Chapter 8 : Guilt and Pleasure

*Lexie’s POV*

The warm sun does little to ease my churning thoughts as I lay out by the pool, the memory of Noland's touch lingering on my skin. How did we let things go so far? Each fleeting caress played on loop, my cheeks burning with shame and arousal in equal measure.

Natasha emerges, her laughter shattering my reverie. "Did you see the interview outfit I picked? I want to give them a very good impression of me. Not only looks but also brains, you know what I mean?" She flashes a coy smile, oblivious to the turmoil raging within me.

I force a smile, pushing aside the swell of guilt. "You always look stunning. And you irradiate confidence and brains Tash, don’t worry. You got this."

"Thank you Lex, you know exactly what to say to cheer me up and give me confidence." Natasha settles into the lounge chair beside me. "So, how was your morning? You disappeared after breakfast, it was just me and daddy. I was looking for you."

My pulse quickens at the mention of Noland. Did he regret what happened last night? Or was he hoping for more? I averted my gaze, feigning interest in a passing cloud. "Just needed some time to myself. I went for a walk along the beach."

"We only have a few days left here. I was hoping we could spend more time together." A note of petulance edges Natasha's voice and it makes me panic. "You've been acting strange lately. Is everything okay?"

I swallow hard, scrambling for a reply. How could I possibly tell my best friend I was tangled in a web of desire with her father? "Of course. I guess I'm just not used to all of this. I'll make more of an effort, I promise."

Natasha's features soften, and I feel a small relief. "No need to explain. I'm just being silly." She sighs, glancing at her watch. "My interview's in an hour. Do you mind if we continue our chat over dinner instead?"

"Not at all. Good luck!" Reluctance and relief warres within me as Natasha leaves in a flurry of excitement. Now, alone with my thoughts once more, I braced myself for the thoughts that are going to floor me once more.

And I was not wrong, after half an hour here in the pool, the thoughts of last night are impossible to erase; more than anything, I believe that I don’t want to erase them, I feel like I want more but I can’t.

Sooner or later, I will find Noland and I won’t know how to act. What do I really want? I want to be with him, but I can’t. I sigh in frustration and get up, picking my book and wrapping my silk sharoon around my waist, deciding to go back to my room and perhaps recover some lost sleep. After all, what I did last night stole all of it from me.

As I pass by Noland's slightly ajar room, an impulse takes hold of me, compelling me to glance inside. My cheeks burn at the sight of him emerging from the bathroom, a towel wrapped low around his waist. Droplets of water trickle down his broad chest and shoulders, my gaze tracing their path.

Desire pools in my lower abdomen at the sight of him, memories of our night together rushing back in vivid detail. The feel of his hands skimming my body, his lips claiming mine, the pleasure that bordered on pain as he filled me. I squeeze my eyes shut, my nails biting into my palms. How did I let things go so far?

Just as I'm about to retreat, his voice startles me. “Come in, Lexie.”

With a mixture of reluctance and intrigue, I step into the room, my pulse quickening as his eyes find mine. “Lock the door and come here.”

My fingers tremble slightly as I turn the lock, the click resounding in the tense silence.

His direct question “did you like what you saw?” hangs in the air, laden with a sense of anticipation, and I find myself too flustered to respond.

My cheeks flame hotter, breath catching in my throat. What can I possibly say? That I shouldn't have been watching him in the first place, or that the sight of his naked body is now seared into my memory?

When I remain silent, Noland closes the distance between us in two swift strides. He tilts my chin up, gaze searching. "The truth, Lexie. I won't ask you again."

His commanding tone leaves no room for evasion. I wet my lips, pulse racing. "Yes," I admit in a whisper. "I liked it."

A slow, knowing smile spreads across his face. He brushes his knuckles along my jaw, igniting sparks beneath my skin. "Good girl."

The praise washes over me in a heated wave, eliciting a response I'm not yet ready to confront. I stare up at him, torn between mortification and something far more dangerous. But he lets me go and walks to a desk, where there is a glass of water. I watch him take a sip of it and I welcome the few seconds I have to catch my breath.

“Sit there,” he commands me and I find myself responding quickly and naturally. He is not even looking at me but I think he knows I am doing all he asks me to.

One of the things that pull me so much to Noland, is that he seems to know what to say, and when to say it. There are no unnecessary words, unrequested comments. His actions speak loudly to my body, and make me want him more.

Seated on the edge of his bed, where he commanded me to be, I feel a rush of vulnerability as Noland stands before me, a few steps away, his figure outlined by the soft, golden light filtering through the curtains.

The air crackles with tension, and my heart races as he allows the towel to drop, leaving nothing but the space between us.

I can't tear my gaze away, drinking in the sight of his body with a mixture of longing and trepidation. He's all lean muscle and tanned skin, scars and shadows hinting at a history I have yet to unravel.

When I meet his eyes again, the desire darkening their depths steals my breath. He stalks toward me with slow, deliberate steps, closing the distance between us, and I'm paralyzed in place. Powerless to resist him.

