CADEN'S POVShe feels so small, yet so perfect, like she was sculpted from me and was made to be right here, in my arms, kissing me back like she's doing right now.....Her lips taste like candy as they glide against mine, giving almost as much as they are receiving and driving me to the brink of insanity and back.There are many ways in which I want to explore this thing sizzling between us right here, right now......so many things I want to do with her, but I know she's not ready for any of me.Hell, I'm not even ready for myself, for us.... yet.I know she's still scared of me, still afraid of the things she believes me capable of, like breaking her, and I don't blame her for any of it.I understand her, I'd be scared of me too if the roles were reversed, I mean I had quite the reputation while I was hiding from myself and whatever it is I feel, none of it good.Blocking off the distracting thoughts rampaging in my head, I nestle my palm at the back of her head, holding her closer
CADEN'S POVFollowing the guidance of a couple hotel security that volunteered, we returned to the trail of the hike earlier.This time, not for the fun it'd been about earlier but for a more serious situation like the search of Chelsea.Hopefully, someone finds something of hers soon to help us track her current whereabouts so this nightmare can end already.After the day we had, all I'd just wanted was to spend the rest of the night with Jade, probably cuddled up and catching up on the latest episodes of that show I know she follows, but here I am instead.It's almpst like everytime I make a little progress with her, something just happens out of nowhere and sets us paces back.Now she blames herself for being with me and not noticing that her friend hadn't returned with the rest of us and though I'd tried everything to make her see that that was in no way her fault, the guilt eating her up had been visible on her face.In the moments before I'd left with the search group, she had wi
JADE'S POV After what happened with Ches today, I'm finding it most difficult to settle down and catch any form of sleep.The guilt of staying crossed with her and not noticing her absence early enough is still stuck to me like a second skin, plaguing my mind.And there's nothing that I've done this night that's helped.Not even going into Caden's room to apologize for being so hard on him and saying the thoughtless, hurtful thing that I had, had done the trick.The only excuse I have for acting the way I did with him earlier is that I had been hurting myself and had been looking to bite......... and he'd just been there.I found him asleep though, sprawled in the middle of his bed and out like a light, lost to the hoarding hands of oblivion, his muddy shoes still on.And he'd looked so fucking exhausted that I didnt have it in me to wake him up just to listen to the things I had to say, so I just helped him get rid of the shoes instead, along with his shorts before covering him up.I
JADE'S POV I woke up to a text from Matt calling me pancake and accusing me of being a sleepy head in that usual cheery tone of his and honestly, that set my day off to a good start.It made my insides feel lighter knowing that we are good and back to normal, that he wasn't still pissed from yesterday, not that I expected him to.This is Matt we're talking about after all, ever goofy and bright unlike Caden whom I haven't even set my eyes on since waking up this morning.I'd gone to his room this morning to look for him but I found it empty, all my efforts to find him after, futile.I didn't know what to think then, and if I'm being honest, I still have no idea what to think now, at almost noon, watching him play snooker, a game I know he's averse to, and talking with every other person in here except me.I can almost swear he's avoiding me and though I've spent this whole trip convincing myself, and him, that space from him is exactly what I want, I hate the way it makes me feel.Bur
MATT'S POV Since getting thrown into the drama that is Jade and Caden's relationship, the one thing I've learned is that one of the most difficult things in life is watching the person you love pin hopelessly for someone else.And that point where you have to cuddle them because they are broken, tell them everything will be fine because they are hurting, hope that they find their happiness even if the cost is yours because knowing they are happy is good enough for you........That has to be the goddamn cherry on top of everything and a fucking kick in the nuts too.Honestly, it's so fucking hard for me you know, being the shoulder to cry on when I will give anything in the world right now to be the one that makes her heart skip beats with excitement and her eyes shine brighter........Just my luck that the first time I let my guard down and let myself develop feelings for someone, they happen to be smitten by my closest friend.Funny enough, I've made the decision not to care what hap
JADE'S POVToday is one of those days you just wake up feeling like everything will finally be okay, each puzzle in it's place and for the life of me I can't even tell why.But I like how it makes me feel so I'm not complaining.I hum quietly to the lyrics of Chris Brown's under the influence as I pack my overnight bag for the next activity on our itinerary which happens to be camping.Yeah, after long considerations the teachers had decided that we get to finish our stay here before we go home but this time around, we all get some kind of security bracelets that is supposed to notify them if one of us strays too far from the rest.I think I'd been the happiest person in the room when the announcement had been made because the last thing I need right now, on top of every other thing going on with me, is having to go home and deal with Amber.I can swear she's still waiting to rope me into that stupid pageantry stuff she'd suggested earlier or something just as annoying.She's not the k
