THE DEPRESSION

Those times were extremely tough for Comfort. The pains were excruciating. The emotional trauma. The thought that her dreams were broken into pieces by a thief who stole in deceptively to take it by force. She kept on reliving the memories in her subconscious mind. She found it very difficult to sleep. Several times she had woken up screaming in pain. 

Terrible nightmares followed again and again. Her friends Toyin and Kemi woke her up and demanded an explanation for her sudden fear and screaming in the night. She had also withdrawn from them and often comes out moody. She thinks a lot and had lost her laughter, vigour, liveliness. What was wrong, they demanded to know “hmmm, it is nothing girls”. “Why are you so bothered about me. I tell you it is, nothing. It is just this nightmare. " It was clear they never believed her. They knew she was hiding a lot of things from them. They eventually became tired of asking and faced their own business. There was this time Kemi was insisting, then she had to snap at her angrily to leave her alone. 

Those were days she never wished to remember again. She had tried severally to push the thoughts out of her mind but all efforts proved futile. She became a shadow of herself. The 18th year that was supposed to be a joyous day, living glorious memories, became a day she wished she had never known. A day of pain and torture. Oh! What a day! She wished she had never been born to know such pain. 

She wished, she was still with her parents. She wished they were still alive. She wished she had never left home to uncle Barry’s home. She wished she had never known him oh! How she wished and wished. If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

"There are many Uncle Barry’s out there still destroying innocent young ladies, the judgment of God will come upon them, I pray. I prayed for their victims to overcome their pains and come out stronger and stronger." Those were the words of my friend, Comfort.

At this juncture, I felt real pity for my friend Comfort. “I’m very sorry Comfort for all what you have passed through from the hands: of the predator. Who could have known that such ‘wonderful’ man could have taken undue advantage of you? That was criminal and he deserved terrible judgment. He should be made to pay for his sins in the law court”. I muttered in deep compassion. 

“Do you know that I feel as if a kind of chain that has tied me down had been broken? Somehow the more I speak, the more I feel relieved. These are things I had bottled up for years, I lurked them in the very recesses of my heart, now I have opened the padlock, the door of my escape has opened, I’m getting free. Though weak, but yet getting back my strength”, she uttered with a smile.

I still find it difficult to believe that she had imprisoned herself and refused to share these all-important things. “Oh! You have a strong heart” my friend. Thank you for letting me into your heart. I promised never to betray your confidence in me” I spoke in an assuring manner. “Thanks, dear”, she smiled. 

Many young boys and girls have been molested by guardians, friends, close relatives and never dared to share with anyone, they are always afraid to share for many good reasons. Some are afraid of stigmatization, some feel no one will believe them, some are so much in pain that they cannot just talk. What they do not know is that talking is the first process of their healing. Pedophiles are becoming many in society and they need to be exposed. Who will expose them except their victims? These were the things my friend and I were saying. 

She continued her story, the holiday came and I went home. Of course, it was a tug of war, I was thinking I would spend the holiday with my friends taking it in turns. All I needed to do was to tell my aunt that I needed a change of environment. She would gladly oblige, but I thought otherwise, I felt I should go home and face my fears. After all, he had promised never to do it again. It was not easy going back to uncle Barry’s house, it has been my home for many years now. I was somehow longing to go home and see my niece and nephew, of course, my sister. 

There were so many thoughts going through my young innocent mind. How will I be able to face uncle Barry? Will I not betray myself, will my bitterness not show. I am no longer the same girl again. Will my sister not find out what is bothering me? I braced up and decided to go back home. Luckily, uncle Barry was not around, he travelled to his village alone. I met my sister and her children. They were so happy to see me. Quickly my sister looked at me, then asked me to turn round she looked at me so deeply, I was afraid. She said I had become lean, my face is thin. “You this girl, you want to kill yourself? You have been reading so hard; please, this is too much. You have come home to relax, you must make up for the weight loss”. Hu u u! Hu u u! I stuttered I told her that I have been working so hard. The pressure of being the best in my department had been much because I have a competitor, and I have decided to be the best, nothing but the best, I said. “Hmm, take it easy my sister”. 

They had all missed my absence ditto for me too. We exchanged pleasantries and I hypocritically asked uncle Barry, and she told me about his travelling to his village. A little sigh of relief; though he was billed to return the following day. I started to think in my heart if only my sister knows that her husband is a killer, “flesh-eater, hypocritical liar, a rogue. She is blind, love is blind they say. “If only; she would never know, I prefer to suffer alone. I never wished her to know, it would break her heart I was so deep in thought that my sister said, “A penny for your thought” I jolted back to reality, I went inside to clean up.

Later in the day, my sister was relating to me what transpired in the Church. There was this single sister that used to be close to my sister Labake. They were both in the singing group in the church. She was a very nice woman, she had bought some things for the house severally like fruits juice, bread, etc. she works in the bank. She is in her forties. She has had many broken engagements. Men will love her and ask for her hand in marriage only to leave her later when they had, had their fill of her. She was a generous woman. She loves lavishing people with gifts including her men's friends. She has been disappointed with heartaches. She normally comes to my sister’s house to discuss her pains, to which my sister would always encourage her and tell her finally, “God’s time is the best, the patient dog eats the fattest bone”. 

Everyone loves the sister in the church. Who wouldn’t love an unrepentant giver? She gives excessively to the point that someone insinuated that she is using her gifts to destroy their luck. She will be getting richer by collecting their favours, successes, and promotions. She said, “it was like a charm used to collect people’s blessings”. 

Well, well, I never believed it then though people started rumouring about it in the church, they still collected her gifts. Some will say, “we will pray and destroy her charm in Jesus' name”.

