Chapter four

"Look at this silly guy." Harriet pointed at the TV with scorn on her face.

"He has such a beautiful wife yet he cheats on her with someone that looks like she is wearing Halloween mask on her face." I hissed, rubbing my legs that were folded beneath in yoga style.

"Men are just so despicable." She frowned, changing the station.

"Objection my ladies!" Fridaous hollered, raising his hands in defence. "I take an exception to that, not all men are like that." He continued.

"But why do they really cheat, what do they want from us?" Harriet turned to Fridaous, folding her arms to her chest.

"Don't ladies cheat too?" He fired, raising a brow.

"But guys cheating has become so common and rampant these days." I butted in.

"Most ladies chase the bag using their body and the guys just want to catch the cruise." He hugged a throw pillow. "It such a pity most girls translate it to something serious." He shrugged.

"Women should be worshipped, we are goddesses and not a freaking toy to insatiable men." Harriet snorted.

"The real question is this, do women act like they should be worshipped? Especially those ones that always need 2k urgently." He said making us chuckle.

"Not every ladies wants 2k urgently." Harriet countered with a frown marring her face.

"Yes, they are some that want to ruin guys completely." He fired back making me laugh and Harriet frown harder.

"You mean the ones that follow different Alhajis." I nudged my head in Harriet's direction.

"Ditto." He winked making me chuckle harder.

"You guys should stop changing the topic o, Men are trash and scum," Harriet whined.

"Not every guy is a scum, I'm one of the bonafide unique guys." He snapped his finger.

I narrowed my eyes. "Unique indeed! That was why a girl came home crying to mother that you broke her heart." I fired.

He froze like an antelope in headlights. "I can't seem to remember o."

Harriet leaned closer with a smile on her face. 

I grinned. "October eight, two years ago?" 

He scratched his head looking confused. "Well, it was just a harmless mistake, it was for cruising and she got it all wrong."

"Harmless? But you appeared harmful to the girl by shattering her heart into pieces." Harried chuckled so hard, slapping her thighs.

"Well, I'm born again." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Abeg, make we hear word." Harriet shut him up with her palm. "Nonsense!" She concluded.

In case you haven't gotten it yet, it is Saturday afternoon and Fridaous came visiting. The sunshine is in our bones, its heat radiating outwards into the bright day. The fan in the living room seems non-existence because we can't feel it function.

Harriet wiped the beads of sweat adorning her forehead. "O boy, this weather hot no be small." She said in pidgin accent.

"I heard the sun is getting bigger and advancing slowly to Earth." Fridaous butted in.

"Hmm! Helioseismologist." I raised my hands, saluting him.

"What is the meaning of that long grammar you just said?" Harriet stared on in confusion.

"It is the study of the sun." Fridaous and I chorused, leaving a disorientated Harriet to digest it.

"So guys, guess what?" Harriet hollered, doing a crazy dance.

"You met a new Alhaji?" Fridaous blurted out and earned a knock on the head from her.

"There is this new recipe I saw on youtube and you lucky people will be the first to taste my culinary skills." She wiggled her brows playfully. "I call it, happily ever after, spaghetti bolognese." She clapped excitedly.

"I'm not actually hungry." I scratched my head, swallowing hard. 

"But you said your breakfast wasn't satisfying enough few hours ago?" She glared at me, pouting her lips.

"Well, I decided to do a three days dry fasting for a better Nigeria. My pastor said it is mandatory." I licked my dry lips, hoping I sounded convincing enough.

She tapped her chin, glaring at me. "Prepare to extend that yeye fasting to twenty days." She hissed.

"And you jare? Better pikin." She wrapped her arm around Fridaous' neck.

"I will just take garri without sugar, thanks." He faced the television with rapt attention.

"What is wrong with you all? is my cooking that bad?" She cried out, fuming.

"No one said it is bad." I started, trying to make her feel better.

"It is that bad." Fridaous hollered facing her. "You almost burnt down this house the day you attempted to boil ordinary water." He spat, removing her arm.

"That was just a mistake now, this one will be perfect." She sounded convincing.

"Perfect?" Fridaous queried, widening his eyes. "Isn't that what you said the other day you attempted cooking noodles and you ended up putting locust beans, saying you wanted it to be spicy?" He eyed her and hissed.

"You are just a very stupid boy." She hollered and began chasing him around with a throw pillow while I laughed at them.

My phone pinged from the couch. I picked it up from the purple couch and saw a mail notification. It is an interview invite to Ajah. One of the most influential places on the Island where rich people reside, It is quite different from the mainland. The celebrity, politicians and wealthy folks occupy the place, enjoying all its good benefits and leaving the poor to settle on the mainland where the struggle and hustle of Lagos lives. It says an interview from Access bank headquarters.