CADEN'S POVThis whole trip has become more exhausting than it is fun for me and truth be told, I'm just waiting for the end of it to roll by so I can go home and finally catch a break.Seeing that accusing look in her eyes every time she sees me with Liz makes me feel like discarded gum caught at sole of a sprinter's shoe, and I hate it.The fact that she's putting in double the effort I'd started out with in avoiding me now isn't even helping.I know it's all because of Liz and trust me I know how difficult it must be for her to have to watch us all day, but things are not exactly as they seem. The problem though is that I'm not sure how to explain that to her without ruining my entire carefully constructed plan.A plan that I've been working on for the past couple days and one whose result I can feel within my grasp.Almost.I hate that my hands are tied and there's nothing I can do to ease her pain and the betrayal I see clear as crystal in her eyes every time I look in them, but
JADE'S POVThe campsite, we learned, was a bit of distance from the hotel, so we had to be conveyed by the buses that had brought us in the first place.The teachers insisted that we ride exactly the same way we did when we came to avoid confusions and mistakes, ruining the very firsts of my plans.Plans that involve staying away from him.How am I supposed to achieve that now when I'm supposed to be riding shotgun in his over priced car.I'd been so willing to trade places with Liz to avoid the awkward silence I know we'd have to endure the whole ride.But she had gotten in an almost fight with Marina, the senior with flaming red hair and a sharp mouth, bringing one of the teachers attention to them.They'd been admonished and then led into the bus and forced to seat at the front row where they could be watched for further misconduct."I hope to see you and Summers there in one piece. "Mr Fredrick said to the last person in the world I want to be confined with at the moment, in a voi
CADEN'S POVI know what she's asking but the answer to her question is lodged in my throat, not coming up and not going down, only suffocating me like those nightmares I beg to wake from and hear nothing in response except my own thudding heart and my laboured breath.Time pass, the question condensing in the air, getting thicker and heavier in its entirety and I just feel so small, s feeling I've avoided like the plague in these recent and brighter times.She sits up on the bed, dropping my hand eventually like I'd wanted at some point, but the waft of cold breeze that cools it off of the tiny balls of perspiration that had built in them from contact, reminded me why this is the last thing I want.She says nothing, doesn't ask me again or try to push me fo tell her about the hellish years that had followed leaving here and the nightmares that had built after it.Just nothing.She just hugs her knees to herself and watches me and I see it in her quiet gaze, the resignation and resolve
CADEN'S POVI know what she's asking but the answer to her question is lodged in my throat, not coming up and not going down, only suffocating me like those nightmares I beg to wake from and hear nothing in response except my own thudding heart and my laboured breath.Time pass, the question condensing in the air, getting thicker and heavier in its entirety and I just feel so small, s feeling I've avoided like the plague in these recent and brighter times.She sits up on the bed, dropping my hand eventually like I'd wanted at some point, but the waft of cold breeze that cools it off of the tiny balls of perspiration that had built in them from contact, reminded me why this is the last thing I want.She says nothing, doesn't ask me again or try to push me fo tell her about the hellish years that had followed leaving here and the nightmares that had built after it.Just nothing.She just hugs her knees to herself and watches me and I see it in her quiet gaze, the resignation and resolve
CADEN'S POVI know what she's asking but the answer to her question is lodged in my throat, not coming up and not going down, only suffocating me like those nightmares I beg to wake from and hear nothing in response except my own thudding heart and my laboured breath.Time pass, the question condensing in the air, getting thicker and heavier in its entirety and I just feel so small, s feeling I've avoided like the plague in these recent and brighter times.She sits up on the bed, dropping my hand eventually like I'd wanted at some point, but the waft of cold breeze that cools it off of the tiny balls of perspiration that had built in them from contact, reminded me why this is the last thing I want.She says nothing, doesn't ask me again or try to push me fo tell her about the hellish years that had followed leaving here and the nightmares that had built after it.Just nothing.She just hugs her knees to herself and watches me and I see it in her quiet gaze, the resignation and resolve
