She was asking him for the impossible, the one thing he couldn't give her.He couldn't begin to imagine opening his mouth and letting the shit he's kept bottled up inside him for years flying out of his mouth to her audience.There was no weighing it, he was undisputably sure she would leave his ass by the time he was done with spilling how fucked up he is to the last person that needs to hear it.There was too much pain and hurt buried under all the years that had swept past, so much hate and spite that he never thought he'd recover from, best left forgotten.He pushed his fingers through his hair, trying to stay the haunting memories and failing.He'd been fucked over as a kid, but he'd gone and done his own fair share of fucking up by looping her into his mess with clear intentions of hurting her even if that had been only designed to hurt her father in the first place.But the point was, he'd brought her into all this and this relationship they had going on, though beautiful and fr
Bree woke up with a stinging pain in her lower back, so sharp and piercing that it scared her, but it disappeared just as quickly as it had come.Her mind shot to the baby first as did her hand, cupping her bump with hopes that her child was okay.She was seven months plus along now, only a couple months more at most and her bundle of joy would finally be here, a part of their lives.Their lives.......the thought brought a damper with it, clouding the joy she had mustered.Funny how she's living in the same house with him and still she has no idea if there was still a "their" anymore.She had no idea what was what and it'd be a freaking surprise if they were still a thing because Ryder wasn't acting like it anymore.It's been days and the issue from that night still hung heavy between them, stretching on and on and keeping them from each other.She hated that they were at this point where they were fighting a lot, but she had no intentions of giving in to his whims this time and lettin
But that call to her ob/gyn was never made and neither was the one to Ryder.Well, she didn't think she had to make either of them anymore because by the time she could get around to it, it was almost as if nothing had happened.The tingle that had bothered her wasn't there anymore and there was absolutely no sign of the pain she'd endured earlier, which was surprising in itself. She didn't want to seem too paranoid about the baby because it's her first pregnancy, so she let it rest.She went about her day instead, helping Karen out around the house and making small conversations with the bubbly, older woman.Karen was a delight to talk to and she had the most beautiful tales about her super adorable grand kids whose pictures she always carried around in her purse, and talking to her always made Bree's day.She wondered if she should tell the woman about what had happened while she was in the bath since she sounded so experienced with kids and pregnancies having carried six of hers to
Ryder's been having a really rough week and everyone around him knew it, especially at the office. His mood was constantly sour and he went off at the slightest provocations.He was that boss nobody wanted to have to deal with and it bothered everyone else but him.Well, that's what everyone thinks but it wasn't exactly true.Ryder knew he's been hell to deal with recently, and honestly, he didnt want to be but he couldn't help it because he had no fucking idea how to deal with the root of his problems.God, he missed her.He needed her to the point where it hurt.But she was asking him for the impossible.He couldn't give her what she was asking for, couldn't strip himself that bare to the point of absolute vulnerability.He was almost certain she would leave if she heard the truth she was asking him for.Fuck, if she listen to him crumple the man she thought she knew and hand her the damaged little boy still screaming inside from years of abuse both their parents had perpetrated, he
Ryder had no fucking idea how he made it to the hospital, all he knew was that he was needed and he needed to be there as soon as was fucking possible.It was something of a miracle that he didnt get into an accident on his way here because the man broke rules and records on his way here.There had been no need to ask for their location and all because there was only one place Bree would be, he knew, and that was because for once she didn't fight him on this and had just accepted that she and the baby deserved the best.Getting her information from the staffs, as soon as he was inside, was easy peasy because everyone around here knew who he was and they knew to treat matters connected to him as urgent.And for once he was grateful for that, because there was only a thin line holding him from snapping and losing it.Today was and still is one hell of a day for him and he wouldn't want to relieve it for any damn reason. Finding Karen and Bree was all he wanted, his eyes itched to see hi
It was a moment before a doctor came out of the room to join Ryder and Karen and then another before he proceeded to take just Ryder to his office, while Karen went in to stay with Bree.While Ryder needed to know what was going on and all, he kinda wished he could stall this moment just a little bit longer, at least until he thinks he's ready to deal with whatever will be hauled at him.But he couldn't, his baby girl's life depended on this, their baby's too and he knew he had to be brave for them.The doctor's office wasn't any sort of calming for him like he'd expected it'd be, at least not with all the posters adorning the walls, displaying varieties of images of pregnant women, pregnancy complications and information on them and a lot of birth defects.In a passing thought, he knew it'd be more comforting for any person to not have to look at them right before receiving any information about their pregnant partner that's fighting for their life and that of their baby.But that was
