Chapter 19

ETHAN

I sat alone in my room, staring down at the dark stain of blood on my clothes. The events of the past few days had left me exhilarated. But I had too much fun apparently that I totally forgot to clean it up. I was glad that Aurora had been the one to see me with it. It would be easy to shut her down. If it was the rest of my family, I would have to go through the route I did not like going through. As I sat down on my bed, my thoughts drifted back to Aurora.

I did not like how I had left things. I mean I believe a part of me cared about her, so I did not want to see her hurt like that. I hadn’t meant to push her away earlier, especially when she’d just wanted to check on me. I’d seen the worry in her eyes, the quiet concern that made her reach out when I clearly wasn’t welcoming it. Part of me wanted to allow her to stay back.

But then, I’d forced myself to remember. This was just a contract. I was here to secure an heir, to fulfill my duties as Alpha, not to make promises or give her a reason to hope for anything more. I never told her I’d rescued her from Damian for love. I did it because it was mutually beneficial. She needed protection, and I needed an heir. It was a simple arrangement, one that shouldn’t be complicated by feelings.

Yet, the memory of her face lingered, her disappointment heavy in my mind. I felt a pang of regret for the sharp words and the distance I’d forced between us. But I couldn’t let myself go to her, couldn’t comfort her when I knew it would only make things worse. If I softened, she’d misunderstand, and that would only complicate everything. I could not get her close to me. Getting my secret out now is possibly the worst thing that could happen to me.

My thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. I barely had time to react before Mila stepped inside, her presence familiar and electric. She was the daughter of my father’s beta, and we’d grown up together, sharing moments no one else knew about. At one point, she had been my secret girlfriend. But now, things were complicated. Mila was Sarah, my sister’s best friend and our past was something neither of us could forget, even if we tried.

Her gaze lingered on me as she stepped forward, a small smirk playing on her lips. She moved closer, wrapping her arms around my neck and sliding one leg over me, settling in my lap as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

I let out a soft chuckle, catching her around the waist as she leaned in to kiss me. “Mila,” I warned, the edge of amusement in my voice, “what did I say about coming into my room unannounced? Kiara could walk in any second.”

She brushed my warning aside, pressing a playful kiss to my jaw. “Oh, please. You and I both know Kiara’s too busy to even notice. I missed you, Ethan.”

I felt the familiar pull of her presence, the way we fit together so seamlessly, but I kept a careful distance in my mind. Mila was passionate, and spontaneous, and she felt at home in a way nothing else did. But we were bound by the rules of the pack, forbidden from being together publicly.

Her eyes wandered to the bed, where Aurora’s untouched tray of food still sat. She raised an eyebrow, her voice dripping with suspicion. “Since when do you eat dinner in your room?”

My grip on her waist tightened slightly, though I kept my tone casual. “Aurora brought it up. Just a gesture, that’s all.”

Mila’s face darkened, her body tensing. “She brought it? So, what, you’re getting cozy with your wife now?”

I sighed, rubbing a hand over my face. “It’s nothing like that, Mila. She just wanted to check on me. She’s been trying to be involved.”

Mila’s lips twisted in a bitter smile, her eyes narrowing. “Involved? She’s your wife, Ethan. How exactly do you think she’ll react when she finds out about us?”

I could feel the tension in her body, the anger simmering beneath the surface. “She doesn’t know anything, Mila. And I’m not planning on telling her. This isn’t her business.”

Her gaze sharpened, and she moved back, crossing her arms as she stared at me. “So how are you planning on giving her that child, Ethan? Have you told her the plan yet?”

I hesitated, the memory of that night flashing through my mind. “We were going to do it through IVF,” I said slowly, feeling the weight of my words.

Mila’s expression hardened, her voice laced with anger and disbelief. “You already slept with her, didn’t you?”

I forced myself to hold her gaze, even though I could feel the hurt radiating off her. “It was in the heat of a moment. I didn’t plan it.”

She laughed bitterly, backing away as if she couldn’t stand to be near me. “You got ‘caught up in the moment’? Are you serious, Ethan? You promised me this was just a contract, that you weren’t going to be involved with her like that.”

I tried to reach for her, to explain, but she pulled away, her eyes blazing. “I thought I meant something to you. I thought you cared enough to at least keep your promises.”

“Mila,” I began, my voice filled with guilt, “you know how complicated this is. I’m trying to manage this situation, but it’s not as simple as you’re making it out to be.”

“Not simple?” she spat, her hands balling into fists. “You made it sound simple when you promised me we’d handle this professionally, that you’d stick to the plan. But now you’re telling me you just couldn’t help yourself?”

I let out a breath, struggling to find the words to make her understand. “I didn’t want to hurt you, Mila. But this situation… it’s out of my control sometimes.”

She shook her head, hurt and betrayal evident in her eyes. “You could have controlled it, Ethan. You just didn’t want to.”

She turned, her hand on the doorknob as she looked back at me, her expression filled with disappointment. “I thought you were different. But I guess I was wrong.”

With that, she stormed out, leaving me alone with the empty tray and a hollow ache in my chest. I cursed under my breath, running a hand through my hair as I sat down on the bed, staring at the door where she’d just disappeared.

Mila’s anger was justified, but the situation was more tangled than she understood. She was my past, and Aurora and my baby, which was the future was something I could not joke with. I cared for Mila, maybe more than I should, but I also knew the limits of what we could be. The rules of the pack kept us from each other, and as Alpha, those rules mattered. As an alpha, I am not supposed to be with any of the past betas of the pack.

Mila didn’t want logic. She wanted loyalty, something I know I will fail to deliver. I couldn't put her first. I leaned back, closing my eyes as the guilt gnawed at me. I couldn’t deny the truth. Whatever arrangement I had with Aurora, Mila still had a place in my heart, a place that was raw and real. I’d wanted to protect her, to keep her close without exposing her to the dangers that came with being with someone like me.

And now, I’d hurt her in ways I hadn’t anticipated. I sat there, my mind racing, torn between my duty to the pack, my contract with Aurora, and the fractured relationship with Mila. I couldn’t keep juggling all these pieces, and I knew something had to give. With a heavy sigh, I got up and walked to the window, staring out into the dark. Mila’s words echoed in my mind. I wanted to go back to her and console her, but I was trapped there.

For the first time in a long while, I felt trapped. I’d thought bringing Aurora here would be simple, that she would serve her role and then move on. But I had unsettled her, which stirred emotions I hadn’t expected to rise from her part. These emotions left me questioning everything I thought I knew. I ran a hand over my face, trying to clear my mind, but the ache remained, lingering as a reminder of the mess I was in.

No matter how I thought I would be able to redeem things, I knew I could not. The only thing I could do was stay true to myself. I did not mind being a bad person. As long as I got what I wanted, then I would be fine. I was not the hero type anyway.