CADEN'S POVI know what she's asking but the answer to her question is lodged in my throat, not coming up and not going down, only suffocating me like those nightmares I beg to wake from and hear nothing in response except my own thudding heart and my laboured breath.Time pass, the question condensing in the air, getting thicker and heavier in its entirety and I just feel so small, s feeling I've avoided like the plague in these recent and brighter times.She sits up on the bed, dropping my hand eventually like I'd wanted at some point, but the waft of cold breeze that cools it off of the tiny balls of perspiration that had built in them from contact, reminded me why this is the last thing I want.She says nothing, doesn't ask me again or try to push me fo tell her about the hellish years that had followed leaving here and the nightmares that had built after it.Just nothing.She just hugs her knees to herself and watches me and I see it in her quiet gaze, the resignation and resolve
CADEN'S POVI know what she's asking but the answer to her question is lodged in my throat, not coming up and not going down, only suffocating me like those nightmares I beg to wake from and hear nothing in response except my own thudding heart and my laboured breath.Time pass, the question condensing in the air, getting thicker and heavier in its entirety and I just feel so small, s feeling I've avoided like the plague in these recent and brighter times.She sits up on the bed, dropping my hand eventually like I'd wanted at some point, but the waft of cold breeze that cools it off of the tiny balls of perspiration that had built in them from contact, reminded me why this is the last thing I want.She says nothing, doesn't ask me again or try to push me fo tell her about the hellish years that had followed leaving here and the nightmares that had built after it.Just nothing.She just hugs her knees to herself and watches me and I see it in her quiet gaze, the resignation and resolve
JADE'S POV I try hard not to look at him differently, not to feel so much hurt on his behalf and not blame myself so much for not being there when he needed someone the most, but it's sooo fucking difficult not to, not after listening to everything he just said.I had no idea all he'd gone through, alone and now all the times I spent hating his guts and resenting him seems a waste and stupid.Every day, I imagined he was enjoying his super perfect life, looking down his nose at the rest of us measely teens but his life had been anything but perfect.It'd been all bright on the outside and yet very dark, lonely and hollow on the inside that it must have been so fucking difficult.Somehow, I'm glad I skipped school today and is spending the day with him, a weak attempt at making up for lost times and a silent apology for....everything.Silently, I'm grateful that his book went missing because he would never have told me any of this if it hadn't, though I hope to hell and back that it do
CADEN'S POV Richard was a portly man, a little too young to be imagined a close friend of my dad's and always overly excited with his beady eyes and warm hugs.......but I don't tell her this.I don't say a word about how I hate the smell of musk and spice to this day because of him and I don't mention how terrifying I find anything served unsealed or in a glass.I dont say shit to her anymore than I already did because even that is too fucked and too much to dump on someone.There's no point burdening her with the whole story now of how he'll come home from work early every other day, always glad when he finds me home alone.He'll always smile like he's the good guy and ask how school was, even though I never bother to answer any of his questions. All I wanted at that point in my life was for my mom to not be.....gone and for my dad not to always be gone, not some man always prying into my business every now and again.Her sobbing, faint now but still there, racking through her petit
CADEN'S POVI know what she's asking but the answer to her question is lodged in my throat, not coming up and not going down, only suffocating me like those nightmares I beg to wake from and hear nothing in response except my own thudding heart and my laboured breath.Time pass, the question condensing in the air, getting thicker and heavier in its entirety and I just feel so small, s feeling I've avoided like the plague in these recent and brighter times.She sits up on the bed, dropping my hand eventually like I'd wanted at some point, but the waft of cold breeze that cools it off of the tiny balls of perspiration that had built in them from contact, reminded me why this is the last thing I want.She says nothing, doesn't ask me again or try to push me fo tell her about the hellish years that had followed leaving here and the nightmares that had built after it.Just nothing.She just hugs her knees to herself and watches me and I see it in her quiet gaze, the resignation and resolve
JADE'S POV I can't believe he liked me back then, almost as much as I like him and said nothing.All those years ago and he'd let some stupid thing he heard me tell Ches out of resignation ruin all of it for both of us.I mean, she and I had been what we thought of as pretty obvious in our crush on him, she, the more obsessed one and me, more the best friend that knows for sure that she'll never have the guy but he'd not once seen through any of it?Wow, I can see now why most people would easily agree that most guys can be so fucking clueless, annoyingly so, when they want to be."So when you returned, started a new school and found out I was there, why didn't you try to talk to me about it, or say something at least? Why did you just continue ignoring me, barely answering my greetings and rolling only with your new circle of popular friends?"He has the decency to look sorry about that, like he just realised now too how much of a bitch hindsight can be."I'd just gotten out of very