When I was in senior secondary school, I remember learning about idiomatic expressions. I used to wonder what kind of dumb phrase was, to wish the ground will open up and swallow you.
First, how the hell was it possible for the ground to suddenly split up like an earthquake and swallow a person? How logical and realistic could that be?
I didn't quite agree with the phrase, but anyway, for the sake of coming out in flying colours in my exams, I accepted the definition, hook, line, and sinker. I remember my teacher used to say it meant one wish to escape or some instant relief from being mortified or extremely embarrassed.
It was today I realized that what an adult can see while sitting, a youth will never see it even if it is right under their nose, or even if they are at the top of an aeroplane.
All of a sudden, I craved for the ground to open up and swallow me. All I wanted was to curl up into a ball
I have been working in Access bank headquarters for two weeks now and that two weeks was the most physically and mentally exhausting moment of my life.Do you remember how I said working for the arrogant boss for a year can't be that bad? Well, that's a lie because it is freaking worse. Working with that Yoruba demon named Alexander Adebayo, popularly known as Billionaire Alex has been tormenting. There was nothing I ever did that pleased him. Everyone naturally assumed that pregnant women and women on their period are the only nagging people in the world. Well, who knew a certain billionaire jerk nags as well.Whenever he told me to do some calculations, he never failed to tell me to redo them at least, fifteen times a day. Well, maybe I'm that bad in mathematics. And when he tells me to print out something, he ends up scolding me claiming the print out isn't clear enough. His never-ending demands of excessive print outs due to my punishment
I was once an underage high school student and was at the strip club.Okay calm down geniuses, it was one of those moments of my life when I wanted to do crazy things like jump in the middle of an ocean next to a shark and tick them off my bucket list. Yes, I had a bucket list back then which had crazy contents I wanted to explore. I am yet to plot a new one because I have been so busy.So, I felt and thought I was never going to be caught, so I might as well give it a trial. I mean what is the worst thing that could ever happen?But on the contrary, I later got caught by my Christain religious studies teacher who was holier than thou in my school. She happened to be performing on the stage. It was embarrassing and crazy to think of. It was one of the moments that got stuck in my ever-green memory. It was a horrible experience but I can only hope and pray that today doesn't get even more horrible for me.The t
In Nigeria, there are some adventures you are very sure will hardly scale through Saturday, being a work-free day.Saturdays in Nigeria are known for sanitation, laundry, morning devotion, weddings, owambe, and party jollof rice. Talking about weddings, mom attended a wedding party. Mom's friend, who knows a certain someone that knows another person who is related to the bride's family invited her. Fridaous on the other hand will never miss an opportunity to devour a smoky jollof rice and munch on deliciously prepared stewed goat meat.I recently just finished my house chores and I'm currently in the kitchen making breakfast. White rice and egg sauce while Harriet is busy washing the dishes. It must come as a shock that a certified high class, slay queen like Harriet is doing the dishes. Well, turned out she lost her Instagram pageantry and has to continue washing plates for two weeks."Instagram diva? Madam Fashion pageantry?" I pe
I know waterfalls, lakes, and gardens all represent beauty. But have you ever seen a kind of beauty that captivated, allured, and rendered you speechless and completely awed?The moment Louis drove into Lekki phase 1, I knew I was been transported to another universe entirely. The entire place is simply urban with tall erected buildings in modern architectural designs in an exact grid pattern. Ubiquitous skyscrapers smudged by the smug-filled sky. Elaborate automobiles with tinted glasses danced around. There are streets of upmarket stores, smooth black and glass exteriors, fancy names in fancier lettering.The island is a world of wealth, beauty, and riches. The difference between where I was coming from and where I'm being transported to is a blazing fickle of poverty to affluence. Everywhere looked different with a perfumed atmosphere made all the more inviting by trending hip-hop music.The Porsche came to a roundabout wit
Sleeping early in the morning while the rain is falling can be another form of paradise on earth.I tossed around the wide perimeter of my bed enjoying the soft relaxation my mattress provided, while the cool breeze from the rain, sang a sweet lullaby to me. I hugged my duvet a little tighter and rolled so it enclosed me in its warmth.Sploosh!That could pass for an alarm, but from the painful splash across my face. My eyes flew open from the impact of the water that knocked every wisp of air from my lungs. I sat upright immediately, struggling to inhale and exhale simultaneously. The water was so cold that it stung and snatched every atom of warmth and heat within my grasp.My eyes narrowed at my smirking baptist who stood arm akimbo and tapped her feet constantly on the floor, enjoying my reaction."Harriet!!" I hollered with clenched fists, eyes shut firmly, and furrowed brows before throwing a
Having your life flash around you while you scream so loud with your body trembling in trepidation as you mutter prayers of forgiveness in your mind is the craziest incident no one should experience.Everyone wants a swift, easy, effortless, and peaceful death, and not the crazy type that gives you hypertension while you scream your lungs out. Death is a one-man thing and to be honest, I don't even know how Alex is fairing.I just hope mom doesn't cry too much, my brother doesn't fall into depression, and that Harriet doesn't turn my house to a full-time brothel.All of these were going on in my mind when the jet screeched, 'system rebooting in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1." And from the ground floor, we went up the sky in massive velocity."Thank you, Lord, oh my goodness," I screamed, unbuckle my seatbelt and jump on Alex's lap in joy. He was bathed in sweat and fear that his body kept on shivering."Are we dead
"Alex," a chubby-cheeked man with a ginormous moustache called.Alex's face became rigid and stiff immediately and he muttered, "Mallam Tanko."______The hostility in the atmosphere was thick, forged, and toxic that a new knife will go blunt at the attempt of slicing it. My heart heaved up as I tried not to breathe in the poisonous oxygen the air possessed.The two men stood at a fierce and fighting stance. Their eyes communicated thousands of hostile insults, words for words while I stood there like a little kid, observing and trying to appear distinct in the midst."Great to see you here," mallam Tanko said and stretched his hands out for a shake."Same here," Alex replied with clenched teeth and shook his hand firmly that Mallam Tanko winced a little."I hope you are looking forward to our business meeting tomorrow, Alex?""Definitely." Alex cocked a brow and clutched me tighter till I could feel pains around my r
Mondays in Nigeria is one of the most hated days of the week. Most people don't even smile on Mondays knowing they have to resume another stress-filled week while struggling to beat Monday morning traffic after having a relaxed filled and cosy weekend with the family. The idea of abandoning it for work can be quite frustrating. Most kids even come up with a fake illness just to avoid school.Every other person out there is either heading to work or school but the reverse is the case here, I am here in the living room trapped with Alex who was clad in a pair of joggers."What do we do today now that the business deal is off?" I munched on my toast bread and took a sip from my hot chocolate."What do you think?" Alex walked towards the dining table to have his share of his breakfast."I don't know, you are the boss," I shrugged and stared at the crazy statics of people that have lost their lives to covid-19 in the television."And you are the assist