Kabanata 2

Hindi rin nagtagal ang kaniyang paglalakad at nakarating na siya sa tapat ng opisina ng kaniyang ama. Bumuntong hininga muna siya ng malalim saka tatlong beses na kumatok mula sa labas ng opisina, bago pinihit ang sedura ng pinto at pumasok sa loob.

"Good morning, Daddy. Pinatawag niyo raw po ako?" bati ni Clea sa kaniyang ama na prenteng nakaupo sa swivel chair nito. Pagkapasok pa lang niya sa loob ay naaamoy na niya agad ang matapang na kapeng barako na siyang paborito ng kaniyang ama.

He looked at her for a moment before closing the book he's reading. He instructed her to sit down, which she did immediately. Mahinhin na inayos ni Clea ang kaniyang dress at tuwid na umupo.

“I will give you a bachelorette present for being a good daughter to us.” paninimula ng kaniyang ama.

Matamis siyang ngumiti dito. Sabi nila, hindi ibibigay ng diyos ang lahat-lahat sa’yo. Sa madaling salita, walang perpekto. Masaya siya sa pamilya niya dahil para sa kaniya'y walang bahid nang kahit na anong dungis ang mga magulang niya. They are good people. However, there she is. She mastered the art of lying and she didn't know why.

Hanggang ngayon ay nahihiwagaan pa rin siya sa buhay ng isang tao. She was loved yet she still feel incomplete.

The office door opened, and her Mother spat with a broad smile when she saw her. She immediately smiled back.

“The day after tomorrow is your wedding day. Are you excited, anak?”  tanong ng kaniyang pinakamamahal na ina sa kaniya.

Natampal niya ang kaniyang sariling noo. Mas excited pa ang mommy niya kaysa sa kaniya. Sa totoo lang, ang ina niya at ang soon-to-be in-laws niya ang nag-asikaso ng lahat ng preparation from the venue, to the clothes, foods and all. She don’t have a say. She never expected they would come up with such decision with no doubts. For them, she's an honest, obedient, soft-hearted daughter of one of the wealthiest business tycoons in the Philippines, Clementine Lazaro.

In her 25th year of existence, she never knew the real meaning of freedom. She want to live a life of truthfulness, free from deceptions.

They believed that she showed her true self and spoke the truth honestly, despite the fact that it is easier for her to lie. Akala ng lahat ng tao ay wala nang kulang pa sa kaniya ngunit kulang siya sa pinakamahalagang bagay na nagbigay kulay sa mundo— at ito ay ang pag-ibig.

Maraming uri ng pagmamahal ngunit may isang kulang na hindi napupunan ng sino man. At iyon ang gusto niyang hanapin at matagpuan ngunit napaka-imposible.

For a brief moment, she bit the inside of her lower lip and nodded her head. “Y-yes po.”

Her wedding day is getting nearer yet she wasn’t excited at all. True love, it is said, illuminates the darkness of the world. Despite the painful memories of the past, it is said that happiness takes the place of the present. The only thing that keeps the world spinning is love. Love makes the world go round. Love turns man around.

Since she was a child, they train her how to speak softly and full of respect. Pinagsaklob ng kaniyang ina ang dalawang kamay habang lumalapit sa kaniya.

“Tama talaga ang desisyon na ipakilala ka kay Sam…” Marahang hinahaplos ng kaniyang ina ang buhok niya. “Ilang taon na nga kayong mag-boyfriend girlfriend?”

She don't know if she should be happy with them doing things without her consent. Obviously, not at all.

“Pitong taon na po.” Nakangiwi niyang sagot.

Tumili ang kaniyang ina dahil sa sinabi niya. “Kinikilig talaga ako sa inyong dalawa. Na-imagine ko na magiging maganda at gwapo ang magiging anak niyo. Anyway, your cousin already told me na may bachelorette party kayo tonight?”

Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ni Clea, pero hindi niya iyon ipinahalata. She didn’t plan any. Isa na naman siguro ito sa pakulo ng kaniyang pinsan na si Madonna.

“Yes po. Hindi ko lang alam kung anong oras ako pupunta.” Nagtataka man ay wala siyang nagawa kung ‘di ang sumang-ayon.

“Mas maaga mas better para naman makapag-enjoy kayo.”

“Here’s my gift for you, Clea.” Inilahad nito ang isang maliit na kulay pulang jewelry box. “Buksan mo iyan sa araw ng kasal mo at ipasuot sa lalaking makakasama mo habang buhay…”

Matamis siyang ngumiti saka tinanggap ito. “Thank you, Daddy. I will cherish it po.”

Matapos ang pag-uusap sa opisina ng kaniyang ama ay nanatili siya sa kwarto habang nagpapalipas ng oras. Nag-text rin sa kaniya si Madonna upang ipaalam ang location ng party. She's hoping they aren't bringing any boys because she's well aware of how capable her cousins are. Tonight is the big night! However, she doesn't feel anything at all. She's in between. She's not happy nor sad. Pakiramdam niya'y isa lang siyang pushover. She need to pull herself together.

Wake up, Clea! Wake up.

Tahimik siyang nakaupo sa woodeen desk chair habang inaayos ni Madonna ang kaniyang buhok. She tugged and coaxed her hair into a perfect French braid.

"Please keep still, Clea. I'm almost done. Napakamainipin mo talaga,” pagalit na sabi ng kaniyang pinsan sa kaniya.