"What is it you want, Lexie?" His voice is low, rough with restraint. He stops mere inches away, the heat of his body enveloping me. I can feel the evidence of his arousal, and my cheeks burn hotter.

I swallow against the dryness in my throat, heart hammering. "I don't know," I whisper. And it's the truth. I want impossible things, things I have no right to ask for. Things that can only end in heartbreak.

His hand closes around my chin, tilting my face up to his. "Yes, you do. Tell me."

I shake my head in mute denial, but it's not enough. He won't relent until I give him what he wants. What we both want, if I'm being honest with myself.

I lick my lips and meet his gaze. "You."

The word hangs between us, heavy with promise and regret. Noland's eyes darken, pupils blown wide. “Take it in your hands,” he commands and I feel my cheeks hotter.

Without taking my eyes from his, my hand reaches to his cock and I feel it twitch to my touch, his eyes get hooded and his breathing quickens, I can’t believe what I am doing. He is so hard under my touch, and I feel my own desire increase between my thighs while I feel his hot body right in front of me.

“See what you provoque in me, Lexie?” His words are taunting me. He is just standing there and not moving an inch, and I think he knows that I am so nervous about this.

I know this is wrong, this should not be happening, but I can’t help to enjoy it. I lean closer, and my eyes close as I let my tongue lap at the tip of his cock. I feel his hand wrap my hair and he stops me. “Lexie…” a warning. Is he afraid?

My eyes open again and I look up at him, I can’t form words, but he reads me and lets me go. And so I let my mouth open, and without parting my eyes from his, I start to kiss and suck the throbbing head of his member, and with a gasp I feel hot it grows even more. He is so big, will I ever be able to have him in me?

The salty taste in my mouth makes me blush, I lick it from the tip, and then start to feel it deeper inside. He does not move an inch, I am doing all of this and I feel incredible at seeing how much I can affect him. I let my teeth grasp his shaft and see his head pull back and he releases a moan and makes my core wet.

I was never able to do this with anyone, I never had this level of intimacy with any other man. Noland is overpowering my senses by allowing me to take control of this moment and letting me please him, and it only makes me want for him grow.

The tip of his cock gags me and I cough, but I don’t stop. I want him to see that, even though I am younger, I am capable of pleasing him, I can take him. He looks down at me again as I bob my head and, by instinct, I let a hand caress his thighs. “Lexie… fuck.”

And his resolve is long gone; he holds my head with both hands, and starts to thrust faster. I move both hands and hold myself to his towering frame, steading myself as he finally lets go of his self-control and allows me to completely please him.

I hear him groan and I want him to sink inside of me badly, but I am not sure I am ready, and I let him sink deeply in my throat. I hold my breath and he grunts as he thrusts roughly, I know he is so close to come and I feel a crave to taste him, so when I feel him start to pull out, I press my lips harder, sucking him hard, and he growls as he sees what I am doing.

“Fuck!” he screams and I feel the hot cream of release in my mouth, and for a moment, I almost come too just with the pleasure of being able to bring him this far. I swallow and gag a bit more, but I don’t let any drop go to waste, as I suck everything from him.

A few moments later, he takes a step back and almost stumbles, did I weaken him that much? I can barely believe it myself. He chuckles and I look up at him, blushing deeply.

“I need to get ready for work, come help me get dressed,” he says as he turns around and heads to the closet. I fight the urge of touching myself to release the hot tension between my thighs, but I quickly follow him.

He hands me his jacket and I hold it up for him as he puts a shirt on and starts buttoning it, the quiet and simple moment is nothing but intimate to me; he lets me ease his elegant jacket and he hands me his tie as he snatches a pair of pants.

“Lexie?!” I am shocked as I hear Natasha call out for me. My eyes widen and yet Noland doesn’t even flinch.

“My tie, Lexie.” he orders and my hands shake as I struggle to keep them steady, I slide the piece of fabric around his neck and start to fiddle with it trying to remember how to breathe.

A knock on the door makes me catch my breath. “Daddy, have you seen Lexie?” I hear Natasha through the door and I beg for her not to open it.

Noland has a small smile as he looks at my desperate eyes. “She mentioned something about visiting the stables, I told her she could go for a ride in any of the horses.”

“Oh, damn it, I came to pick up one of my designs for the interview as they postponed it for another hour. I wanted to see if she would like to join me.” My heart tugs at the guilt and the betrayal to her, but before I could react in any way, I hear her heels as she walks away. “See you tonight daddy, I will catch Lexie then too.”

“Dazzle them, babe.” Noland says loudly as he catches my wrist firmly.

“Yes I will, Chao!” I hear her voice fade and a door being closed.

Noland looks down at me with a smirk, and I am terrified of the disaster that almost happened. “Did you forget that you locked the door?” He says in amusement.

The shock in my face is probably evident, as he starts to chuckle and pulls me close, tilting my chin up. “The devil knows how to play,” he whispers against my lips and steals my breath away.