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2024-10-29 19:42:56"Say cheese!" My mother who seemed unusually excited chimed in her shrill voice to grab the attention of the room full of people, standing in scattered small clusters, as she took pictures of them and their loud smiles. A moment captured in time forever, a memory which would hardly ever be recalled again but it succeeded in achieving what she wanted.
To show how happy and silly we were. The truth? Not so much.
That was the point. These pictures, these happy smiles, these parties, it has always been the point. To avoid suspicion, to act normal, to blend in. Getting people's affirmations felt like having a subconscious conscience where everything they did was justified, and they knew that if something ever happened then they will always be supported by these people who didn't know the harsh reality of their true faces.
She tucked a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear as for a moment her facade broke and with that still pearly white smile on her face she spotted me and looked at me in a certain way which I was too familiar with.
I stood out like a sore thumb here. In my white dress, neatly pleated hair, emotionless face, quiet and alone. It didn't come to me, naturally or unnaturally. As if that piece was missing from me, snatched away. I couldn't bring myself to even smile back at the several smiling faces that would often questioningly look at me and perhaps wonder what was wrong with this sunken-eyed girl with a dark cloud all around her. Something that repelled everyone around.
I turned away and walked to another room in search of a safe place where the chatter wasn't so loud, and I was invisible to the prying eyes of the people whose attention was on people other than me even if it was for one day. A day that I always looked forward to for reasons not common to most.
Upstairs looked like a good option but an option I was not provided. My grounds were strictly restricted to the three rooms downstairs occupied by the people to show that I was doing okay. I am fine. So that the screams or quiet whispers, whatever reached them were wrong and just something they might have imagined or heard were false tales.
The living room, the study, and the dining room.
None of them were empty yet the only available options I could choose from. Walking into the study room felt overwhelming because I was never allowed there. It was a mixed feeling of cautiousness and something new that I hardly ever felt. Peace.
I walked over to the windowsill and sat on the tufted cushion with a soft sigh on my lips. Pulling my knees up to my chest, trying to warm my cold self as the night glistened outside in the moonlight, on the snowflakes that drifted softly down on the earth. Quietly, making sure to not bother anyone. It must be cold outside too.
Their voices still loud and clear, it was hard to be alone. Well, I was never really alone, and yet I always was. Their eyes always on mine some way or the other. Making sure I didn't break the rules, making sure I did what I was told to do, making sure I kept quiet, making sure I pretended when they wanted me to.
I was good at pretending. Always have been. Like right now as I pretended to walk perfectly fine with a sprained ankle, bruises and cuts on my back, arms and a harmless, perfectly reserved, stoic face devoid of any emotions. I'd give myself that. I was good at pretending.
Sometimes if I tried enough, just hard enough...I could even pretend that I wasn't here.
A deep sigh closed eyes and I could pretend. The voices died down around me as I breathed and let myself breathe as deeply as I could. Feeling the chill cocoon, hold me in its prickling yet gentle caress. I was there. Alone. With no one around. Just me.
Only if that was true.
I didn't notice the stranger that stood in that room, staring at me with eyes sharper than the ones I was used to. A mind so dark and twisted that in a way you can't deny the genius his dexterous abilities because the plans he had swirling in his head from the moment he laid eyes on me was something no one could foresee.
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It was raining so hard. Nothing felt right. This indescribable uneasiness, that settled in the pit of my stomach, made it impossible for me to sit still. There were so many things that I needed to do, work, but I just couldn’t because it made me feel so overwhelmed. Too paralysed by the stress of it all, as they sat on my forehead like a heavy hammer that I could not remove until and unless the things on my to-do list were scratched off. I took the glasses off my eyes and carelessly tossed it on the desk to look away from the brightly lit white screen off my laptop as it did nothing but increase my infuriating migraine. The urge to put my own head on my lap and just stay there for a long, long time was immense, but it would make me feel more lonely in this empty house which was once occupied by Liza as well. Now it felt more dead than ever, with me being the only occupant. The drops of rain knocked against the window pane in the complete darkness of the night. The lights inside the
Submitting Information
They simply had no idea. They didn’t even know that we existed before I came here. They had no idea about me or Liza at all. “So Rose, you were trapped and kidnapped in a house by two men, for how long?” he was taking notes in his small notepad which seemed nothing but funny to me. The things that I went through won’t even suffice 10 such notepads. What would he do then?“I don’t know.” There was no way for me to realise the amount of time I spent there. At times, it felt that the time was completely frozen and didn’t move at all, and sometimes it felt like time was moving at light years speed. Not that the clocks helped either because I was sure that they were messing with them as well. Mentally messing me up more than could realise at that point of time. Moreover, I didn’t know what day it was, what month it was. That crucial piece of information was hidden from me very well.“Okay…” He cleared his throat and jotted down something more in that tiny notepad of his, whose contents w
Submitting Help
Her eyes so kind, so soft, so naive. Innocent. Untouched by the cruelty of the world outside. A flicker in the darkness, I hope never extinguishes. The world needed people like her to stay alive. Such conscience, that hasn’t even flickered once in her years of life. I didn’t need to be told. Her brown eyes were an open book, baring her soul as she walked towards me with hopeful and helpful eyes. If she could, she would have tried to absorb the pain out of me, but I felt thankful that she couldn’t.“Yes, Rose? What can I do for you?” She knew what I meant when I asked for her help, but I couldn’t do this to her and I won’t share my pain with her because I know it would eat away a piece out of her. God knows that there’s enough hungry wolves outside, and I wasn’t going to be one of them who did that. “I think it’s time that I talk to the cops or anyone with authority. There’s… things that need to be sorted.” Liza. I needed to get her out of there as soon as possible. It was scary to th
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“Rose. I am really sorry, but we had to get rid of your left leg.” What did she mean by that? I stared at her face blankly, unable to understand how to respond to the sick joke that she just played on me. There was no way that what she said was in any way plausible. I waited for her to break into a fit of laughter. I would have loved to smile as well, but such pleasure was obviously not written in my fate. I averted my gaze from her pity filled face to the thick blanket that covered me from the waist down. There was not a single fibre in my body that wanted me to confirm what I just heard. The lack of such confirmation felt like a strange blessing, moments that I wanted to cherish because I knew now that what I will get to see next would hardly make me feel anything but relief. “It’s okay. You don’t have to see it right now.” The nurse's voice broke me from my reverie. It put me to action as well, as I pulled the blanket off me in one swift motion to reveal the horror that awaited
