."Uh-oh. I had the impression Mahina wasn't thrilled with me right now. I climbed over the seat, stretching before buckling myself in."I really appreciate you putting up with me this weekend.""It's ok.""Nice of you to say so, even if it really isn't ok. I mean you come out here because you're worried about me, then I foist you off on my cousin and you get cornered by my grandfather."Anna said he was kinda brusk with you," I said sympathetically. "You should see him with my dad. Sometimes I think Grandfather doesn't realize it's different from me, even though it's the same," I finished thoughtfully."What do you mean?""Hmm, it's the part of my family history no one really talks about, and to be honest, part of it is a conversation that normally would wait for that moment in a relationship where someone asks the other how they feel about havin
Sheep made a slow, thoughtful nod."Ok then. Here's an amazing thing. The omega can have a special relationship with the alpha. See, the omega isn't going to attack his leader. If it's just the two of them, the alpha can let his guard down, be himself, not be vigilant one hundred percent of the time. Same with the beta. They can relax and be friends with the omega. They'll keep him in his place but might tolerate more from him than others will."I watched him, but more I smelt him. This had long been my specialty, gauging emotions."You've seen this?" I asked, knowing he was comparing what I said with the human interactions he had seen."Yes."His one-word answers slightly amused me."That's not all an omega does. The omega is usually the one who instigates play. Among wolves, what purpose does play serve?""Teaches skills."I smiled. Two words! We were working our way to a conversation."The omega will also break the tension. He might try to play with the alpha to distract him. If a
A domestic! Sheep didn't disappoint me. I could have laughed.I didn't wait, especially since I knew roughly what he was going to say and had given some thought to how to handle his ignorance. It was one reason I made sure the shy one didn't bolt.I lunged across the fire, knowing neither Sheep nor Lone Wolf would expect it. The force of my body slamming into Sheep moved both of us away from Lone Wolf. I kept myself completely human. I soon had Sheep pinned where he couldn't move.Sheep needed to have his alpha's hold over him broken. He needed to be overpowered by the authority of another alpha, or he would never be able to stand up to the warped alpha who controlled him. Most of all, he needed to understand the driving dynamics of his city pack.Sheep shifted under me. If he thought I hadn't fought this way, then he was crazy. I don't know how many times as a kid, mainly when we fought during my early teen years, Dad had me pinned no matter how I shifted. I learned.I put leverage o
We ranged around our kill for a little while, even after allowing the other pack to come in and finish it off. I wanted those who had never encountered real wolves to see some in action."Don't pay attention to the alpha right now," I told Sheep. "Watch the ones off to the side."I pointed out how they were jockeying for position, hoping to grab a bite from the carcass. The alpha was dominating it right now, gorging himself."He has a pregnant mate holed up in a den somewhere," I explained to Sheep. "He'll eat until he can't hold anymore, then go back to her and regurgitate so she can eat. Not my favorite way to eat a meal, but she'll eat without risking the future of the pack."We watched them for a while. Businessman was intent on listening and watching. Lone Wolf laid down relaxing, but his ears stayed up, testifying to his attention.Fake dawn had me leading everyone back toward the Pointe. I felt tired but good. I gave a wolfish grin to Lone Wolf running at my side. He grinned ba
"Think of your motorcycle," I told Lone Wolf. "When you drive you remember what you see and keep looking ahead. More to remember as a wolf, but same concept. No, keep your head up, focus in front of you."Lone Wolf was trying. The true wolves and the shy one had gone off to see if there was any prey nearby. The rest stayed back with me, ranging in a large field, waiting for the true wolves to herd anything they might find our way. Old Grey was lounging around somewhere.While real wolves would chase prey to weaken it for days if needed, I had a human life that didn't allow for a prolonged hunt right now. I had Mahina waiting for me. If they didn't find anything nearby they would just come back.Real wolves also grew up learning how to work together. The businessman, Lone Wolf, and the young wolf Sheep had never hunted before.I was still laughing over Sheep. He stayed away from me. He kept to the outskirts, away from any conversation where anyone would address him.Old Grey had risen
Everyone reacted at the same time. There were growls and bared teeth. Dad moved to one side, Cherokee to the other. Arctic and Lobo were also moving to take points to surround the odd couple.The shy one had been too caught up in the joy of the group howl to realize what had happened. Old Grey merely sighed and moved to block the shy one so he couldn't leave the pointe in a panic without pushing the old wolf out of the way.Businessmen were actually the only ones who shifted to humans."What the hell are you doing that for?" he asked the young wolf in confusion. He looked around at the reaction from the others, at a loss for what to do.I couldn't react at first. I knew Lone Wolf wasn't in any real danger. I finally stalked over to center myself in front of Lone Wolf and his companion. I rolled my shoulders, trying to decide whether to stand as man or stay wolf.My intense gaze caused Lone Wolf to make a decision of his own. He moved. It took me a moment to figure out what he was doin
It was fun running with Dad again, shoulder to shoulder, along a path we'd scratched out of the forest over the years. Even wild wolves followed this path on occasion. The pointe had a great view and the sound from there, well, you could hear and be heard for miles.Dad and I weren't the only wolves in the woods tonight.I could tell from the scents in the area that the wolf sent to represent the Arctic Wolf had been around for the last few days.The old grey was laying on the stone of the pointe. When I looked at him I saw only a wolf.There was another smaller wolf, friendly and unafraid, sitting on the trail. His coat was more yellow with black on its back and tail."A Mexican wolf," said Dad in surprise, shifting to speak. "Rare in the world these days. Hola, Lobo," Dad said, greeting him in Spanish.When I looked through Spirit Wolf's eyes I could see others gathering.The shy wolf I had seen hiding, not wanting to be found, had come despite his fear. He was ranging at the edges