"Them?" Bree asked, mirroring the face he was sure he had on when the doctor had informed him that they were expecting twins."Yes baby, we're having two." His lips stretched into a full smile at that look of utter disbelief and bewilderment tattooed on her face."But the doctors.....the scan....." she stuttered."The second baby wasn't really showing until now. The doctor said he was positioned way back and wasn't showing up in the scans.""Oh my God." She gasped, her eyes filling with tears ge could swear were tears of joy.He knew that feeling, he'd felt it just moments ago, he was infact still feeling it."You said we're meeting them soon, why?""The doctor thinks it'd be better to get them out now to avoid any complications and because he wants to get a look at our second baby to make sure he's doing just fine."He explained as best as he could, avoiding any mentions that would worry her at this point.She was already dealing with enough and he didnt want to burden her with the fa
Bree was out of it for a while after the whole surgery, no thanks to the anaesthesia she'd been administered prior and for a while all she had were flashes in between.She was drifting in and out of the anaesthesia induced sleep, her eyelids fluttering every now and again, while she gained consciousness slowly as the thing eventually wore off.It took a bit of recollecting to remember she was in the hospital, how she'd got here and what exactly had been going on before she went under the knife.Her hands went immediately to her bump despite the pain she felt in the entirety of her body, and she knew immediately that it was different.It felt almost as if a very vital part of her being was missing and she knew that it infact was.Ryder had said something to her about the doctor advising that they have the baby today for safety reasons.Wait, he'd said babies, a fact that she still found both overwhelming and hard to believe.All these months, from the very start, she'd believed she was
Her box laid open in the middle of their bed while Bree went around the room, taking anything she thought she'd need and throwing them inside it.She's procrastinated this packing for a while now but it needed to be done and as a matter of fact now that Ryder was still at the office.She didn't want him to come home and find she was the only one delaying the vacation he'd taken the whole month to plan for them.Yeah, a vacation, more like a honeymoon except the kids, Karen and Issy, the new nanny, were coming too.In the couple of years that's passed, a lot has happened, none of which she regretted one bit.Not learning how damaged how husband had been before he waltzed into her life or that his plan had been to use her as pawn in his schemes to get revenge, none of it.That last part had hit harder than the rest, knowing that she could have so easily suffered for the crimes of someone who didn't even give two piece of flying shit about her.She'd taken her time to digest that piece
"You know you'll never hurt Xander, right?" She asked him quietly, and honestly, she had no idea what that did for him.He didnt know that, he's been afraid of that since he knew he was expecting a soon too and maybe, just maybe, that has affected his relationship with his baby.He wondered if she'd noticed, all the times he'd opt to hold Lexie instead of him, afraid that whatever had made his father get so awfully abusive to him might be nestled somewhere inside him.What if it was a bad trait living inside him too, waiting to grow and make him a monster too?It was the sole reason he hadn't wanted kids, ever, but Bree had come into his life and many things had changed with her presence.She'd made him want things that he had no right wanting, made him be live he deserved some good things in his life and now here they were, with two kids, one of them a boy......just like he'd been."I need you to understand this Ry, you'll never be like your father. You are a good man, one of the best
Bree knew that Ryder had gone through a lot growing up, hrll she knew he had had it tough growing up and has dealt with his fair share of traumatic experience, but abuse at ten?That was a lot to digest.It must have been so difficult for him, a different kind of hell even to loose the one person that genuinely loved him and have the other person who was supposed to love him now resort to abusing and molesting him instead.She couldn't stop the tears that rolled down the sides of her face as she listened to him tell it in that voice of his that couldn't choose between indifference, anger and pain.She could imagine him, so innocent, so small, so hurt and yet do afraid of the monster he calls father.No wonder his father snd hers had gotten so along together and had even made it as close friends.They were both bad pedophilic men, cut from the same nasty cloth.".......and just when I thought it couldn't get worse, he started bringing his friends over."Her breath caught in her throat s