Madonna can see the emptiness inside her even though she perfect the art of deception. Her cousin is a trustworthy kind of person and she's her bestfriend. She's glad she have a cousin like her.

"Anong gagawin mo kapag kasal na kayo?" tanong nito bigla na nagpakunot sa kaniyang noo. Bigla siyang napaisip. Ano nga bang gagawin niya? In the first place, gusto nga ba niyang ikasal?

"I don't know. Household chores, I guess?" Natatawa niyang biro kay Madonna.

"Wow, couz! Huwarang asawa?” Kitang-kita niya kung paano tumirik ang mga mata ng pansin.

Inabot niya ang libro at binuklat iyon. Agad na bumungad sa kaniya ang isang tanong. She creased her brow when she started to read the book.

‘What age will u find your true love?’

According to the research, the average woman finds her life partner at the age of 25, while for men, they're more likely to find their soulmate at 28, with half of people finding 'the one' in their twenties.

“Hindi ko pa rin maiintindihan kong bakit pinag-resign ka sa trabaho mo. Resident doctor ka na sa Inzerillo Hospital, sayang naman."

"I don't have a choice, Madonna. Besides, mom and dad agreed with Sam's parents. They want us to have a child as soon as possible. They are eager to have an heir."

Muli niyang binuklat ang isang pahina.

‘How do you know if someone is meant for you?’ Pagbabasa niyang muli hanggang sa ipinagpatuloy ang pagbabasa. They help you become a better person. You help each other see the parts in yourselves you don't want to see. They show you things you didn't know, teach you valuable lessons, encourage you to follow your dreams, and to listen to yourself. They move you to your higher nature, to your higher truth.

Is Sampson Suarez her true love then? She think so, but not to the extent that he can fill the hole in her heart. Sam is her comfort zone, but not her peace of mind. She's marrying him for convenience and for their parents bidding. Besides, wala na rin naman siyang nakitang lalaking hihigit pa sa kaniyang kasintahan. He’s the prince charming type of guy. He's the kind of guy that every woman dreams of having as a husband or boyfriend.

"Naisip ko lang, what if mabibigyan ka nang chance na maging malaya kahit maraming masasaktan. Are you willing to grab that opportunity?"

Napahinto siya bigla sa iniisip niya.

"Anong klaseng tanong 'yan?" Natatawa niyang tanong sa tanong ng kaniyang pinsan sa kaniya.

"What if nga lang! KJ mo." Bahagya nitong hinila ang buhok niya. Sinamaan ng tingin ni Clea ang kaniyang pinsan ngunit tumawa lang ito at nag-peace sign pa!

Malalim siyang napabuntong hininga. Bigla rin siyang napaisip sa tanong nito. Willing nga ba siyang magsakripisyo? Ano ‘to, no pain to gain? Gusto niyang matikman kung ano ang tunay na kalayaan. Iyong walang magdidikta sa kung anong dapat at hindi dapat niyang gawin. Well, she knew this kind of situation will no longer be an opportunity for her, but a miracle. She love her fiancé, Sam. The love that can be learned. Natutunan na rin niya itong mahalin sa loob ng mahabang panahon. Natuturuan ang pusong magmahal basta bukas ang isip mong tanggapin siya.

Sampson Suarez is a perfect man, he's responsible, loving and kind. Bilang isang babae, siya ang prince charming na hihilingin mo. Wala kang masasabing masama sa kaniya. That’s why she didn't mind marrying him. To be with him means she's at ease. He represents her comfort zone, and she would never consider stepping outside of that comfort zone. It's dull and boring, but it's peaceful. Leaving Sam will make him sad and broken. That is something she do not want to happen. Thinking about him crying because of her makes her heart feel like it's about to burst open. She's not going to let him go. She's just not able to do it. He lends her a hand to reach from drowning in abyss of darkness.

“That will be miracle, Madonna.” she sarcastically said.

Madonna continues fixing her hair and didn’t bother to answer.

She was only shaken because she knew what she was doing was wrong. She made a mistake by being depressed at one point in her life. She should still be grateful because, despite the fact that she's a normal person, she should be grateful for the fact that she's alive and well in this world, breathing normally and surviving. She shouldn't ask for too much because her life with her family in this world is perfectly adequate for her at this time.

"I'm a little bit nervous for tonight's party. Do I look okay?" Inilapag niya ang libro saka siya umayos ng upo.

"Hmm. You are beautiful as usual, Clea. Kaya patay na patay sa'yo si Sampson e." Humagalpak ito ng tawa, tila nang-aasar.

She grinned sheepishly while looking at her reflection on the mirror. She's wearing a mint green silky dress that came to mid-thigh and with spaghetti strap, revealing half of her cleavage and back. She's showing too much skin, but it made her feel glamorous.

Tumuwid siya ng tayo na mas lalong nagpalitaw sa bawat kurba ng katawan niya.

"Anong oras na pala?" tanong niya sa kaniyang pinsan. Pinagmasdan niya si Madonna sa salamin habang pinapasadahan nito ng tingin ang relong pambisig.

"Quarter to eight. Aalis na rin tayo." Muli siyang pinasadahan nang tingin ni Madonna sa full-length mirror. She smiled at her reflection. "Ang ganda! Kaloka. Tara na nga!" Madonna giggled while holding her purse. Nagkibit balikat na lang siya at sumunod sa kaniyang pinsan na lumabas na ng kaniyang kwarto.