My sister said she discovered that this woman started visiting her husband in the office to the point that his secretary had to inform her to be careful of the woman. She said she never believed it, she thought the secretary just wanted to destroy her marriage and their friendship. Of course, she became more conscious and started to pray and watch her. 

She started noticing her unusual closeness with her husband. Anywhere my husband is in the church, she would go there and stay just to talk with him. Whenever she visits she would ask of him and the two of them would be talking, leaving her as a stranger in her own home. It was becoming, unbecoming so she decided to accost her one day in the church. She shouted at her and started placing curses on herself" not me anyway. "She quickly withdrew from the church environment because she was going to cause a serious scene. People had gathered around them to mediate. She left and the crowd quickly disappeared, since then, it has left her a deep wound, she doesn’t come close to her again and she, in turn, decided to leave her.

I decided to ask my sister why she couldn’t ask her husband about the relationship between the two of them. After all, it takes two to tangle. She quickly replied, “I will never allow a Jezebel to destroy my home  I will never give the devil a foothold. I will never raise my voice at my husband, he is my head, I love and respect him." "Hmmm," I sighed and said, "you are indeed a wise woman". A wise woman builds her home, but the foolish one tears it with her hands. "Wao! 

I love this and I have learnt this from you, but it is a special grace. ‘Cos not everyone can endure this. They would have quarreled with the man and cause serious damage to their relationship. Help us to be wise" I uttered in prayer. (Amen).

A thought crossed my mind if I had opened my mouth very wide and tell my sister that her husband molested me, what will she say? She is the only one that can answer that. I held my peace. "It is well," I finally said. 

The following day, we were all eagerly waiting for uncle Barry to come I muttered, “the devil himself”. “My sister shouted, “what did you just say?”. “I said, “the devil” meaning that your friend is a devil”, I lied of course. “Can you now understand my plight. Can you now see that I had no one to talk to, no one to share my deepest pain with”. “I never knew which was worse;” the act or the aftermath”. The beast was coming home and my sister could not know, that she married a beast. She expected me to be excited. I had to pinch myself, again and again, telling myself," calm down, smell the coffee”. One day, I believe the truth shall be told. The beast shall be exposed. It does not matter how long it takes lies to perform their havoc, truth shall expose lies. These were the thoughts going on in my heart. We had prepared all sorts of assorted food and drinks to welcome the king to his house. 

Deep inside me, I admired my sister, her virtuous character is more glaring day by day. I was deep in my thoughts when I heard the familiar horn of his car and rushed out to welcome the sweetheart of my loving and good sister, Labake. I had to put on my acting skills and shouted alongside them to give him a very rousing welcome. We all thanked God for a safe journey. There were so many accidents on the road, God kept them. His car tires busted but were quickly repaired by a roadside mechanic. Armed robbers, robbed on the road but he had already passed before the robbery started, indeed God was to be praised. I told myself, “God is giving you a second chance. You better repent and be saved. If not for my sister and children, you are not fit to live”. 

“Babe, you are too bitter, calm down now, let it go”. I pinched myself back to the house because I was lost. Do you know my sister was extremely sensitive? She noticed that I’m always lost in thought. She voiced it out to uncle Barry, that one simply dismissed the talk. 

It was mixed feelings with uncle Barry. He was glad to see me at the same time he was deeply afraid of me. He couldn’t read my mind. He knew I was pretending. I quickly took his personal effects up the stairs. I was trying as much as possible to avoid him in the house, I pretended to be busy in the kitchen to which my sister asked, what I was doing. We had finished the meals for the day. We were all expected to sit in the sitting room, eat our meal and watch television.

I opted to eat in the kitchen just like that, I told sister Labake. “You two love-birds can enjoy yourselves. After all it's been a while”. We all laughed it off. Suddenly I heard uncle Barry told the wife, please let me see Comfort briefly. Before I could rush out, he strolled into the kitchen and held me from the back. I quickly gave him a dirty slap. I removed his hands from my waist, turned, and slapped him.” What! You slapped me, Comfort” uncle Barry said with his deep voice “Yes, I replied”. I will do it again and again. Try it again! You will see me in action. I had learned “Confu” from one of my male colleagues right from secondary school. At the University, I used to attend their lessons. One of the Chinese lecturers used to teach students freely on campus. I meant every word I said that day. I was ready to fight, if not for my sister and kids, I could have beaten this man that night. 

Dumbfounded, he left straight to the living room and sat down with his family to watch television. The wife noticed that he was very sober and asked, why? "What happened in the kitchen?" "Nothing serious, I hit my left because I was not looking properly. I almost lost my balance." “It must have been these children that put a stone in the kitchen” uncle Barry lied, “I murmured liar, liar in the kitchen”, my sister asked me to boil water for him, so that she could massage his body. He refused but the wife insisted. I quickly did it. My sister said, "no wonder I heard a sound from the kitchen side, I was just wondering what it was when my husband came in. Thank God, it was not serious”. I shouted from the kitchen. “It was serious, very serious, you need to give your sweetheart a real massage”. 

We all laughed, but uncle could only manage a smile. They went inside when the water was boiled to give him a massage. I was in the kitchen laughing, I was laughing so much that the children joined me in laughter. They thought I was just mocking their parents but they never knew. Oh! They would have been too disappointed to know about his beastly character.

The following morning, I told my sister I would love to travel to see one of my good friends. She told me, she would think about it. I told her I need a change of environment. She replied that I had just come back from school, I kept on disturbing her until she gave in. Uncle Barry, willing to please me agreed immediately. I packed a few clothes and went to see my friend Kemi.