Before he got into bed, Ryder had already made up his mind to tell Bree everything that she wanted to know about him and why he turned out the way he did.He didn't want a fight like the last time, that had been an absolute hell, and he didnt want to let his past keep winning.He wanted to get it out there, he needed to.This morning had shown him that, he might never be over those horrid incidents but it would be better to know he tried.And if he had to share it with anyone, then why not her? Why not the woman he was ready to spend the rest of his life with?Even though he hasn't popped the question, he knew that was his truth, he's been ready for that step for a while now and he'd ask her anytime from now."Baby please...."Her voice called his mind back from wandering off.He opened his mouth to, but the words weren't coming, his tongue sat heavy in his mouth, unmoving, while the forbidden images he's fought so hard to keep at bay flooded his head.His hand that held her close sque
Bree didnt know which bothered her the most this night between a tantrum throwing Xander who wouldn't calm down to anything and a Ryder she'd watched all day start to recoil into himself.But she'd be damned if he thought that she'd let him do that to both of them again.Not this time around, no.It was surprising still how fast his mood had swung from after she found him in the sittingroom with the last people on earth she expected to see today.He'd been okay at first, talking with them and even playing smug with her when she'd called him out on knowing they had guests snd not mentioning.But as the discussion in the room had settled more between herself and Larry, encompassing how much things had changed back home from when she left up until now and stuff, she'd noticed the start of his withdrawal. By the time Larry had come around filling her in on what had been decided on the case of her father, Nathan and Brandon, he'd been about ready to combust.She'd noticed, and before she c
The rest of the day passed in a blur for Ryder, centered around the two new men in the house and the babies they came to visit, mostly.It was nice to see Bree around other people that wasn't him and the kids, to see her around her own crowd.She needed this, he knew, because in these past months it's been just himself, the kids and Karen in her life, which wasn'tideal for anyone really.It must have been difficult for her, not having anyone or anywhere to go, especially in the times he'd been an absolute asshole to her and she must have needed someone to vent to, but she'd endured it without complaint.He hated that she had though, she should have said something, done something, but she hadn't and he couldn't even lay the blames at her doorstep now.He'd been all that she'd had here, away from her family, biological and adopted, and he'd fucked up royally.These thoughts and accusations in his head while he watched her bloom like a flower having its first taste of sunshine in a while
The memory of what happened in the bathroom stayed with Bree while she had her soak in the tub and an accompanying nice bath, making her flush every now and again.She never expected it to feel this good again, but Ryder had broken every of her doubts with how easily he'd made her body sing and how intensely he'd made her come.Her legs still felt shaky even after time had passed and she was out of the one room that now held a different memory for her.She'd worried that he didnt want her anymore since the babies came and mentally, she blamed it on her postpartum body and the scar that lined her flesh, the scar that marked her first step into motherhood.And those thoughts had almost made her hate it and herself too.But this morning, barely an hour ago, he'd shown her that she'd been worrying for nothing really.Her body ached sweetly even as she got dressed up, still humming from his sinful ministrations.The room was empty which means he'd taken the babies with him on his way out, s
"Then stay."That sentence, made only of two words, in that moment, sounded more powerful than any argument Ryder could think of.He wanted to, fuck, he's dreamed of staying, like she was asking him to and doing the things she was suggesting, but the fears he'd parroted to her were real for him.He didn't want to hurt her, shes been through enough in recent times to add that to her plate and he knew he might with how rough this could easily turn.She had no idea what she did to him, to his control and without it, he could do things that both of them would only regret later....While his head turned and tossed the pros and cons of indulging their flaming desires and fantasies right now, his eyes followed her body's slow descent until she dropped to her knees before him.She looked like an angel to him, in fact to him she was one, just naughtier and more tempting to his already thin control.Her dainty fingers reached up to the waistband of the sweatpants he had on and he just watched as
"Ryder.......please......"Bree could hardly believe the voice saying these words belonged to her.She sounded so different to her own self and that was probably because it's been a long while since she's had Ryder touch her like this.She was almost beginning to think they'd hit a drought in their sex life before this morning happened.The no sex rule made sense during her recuperation period she could understand, but even before that and then after, he'd still been reluctant to touch her in an suggestive way.It had bothered her enough to make her believe it was because she looked hideous to him now with her scars and all, but the eyes that had taken in every inch of her body just minutes ago had cleared her of worries.He wanted her snd he wasn't hiding that either.She arched her body as his fingers found her other nipple, catching it between his forefinger and his thumb and rubbing it mercilessly till she thought she'd come from the pleasure.Initially, she'd been afraid she might