With nonchalance, I set my phone on reminder knowing it will mostly end up in premium tears but I decided to give it a try.

"Why are you angry with me? I want only stating the fact. You are a horrible cook so deal with it." Fridaous hollered as an energetic Harriet ran after him still thirsty for revenge.

The doorbell rings making everyone pause what they were doing as confusion look spread around.

"Are you expecting someone?" Harriet asked me, a frown marring her features.

I shook my head in negativity. "I was about asking you the same question."

"I hope it is not one of Kasali's numerous flings?" Fridaous cocked a brow, his lips curved up in amusement.

"No nau, Biliki the fish seller already left the street in shame after she got pregnant for the mechanic guy two blocks away," I commented while they both nodded in acknowledgement.

"Ah! Ambassador of amebo association of Ikeja, I throw way yansh for you." Harriet danced towards me.

"Well, kasali gave me the juicy gist." I shrugged my shoulders.

"That mechanic guy na bad guy, sharp guy!" Fridaous hailed chuckling. 

The doorbell rings again, demanding someone goes to the door.

"I will open up." Harriet surrendered and danced in her bum short towards the door.

She opened the door and hissed loudly. "Immediately I saw this your tattered shirt, I knew it was going to be you." Harriet eyed the intruder, her arms blocked the door shielding the person from entering.

"Honestly ehn, fuck you." The person said loudly in anger.

"Please get out of here, after you finished drilling a hole in all the girls you still have the audacity to come here and tell me, fuck you?" She twirled around pulling her crop-top. 

"I know your problem, your sugar daddy forgot to pay you for the weekend before leaving his house." He pointed an accusing finger at her, "when are you leaving my girlfriend's house?"

"Keep your dirty mouth shut." Harriet hollered, her nostrils flared up.

"Your mates are buying expensive rides and taking their girlfriends out for shopping, you brought dead vegetables." She hissed and walked inside the living room leaving my angry boyfriend standing at the door.

"Damn!" Fridaous squealed. "Who got that insult?" He chuckled.

"Every time you behave like a foreign witch that I'm beginning to see you as one." He attacked Harriet, mimicking her walking steps.

"Male prostitute!" She clapped. "Oyah take." She slapped her butt and left the room.

He walked towards me holding a bouquet. They were rose flowers that looked like it was freshly plucked. The blossom opens as if each flower was a book--a book that was more sculpted than written, the ink infusing into the petals to give them their soft glow. It was beautiful and thoughtful of him, but do Nigerian ladies accept flowers?

"Baby, I'm sorry." He said softly kneeling in front of me.

"Marvis, why are you here?" I asked angrily, tapping my footsteps on the red rug while I fumed.

"I just came to apologize, I know I fucked up big time." He admitted, giving me his puppy eyes in an attempt to bribe me.

"Do your parents even realize they are proof that two wrongs don't make a right?" My brows furrowed as I folded my arms to my chest.

"Tife!" He spat and stood up angrily. "Don't you dare involve my parents, what is wrong with you sef?" He nudged his head at me, anger overwhelming him.

"Please!" I silenced him with my palm. "Save your breath, you will probably need it to blow up your next date with your numerous flings." I spat angrily and stood up, ready to walk into my room.

He followed me, blocking my part and a smile lighted his face. "I'm sorry babes." He tucked my braids to the side of my ear, caressing my face.

"What do you what?" I shook my head looking at everywhere but him.

"I looked up beautiful in thesaurus today and your name was included." He voice came out softly as he held my chin up, forcing me to look up at him. He is a little bit taller than me.

"That's funny." I chuckled. "I saw your name next to trash." I spat, my smile dissolved into a frown as I dodged his arms trying to head into my room.

"Shit!" We all chorused as the power supply got interrupted. Here in Nigeria, especially the mainland we get to deal with constant power interruption despite the fact that we are rich enough to power the whole country for millenniums without scratching the surface.

"It is all your fault." Fridaous frowned at my boyfriend.

"What?" Marvis glared at him.

"Must your bad luck always tag along with you?" He hollered. "Since yesterday night there was constant power, you showed up one minute, it got interrupted." He finished up and hissed.

"Are you alright? Is he within your age range?" I scolded my brother and flung a throw pillow at him.

"Whatever." He hissed and exited the room.

"Look I'm sorry, I promise to never cheat again." He pleaded, using his handkerchief to fan his face as the room got hotter.

"That is what you always say, so go away with your cheating ass and go disturb another bitch." I pushed him away from my side. He circled my waist and pulled me back for a long kiss.

"Baby I said I'm sorry." He paused the kiss, sincerity was written all over his eyes.

"The next time you cheat on me." I bit my finger and snapped it. "I will kill you." I threatened.

"I'm all yours to kill baby." He said making me chuckle, he pulled me towards the three sitter couch where we settled for business.